Young westerner in China forced to buy crappy apartment

[Adama]

I don't expect anyone to care about my dream. Just like his dream isn't my dream. To each his own. I'm just not impressed with his.

[yick]

I don't expect anyone to care about my dream. Just like his dream isn't my dream. To each his own. I'm just not impressed with his.

So what? His dream might be crap but at least he is putting the wheels into motion. And you?

Have you actually been abroad yet - as in lived out somewhere? It's great being a critic of others if you have actually done it yourself and can bring real life experiences to the table.

[Adama]

I don't expect anyone to care about my dream. Just like his dream isn't my dream. To each his own. I'm just not impressed with his.

So what? His dream might be crap but at least he is putting the wheels into motion. And you?

Have you actually been abroad yet - as in lived out somewhere? It's great being a critic of others if you have actually done it yourself and can bring real life experiences to the table.

You're apparently one of those people that seeks conflict rather than peace. I don't feel sorry for you one bit. This is a forum where men can express opinions. I've expressed that I am not impressed with his life as it is not aligned with my heart and now you're offended somehow and looking to start arguments? Go on your way in peace. Let me have my opinion and you can have yours.

[yick]

I don't expect anyone to care about my dream. Just like his dream isn't my dream. To each his own. I'm just not impressed with his.

So what? His dream might be crap but at least he is putting the wheels into motion. And you?

Have you actually been abroad yet - as in lived out somewhere? It's great being a critic of others if you have actually done it yourself and can bring real life experiences to the table.

You're apparently one of those people that seeks conflict rather than peace. I don't feel sorry for you one bit. This is a forum where men can express opinions. I've expressed that I am not impressed with his life as it is not aligned with my heart and now you're offended somehow and looking to start arguments? Go on your way in peace. Let me have my opinion and you can have yours.

Look fella, you need to realise that what you think isn't important - it's important to you of course but important to no-one else. Secondly, he is doing something you aren't doing - I look forward to the day you can tell us about your time in 'xyz' but like Tsar, JamesBond and all the others who seem to grasp at mediocrity of a safe environment of home (wherever that is) I think that is a long time coming, if ever.

The only peace worth having is the one that exists inside your head, go and find yours and be happy for anyone who has found theirs, even if they have a little moan from time to time.

[Adama]

[
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne ... n-cry.html

According to the new law, residential property is no longer to be regarded as jointly owned and divided equally in the event of a divorce.
Instead, whoever paid for the apartment or house is the legal owner and gets to keep it in its entirety.

It is true that the Chinese property law changed a few years ago, however this definition is not exactly correct. It's a bit more complicated.

Nowadays the Chinese property law is quite similar to those in Thailand. It is gender-neutral.

It says about the following:

The person, who is buying a property, like a house or condominium for own use as residence and registers it FULLY PAID in own name only in the land-title before marriage will be the owner after divorce.

Please note, if the property is not fully paid, women are often clever to lure the fiance/husband and even his parents into a small additional loan signed also by her, and after divorce she claims she contributed to create this property and gets away with 50 percent even if she was only housewife and never worked a single day and never paid a single Yuan or Baht into it.

Do you mean even Chinese women are prone to gold digging and they can be nefarious enough to plan it out ahead of time? It must suck for those men who it has happened to. I wonder how many of them proceed to go on to become Chinese MGTOW. And if that happens to a western expatriate, that would suck running into the very thing they tried to run away from. But from posts I've read on the internet, many men who go to Thailand encounter similar things as this.

The location may improve a man's odds, but the man himself needs to have wisdom. Otherwise things will happen to him based upon randomness and luck.

[Adama]

Bride prices aren't that uncommon. It makes sense, especially if the wife is appreciative and serves her husband well afterwards. The bride price helps the husband realize his wife is valuable.

Bride price? Actually I like it better when the father of the bride gives the groom money. Her parents pay for the wedding, if there is one, for example. Women are the ones who especially need to value their husbands.

You see people running off to the other side of the world, and this is what they encounter: Got to buy a precious resource just to get a woman, otherwise she won't go with you. And somehow this is better than the West? This is basically just a wallet biopsy by alternate means. But it is still IN YOUR FACE.

Yohan says that even some of these women plot to steal the house from under the man. Don't women in the West do the same?

This is interesting when you think about it.

At least with a western woman, chances are good she will contribute something of worth financially. A western man might purchase a house with his wife, rather than the wife expecting him to have one even to consider getting married to him. And if he lost half of it, as least he wasn't the one who paid all of it.

[MrMan]

Adama,

Some of God's commands for Israel include requirements related to the bride price for virgins, so it must not be a bad thing.

A woman buying a man to be her husband is more messed up, IMO. I've got some in-laws married into a matrilineal culture like that.

[Teal Lantern]

...
If you marry a Chinese woman, buying a place is important,...

More than a little bit.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_G4S8Kws8o[/youtube]

You see people running off to the other side of the world, and this is what they encounter: Got to buy a precious resource just to get a woman, otherwise she won't go with you. And somehow this is better than the West? This is basically just a wallet biopsy by alternate means. But it is still IN YOUR FACE.

Maybe the more evident snark in the West makes the difference.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrLequ6dUdM[/youtube]
p.s. What non-"scrubs" get for their trouble...
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSJxO9NQ9kw[/youtube]

[Adama]

Adama,

Some of God's commands for Israel include requirements related to the bride price for virgins, so it must not be a bad thing.

A woman buying a man to be her husband is more messed up, IMO. I've got some in-laws married into a matrilineal culture like that.

Citation?

All I see is, if a man entices a virgin and sleeps with her before marriage, only then must he pay to her father 50 pieces of silver. In other words, if he had done things the proper way and married her and then slept with her, then he would not have to pay her anything.

I don't see it anywhere where the man has to pay the bride price in order to marry a woman. It's only if he takes her virginity before marriage. Then he must both pay the father and take her as his wife for the rest of his life. That is not a purchase but seems to be more like a penalty. In other words, discouraging men from enticing virgins into bed.

[Zambales]

You see people running off to the other side of the world, and this is what they encounter: Got to buy a precious resource just to get a woman, otherwise she won't go with you.

Of course this happens but it only if a man allows it to. China may be slightly different but there are a bunch of other countries where a guy can snare a lady for free. Yep, no deposit required! A non-materialistic woman whose only requirement of a man is to be a good, loyal husband. They do exist abroad and are far from being an endangered species.

The secret is not to allow her or anyone else to dictate over money and materialism issues - and for him to call the shots.

If she's unwilling to cooperate, that's one down and thousands and thousands of others still available that may fit the glove.

[Yohan]

Do you mean even Chinese women are prone to gold digging and they can be nefarious enough to plan it out ahead of time? It must suck for those men who it has happened to. I wonder how many of them proceed to go on to become Chinese MGTOW. And if that happens to a western expatriate, that would suck running into the very thing they tried to run away from. But from posts I've read on the internet, many men who go to Thailand encounter similar things as this.

The location may improve a man's odds, but the man himself needs to have wisdom. Otherwise things will happen to him based upon randomness and luck.

What you write here about China and Thailand is correct. Gold digging women are everywhere, however the way how they do it is different from country to country - it depends on the legal situation.
China and Thailand are not UK or USA.

In China and Thailand laws are not that unfairly executed as it is done in Western countries. But if you give away your money voluntarily without even considering legal advice, what shall a judge really do about it in case of a divorce?

I know about cases where foreign men were cheated in Thailand up to over 80 million baht (about 2.3 million USD) - yes, 2.3 million USD for constructing a palace for him and a Thai girl in the middle of nowhere in rural NorthEastern Thailand, after that she and her relatives kicked him out, but what shall a judge do about it? It was not his land, even the construction permit was not in his name etc. etc.
Such men are acting often stupidly, ignoring any advice, which is not coming from his 'bargirl, who is different from other bargirls'.

You might be cheated everywhere in this world. However for what reason should a man with a healthy brain buy in Thailand property of 2 million USD (80 million baht!) and signing documents he cannot even read?
40 to 80 million baht for a home in Thailand? Are you kidding me? You get a very nice condominium unit for far less than that, 3 or 4 million baht or so.
And the law says, you cannot own land as a foreigner, so why do you try to circumvent the law?

Of course these women luring foreign men into such a crazy situation are criminals, but only because the foreign man is acting stupidly in a way he never would do in his own native country.

[Yohan]

Yohan says that even some of these women plot to steal the house from under the man. Don't women in the West do the same?

Yes, they try, there are plenty of disputes in Chinese courts about who is the owner of a property during divorce procedures.

However China created a new property law, which makes it very clear that property, which was fully paid and registered in the name of this person BEFORE marriage will remain the uncontested property of this owner after divorce.

In China (despite legally seen land cannot be bought but used only as it belongs to the state) and similar in Thailand (foreigner OK, but for condominium only including sharehold land in percentages) the property right of the landlord is stronger and will override family law (including divorce procedures) when facing this legal situation.

However keep in mind, all what is done DURING marriage is a 50/50 matter, regardless who contributed and who did not.

So if a foreign man is acting stupidly DURING marriage and gives away all his money, what shall a Chinese or Thai court do about it?

There is a LOT of information out if you check the internet, there is no excuse if you do nonsense and your money or property overseas is gone to your wonderful Asian girl.

[Yohan]

Bride prices aren't that uncommon. It makes sense, especially if the wife is appreciative and serves her husband well afterwards. The bride price helps the husband realize his wife is valuable.

The bride price is a never ending topic in Thailand, Vietnam...

It is usually paid to the parents - a medieval custom of compensation, but only if the girl was never married before, has no children and is still living together with her parents, but otherwise not.
It's a risk, if the girl gets crazy soon, she is gone and the bride price too.

However there is NO bride price expected under any other circumstances, but a stupid foreign man believes he always should pay something to her parents and of course they take the money and why not?

In some Asian countries such customs are unknown, like in Philippines or here in Japan. Some gifts might be exchanged between both parents but not much more than that.

It's about negotiation - In some cases in Thailand/Vietnam the parents if she is from a poor family will agree to receive something like USD 100,- or 200,- or so per month, and if the girl is gone no further payment is done.

[Kradmelder]

Bride prices aren't that uncommon. It makes sense, especially if the wife is appreciative and serves her husband well afterwards. The bride price helps the husband realize his wife is valuable.

The bride price is a never ending topic in Thailand, Vietnam...

It is usually paid to the parents - a medieval custom of compensation, but only if the girl was never married before, has no children and is still living together with her parents, but otherwise not.
It's a risk, if the girl gets crazy soon, she is gone and the bride price too.

However there is NO bride price expected under any other circumstances, but a stupid foreign man believes he always should pay something to her parents and of course they take the money and why not?

In some Asian countries such customs are unknown, like in Philippines or here in Japan. Some gifts might be exchanged between both parents but not much more than that.

It's about negotiation - In some cases in Thailand/Vietnam the parents if she is from a poor family will agree to receive something like USD 100,- or 200,- or so per month, and if the girl is gone no further payment is done.

it sounds like the practice of Lobola amongst the kaffirs. having to give cattle and money to the family of the cooness. Negotiations are only amongst men. Famly of the groom to family of the bride. First a man must pay mvulamlomo, which is a price to open your mouth. The lobola is affected by many different things including, status the education level of the prospective bride as well as whether the prospective bride already has children. It generally starts at 10 cattle or R80k and is more than the annual income of the darkie.

There is also imvulamlomo, which is paying for damages for making her with chimp.

Personally, I would not pay a cent for a negress.

[Adama]

Yohan says that even some of these women plot to steal the house from under the man. Don't women in the West do the same?

Yes, they try, there are plenty of disputes in Chinese courts about who is the owner of a property during divorce procedures.

However China created a new property law, which makes it very clear that property, which was fully paid and registered in the name of this person BEFORE marriage will remain the uncontested property of this owner after divorce.

In China (despite legally seen land cannot be bought but used only as it belongs to the state) and similar in Thailand (foreigner OK, but for condominium only including sharehold land in percentages) the property right of the landlord is stronger and will override family law (including divorce procedures) when facing this legal situation.

However keep in mind, all what is done DURING marriage is a 50/50 matter, regardless who contributed and who did not.

So if a foreign man is acting stupidly DURING marriage and gives away all his money, what shall a Chinese or Thai court do about it?

There is a LOT of information out if you check the internet, there is no excuse if you do nonsense and your money or property overseas is gone to your wonderful Asian girl.

The only difference is, the government hasn't supported women in this cause. Since we know that Satan is the god of this world and owns every kingdom as of right now, it must be a different mode of destruction for the Chinese male. Or maybe there simply isn't a large enough concentration of Satan's children there to do it just yet.