willymonfrete wrote: ↑November 11th, 2023, 8:43 amLucas88 wrote: ↑November 11th, 2023, 8:29 amWith tradcon societies where you find couples who have been together for decades, you only see the happy and harmonious surface of fake smiles and appearances. But behind that happy and harmonious surface there often lies a dark underbelly of unhappiness, dysfunction, unfulfilled desires and all of the concomitant frustration, and cheating.WanderingProtagonist wrote: ↑November 10th, 2023, 7:48 pmI honestly believe relationships can and do often work, it just really depends on where you live in this world. You have people who have been together with the same person since they were in highschool and have never have had any problems what so ever in their relationship. They do exist, its just that nowadays it's hard to keep a person from straying. Me personally I can't do the type of thing you do I would go mad not having someone close to me. Take those men who are married to women from the countryside in Europe. Those relationships are very strong compared to relationships formed out of the city. So I think it just depends on circumstances and factors. Traditional women aren't so bad, they are just rare in the Western world because of what the culture promotes. That's what makes it so damn hard to near impossible to build up something meaningful. I also understand that commitment is not something everyone wants...
Now that I'm in my 30s and understand the ways of the world a bit better than I did in my naïve 20s, I consider TMM (traditional monogamous marriage) quite iffy to say the least. In societies that promote TMM, people are often encouraged to marry at a young age when they don't know anything about the world, and then are pressured to stay together and endure a loveless marriage even when they fall out of love, start to hate each other and feel unfulfilled. The result of this is droves of deeply unhappy and sexually and romantically frustrated people who outwardly feign normality for the sake of appearances and social respectability. However, people can only live like that for so long and before long you have both men and women sneaking around in the shadows and cheating on their spouse with other people. Many old-timers from that era will tell you just how much people cheated under the surface.
Back when I was in my early 20s, I thought that all manifestations of cheating were completely unacceptable. Boy was I naïve back then. In reality, many married people cheat not because they're dissolute sex maniacs but rather because they're trapped in unfulfilling marriages and need some sexual release and excitement in life in order to keep themselves sane. So the men go with prostitutes (often seen as the easiest option with less possibility of unwanted drama) or engage in hookups or extramarital affairs and the women often have their own love affairs too. Sometimes the woman knows that the man is sleeping with other women but doesn't even care. Their marriage is just for show, after all.
In many societies that have strict ideals pertaining to marriage, it is considered acceptable for married men to go with prostitutes. Thailand is one such society. Men are expected to fulfill their social responsibility of providing for their wives and raising a family but then at the same time fulfill their natural sexual desires with hoes at the local brothel. Even Japan with its obsession with appearances and social conformity is notoriously lenient when it comes to extramarital sex. Married men and women have affairs with somebody else in a love motel and there are sex services down every backstreet which cater to clients - often married men. Many Japanese couples don't even like each other and remain in sexless marriages. But people have to satisfy their sexual needs somehow.
So I now understand that TMM is iffy and doesn't work in most cases. And it's not just about "women these days are shit" either. More women these days are indeed shit due to a serious decline in culture and extensive social engineering on the part of the globalist elites, but even in more traditional societies the concept is already flawed due to its incompatibility with human nature. It only "works" when certain loopholes are permitted for people to achieve their much-needed releases. I'm sure that you will be able to find some examples of genuinely happy marriages that have lasted for 30 years or longer but they are not the norm.
I myself view TMM simply as an archaic and outmoded institution that may have had relevance in previous times but not today in the hypermodern 21st century.
This response is to the Lucas88 quote. Do you have any stats on how many married couples cheat?
One thing that surprised me in AP English class is when the teacher said many centuries ago, the idea that you had to fall 'in love' to get married wasn't a part of medieval culture. The idea grew out of courtly love, where a night might express love for the queen, which wasn't supposed to be sexual in nature, and it evolved into the idea of having to be 'in love' to get married. Now, having read the much more ancient song of Solomon, and being familiar with the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, I know that the concept of being in love is much older. But it probably did not play that huge of a part as a requirement for the initial stages of marriage in European culture in the past.
You marry a woman, which maybe your parents help you pick out or choose for you, or you work it out with her dad to marry her. She's supposed to have sex with you. You are supposed to provide for her. If you are Christians and pious, you both recognize that sex outside of marriage is a sin and that you are required to love her, and she is expected to submit to you and also love you. You are in charge of the household. 'Period piece' dramas will have husbands going out and having affairs with other men's wives, and there were plenty of sinners and low-life's in every era of history.
But really is that type of scenario so bad, especially if you insist on a reasonably good-looking woman? Before photos, magazines, and TV, if you'd only seen 500 people in your life, she might not have to be that good-looking by today's standards to thrill you for her looks.
From personal experience, I can tell you that having one wife, and having sex with that one wife does work. There are times she has gotten emotional, hormonal, in a mood, etc. She's a woman after all. But we've kept our relationship going. We were intimate this morning, and talked for a couple of hours. I've got a sex partner and a companion, and we seem to get along better year after year. The first couple of years, there were almost no arguments or major disagreements, also, and lots and lots of sex before pregnancy got in the way of the sex streak.
I'm thinking about Jordan Peterson's comments on the fact that family is something that really ads meaning to one's life. If you have kids that you raise on some kind of contractual basis, that you don't live in the house with, and you don't have a deep relationship with your wife and mother of your children, then your relationships as you age and lose your looks, your physical strength, your career, etc. probably won't be as deep as the tried and proven ways of having children through a family.Nowadays, after transcending the naïve notions of my 20s, I view relationships and encounters with women only in practical terms. Need sex and company? I'll look for a FWB type arrangement with a phat-ass Latina MILF (preferably verging on BBW proportions) without any drama or emotional turbulence. Crave beauty? I'll hire an escort with modelesque looks and big silicone titties. Want progeny? I'll seek out an intelligent career woman who wants kids but doesn't care about having a relationship or an athletic female with good genetics (e.g., a preponderance of fast-twitch muscle fibers, somebody who does Jiujitsu like Mackenzie Dern) and come to an agreement on how we're gonna raise our kiddies without all of the restrictions and emotional ups and downs of married life or a relationship.
When it comes to procreation, I think that it makes more sense to seek out a mate on the basis of good genetic qualities, not anything as fuzzy and ephemeral as "love".
In fact, in the near future as technology advances, natural sexual selection will likely be largely replaced by preimplantation embryo selection together with gene editing using CRISP-Cas technology in order to artificially select for superior traits such as high intelligence, athleticism, good health, longevity, etc. I personally believe that this path is necessary for the improvement of the genetic health of humanity.
This may seem sappy, but there is joy in really loving a woman, and caring about the person you have sex with, and if she really cares for you back. It's good to be loved, and it really does feel great to be loved during sex, or even just lying there naked holding each other afterward. It's great if she just thinks your hot and is into you out of that more animalistic-feeling side of things. That's enjoyable, sure. And you can have that sort of thing in marriage, too. What happens if you have some sort of medical issue that keeps you from exercising, like Henry VIII, and you get fat, or if you get injured, or have health issues, or don't look good as you age. If you have to pull women from the bar, the only ones who go home with you might be the below 5 ones who can't find a better-looking guy. Of course, if Lucas88 wants fatter women, he might not care.
But I'd imagine he'd care about looks as far as the face goes.Marriage is fat insurance, aging insurance, wrinkle insurance when it comes to sex. You marry a woman who has a nice-looking face and body. In my case, she kept her figure in spite of all the childbirths and is still slim. For Lucas88, this might not be a concern. But you could be old and if your wife is still appealing to look at, then she still has sex with you because you have loved each other over the years, and you are married. If your wife has lost her looks, your probably used to it because you've seen her decline over time, so you are desensitized at looking at an old woman naked and wouldn't be shocked like if you saw that now. But if you don't like it, you can still turn the light out or pull covers over you and have sex when you are old, gray, or fat or have teeth falling out. You've got some sex insurance.
You could still pay an escort with HIV or some obscure disease that didn't show up on the STD test to perform sex acts on, letting you use some orifice 10 thousand other guys had used and left deposits in, if you can afford it. I couldn't afford to pay an escort to provide the level of sex I need if I went that route. I don't live in cheap Cambodia. I'm guessing a couple of hundred bucks. It's like a monthly car payment... but every week. If you are poor when you are old, your wife could still have sex with you. The incremental extra cost of someone else living with you isn't all that much. Just a bit more food, and you are already paying rent.
I don't have to worry about some guy knocking on my door and telling me, "I'm your son" and me feeling like a piece of crap for not having raised him, either. I don't have any children with any whores running around that I don't know about.
Speaking of that, men pay all kinds of money to have sex with prostitutes, and don't prostitutes insist on condoms? How lame of an experience is that? That takes a lot of the sensation out of the experience, especially for you younger guys where everything is at 100%.
And if want to have children for genetics, whether it's a smart woman who can do math. or some tough, muscly MMA chick who could hold you down and have her way with you, you could marry a woman like that.
Willy writes,
Different perspective? Yes, Debunked? No. There are a lot of good, practical reasons to choose marriage over trying to string together various sexual experiences.Great post after mrman was trying to sell us on marriage .You absolutely debunked him!
Also, honestly, as a young man, I really needed sex far too often than to try to set up a bunch of hookups for life. Once the dam breaks and you get it regularly, going without getting it regularly is hard.
An apology from a politician is going to be different from an apology form someone youa re trying to have a relationship with. It's not the same dynamic.
Be firm if she is disrespectful and insist on respect. That draws some boundaries with a woman. Women don't like it when a man doesn't respect himself. But I think a lot of this PUA philosophy works on psychologically messed up women who are not as desirable of partners moreso than one stable desirable women. A decent woman appreciates a man being a decent man. Some girls do really like bad boys, but that shows a lack of good sense.this site has alot of scientific articles to why women also hate good men and nice guys even if they're goodlooking,they may not even consciously be aware of their actions.as a scientific mgtow ala barbarosaaa or thinking ape tv/stardusk I also like to read such articles because it confirms what I've seen my entire life.
Pretty women are not systematically different from regular-looking women in this regard. Some women don't appreciate men until they hit the wall. But it really depends on the woman. A woman can be pretty and have good sense, be humble, and look for good things in a partner.pretty women only want good men that are loyal and affectionate when hitting the wall.she will get bored and cheat on him,she cannot be attracted or respect a truly nice guy.
