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In US people value their "space" and, if there are seats avail, people will generally respect your personal space and not sit next to you.
In France the subway car can have many open seats, and someone might come sit next to you. He or she is not doing it to be friendly, they're being efficient and considerate of later passengers coming on the metro.
On the train to East Netherlands, guys would sit by the bathroom with bottles of wine and invite girls to come sit with them as they go visit the WC. There's a funny sticker/sign on the window telling people not to throw their wine bottles outside. Unlike the US where the train's window is likely to be sealed, these windows open near the top and I guess some people chuck their empty wine bottles outside.
When I went to New York, by purchasing a 5 day subway ticket I discovered a new hobby. Going to the subway station, getting on a train, sitting right next to someone, turning to them and starting up a conversation. They were horrified to show any signs of being human in such a place. I even joked about it with a police officer how it's funny because I'm not breaking any laws, yet it upsets them as if I had killed their dearest family member.
Another thing I noticed was how an offering of a handshake is reacted to like the commanding of a prison sentence.
lavezzi wrote:When I went to New York, by purchasing a 5 day subway ticket I discovered a new hobby. Going to the subway station, getting on a train, sitting right next to someone, turning to them and starting up a conversation. They were horrified to show any signs of being human in such a place. I even joked about it with a police officer how it's funny because I'm not breaking any laws, yet it upsets them as if I had killed their dearest family member.
Another thing I noticed was how an offering of a handshake is reacted to like the commanding of a prison sentence.
How true! In America your not supposed to talk to strangers. Your supposed to mind your own business when you are out in public. The only way to meet people is either through your friends or bars, nightclubs and parties.
The opposite is true in a lot of countries where it's ok to talk to strangers while you are out in public places like buses, trains, bookstores and grocery stores. In the US, we are a nation of strangers, a lot of people don't even know who their neighbors are!
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
Also, the black people in NYC that stop you on the street, ask for your name, then quickly scribble it with a marker on the back of their shitty rap demo in an attempt to get you to pay money for it. Are Americans really so pathetically afraid of confrontation as to actually succumb to such bullshit? If people are doing it, then some of them must have to be.
If these people tried that in any other country, they'd be laughed at.
Seattle? YUCK! I f***ing hated that place. Nothing but a bunch of pasty-skinned, birkenstock wearing, granola bar eating, Toyota prius driving, left-wing square tight-wads. Went there once for a music conference. I found the atmosphere and vibe of that city to be incredibly depressing and may I say, creepy? It was like my spirit and outgoing social vibe had become suppressed and numbed. Anyone who thinks Seattle is socially outgoing has to be on crack. The anti-social vibe is real, because I literally got sick with a bad fever and chills on my second to last day there from depression due to the social isolation I was feeling. I couldn't wait to get on the plane and return home. The Pacific Northwest in general gives me the heebie-jeebies.
"Women age like milk; Men age like wine." - Tom Leykis
jcris7 wrote:Seattle? YUCK! I f***ing hated that place. Nothing but a bunch of pasty-skinned, birkenstock wearing, granola bar eating, Toyota prius driving, left-wing square tight-wads. Went there once for a music conference. I found the atmosphere and vibe of that city to be incredibly depressing and may I say, creepy? It was like my spirit and outgoing social vibe had become suppressed and numbed. Anyone who thinks Seattle is socially outgoing has to be on crack. The anti-social vibe is real, because I literally got sick with a bad fever and chills on my second to last day there from depression due to the social isolation I was feeling. I couldn't wait to get on the plane and return home. The Pacific Northwest in general gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Winston has said that when he lived in Washington state, he could just feel the anti-social vibe there. I think the pacific northwest maybe the most anti-social place in the US and maybe even in the world!
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
The Seattle Freeze refers to a belief that it is especially difficult to make new friends (particularly for transplants from other cities) in the city of Seattle, Washington. According to KUOW radio, a 2005 Seattle Times article was the oldest reference to the term found.[1][2]
Newcomers to the area have described Seattleites as being standoffish, cold, distant, and not trusting.[3] While in settings such as bars and parties, people from Seattle tend to mainly interact with their particular clique.[4] One author described the aversion to strangers as: "people are very polite but not particularly friendly."[5] In 2008 a peer-reviewed study published in Perspectives on Psychological Science found that among all states, Washington residents ranked 48th in the personality trait extroverted.[6] Some residents dispute the existence of the Seattle Freeze.[7][8] The rapid growth of Amazon[9] and its accompanying influx of largely young, male technology workers may be making the problem worse.[10]
It has been speculated that the origin of the phenomenon stems from the reserved personalities of the city's early Nordic[11] and Japanese immigrants.[12] Other reasons might include the emotional effects of the climate or the region's history of independent-minded pioneers.[12][13][14]
I also did a video comparing the Seattle Freeze to European Warmth.
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
The Seattle Freeze refers to a belief that it is especially difficult to make new friends (particularly for transplants from other cities) in the city of Seattle, Washington. According to KUOW radio, a 2005 Seattle Times article was the oldest reference to the term found.[1][2]
Newcomers to the area have described Seattleites as being standoffish, cold, distant, and not trusting.[3] While in settings such as bars and parties, people from Seattle tend to mainly interact with their particular clique.[4] One author described the aversion to strangers as: "people are very polite but not particularly friendly."[5] In 2008 a peer-reviewed study published in Perspectives on Psychological Science found that among all states, Washington residents ranked 48th in the personality trait extroverted.[6] Some residents dispute the existence of the Seattle Freeze.[7][8] The rapid growth of Amazon[9] and its accompanying influx of largely young, male technology workers may be making the problem worse.[10]
It has been speculated that the origin of the phenomenon stems from the reserved personalities of the city's early Nordic[11] and Japanese immigrants.[12] Other reasons might include the emotional effects of the climate or the region's history of independent-minded pioneers.[12][13][14]
I also did a video comparing the Seattle Freeze to European Warmth.
The Seattle freeze is real. We have a boat not too far from Seattle and I do notice that towns outside Seattle like poulsbo are better. The sailing community tends to be it's own society, so that does help.
This girl is currently living in Seattle and hates it. She said the people are very unfriendly and anti social. She is currently checking out small towns in Washington state and Oregon to relocate to.
Mr Average wrote:I think the problem is that theres really only two types of people who tend to approach and talk to strangers these days. The most common type, salespeople, have caused a great deal of damage to modern society's willingness to interact with others outside their social circles. How many times have you had someone randomly approach you in the street, shopping mall, etc. asking how your day has been, your interests, etc? Then a few minutes in comes the sales pitch... Some are so good at what they do you start to believe they are just actually nice, geniune people wanting to chat. I'm not sure about the rest of you guys but if that happens (rarely these days but when I was younger maybe 3-4 times when I honestly believed they were being sincere) I feel humiliated and upset that I let my guard down and was tricked. No one likes to be humiliated that I think in consequence a lot of people have their guards up 24/7 and are just so paranoid of being tricked again that any stranger showing any sort of friendliness towards you automatically sets off alarm bells.
Yes, humiliation from someone who came to you under a false pretense, intending to do so from the beginning.
Last edited by Adama on May 5th, 2017, 8:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
I blame it on the ravening wolf in sheeps clothing syndrome. That's also why a person must be vetted by mutual friends first. A new person can come in to your clique and start trouble by twisting the truth and telling lies to destroy your friendships. Why? For fun. Because it feels good for them to ruin other people and to turn them against each other, and because they love hurting people. [They think they are God and can destroy whoever they want at any time for any reason, and they glory in their ability to destroy like a god.]
There are people who love spreading gossip. It is these people who learn to come in stealthily. They'll spread terrible rumors and accusations about one friend to another, which will separate that friendship over time. Their goal is simply to delight in the pleasure of destroying relationships and hurting people's feelings. They rejoice to do evil.
Once you figure out that there are many people like this out there, who are just waiting to whisper their words of death to destroy your soul and your pre-existing relationships, you're going to be very diligent when making new friends.
And as soon as you say something real, from the heart, then your new friend will take issue and hate you for merely having that thought which you expressed. Then they'll even plot and plan to destroy you and just wait for the perfect moment to insult you or cause you other vexation or trouble. That's why you can only have small talk and never say anything meaningful. If you say something meaningful, someone is going to get upset and mark you as an enemy simply because you disagree with them. So you can't say anything of substance.
This is the Only website or place I've found where anyone remotely understands what the I'm talking about. This is the only place I feel I actually belong, in this whole stupid country. Everyone else says it's my fault...it's me, "it's my attitude" - that's my favorite one, or...it's just in my head.
It was only after having some experiences in wonderful foreign countries, and talking to some foreigners, and even some older people of different generations here, where I could feel understood and people understood my sentiment.
Winston is right, its not socially acceptable to call it out here, no matter how much 's true. It's like people are totally one track -minded, here. Everything's about attraction and sex here, I've noticed...and Independence. It just gets exhausting if you're used to something else or want anything else, like a basic human connection. Something that you might find in Europe for example.
I find myself often very lonely here. I mean extremely, extremely lonely. Its as if I'm always "in an act" and have often felt that people don't feel real human feelings here.
There's really only one way to think about things here, when you go out. To fit into the general culture, you have to give a nod to the general place you're at. That's just how it is...you can't want what you want. You just have to accept what USA is, and give a nod to the "culture" here while you are here.
