Do you prefer to approach or be approached by women?

[All_That_Is_Man]

I love how this thread went from "The Analytical Chemistry and Preference of the Courting Approach and the Flattery of Being Approached" to simply "...hookers".



All sarcasm aside, I actually find both topics to be intriguing.

[jamesbond]

I would much rather have women approach me than having to approach them. Approaching women means we have to face anxiety, fear of rejection, embarassment, abuse, and possibly even a lawsuit. Not to mention how flattering it must be if women actually approached us. You would then get the luxury of having to pick and choose who you want.

I think one of the best ways to find an "easy" country for dating, is to look at the men and hear what women are saying about them. Countries with men who approach women a lot means that: a) there is far too much competition; b) women have inflated ego's of themselves; c) not as many women available or single; and d) women are likely to be more picky.

I have been doing some research, and out of western Europe it appears that the German speaking countries would be the best places for men. I have seen many articles about how German men don't flirt, don't approach women, are shy etc. Many women even complain about this, especially Anglo women who go there for the first time - "In Germany I never got approached by any men, unlike the US where i'd get approached all the time" blah blah blah, cry me a f***ing river. Stay away from countries like France, and southern European countries like Italy, Spain, etc... as I hear women talk about how great it is to have foreign men approaching them on the street.

It would be a dream to live in a country where women approached men! Then MEN COULD DO THE CHOOSING and decide what women he want's to go out with. Wouldn't it be nice to be in a grocery store or bookstore and have women start conversations with you and ask you out?

Man, that would be heaven on earth, to live in a country where women approached men. I think the countries that come closest to that are Germany, Ukraine, Russia and the Philippines.

In anglo-countries, not only do women not approach men, they don't even flirt with men, they simply ignore men.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

OzGuy,
I NEVER approach women any more. The LAST woman I approached was my fav #1 in November 2007. I was in a bar in Germany and she walked in. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen so I just went over and told her that. I was still a beta, provider, loser smuck at the time.

It was a really funny meeting....just 5 minutes or so. You can read about it here if you like.

http://www.crimesagainstfathers.com/aus ... fault.aspx

We bumped into each other in March 2008 and laughed about our first meeting.

Since then I let women approach me. The idea is that if the woman walks over to you then she has already answered many of the questions you would have to answer if you walked over to her. Making her come to you puts you in control. And you know exactly what she wants. Money. If she does not come to you? Then she is not worth talking to.

Now. I am not saying I have a queue every night of women trying to talk to me. I am just saying that given my lifestyle that women hit on me often enough and from those I can select what I like.

I am not the kind of man who wants a lot of different women. I was a "one woman man" and I do not like starting up new relationships with women. If fav#1 had really wanted to move forward I would not have had other favs. Indeed fav#3 only appeared on the scene at a may day party when fav#1 chose not to come. And fav#3 only got a chance to be promoted because fav#1 dissed me a bit and needed to be shown who was the real prize here.

Let them come to you. If that means you have to tell them lies? Well? Are they honest? "Do unto others as they have done unto you".......given women condone perjury they can hardly complain if men lie to them.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

Well, a guy like me really does not care one way or the other because I simply don't care about women aside from the aspect of getting a nut.

But for you guys that like to be approached by women, just keep in mind that many women (not all) are predatory by nature, so if a woman chooses you, the chances are good that you have something of value that she wants which is the TRUE reason why she is pursuing you in the first place.


Random reasons why women pursue men (this list is not comprehensive):

• They are already pregnant by another man and they think you will be a better daddy.
• They want a baby and they think you will be a good daddy.
• They lost their job and they are about to be evicted.
• You have a nice house and car so she wants to move in and associate herself with your success.
• They want to quit their pathetic job.
• They're in huge debt and they need help.
• They live at home and they want to move out but they can't do it alone.
• They're a single mom and they are looking for help raising the baby.
• They're running from various problems from their past and they're looking for you to save them.
• They want to associate themselves with your status.
• They're looking to get married and they think you will be a good husband.
• To use you as a rebound guy or to make her x boyfriend jealous.

So in other words, yes, women chose men, but there is always a REASON why a woman chooses you, and so, it's your job as a smart man to figure out why she chose you, and what her agenda is.

NAG...women approach me for one reason and one reason only. MONEY. I look like a guy who has money.

I am nearly ALWAYS approached while eating in a restaurant alone. I am SOMETIMES approached when eating with a friend because we speak english which marks me as not from germany.

I have SOMETIMES been approached just in the street, on trams, in stores etc.

The excuse for the initial approach is ALWAYS that I am speaking english. The REASON for EVERY approach has been money.

I have no allusions about that. Indeed it is perfectly ok by me.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

Here you go guys, this is right out a woman's brain just to back up what I said earlier:

this is pretty much my wavelength I'm on right now. Taken into his circle of friends, upgrade me. I'm looking for a come up! Any guy that wants to date me, I'm looking to see how can I benefit from dating you besides dick?!"

hXXp://www.balleralert.com/forum/topics/what-d ... 2#comments


My F****** god! These cunts are delusional!

hXXp://www.balleralert.com/forum/topics/what-d ... 1#comments

WOW...just...WOW

[sushiman]

One of my rules from way back has always been I choose the girl and set the rules, she doesn't choose me.

If she chooses you, you have already been selected based on certain attributes which are part of her sick fantasy LOL. You just started the relation and yet are already on your way to becoming her pet.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

One of my rules from way back has always been I choose the girl and set the rules, she doesn't choose me.

If she chooses you, you have already been selected based on certain attributes which are part of her sick fantasy LOL. You just started the relation and yet are already on your way to becoming her pet.

Not if you are an alpha.

[tradcom]

Obvious choice is obvious. Having women approach you is simply easier.

[Renata]

as a girl I would prefer to be approached, I have the same anxieties of being rejected or just feeling silly afterwards. I've never had it in me to approach a guy. If I see someone, the most I would do is look, glance a few times, if I get his attention, smile lol ... I like being approached actually, it's nice it adds something to my day ... although if it's online I will initiate contact first.

[OzGuy]

as a girl I would prefer to be approached, I have the same anxieties of being rejected or just feeling silly afterwards. I've never had it in me to approach a guy. If I see someone, the most I would do is look, glance a few times, if I get his attention, smile lol ... I like being approached actually, it's nice it adds something to my day ... although if it's online I will initiate contact first.

Why do you think its fair that only men have to suffer this? Why not take some of the burden away from men and do your part by asking a man out?

Do you want the same rights as men? If so, then you must also take the less desirable responsibilities that come with it. This includes approaching men.

If you don't want to approach men, then don't work and get back into the kitchen.

Sorry, but you can't have it both ways.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

as a girl I would prefer to be approached, I have the same anxieties of being rejected or just feeling silly afterwards. I've never had it in me to approach a guy. If I see someone, the most I would do is look, glance a few times, if I get his attention, smile lol ... I like being approached actually, it's nice it adds something to my day ... although if it's online I will initiate contact first.

Renata,
well get used to it because we are going to be rejecting you women a lot.

Example.
This is from 2002.

My wife used to use sex as a weapon which most western women do. They to it cruelly, viciously, and in a calculated fashion. In conversations with FEMALE marriage counsellors they would be SHOCKED at what my wife would do to me and tell her to her face that she was vicious and cruel to me because she was using my love for her as a weapon.

An incident happened between us in 2002. This was when she was visiting me in the US where I was working. For the first time since I was a 12 year old I lost my temper. I was 187cm and 100kgs at the time. That my wife was being so cruel for so long that I actually lost my temper at her for the FIRST TIME since a child gives you an idea just how vicious and cruel women are to the men they "love". And do not try the crap of "you just got a bad one". My story is COMMON.

When I lost my temper I feared I would kill my wife in my then blind rage. So I ran to the bathroom and locked myself inside it. She even tried to follow me inside the bathroom to PROVOKE ME SOME MORE. She had NO IDEA her life was in danger.

After about 10 minutes I managed to calm myself down. I splashed water on my face etc. I was SHAKING WITH RAGE when I went into the bathroom...ABSOLUTELY SHAKING WITH RAGE. Pretty much ALL MEN know that if you provoke a man long enough he is going to snap. Just like if you poke a dog with a stick it will bite you. Only we blame the dog....but women blame the man.

When I came out I sat my wife down and said.

"You are a cruel and vicious woman. Our marriage is over. I am going to divorce you. You will NEVER AGAIN have the chance to be cruel to me. You will NEVER AGAIN have the chance to use my love for you as a weapon against me. I will NEVER AGAIN ask you to make love with me. NEVER AGAIN. I just lost my temper for the first time since I was 12. I could have killed you. I love you and I will never again place myself in the position where you might provoke me enough to kill you in a blind rage."

At first she laughed at me....really..she LAUGHED at me!!!

I had just told her that I could have KILLED HER and just told her that our marriage was over...I told her in the most serious of voices..and she LAUGHED at me!

I put her on the plane home. As she left I told her to organise matters such that we would cancel our planned holiday and return to Australia immediately on my completion of my project work. We had planned a three month holiday, including her parents coming over, after the end of the project.

When I told her that was cancelled her face dropped. She was all "you can't cancel our holiday, you will embarrass me"

I told her "Our marriage is over. We are getting divorced. As soon as this project is over? We go home. We split the money. I will have Joshua. You can have Josephine. 50/50 on assets. No alimony. No child support. You are a lazy bitch and a cruel woman. I do not want to be with you any more. I love you, but you are just to horrible to be with any more."

She would call me about the F***ING HOLIDAY!!

She begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged to have the HOLIDAY!!!


Occasionally she would ask about possibly remaining married which I RULED OUT.

After a month of this over the phone she asked me what deal would have me remain married "for the kids".

I said that the ONLY way that was going to work was

1. You pay for yourself out of the proceeds as of now. Your fee is EUR1,200 per month. You work or you pay out of your proceeds.

2. I will never ask you to make love.

3. You have no right to ask me for ANYTHING and I have NO OBLIGATIONS TO YOU AT ALL.

4. You will PAY YOUR OWN WAY FOR THE REMAINDER OF YOUR LIFE.

5. You NEVER spend money without my agreement.

If you PROMISE to do all that THEN I will have our holiday and you have the CHANCE to present your case during our holiday. We would spend 6 weeks alone on our holiday to give her a chance to talk.

She thought I would weaken...so on our holiday she would ask when I was going to ask for sex. I told her never again in my life. She didn't believe me...well by about the third week of our holiday she was GOING BALLISTIC as to why I would not pursue her. I told her never, ever, again.

She HATED on me for not pursing her. HATED....ON....ME.

By this time I was totally indifferent to any of her tantrums, lies, tears and other assorted BULLSHIT that a man has to put up with from a woman now days.

Then a funny thing happened. We found we could get the kids Irish citizenship if we stayed on...so it was put to her that if she promised to work and pay for herself I was prepared to support the family for the shot at citizenship.

All through that time? I would go to bed after she went to sleep when at home. I never asked her for sex ever again. She was FURIOUS. I reminded her how cruel and vicious she had been to me all those years and she pretended to be sorry.

I wanted back the woman I married. But I ended up with a HATE FILLED VICIOUS AND CRUEL AND VINDICTIVE SHREW who liked nothing more than provoking me.

In the end she even took to abusing the children in order to provoke me into giving her attention. For example she showed my 12 year old son a movie that was 18+ that included depictions of homosexual anal sex and homosexual fallatio. When I told my fav#1 she did that fav#1 HIT THE ROOF!

She lied to me. She stole money. She blackmailed me. I also believe she was cheating on me. I could not care less because to care was to be provoked. I was staying for the irish citizenship for the kids. It was all attention seeking behaviour. I raised 4 children...I know what children look like when they do not get their way and do not get the discipline they need. They look like my wife. In the end she and the kids got citizenship and I was refused. So I am still working on that.

So I am telling my story to the lads. And they lads are listening. And there is nothing hate filled shrews like you can do to stop it Renata....aside from hold women criminals accountable for their crimes...which you refuse to do.

Saving the lives of young men is important to me. Saving the lives of young men is of absolutely no interest to women.

This has been made clear to those very young men you are so HATE FILLED FOR that you will not speak one word to help me save their lives.

If you are not prepared to SPEAK OUT and SIT ON JURIES to give men the same protection of the law that you demand then YOU ARE A HATE FILLED SHREW TOO.

And if you ask the men around places like this? They will tell you they agree. They will also tell you that they know LOTS of men with a story like mine only those men can not speak out because they will be attacked...just like I am attacked.

The difference with me is that I spend most of my time in non english speaking countries where the women are DECENT PEOPLE.

I was just having a chat in the coffee room with a woman who has two kids. I told her how women in Australia and the UK can KILL A MAN with IMPUNITY. She was so shocked she LAUGHED and said "of course this is a joke, you can not possibly be serious".

THAT is what a DECENT WOMAN LOOKS LIKE. She is SHOCKED at the idea a woman can kill a man with impunity. While you HATE FILLED SHREWS actually CHEER women who KILL MEN WITH IMPUNITY...especially in the murder by proxy of divorce.

[Renata]

PeterAndrewNolan I'm actually not that brave to approach a guy I'll admit to that, it does have to do with the way I grew up; very sheltered & my father is hindu so we grew up in that light. I was also very socially awkward as a teen & only came out of my shell when I started working well into my 20's. I'm definitely not that shy anymore but I just can't approach, it's scary ... maybe if I try it I'll get the hang of it. I'm sorry for all you've gone through it's such a contradiction for a guy like you to have lived like that. What your wife did to you & your kids is just crazy, that's child abuse & corrupting them, she's crazy'.
When you have children you're supposed to walk in the light' ... but in this world it's not always the case.

[OzGuy]

PeterAndrewNolan I'm actually not that brave to approach a guy I'll admit to that, it does have to do with the way I grew up; very sheltered & my father is hindu so we grew up in that light. I was also very socially awkward as a teen & only came out of my shell when I started working well into my 20's. I'm definitely not that shy anymore but I just can't approach, it's scary ... maybe if I try it I'll get the hang of it. I'm sorry for all you've gone through it's such a contradiction for a guy like you to have lived like that. What your wife did to you & your kids is just crazy, that's child abuse & corrupting them, she's crazy'.
When you have children you're supposed to walk in the light' ... but in this world it's not always the case.

Many men are socially awkward as well, however this is UNDESIRABLE to most women. On the other hand, a shy woman is actually MORE desirable to most men.

Socially awkward and shy men have it MUCH harder than women. No woman is interested in a man who is shy and socially awkward, they all want confident men.

If you don't want to approach men then fine, but don't expect any other equals of men. This means you shouldn't work - you should stay home, clean the house, make your partner meals, look after the kids, make sure your partner is happy, etc. You should also be submissive to your partner.

Why do you think you are entitled to cherry pick the benefits that suit you, while leaving out the less desirable responsibilities (eg approaching a man)? This is not true equality. True equality means taking on both the good and bad, not just cherry picking the ones that suit you.

[Renata]

PeterAndrewNolan I'm actually not that brave to approach a guy I'll admit to that, it does have to do with the way I grew up; very sheltered & my father is hindu so we grew up in that light. I was also very socially awkward as a teen & only came out of my shell when I started working well into my 20's. I'm definitely not that shy anymore but I just can't approach, it's scary ... maybe if I try it I'll get the hang of it. I'm sorry for all you've gone through it's such a contradiction for a guy like you to have lived like that. What your wife did to you & your kids is just crazy, that's child abuse & corrupting them, she's crazy'.
When you have children you're supposed to walk in the light' ... but in this world it's not always the case.

Many men are socially awkward as well, however this is UNDESIRABLE to most women. On the other hand, a shy woman is actually MORE desirable to most men.

Socially awkward and shy men have it MUCH harder than women. No woman is interested in a man who is shy and socially awkward, they all want confident men.

If you don't want to approach men then fine, but don't expect any other equals of men. This means you shouldn't work - you should stay home, clean the house, make your partner meals, look after the kids, make sure your partner is happy, etc. You should also be submissive to your partner.

Why do you think you are entitled to cherry pick the benefits that suit you, while leaving out the less desirable responsibilities (eg approaching a man)? This is not true equality. True equality means taking on both the good and bad, not just cherry picking the ones that suit you.

a lot of caribbean women work, cook & take care of the home & the kids too. If you love your family you'll sure as hell cook & clean; this is care'. I've worked in the UK for 2yrs & understood that culture & values play an important role in EVERYTHING. Boarding school' for example, I find that cold & harsh ... we have no such thing back home it's unbelievable & would be most unwelcomed where I'm from. Regardless of what country, there will be the good & bad people.

A few days ago I got a video of a malaysian woman beating an 8 month old baby it was graphic & appalling. That was the video's description; but who knows where she was really from she may be american or even caribbean, as we have asians there too.

my point is you can never know with people, they are like onions, lots of layers.

and OzGuy you say most men prefer SHY women ... how will a shy girl find it in herself to approach you?? .... you see now where it is left up to the guy in some cases.

[shiryu400]

This is a pretty interesting topic. I wanna say that I would actually change my vote because I actually prefer to approach. However, approaching is not fun in America.

See, in the US women have so much power over relationships and also there's so much competition that dating is like gladiator fights at the Colosseum. You have to fight to the death with another man (gladiator) for the entertainment of the woman (Julius Caesar). Then, Caesar can give a thumbs up or a thumbs down and that decides your fate.

If the average man actually had options here, then approaching could be more enjoyable because you could actually CHOOSE. But alas, it is what it is.