Dianne is NOT a bar girl! Anyone who says that is BANNED!

[Dragon]

Jesus Christ. Why can't you guys find normal girls? Why even consider dating/marrying someone from a bar, even if they're "new"? This is why most people regard you guys as western creepers/sexpats. Go to shopping malls and others places in the Philippines and just approach all the women there you find attractive, including the employees working there.

Randomly harassing chicks is much more creepy and socially destructive than approaching them in bars.

No offense but it sounds like you haven't approached too many women. What you said is pretty much feminist propaganda. How is walking up to girls and starting conversations creepy? I don't want praise Winston but, of all his personality flaws, the one thing he does right is having the balls to just approach women for conversation. The truth is if you are a decent value guy with charm, women would love being approached by you and you can have decent success. That means you can't be fat, dress poorly, have bad posture, and give off creeper vibes.

[Cornfed]

No offense but it sounds like you haven't approached too many women. What you said is pretty much feminist propaganda.

Bullshit. I approach women at parties and bars where they expect to be approached.

How is walking up to girls and starting conversations creepy?

Because if you do so with the unstated intent of getting sex, then after enough such approaches these women think that all men approaching them are just pulling some cynical scam to get sex. There are various obvious and non-obvious downsides to society from this. I could go on all day about this, but just think, what if I were talking to a customer service lady where I wanted, you know, customer service, as opposed to f***ing her? Would this tend to improve my level of customer service, assuming she didn't want to f**k me, or not so much?

[Dragon]

No offense but it sounds like you haven't approached too many women. What you said is pretty much feminist propaganda.

Bullshit. I approach women at parties and bars where they expect to be approached.

How is walking up to girls and starting conversations creepy?

Because if you do so with the unstated intent of getting sex, then after enough such approaches these women think that all men approaching them are just pulling some cynical scam to get sex. There are various obvious and non-obvious downsides to society from this. I could go on all day about this, but just think, what if I were talking to a customer service lady where I wanted, you know, customer service, as opposed to f***ing her? Would this tend to improve my level of customer service, assuming she didn't want to f**k me, or not so much?

That might be true, but I don't get what that has to do with approaching women and getting laid/starting relationships. You're trying to have fun and fulfill your needs, not save civilization. Besides, women don't really get approached in SE Asia. For the bold, there are rewards.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mmpZFTt_Ak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBQayNVsFWE

[droid]

the one thing he does right is having the balls to just approach women for conversation. The truth is if you are a decent value guy with charm, women would love being approached by you and you can have decent success.

This makes sense dragon. And an approach is not necessarily "for sex" as PUAs do it. I mean, we all want sex eventually of course, but some of us want the romance part etc as well. Normal women also want to meet someone. I would argue, if it feels somewhat natural it's really not an "approach".

Bullshit. I approach women at parties and bars where they expect to be approached.

That's precisely western decadence conditioning.
If you're not vermin then there's no harm in wanting to meet someone in a normal situation.The only reason western skanks get approach-saturated is because there's too many left over thirsty chumps as we've discussed in other threads.

[Yohan]

Jesus Christ. Why can't you guys find normal girls? Why even consider dating/marrying someone from a bar, even if they're "new"? This is why most people regard you guys as western creepers/sexpats. Go to shopping malls and others places in the Philippines and just approach all the women there you find attractive, including the employees working there.

I would be careful and cannot recommend to do this. Such actions could be quite misunderstood and seen as molesting women. If you met the wrong woman with the wrong men nearby - not necessarily related to her - in a shopping mall in Philippines, this might cost you extra tips if you want to get away from such accusations before guards and police let you go.

Keep in mind you are not everywhere welcome as a foreigner.

You also might find yourself in the hospital if she is together with some of her boyfriends...

Most women have boyfriends anyway, and the number of good women available is very small also in Philippines as many will marry while still young, and in case she is still single do you recommend to line up as her favorite number 8 or so?

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That's really different if you enjoy regular nightlife. In a bar you are safe as the customer. No woman can accuse you for approaching her. However I am not drinking any alcohol, and I do not like this loud disco music and dark rooms. So where to go? How to initiate the first contact? With who? What to say to her? etc. etc. - It's like a lottery game. Nobody could give me a clear answer yet to this question.

I often asked men when I was still young and not experienced to give me some advice to help me and to teach me how to approach women - but so far this always was the turning point - all those so-called friends were getting evasive, conversation about women quickly finished.

For me personally, I advice to look for introduction - very popular in Asia - to be in a group with some people who know you and her already. The problem is however such an approach takes a lot of time.

[Yohan]

If you're not vermin then there's no harm in wanting to meet someone in a normal situation.

Can you define what means a 'normal situation' for you?

About vermin etc., it has nothing to do how you are - but it has everything to do what the other person is thinking about you, even if you have honest intention. Some women are very quick in accusing men, others like to make fun out of you, considering you as a target of scorn.

For this reason, as you cannot predict the result of a 'normal situation', I would never approach a woman while studying in the same school with her, while working in the same company, while living next to her home etc. etc. - I had enough plenty of bad experiences/accusations/scorn with women in my life while still living in Europe.

So - again my question - what is a 'normal situation' for you?

[Yohan]

.... women don't really get approached in SE Asia. For the bold, there are rewards

Is it so?

Please keep in mind, the majority of women in SE Asia are Muslim, Indonesia has far over 200 million people. I do not expect any reward if approaching them, more the opposite.

I am not a Muslim and religion plays a major part in SE Asia.

Other SE-Asian women, like the Thai, are approached all the time by local men and foreigners.

[droid]

What's with all the jadedness Yohan? you seem pretty traumatized still, i thought all the years in saner japan had a healing effect.
I'd say you and cornfed are a bit out to lunch. I'm more convinced everyday it's actually the retarded bar-scene that's becoming a no-go zone, where you're actually expected not to bother cliquish, attention whoring cunts and their 'sets'.

Let's remember, we're talking of a global scope, not just western environments, so throw all traumas aside (i myself still have to completely do that).

Situation 1:
Dance class, lock eyes with this colombian lady, talk about the experience. Next time around, repeat, ask for number. i say "i want to get to know you", texting later on.

Situation 2:
Politely talk to this hotel desk colombian lady about the new city etc, she has a nice vibe, responds well, soft-spoken. Next day ask her out, says yes but "must be discreet" and/but out of time. Next day when checking out, hand her over number in paper. She texts a few hours later.

Situation 3:
Walking in china electronic trade fair.
Chicks approach and say "you're beautiful, can we take a picture with you?" lol (still too west-traumatized to ask them for number)

Situation 4:
Breakfast waiter at shangri-la hotel, great vibe, asks what i'm doing in china etc, let's me ask her about her job, etc, gravitates towards me.
next day same drill, agree on having a date on friday.

Situation 5:
Japan airlines, ridiculously gorgeous flight attendant approaches with drinks.
Say hello, "it's my first time in japan", can't contain myself, saying "you are SOOO beautiful" while pointing with hand, "Ohhh thank you! where do you come from?" etc. Meanwhile, japanese executives are oblivious of all flight attendants...

I have some others, as well as failures of course.
Interestingly, the failures have been worse at bars, and those are the ones in which i've actually been made to feel like "vermin" Lol.

Note that I'm NOT claiming to be a PUA, and i didn't "bang" any of those women, but the point is clear that you can meet some decent woman outside of %$#^ bars and parties. Especially outside the west of course.

[droid]

.... women don't really get approached in SE Asia. For the bold, there are rewards

Is it so?
Please keep in mind, the majority of women in SE Asia are Muslim, Indonesia has far over 200 million people. I do not expect any reward if approaching them, more the opposite.
I am not a Muslim and religion plays a major part in SE Asia.
Other SE-Asian women, like the Thai, are approached all the time by local men and foreigners.

Ohh com'on, it's obvious most of us are not going to Indonesia. Don't use that diversion.

@ Dragon
Good point.
See situation#5 on my post above (although that's NEA).
You don't even have to be that "bold" in SEA, they are generally down to earth so you can just have a normal conversation.

@ yohan
If I can ask, how/where did you meet your wife?

[Dragon]

.... women don't really get approached in SE Asia. For the bold, there are rewards

Is it so?
Please keep in mind, the majority of women in SE Asia are Muslim, Indonesia has far over 200 million people. I do not expect any reward if approaching them, more the opposite.
I am not a Muslim and religion plays a major part in SE Asia.
Other SE-Asian women, like the Thai, are approached all the time by local men and foreigners.

Ohh com'on, it's obvious most of us are not going to Indonesia. Don't use that diversion.

@ Dragon
Good point.
See situation#5 on my post above (although that's NEA).
You don't even have to be that "bold" in SEA, they are generally down to earth so you can just have a normal conversation.

@ yohan
If I can ask, how/where did you meet your wife?

Yeah stay away from Muslim places. The women are more unattractive and things are more restrictive.

[GoingAwol]

Wait.... Let me get this straight...
So some of you guys are onboard with international dating but are against cold approaching? That doesn't make any sense..I thought the whole draw of this "happier abroad" stuff was the fact that women in other countries are friendlier and easier to talk to. So why would a guy fly around the world to go to another country and just approach women in bars/clubs? Personally I'm not interested in women that make it a habit to go to clubs... So why would that change if I went overseas? Plus you have to remember that when you are in a foreign country you probably don't have social connections so you would have to cold approach. I think some of you guys have a screw loose if you think its a good idea to go overseas to only approach women at clubs. But that's just my opinion...

[drealm]

I agree with Cornfed's concern, though I am also unsure what the alternatives are. If you don't have a network of friends in a foreign country and don't want to rely on matchmaking organizations then your only choice is to talk to women directly. This is the exact problem I faced when I last went to Mexico. I don't think it's ideal to talk to women directly, but if you're doing it with the courtship intentions then I think it's not as bad.

[GoingAwol]

Cornfed,
So talking to women is "douchebaggery"? Again, I thought meeting women was the whole point of this movement. And I thought the fact that other countries have less effed up social dynamics was the incentive for men to spend money to go to these places. Why should I spend all of that money if I'm going to be limiting myself to women I meet at clubs or through social circles? How would that be any different than what I get here in the U.S? If these women view men who cold approach them as creeps how are they any more friendly than American women?

[GoingAwol]

I just want to make something clear... I have nothing against the concept of meeting a woman through social connections. Having said that, I think depending on meeting a woman that way is stupid. Here's why.... Suppose I commit to meeting a woman through social connections. What if I don't meet women I like? What if I don't meet women that like me? Should I just suffer when there's a whole world full of women that I could be attracted to and compatible with? If your answer is yes you have the same line of thinking that makes that makes the American social and dating scene as messed up as it is.

[Banano]

My understanding is that as a tourist you might be forgiven for cold approaching women in broad daylight but when I think about it i cant remember seeing local guys cold approaching random girls in big cities like bkk,saigon, jakkarta and other places ive been to.

Do russians in moscow or st petersburg just chat up random girls in the street or do they meet thru social circles, family,work etc?

Better quality women with some status are not going to be easy to pick up using this strategy, mostly girls with low status who got nothing to lose(online girls, poor, jobless, single mums) are open to complete strangers, plenty of those in filipines