Winston's Triple No-Win Situation in Dating: What's the Best Solution?

[yick]

Do you have any logical solution to my triple lose-lose-lose situation in dating? Let me explain.

1. I connect mentally best with white women, especially new age white women and European white women. But white women are very picky about looks and see me as too short for them. They prefer tall athletic white guys. Or sometimes black or Hispanic guys, but never Asian guys unless they are tall and athletic looking.

2. Asian women don't connect with me because I'm not practical and materialistic and not a conformist and I don't believe that the purpose of life is to make money, like they do. They also believe everything society tells them but I don't since I'm a freethinker and freespirit. So that creates a mental gulf between me and Asian women.

3. Asian American women are more westernized and open minded and have a more similar background to me, but they usually prefer white men for dating. So again I lose.

So you see that's a triple lose-lose-lose situation. It's the classic "between a rock and hard place" scenario except in this case I'm between 3 rocks. Lol. Do you have any solution to this? Why does the universe like to put me in no win situations? Is the universe just an asshole to some people?

So far the only solution I see is to date Philippines and SE Asian women who are not so picky and judgmental and more laid back. Another option is to seek European women in their 40s because white women as they get older become less picky about looks and focus more on connection. However, the thing is older women who are still single usually have some issues and hang ups that make them unable to be in stable relationships.

When I was 28 I dated a 35 year old beautiful woman but she was very edgy and unstable and it was like walking on eggshells. Anything I did or said, no matter how nice or well intentioned, could be twisted and used against me. It was toxic like a ticking time bomb. Like the bromance between Trump and Elon Musk, which was a ticking time bomb. Lol. Of course she eventually exploded over trivial things and ended the relationship. It was a pity because she was the most passionate and sensuous lover I've ever had. Maybe because she was a Wiccan. No one else has ever compared. Everything has been downhill since then.

It seems some people are meant to be perpetually single and only allowed to have short term relationships because something always goes wrong with every relationship, even if you do nothing wrong and do everything right.

You seem to be assuming that all women from a vast region are heterogeneously the same. There might be some white woman that likes short Asian guys. I've seen white women with Asian guys that weren't especially tall or athletic. There are a lot of short girls out there who are three inches shorter (the same height with 3-inch heels.)

Southeast Asian women did cross my mind before you got to that point. Of course, I am married to one and you have a child with one. Diane...is that the name of the mother of your child? Did she ever end up with someone? I mean, maybe you didn't feel like you hit it off with her on some kind of intellectual level you were looking for, or whatever. But you have a child together... and would she be willing? You can have someone you get along with okay, that you chit chat with. You don't have to discuss the great mysteries of life with your woman. You can have friends that fill different social needs. If you get along well with your wife, provide for her, she cooks and cleans, you reasonably enjoy each other's company, have sex however often to satisfy each of your urges, etc., that can work out. Were you looking for some kind of idealized Disney romance? Even if you find it, you go through tough times in life, stress, and all that, and you just have to be kind to each other and stick together even if it isn't butterflies in the stomach 24/7.

I think you will find with Winston that he has had more than his share if you compare it to a worldwide average. Like you said, he has had a child with a woman and has had girlfriends in America and Russia as well as the Philippines and has had more girlfriends, romance and sex than me. I can admit that. He probably thinks he should have the varied and deep love life of Brad Pitt or some other kind if film star where he can command the attention of younger beautiful women in his fifties but probably that isn't going to happen for him like it won't for most ordinary men.

I had the chance to get with a beautiful woman here in China. However, the life she wanted and the life I wanted were completely different. I don't want a kid in my fifties for example and the fact was my age bothered her greatly (she was 23) so even though I liked her and she was beautiful, it wasn't hard to walk away from it. The price wasn't worth paying because I like my life and my peace of mind and the ability to make my life choices without any other interference from anyone else.

I am in Beijing now and it is nice to look at pretty young women which this city has a lot of but that is as far as I want it to go from now on. I think Winston is after some 'idealised Disney romance' and at the age of 52 or whatever he is, that would be quite concerning to me.

[yick]

I would like to know @Shemp opinion on Winston's dilemma, should this take up as much space on his mental hard drive at his age as it should?

[Rygar1]

You made a typo. You aren't understanding my question. Age isn't a factor here. Because white girls rejected me when I was 20 too. They always put a cold wall between them and me. In America that is. Even if a white girl has a lot in common with me they still see me as not their type. This was true when I was 20 too. I've explained this a million times. Age may be a factor for you but it never has for me. The triple no win situation I outlined above has always affected me regardless of age.

I don't mind dating women in their 30s and 40s. But even then the triple no win situation above still applies. I've said this a million times already.

That's pretty common even for good looking dudes. It's all a big game. Most women have had so much smoke blown up their collective asses that that's how most of them are 20 plus. It's a byproduct of the whole, everyone- a-winner, empowerment, i-feel-so-fu cking -good -about-myself culture.

More importantly, why do you care so much about this? It's really disconcerting. I could see if you were 20 or 30, but 52? Don't you have other things to worry about at this point in life other than some random bimbos not worthy of you? Put a period and move on.

Exactly.

It gets better with age, or at least it should. You just learn to accept these things. Many stories of how many girls guys have gotten with were exaggerated anyway. Even if they are true, and they have alot of success, who cares? NO ONE. Ask 1000s of people if they care if Winston or rygar or Shemp has been successful or not with women, and I guarantee you not one will. Only your own mind. Really think about that for awhile. It should liberate you.

Although we butted heads a few times, and some people called him a dick(I don't agree) Yick is right that success with girls is a skill. Skills can certainly be acquired, but in my opinion, there is largely an innate ability(or inability) that determines it. Why was I so good at hockey and baseball, almost effortlessly, while other kids, no matter how hard they tried, never got better? Innate ability.

Me, personally? I never really cared. I just don't seem to have an innate, neurobiological hard wiring for serious relationships. I've NEVER had a girlfriend, or even wanted one at 38. Yes 38. Dozens of hookups, some casual sex, but nothing serious. I don't care, I like my freedom. No drama, stress etc.
A part of me may occasionally wonder what it's like to be in love and or to be married, gf, etc, and I certainly get a little jealous from time to time, but it passes quickly, when I realize I can come and go as I choose. I invite you to do the same.

To be free of the thoughts of women and what they think of you is a massive gift that some men are never rid of. Most men in their fifties are married with kids so are never really rid of it because their choices in their youth have decided their lives and if they're married, divorced or whatever, there they are with their life choices and most don't seem particularly happy about it.

To be worrying about women and what they like and the way you look is fine in your twenties and maybe your thirties but by the time you're in your fifties - you start to care about other things or I am for sure, my retirement, fixing up things that will take me into old age such as diet, exercise. I have to fix up my varicose veins on my legs that are going to cost a few thousand dollars and move to another country, where does a woman come into that? It doesn't even come into the top ten of important things to worry about.

I was watching a Swedish documentary about some young influencer worrying about losing his hair - which at that age you do worry about that, it must be pretty traumatic to lose your hair at that age but when you get to your fifties you realise you lose most things in your life - your hair, your teeth, your youthful sheen, your muscle tone (unless you work at it) women look at you less and life slides into old age. I don't suppose you're ever too old to find love and romance but worry about these things? I would be worried about worrying about this thing in my fifties like I was in my twenties, thankfully, I have evolved as a person, like you should do.

I've always thought this, as well, if I'm reading correctly. Most guys in their 20s, in my opinion, really just 'settle'. They're lonely, horny, or both and some girl shows interest and bam! You got a girlfriend, and it makes you feel good. You fu ck her everyday and, well, sometimes they get pregnant, and like next things you know your 22 and a father, and you're life is never the same. It happened to a couple guys I know. I guess they don't care. We have a strong biological urge to mate.

Me personally, I've always been picky. MR MAN has stated this as well. I just seem to have a very narrow range of girls I'm really attracted to. Both looks and personality. I generally like brunettes over blondes, fit, but not too so, and nice legs and butt. Man, do I love asses. It really is the best imo. Big, round, firm, lifted. And smart too. She doesn't have to be a Rhodes scholar, and I would like it if she weren't, but just...curious, deep, philosophical, engaging. I know it when I see it, but it's rare. I guess for alot of guys they'd rather be with a girl who they aren't necessarily crazy about than be alone. Everyone is different.

[yick]

That's pretty common even for good looking dudes. It's all a big game. Most women have had so much smoke blown up their collective asses that that's how most of them are 20 plus. It's a byproduct of the whole, everyone- a-winner, empowerment, i-feel-so-fu cking -good -about-myself culture.

More importantly, why do you care so much about this? It's really disconcerting. I could see if you were 20 or 30, but 52? Don't you have other things to worry about at this point in life other than some random bimbos not worthy of you? Put a period and move on.

Exactly.

It gets better with age, or at least it should. You just learn to accept these things. Many stories of how many girls guys have gotten with were exaggerated anyway. Even if they are true, and they have alot of success, who cares? NO ONE. Ask 1000s of people if they care if Winston or rygar or Shemp has been successful or not with women, and I guarantee you not one will. Only your own mind. Really think about that for awhile. It should liberate you.

Although we butted heads a few times, and some people called him a dick(I don't agree) Yick is right that success with girls is a skill. Skills can certainly be acquired, but in my opinion, there is largely an innate ability(or inability) that determines it. Why was I so good at hockey and baseball, almost effortlessly, while other kids, no matter how hard they tried, never got better? Innate ability.

Me, personally? I never really cared. I just don't seem to have an innate, neurobiological hard wiring for serious relationships. I've NEVER had a girlfriend, or even wanted one at 38. Yes 38. Dozens of hookups, some casual sex, but nothing serious. I don't care, I like my freedom. No drama, stress etc.
A part of me may occasionally wonder what it's like to be in love and or to be married, gf, etc, and I certainly get a little jealous from time to time, but it passes quickly, when I realize I can come and go as I choose. I invite you to do the same.

To be free of the thoughts of women and what they think of you is a massive gift that some men are never rid of. Most men in their fifties are married with kids so are never really rid of it because their choices in their youth have decided their lives and if they're married, divorced or whatever, there they are with their life choices and most don't seem particularly happy about it.

To be worrying about women and what they like and the way you look is fine in your twenties and maybe your thirties but by the time you're in your fifties - you start to care about other things or I am for sure, my retirement, fixing up things that will take me into old age such as diet, exercise. I have to fix up my varicose veins on my legs that are going to cost a few thousand dollars and move to another country, where does a woman come into that? It doesn't even come into the top ten of important things to worry about.

I was watching a Swedish documentary about some young influencer worrying about losing his hair - which at that age you do worry about that, it must be pretty traumatic to lose your hair at that age but when you get to your fifties you realise you lose most things in your life - your hair, your teeth, your youthful sheen, your muscle tone (unless you work at it) women look at you less and life slides into old age. I don't suppose you're ever too old to find love and romance but worry about these things? I would be worried about worrying about this thing in my fifties like I was in my twenties, thankfully, I have evolved as a person, like you should do.

I've always thought this, as well, if I'm reading correctly. Most guys in their 20s, in my opinion, really just 'settle'. They're lonely, horny, or both and some girl shows interest and bam! You got a girlfriend, and it makes you feel good. You fu ck her everyday and, well, sometimes they get pregnant, and like next things you know your 22 and a father, and you're life is never the same. It happened to a couple guys I know. I guess they don't care. We have a strong biological urge to mate.

Me personally, I've always been picky. MR MAN has stated this as well. I just seem to have a very narrow range of girls I'm really attracted to. Both looks and personality. I generally like brunettes over blondes, fit, but not too so, and nice legs and butt. Man, do I love asses. It really is the best imo. Big, round, firm, lifted. And smart too. She doesn't have to be a Rhodes scholar, and I would like it if she weren't, but just...curious, deep, philosophical, engaging. I know it when I see it, but it's rare. I guess for alot of guys they'd rather be with a girl who they aren't necessarily crazy about than be alone. Everyone is different.

There's a 'peak time' for dating and it's in your twenties, the butterflies in stomach, crying over lost loves, the chase etc - when it is all exciting and emotionally draining is in your twenties, when you have the energy for it all, to travel, to do things to win the woman over. Are you meant to be doing all that in your fifties and the answer is no. I don't get 'morning wood' any more in my fifties, I can still get 'hard' but it isn't like when I was in my twenties when I would get a hard on sat on the back of a bus as it would go over a bump in the road. That simply does not happen anymore - men are not meant to be lamenting over getting women in their fifties. The bodyclock is slowing down, you have to change things. I am going to start eating two meals a day from now on (with one of them being a protein shake) because my body cannot handle three meals a day anymore. Well, I suppose it can but I feel sluggish and I am better off eating less food which wasn't the case in my twenties. The fact that I don't get 'morning wood' and am probably a few years away from viagra is my body telling me my days of being the ram are over.

In your twenties, you can do most things to excess, take drugs, stay up all night, f**k loads of women (or men if @my life is trash and @88jose88 are reading) run miles and bench hundreds of pounds from your chest but if you're doing all these things in your fifties you're heading down a destructive path. A man who hasn't given up a cocaine habit by his mid-30's is heading for a stroke or something just as bad. Nothing is forever.

Men do get 'trapped' into marriage in the sense that they want to lock down women, have that security which most men want and if you're f***ing a woman long term and you are 'together' then sooner or later, babies come - that's meant to happen and it even happened to Winston! We are programmed for that but are most men suited to a life of marriage and long term commitment - some are and a lot aren't but they end up there and hating their lives, there are a lot of miserable married people (both men and women) but some go on to do it again and again!

Now I remember Winston having a beautiful Chinese girlfriend when he was here but he didn't marry her - I don't know what he is complaining about, he has had his chances to get what he claims to want but deep down, it isn't what he wants.

[Shemp]

I would like to know @Shemp opinion on Winston's dilemma, should this take up as much space on his mental hard drive at his age as it should?

"Nature abhors a vaccum", as they say, so if nothing else to think about, perfectly normal for men to think about women. But it's also perfectly normal for men past 50 to think more than act, and to want to avoid getting tied down to a woman with marriage or committed relationship. Some older men prefer paid sex because it is less trouble. Based on his past behavior, I think this might be true of Winston. That is, he says he wants love and a permanent relationship, but he never made a big effort to keep women when he was in a relationship. Plus he has mongered, and as they also say, "once a monger, always a monger".

[Prince of Cups]

I would like to know @Shemp opinion on Winston's dilemma, should this take up as much space on his mental hard drive at his age as it should?

"Nature abhors a vaccum", as they say, so if nothing else to think about, perfectly normal for men to think about women. But it's also perfectly normal for men past 50 to think more than act, and to want to avoid getting tied down to a woman with marriage or committed relationship. Some older men prefer paid sex because it is less trouble. Based on his past behavior, I think this might be true of Winston. That is, he says he wants love and a permanent relationship, but he never made a big effort to keep women when he was in a relationship. Plus he has mongered, and as they say, "once a monger, always a monger".

This is totally true. Back where I'm from there are all kinds of mongers. Most infamously was the babbermonger, whose wares just reeked of shit! Everyone kept shouting at him, saying stuff like "Here! f**k off mate! Your f***ing stall stinks of f***ing shit!"

But to address the topic at hand, I don't know enough about Winston to know whether or not he squanders permanent relationships. It's possible that he enjoys his freedom too much and he has too much love for one woman!

[Rygar1]

Exactly.

It gets better with age, or at least it should. You just learn to accept these things. Many stories of how many girls guys have gotten with were exaggerated anyway. Even if they are true, and they have alot of success, who cares? NO ONE. Ask 1000s of people if they care if Winston or rygar or Shemp has been successful or not with women, and I guarantee you not one will. Only your own mind. Really think about that for awhile. It should liberate you.

Although we butted heads a few times, and some people called him a dick(I don't agree) Yick is right that success with girls is a skill. Skills can certainly be acquired, but in my opinion, there is largely an innate ability(or inability) that determines it. Why was I so good at hockey and baseball, almost effortlessly, while other kids, no matter how hard they tried, never got better? Innate ability.

Me, personally? I never really cared. I just don't seem to have an innate, neurobiological hard wiring for serious relationships. I've NEVER had a girlfriend, or even wanted one at 38. Yes 38. Dozens of hookups, some casual sex, but nothing serious. I don't care, I like my freedom. No drama, stress etc.
A part of me may occasionally wonder what it's like to be in love and or to be married, gf, etc, and I certainly get a little jealous from time to time, but it passes quickly, when I realize I can come and go as I choose. I invite you to do the same.

To be free of the thoughts of women and what they think of you is a massive gift that some men are never rid of. Most men in their fifties are married with kids so are never really rid of it because their choices in their youth have decided their lives and if they're married, divorced or whatever, there they are with their life choices and most don't seem particularly happy about it.

To be worrying about women and what they like and the way you look is fine in your twenties and maybe your thirties but by the time you're in your fifties - you start to care about other things or I am for sure, my retirement, fixing up things that will take me into old age such as diet, exercise. I have to fix up my varicose veins on my legs that are going to cost a few thousand dollars and move to another country, where does a woman come into that? It doesn't even come into the top ten of important things to worry about.

I was watching a Swedish documentary about some young influencer worrying about losing his hair - which at that age you do worry about that, it must be pretty traumatic to lose your hair at that age but when you get to your fifties you realise you lose most things in your life - your hair, your teeth, your youthful sheen, your muscle tone (unless you work at it) women look at you less and life slides into old age. I don't suppose you're ever too old to find love and romance but worry about these things? I would be worried about worrying about this thing in my fifties like I was in my twenties, thankfully, I have evolved as a person, like you should do.

I've always thought this, as well, if I'm reading correctly. Most guys in their 20s, in my opinion, really just 'settle'. They're lonely, horny, or both and some girl shows interest and bam! You got a girlfriend, and it makes you feel good. You fu ck her everyday and, well, sometimes they get pregnant, and like next things you know your 22 and a father, and you're life is never the same. It happened to a couple guys I know. I guess they don't care. We have a strong biological urge to mate.

Me personally, I've always been picky. MR MAN has stated this as well. I just seem to have a very narrow range of girls I'm really attracted to. Both looks and personality. I generally like brunettes over blondes, fit, but not too so, and nice legs and butt. Man, do I love asses. It really is the best imo. Big, round, firm, lifted. And smart too. She doesn't have to be a Rhodes scholar, and I would like it if she weren't, but just...curious, deep, philosophical, engaging. I know it when I see it, but it's rare. I guess for alot of guys they'd rather be with a girl who they aren't necessarily crazy about than be alone. Everyone is different.

There's a 'peak time' for dating and it's in your twenties, the butterflies in stomach, crying over lost loves, the chase etc - when it is all exciting and emotionally draining is in your twenties, when you have the energy for it all, to travel, to do things to win the woman over. Are you meant to be doing all that in your fifties and the answer is no. I don't get 'morning wood' any more in my fifties, I can still get 'hard' but it isn't like when I was in my twenties when I would get a hard on sat on the back of a bus as it would go over a bump in the road. That simply does not happen anymore - men are not meant to be lamenting over getting women in their fifties. The bodyclock is slowing down, you have to change things. I am going to start eating two meals a day from now on (with one of them being a protein shake) because my body cannot handle three meals a day anymore. Well, I suppose it can but I feel sluggish and I am better off eating less food which wasn't the case in my twenties. The fact that I don't get 'morning wood' and am probably a few years away from viagra is my body telling me my days of being the ram are over.

In your twenties, you can do most things to excess, take drugs, stay up all night, f**k loads of women (or men if @my life is trash and @88jose88 are reading) run miles and bench hundreds of pounds from your chest but if you're doing all these things in your fifties you're heading down a destructive path. A man who hasn't given up a cocaine habit by his mid-30's is heading for a stroke or something just as bad. Nothing is forever.

Men do get 'trapped' into marriage in the sense that they want to lock down women, have that security which most men want and if you're f***ing a woman long term and you are 'together' then sooner or later, babies come - that's meant to happen and it even happened to Winston! We are programmed for that but are most men suited to a life of marriage and long term commitment - some are and a lot aren't but they end up there and hating their lives, there are a lot of miserable married people (both men and women) but some go on to do it again and again!

Now I remember Winston having a beautiful Chinese girlfriend when he was here but he didn't marry her - I don't know what he is complaining about, he has had his chances to get what he claims to want but deep down, it isn't what he wants.

This may slightly off topic, but it's something I've wanted to get off my chest for awhile now. Even as a very young child, I couldn't help but notice that older guys (by older I mean 40s or 50s) just seemed ...I dunno how to put it....messed up? Very hard to describe, even to this day, but I think I've come closer. Afraid of thier own shadows or something. Mostly family members, some teachers, friends parents, etc. Just like thier souls and spirits have been sucked out of them. Is this a psychological part of aging? Man, I remember thinking many times about my own dad, "this guy is fu cking weird". It seemed somewhat common for middle aged white males of the suburbs as well. Was it always this way? We've all heard the quote, "most men live lives of quiet desperation".

I fear it's coming for me soon.

[yick]

I would like to know @Shemp opinion on Winston's dilemma, should this take up as much space on his mental hard drive at his age as it should?

"Nature abhors a vaccum", as they say, so if nothing else to think about, perfectly normal for men to think about women. But it's also perfectly normal for men past 50 to think more than act, and to want to avoid getting tied down to a woman with marriage or committed relationship. Some older men prefer paid sex because it is less trouble. Based on his past behavior, I think this might be true of Winston. That is, he says he wants love and a permanent relationship, but he never made a big effort to keep women when he was in a relationship. Plus he has mongered, and as they also say, "once a monger, always a monger".

Thanks for the insight, Frank! I agree with you, he has had his chances in quite a few countries but deep down he doesn't want to know. He probably needs to get back to Angeles City to live out the rest of his days, I don't know what his retirement situation is or if he qualifies for social security?

[yick]

It gets better with age, or at least it should. You just learn to accept these things. Many stories of how many girls guys have gotten with were exaggerated anyway. Even if they are true, and they have alot of success, who cares? NO ONE. Ask 1000s of people if they care if Winston or rygar or Shemp has been successful or not with women, and I guarantee you not one will. Only your own mind. Really think about that for awhile. It should liberate you.

Although we butted heads a few times, and some people called him a dick(I don't agree) Yick is right that success with girls is a skill. Skills can certainly be acquired, but in my opinion, there is largely an innate ability(or inability) that determines it. Why was I so good at hockey and baseball, almost effortlessly, while other kids, no matter how hard they tried, never got better? Innate ability.

Me, personally? I never really cared. I just don't seem to have an innate, neurobiological hard wiring for serious relationships. I've NEVER had a girlfriend, or even wanted one at 38. Yes 38. Dozens of hookups, some casual sex, but nothing serious. I don't care, I like my freedom. No drama, stress etc.
A part of me may occasionally wonder what it's like to be in love and or to be married, gf, etc, and I certainly get a little jealous from time to time, but it passes quickly, when I realize I can come and go as I choose. I invite you to do the same.

To be free of the thoughts of women and what they think of you is a massive gift that some men are never rid of. Most men in their fifties are married with kids so are never really rid of it because their choices in their youth have decided their lives and if they're married, divorced or whatever, there they are with their life choices and most don't seem particularly happy about it.

To be worrying about women and what they like and the way you look is fine in your twenties and maybe your thirties but by the time you're in your fifties - you start to care about other things or I am for sure, my retirement, fixing up things that will take me into old age such as diet, exercise. I have to fix up my varicose veins on my legs that are going to cost a few thousand dollars and move to another country, where does a woman come into that? It doesn't even come into the top ten of important things to worry about.

I was watching a Swedish documentary about some young influencer worrying about losing his hair - which at that age you do worry about that, it must be pretty traumatic to lose your hair at that age but when you get to your fifties you realise you lose most things in your life - your hair, your teeth, your youthful sheen, your muscle tone (unless you work at it) women look at you less and life slides into old age. I don't suppose you're ever too old to find love and romance but worry about these things? I would be worried about worrying about this thing in my fifties like I was in my twenties, thankfully, I have evolved as a person, like you should do.

I've always thought this, as well, if I'm reading correctly. Most guys in their 20s, in my opinion, really just 'settle'. They're lonely, horny, or both and some girl shows interest and bam! You got a girlfriend, and it makes you feel good. You fu ck her everyday and, well, sometimes they get pregnant, and like next things you know your 22 and a father, and you're life is never the same. It happened to a couple guys I know. I guess they don't care. We have a strong biological urge to mate.

Me personally, I've always been picky. MR MAN has stated this as well. I just seem to have a very narrow range of girls I'm really attracted to. Both looks and personality. I generally like brunettes over blondes, fit, but not too so, and nice legs and butt. Man, do I love asses. It really is the best imo. Big, round, firm, lifted. And smart too. She doesn't have to be a Rhodes scholar, and I would like it if she weren't, but just...curious, deep, philosophical, engaging. I know it when I see it, but it's rare. I guess for alot of guys they'd rather be with a girl who they aren't necessarily crazy about than be alone. Everyone is different.

There's a 'peak time' for dating and it's in your twenties, the butterflies in stomach, crying over lost loves, the chase etc - when it is all exciting and emotionally draining is in your twenties, when you have the energy for it all, to travel, to do things to win the woman over. Are you meant to be doing all that in your fifties and the answer is no. I don't get 'morning wood' any more in my fifties, I can still get 'hard' but it isn't like when I was in my twenties when I would get a hard on sat on the back of a bus as it would go over a bump in the road. That simply does not happen anymore - men are not meant to be lamenting over getting women in their fifties. The bodyclock is slowing down, you have to change things. I am going to start eating two meals a day from now on (with one of them being a protein shake) because my body cannot handle three meals a day anymore. Well, I suppose it can but I feel sluggish and I am better off eating less food which wasn't the case in my twenties. The fact that I don't get 'morning wood' and am probably a few years away from viagra is my body telling me my days of being the ram are over.

In your twenties, you can do most things to excess, take drugs, stay up all night, f**k loads of women (or men if @my life is trash and @88jose88 are reading) run miles and bench hundreds of pounds from your chest but if you're doing all these things in your fifties you're heading down a destructive path. A man who hasn't given up a cocaine habit by his mid-30's is heading for a stroke or something just as bad. Nothing is forever.

Men do get 'trapped' into marriage in the sense that they want to lock down women, have that security which most men want and if you're f***ing a woman long term and you are 'together' then sooner or later, babies come - that's meant to happen and it even happened to Winston! We are programmed for that but are most men suited to a life of marriage and long term commitment - some are and a lot aren't but they end up there and hating their lives, there are a lot of miserable married people (both men and women) but some go on to do it again and again!

Now I remember Winston having a beautiful Chinese girlfriend when he was here but he didn't marry her - I don't know what he is complaining about, he has had his chances to get what he claims to want but deep down, it isn't what he wants.

This may slightly off topic, but it's something I've wanted to get off my chest for awhile now. Even as a very young child, I couldn't help but notice that older guys (by older I mean 40s or 50s) just seemed ...I dunno how to put it....messed up? Very hard to describe, even to this day, but I think I've come closer. Afraid of thier own shadows or something. Mostly family members, some teachers, friends parents, etc. Just like thier souls and spirits have been sucked out of them. Is this a psychological part of aging? Man, I remember thinking many times about my own dad, "this guy is fu cking weird". It seemed somewhat common for middle aged white males of the suburbs as well. Was it always this way? We've all heard the quote, "most men live lives of quiet desperation".

I fear it's coming for me soon.

Well, they didn't get out.

You have to head towards the sunrise. Stay and stagnate and then that happens, especially if you marry and have kids - escape is practically impossible - not that most men are capable of escaping the system.

Life is hard, no-one comes out of it unscathed but it is soon over, nothing is forever, even we are temporary.

But most people aren't good for getting out of the situation they were born in. The white male of the US suburb is a scared individual which is why they stay. They know deep down there is better but they don't want to take the risk but in life there is no guarantee. It is as simple as that so what you see is what happens to most middle aged men in the first world - the slow, internal death where hope, happiness and ambition are slowly rubbed out. They get fatter, get more depressed, drink more, eat more, take more drugs and things stop working physically - a lot of these type of men are dead long before they take their last breath.

I am just glad its not me.

[vlkmo]

If it's any consolation, tall, good looking white guys struggle with white women, too, though perhaps less so. Yick and I have discussed this at length.

Yeah, some guys are indeed probably meant to be perpetually single, perhaps through no fault of thier own. Attitude can help or hinder. Being in shape def helps. Do you lift? Sometimes the gods of romance and love don't look favorably on you for some reason.

I think men paint the whole half of the population with a broad brush, especially the white ones. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to talk to a woman several states down, but she unfortunately ghosted me because of parents, long distance, who knows what else. It's still consolation that she was initially open to talking in the first place.

[vlkmo]

Do you have any logical solution to my triple lose-lose-lose situation in dating? Let me explain.

1. I connect mentally best with white women, especially new age white women and European white women. But white women are very picky about looks and see me as too short for them. They prefer tall athletic white guys. Or sometimes black or Hispanic guys, but never Asian guys unless they are tall and athletic looking.

2. Asian women don't connect with me because I'm not practical and materialistic and not a conformist and I don't believe that the purpose of life is to make money, like they do. They also believe everything society tells them but I don't since I'm a freethinker and freespirit. So that creates a mental gulf between me and Asian women.

3. Asian American women are more westernized and open minded and have a more similar background to me, but they usually prefer white men for dating. So again I lose.

So you see that's a triple lose-lose-lose situation. It's the classic "between a rock and hard place" scenario except in this case I'm between 3 rocks. Lol. Do you have any solution to this? Why does the universe like to put me in no win situations? Is the universe just an asshole to some people?

So far the only solution I see is to date Philippines and SE Asian women who are not so picky and judgmental and more laid back. Another option is to seek European women in their 40s because white women as they get older become less picky about looks and focus more on connection. However, the thing is older women who are still single usually have some issues and hang ups that make them unable to be in stable relationships.

When I was 28 I dated a 35 year old beautiful woman but she was very edgy and unstable and it was like walking on eggshells. Anything I did or said, no matter how nice or well intentioned, could be twisted and used against me. It was toxic like a ticking time bomb. Like the bromance between Trump and Elon Musk, which was a ticking time bomb. Lol. Of course she eventually exploded over trivial things and ended the relationship. It was a pity because she was the most passionate and sensuous lover I've ever had. Maybe because she was a Wiccan. No one else has ever compared. Everything has been downhill since then.

It seems some people are meant to be perpetually single and only allowed to have short term relationships because something always goes wrong with every relationship, even if you do nothing wrong and do everything right.

You seem to be assuming that all women from a vast region are heterogeneously the same. There might be some white woman that likes short Asian guys. I've seen white women with Asian guys that weren't especially tall or athletic. There are a lot of short girls out there who are three inches shorter (the same height with 3-inch heels.)

Southeast Asian women did cross my mind before you got to that point. Of course, I am married to one and you have a child with one. Diane...is that the name of the mother of your child? Did she ever end up with someone? I mean, maybe you didn't feel like you hit it off with her on some kind of intellectual level you were looking for, or whatever. But you have a child together... and would she be willing? You can have someone you get along with okay, that you chit chat with. You don't have to discuss the great mysteries of life with your woman. You can have friends that fill different social needs. If you get along well with your wife, provide for her, she cooks and cleans, you reasonably enjoy each other's company, have sex however often to satisfy each of your urges, etc., that can work out. Were you looking for some kind of idealized Disney romance? Even if you find it, you go through tough times in life, stress, and all that, and you just have to be kind to each other and stick together even if it isn't butterflies in the stomach 24/7.

Even if there is said woman out there for him, how would he be able to find and build mutual attraction with her in this post-modern digital techno climate? Before the modern dating apps and phones, you can meet a person of the opposite sex and have less competition. Now everybody has to compete globally, and I don't believe especially the shorter or less "attractive" you are on a 1-10 scale, can hack or game the system. It became structurally difficult.

[Rygar1]

If it's any consolation, tall, good looking white guys struggle with white women, too, though perhaps less so. Yick and I have discussed this at length.

Yeah, some guys are indeed probably meant to be perpetually single, perhaps through no fault of thier own. Attitude can help or hinder. Being in shape def helps. Do you lift? Sometimes the gods of romance and love don't look favorably on you for some reason.

I think men paint the whole half of the population with a broad brush, especially the white ones. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to talk to a woman several states down, but she unfortunately ghosted me because of parents, long distance, who knows what else. It's still consolation that she was initially open to talking in the first place.

White girls are easily the most desirable among races. Even for non white men. Their stock is high. They act accordingly. Black girls and Hispanic girls, and Asians girls tend to be less stuck up, but less attractive, so it's a trade off.

What, specifically, did you mean by 'talk'? Over the phone? Online? Text? How long did it last? Most women tend to be flaky.

[my life is trash]

If it's any consolation, tall, good looking white guys struggle with white women, too, though perhaps less so. Yick and I have discussed this at length.

Yeah, some guys are indeed probably meant to be perpetually single, perhaps through no fault of thier own. Attitude can help or hinder. Being in shape def helps. Do you lift? Sometimes the gods of romance and love don't look favorably on you for some reason.

I think men paint the whole half of the population with a broad brush, especially the white ones. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to talk to a woman several states down, but she unfortunately ghosted me because of parents, long distance, who knows what else. It's still consolation that she was initially open to talking in the first place.

White girls are easily the most desirable among races. Even for non white men. Their stock is high. They act accordingly. Black girls and Hispanic girls, and Asians girls tend to be less stuck up, but less attractive, so it's a trade off.

What, specifically, did you mean by 'talk'? Over the phone? Online? Text? How long did it last? Most women tend to be flaky.

Mayowhores are privileged cunts who f**k dogs.

[Rygar1]

If it's any consolation, tall, good looking white guys struggle with white women, too, though perhaps less so. Yick and I have discussed this at length.

Yeah, some guys are indeed probably meant to be perpetually single, perhaps through no fault of thier own. Attitude can help or hinder. Being in shape def helps. Do you lift? Sometimes the gods of romance and love don't look favorably on you for some reason.

I think men paint the whole half of the population with a broad brush, especially the white ones. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to talk to a woman several states down, but she unfortunately ghosted me because of parents, long distance, who knows what else. It's still consolation that she was initially open to talking in the first place.

White girls are easily the most desirable among races. Even for non white men. Their stock is high. They act accordingly. Black girls and Hispanic girls, and Asians girls tend to be less stuck up, but less attractive, so it's a trade off.

What, specifically, did you mean by 'talk'? Over the phone? Online? Text? How long did it last? Most women tend to be flaky.

Mayowhores are privileged cunts who f**k dogs.

At this point in my life, I don't doubt it.

[vlkmo]

If it's any consolation, tall, good looking white guys struggle with white women, too, though perhaps less so. Yick and I have discussed this at length.

Yeah, some guys are indeed probably meant to be perpetually single, perhaps through no fault of thier own. Attitude can help or hinder. Being in shape def helps. Do you lift? Sometimes the gods of romance and love don't look favorably on you for some reason.

I think men paint the whole half of the population with a broad brush, especially the white ones. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to talk to a woman several states down, but she unfortunately ghosted me because of parents, long distance, who knows what else. It's still consolation that she was initially open to talking in the first place.

White girls are easily the most desirable among races. Even for non white men. Their stock is high. They act accordingly. Black girls and Hispanic girls, and Asians girls tend to be less stuck up, but less attractive, so it's a trade off.

What, specifically, did you mean by 'talk'? Over the phone? Online? Text? How long did it last? Most women tend to be flaky.

Text. I'm not going to jump to conclusions for her flaking.