I'm going to Sweden, Germany, and France soon

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

1. if i can get away with it, i will just wear t-shirts, jeans, and nice shoes at bars and clubs. basically, i want to dress up as little as possible. is there a mandatory dress code at bars and clubs?

PM newlifeinthephilippines and hammanta for tips on this. Lol. But seriously, a little effort will go a long way. A nice shirt and pants once in a while wouldn't hurt. Besides, it's gonna get cold pretty soon, I don't see the t-shirts working then.
As far as meeting people, it'd be nice if you enroll in some actual activities/classes, although this would seem difficult to fit in the schedule you presented.

Good luck!

NewLifeInPhilippines is too jaded to go to for information. Did you seriously just post that?

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

thanks for the responses. i've been doing some research about paris and have a few questions about it.

here are some quotes from the wikitravel page for paris:

"Paris has, in some respects, an atmosphere closer to that of New York than to that of a European city; which is to say, hurried, and businesslike. Parisians have, among the French too, a reputation for being rude and arrogant. Some of their reputation for brusqueness may stem from the fact that they are constantly surrounded by tourists, who can sometimes themselves seem rude and demanding. Remember that most people you'll encounter in the street are not from the tourism industry and are probably on their way to or from work or business."

1. i'm not sure if i should go to paris anymore (i'm only visiting cities that i might realistically want to live in). is living in paris really just like living in New York?

2. do you guys think paris is worth living in?

3. i'm for sure going to lyon. but maybe i should just skip paris and just go to toulouse and lyon?

4. another concern is that toulouse and lyon is so much smaller than paris. i'm not sure i could live in such small cities. at least in the US, i get rejected by a bunch of girls so i'm used to approaching a shitload of them. when i was living in a small college city (in the US), i would constantly see the same girls i got rejected by over and over. this might not be a problem in france, but that's kind of the situation i'm used to.

"Work in Paris, especially for non-EEA/Swiss citizens, entails a very long and arduous process. Unless you possess one of a number of in-demand skills, it will almost certainly be necessary to obtain a job offer from a French employer before arriving. Your employer, for their part, will have to have the offer approved by the relevant governmental authorities, as well. If you opt for unreported work, such as babysitting, you need not fret about going through the process to obtain a Carte de séjour, ie a formal visitor's identity card. However, if you do choose a change in location, it is advisable to obtain a Carte de séjour prior to finding any job whatsoever, as the process can be longer than expected. Note however that a Carte de séjour is often necessary to open a bank account and the like, and by extension for accomplishing any number of other tasks involved in modern life, so unless you're very comfortable transacting everything in cash you should probably bite the bullet and keep things on the up-and-up."

5. is it hard to get a job in paris? i'm a smart guy, but i don't have any special skills. and i know that the french are famous for being lazy and having red tape, so i'm kind of skeptical about parisians being willing to go through the process of getting me a work visa. basically, i'm skeptical about my ability to get a job in france, but especially in paris.

You better speak French coldly. Not Quebecois French, which is a mutated version of Euro-French, but learn French coldly. They loathe people whom cannot speak their language there in Paris from what I've researched.

[International Love]

ok, thanks for the responses. i'm going on my flight in about 8.5 hours. i've got a few more questions:

1. people often talk about how france and particularly paris have a lot of red tape and lazy people. do you think this holds true outside of paris? basically i'm just worried about how likely employers in toulouse and lyon would be to get me a work permit or whether they wouldn't even try, because it's too much effort for them.
2. i've heard various things about scandinavia being a very conformist area, although i've only heard vague descriptions about it. i'm definitely a non-conformist. do you guys have any experiences with sweden and conformity? please explain in detail, as being a non-conformist is a huge part of my personality.
3. let's say hypothetically that while on vacation i get inspired to just stay in europe and email my boss in the usa and tell him that i quit. you think $25,000 usd would hold me over until i can get a job? or would it be wiser to just come back to the usa, sell my condo, get about $70,000 back in equity, look for european jobs online, quit my job, and then go back to europe?
4. if i happen to find a job abroad while i'm on vacation, i guess i'll just stay in europe. you think i could arrange something where my mom acts as my agent and sells my condo for me in the usa?


my gameplan for now is that if i don't happen to spontaneously find a job while on vacation, then if i find a city i like, i will sign up at an employment office abroad and have them send me information when i get back to the usa. and then i could do phone or skype interviews while in the usa. of course, all this depends on how much i like the places i visit in europe.

thanks

You shouldn't ever sell your place. Mine is rented out. You shouldn't come over here without a job lined up or not legally. Europe has become very strict on legal immigration and if you're here without a work visa and a job you will get caught and be in trouble.

If you have a good job I wouldn't quit it. What are you even looking for a wife or just adventure? What is it you want?

i just want the total package - a different lifestyle. i do not get along with people that well in the U.S., because i am a nonconformist. i want, in order of importance.
1. girls
2. friends
3. better atmosphere (a better feeling - i do not have a better way of describing it)
4. no more pc bullshit society.

btw, i stopped over in the uk and was asking the border visa officer some questions. she said that it is illegal for an american to come over to the EU to look for a job. she also said that you can legally come over as an american if you already have a job in the EU and a work visa. apparently, i pissed her off with my questions. those bloody brits!

i did not get a chance to ask her if it was legal for me to sign up at an employment office in the EU while on vacation and have them send me job info. do you think that would be illegal?

[aozora13]

@International Love

The woman you are speaking too is a Visa Officer in the UK, right? She is an idiot. You can 'work' in the EU legally in countries that certain job search visas and/or start a business in some countries. An example is Austria, Denmark. Both have programs for jobs. You will have to meet the criteria and you do need to get a job that will give you a contract and salary which is higher than the average person but you can go legally into the EU in some countries to find work.

To be honest, beyond a hub at Heathrow do not try to work in the UK! Also, I know even in Germany you can find legal work or if you are talented, you can become a freelancer (freiberufer). It depends on your talents. I worked in Austria and although EU has similar things as the US it still has culture which America unfortunately does not. You will just have to go to Germany (which seems better than overpriced Sweden and rude France). I think if you are outside of the capital as Stockholm (Sweden) and Paris (France) you can find a decent women.

Living in Europe is expensive but you can find a decent living with other forms of income then it will be okay.

[eurobrat]

i just want the total package - a different lifestyle. i do not get along with people that well in the U.S., because i am a nonconformist. i want, in order of importance.

1. girls
2. friends
3. better atmosphere (a better feeling - i do not have a better way of describing it)
4. no more pc bullshit society.

btw, i stopped over in the uk and was asking the border visa officer some questions. she said that it is illegal for an american to come over to the EU to look for a job. she also said that you can legally come over as an american if you already have a job in the EU and a work visa. apparently, i pissed her off with my questions. those bloody brits!

i did not get a chance to ask her if it was legal for me to sign up at an employment office in the EU while on vacation and have them send me job info. do you think that would be illegal?

Why the hell would you go to the government employment office for a job? I wouldn't use one of those anywhere and especially not over here.

[International Love]

i am not trying to move to the uk. i was only there due to an interconnecting flight. also, eurobrat, i was confused by your post where you said,

“You should not come over here without a job lined up or not legally. Europe has become very strict on legal immigration and if you are here without a work visa and a job you will get caught and be in trouble.â€￾

previously, on winstons podcast, you made a big deal about not trying to get a job first and just going to europe and figuring it out there. now, you mentioned something about getting in legal trouble if you go to europe without a work visa, so i decided to ask the uk visa person to clear up the issue, although now, i am more confused.

so here are some questions this brought up for me

1. so basically is the situation that i can come to the EU to LOOK for work, but i should not tell that to customs?
2. but if i do get a job in europe, i just need to make sure that i get a work permit, and i will be fine?
3. so if i do get a work permit, once i fly into the EU, should it be fine to tell customs officers that i am going to the EU to work?
4. so it would be ok for me to sign up at an employment agency in certain EU cities to have them send me job info?

thanks

[eurobrat]

[International Love]

by the way, i know i am typing strangely, but that is because i am using a swedish keyboard, and the apostrophe key is not where i am used to it being, so i have not been using contractions.

thanks for clarifying, eurobrat.

by the way, you are not allowed to work for the EU government jobs if you are not a citizen.

aozora13, thanks for the comments. yeah, i kind of think that customs worker was kind of dumb and did not really want to help me out. although i did bother her with questions, she did not have to be so rude, either.

and you are right, sweden is overpriced. i bought some shitty fish and potato meal that was 169 crowns, so that is about 24 dollars. i did not even finish it, because it had like 5x more salt than was necessary.

i do not have plans to go to paris anymore. in fact, i did go to paris once when i was 15, and i remember not liking the city, although nobody was there, as all the french were on vacation. i just did not like the vibe of the town. i do not know if i am overthinking it or not.

i think you are right about germany. for some reason i had a good feeling about germany.

honestly, i just got into gothenburg, but i do not feel like women have been giving me more attention than in the US. i paid for two nights at the gothenburg hotel, but i am strongly considering trying to get a refund for tomorrows payment, if possible, and heading for stockholm.

i talked to some swedish girls at a bar, but i really had to force myself to talk to them, because everyone at the bars there are in groups, and i hate approaching groups. the girls were very nice, but the cute one has a boyfriend, and i think her friend liked me, but i was not attracted to her. i talked to their group for about an hour, but then conversation was starting to fizzle, and i left. ‘

on the street, i saw some cute girl. she asked me how i was doing, and i said that i was good. she indicated that i should come with her and her friends. she wrapped her arm around mine. she asked me if i wanted sex. i was like, “what?â€￾ she said, “do you want to have sex?â€￾ i said, “but i do not even know you.â€￾ she said, “do you want sex?â€￾ i asked, "are you a prostitute?â€￾ she said that she was and that she was offering sex for money. and i just said, “no, i do not do that.â€￾ she walked away. funny story.

[International Love]

lol, i wrote, “are you a proztitute?â€￾ and it autocorrected to “are you a hoe?"

[Seeker]

If anything a place like Sweden would be more difficult than the US, because you're competing against taller, somewhat better looking guys while you don't speak the language and have no social circle. I have heard of some black guys doing well there but they probably exemplified certain stereotypes.

If you aren't attractive to American women, especially to the point of being incel then Western Europe would probably be even more difficult, considerably more so in the Germanic countries. You don't get a leg up there just for being an American. I would go so far to say that there are no genuinely "good" places in Europe for Asian men in general, just less bad places. Russia or elsewhere in the FSU would have been a better choice, if you've got the stomach for it.

[International Love]

damn, you might be right. i hope not, but we will see.

i just walked around the bars in stockholm, sweden. i did not do well. it is an area called stureplan. i saw 2 girls waiting on the street, as i was leaving for the bars around 10:30pm, and i saw them again as i was returning at 12:30am. they were both on their phones. i asked them one of them if they were alright. she just ignored me, and her friend motioned with her hand, as if to say, "run along." damn, that was pretty shitty.

also, i do not feel that the chicks in sweden are so hot. they just are not as obese as americans, but beyond that, i do not think that they are inherently "hotter" than americans. there are a lot of chubby, but not fat girls. there are burger kings and mcdonalds everywhere here.

[International Love]

"You shouldn't come over here without a job lined up or not legally. Europe has become very strict on legal immigration and if you're here without a work visa and a job you will get caught and be in trouble."

eurobrat, i am curious as to why you originally said on winstons podcast that you should just go to germany without a job, and now you mentioned that you should get a job before you go to germany. did something make you change your mind?

thanks

[International Love]

so i mentioned that i did not do well tonight at the bars, but i did not mention what happened during the day.

i walked around at the central station mall and on the streets. like yesterday, i attracted about the same amount of attention from girls here as in the US.

after spending all that time on the street and mall, i spent about 2.5 hours trying to get to a hotel. as i got off the bus, i asked a girl if she could help me find the hotel. she was pretty nice and looked up the hotel on her iphone. i noticed that she had a bag with english on it, and i asked her about it, and it gradually came up that i live in the US of GAY. i asked her if she lived in sweden. she said, "yes, unfortunately." i asked her why. she said that people in sweden are scared of strangers. she also said that people in stockholm are "posh" or stuck up, which is something that those nice girls at the gothenburg bar had actually told me yesterday. she said that the people in stockholm are materialistic, not in the sense of wanting money, but in terms of being interested in status. she said that berlin was the best city in europe. she said that it is good for clubbing. i think she said that she lived in berlin, amsterdam, and barcelona. she said that people in barcelona were really chill. i mentioned that i heard that it is hard for people to make friends with the dutch and she agreed. i asked her about the Hague, but she never lived there, so she could not tell me anything.

anyways, after wasting 2.5 f***ing hours, i finally found the damn hotel, and no employees were even there, so i paid for a cab to bring me to central station, so i could travel somewhere overnight, but nobody was at the information booth. so i got some uber expensive hotel and then hit up the bars.

[eurobrat]

"You shouldn't come over here without a job lined up or not legally. Europe has become very strict on legal immigration and if you're here without a work visa and a job you will get caught and be in trouble."

eurobrat, i am curious as to why you originally said on winstons podcast that you should just go to germany without a job, and now you mentioned that you should get a job before you go to germany. did something make you change your mind?

thanks

Yes if you're already in Europe with a visa or here legally, Germany is your best bet at entry level jobs. I said to you that you shouldn't just leave your job in the US because it's not as easy to find the equivalent here. The economy here in Europe isn't bad but it's not great it's somewhere along the lines of fragile.

[International Love]

i got to walk around sweden for most of wednesday. on retrospect, i actually think american girls might be hotter than swedes. yeah, there is a little bit less obesity in sweden, but i do not find swedes that attractive. although i am not really that interested in blondes.

honestly, my failure in sweden has caused serious doubts in my mind about moving abroad.

i just got to cologne, germany, yesterday. unfortunately, i have an allergic reaction on my face. i think something in the train caused it. there was no ac for 5 hours on the train. my face is red and swollen. i think i am too self conscious to go talk to chicks at bars until it clears up. i saw a german doctor and got some medicine.

i think i will only go to berlin, if i have a good experience with the chicks in cologne.

i think the girls in cologne are very good looking.

eurobrat, i think you said on the podcast that berlin is a unique city that is unlike other german cities. is that correct?