Winston:
One thing I am constantly angry about though, is that I was actually happy and normal when we lived in Palo Alto from 1978 to 1980. Everything turned around and went down when I went to Fremont. If we hadn't moved to Fremont, I might have turned out to be a normal kid with a normal life. But we will never know and I will always wonder if that one mistake didn't f**k up everything.
Doc:
** I was talking with John about you there the other day. You don't realize how familiar I am with your areas. We actually grew up in the same years and region; Maybe even crossed paths in our youth. I don't remember you, but the name sounds somewhat familiar. As if we had a class together once, perhaps. Or maybe I read your name on a roster somewhere. I don't know. I am familiar with the area you grew up. With the high schools you attended. With the evolution of that city from 1976 to present. Same for Palo Alto. If you want the truth, I'll tell it to you with no bullshit. I think your perspectives on women and people are skewed by that Fremont area. I think you are taking too personally a rejection of women and peers when the simple fact of the matter was an overall sickness of Asians!!!
Too many goddamn Filipinos!!! Vietnamese! Too many Arabs and Indians flooded into the region!!!! When I grew up out there, it was a former farming town of mostly white folk. Then you all came in and saturated the place! Like rats in a cage, frankly. You don't even have to be racist. The Bay Area makes you a closet racist. Where a degree of immigrant influx is actually nice, novelty, and interesting cultural addition.....too damn many is that whole rats in a cage thing. You wonder why white girls don't like you in America, but particularly Fremont? Because they don't want to be married into some culture where their mother-in-law is that shopping cart-toting, viscious, little Asian bitch who actuallys shoves them out of the way in a grocery store. "Maaaaah!!! Get the hell out of my way, Whitey!! That's my sack of rice!!! I get it first!! That's my stand of brocolli on sale!! I saw it first!!! You weren't looking. Waited too long, so it's my right to cut in front of you in line and pay for it with food stamps from your tax dollar. You didn't move fast enough, so it's my parking spot now, you dumb white bitch!" Then, if you can find an Asian woman who even belongs on the road in a car....good luck! ** So, the observation I think you missed out on but later found is that most white girls simply don't care for Asian men. They consider you tiny-peckered, freaky, little people of that annoying immigrant aggression. They consider you smart, driven, highly disciplined, and basically like a Mr. Spock culture. Inhuman as Vulcans. From that far off land of the Orient. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, WINSTON. Maybe there was some of that, but, if you reflect upon your childhood, probably the bulk of the mean things said or done to you in youth came from other non-Asian races, huh?
** Another factor you're not really seeing is the difference between your region of growing up and the rest of the Bay Area, the state, and country. You notice clear differences between women abroad and women in America, but you haven't met all the women in America. Your view is Bay Area myopic in judging all American women. I think it's rooted in childhood anger, but you're not making a distinction between cultural microcosms in the Bay Area. You grew up in the Warm Springs / Mission San Jose area. That was the second richest area of Fremont at the time. Unless you grew up out in the hills with the redneck country richies, chances are you were one of these Asian families packed into a monster tract house on relatively small land with combined incomes? Everyone teamed together. Everything all serious and business-oriented in the home. It varies, but I have yet to meet an Asian family that wasn't all disciplined and business in the home. Your kids do all their homework dutifully. Everything is about money, money, money and being the wage slave half the time. It's not just Asians. You see it with most the immigrant cultures -- particularly the Arab, the Jew, the Asian, the Indian. You don't find the academic focus so much with the Hispanics and Portuguese, but always the money, money, money and professional focus. All just immigrant drive. Most come from countries of much poverty or, if wealthy over there, came here to find themselves among the Low Class. Got that itch to climb up and be somebody; Give their kids a better life; Acquire material things; Be respectable among peers; Send their kids to the best colleges. And next thing you find is that everything becomes this tremendous outward display of wealth while its often based mostly in debt. The white folks do it, too. Wifey's gotta have the 3000 square foot home. The pool. The SUV for his and her. The flat screen TV in each room. X-Box for the kids. In our day, it was Atari and Nintendo. Gotta have all the finest of things and display such things. When the kids want something, it's given, not even worked for.
** You grew up in an area and immigrant culture where usually the husband and wife worked to uphold that lifestyle. Maybe granny or auntie looked after you at the time. How many spoiled brat little Asian girls have you seen that are mostly just money-hungry little bitches? Even if you were the most handsome and charming man around, do you think a single one of them would be interested in you if your profession were that of a warehouse worker? A plumber? A carpenter? A construction worker? A mechanic? Few and far between, huh? Oh, you might find more humble Asian, immigrant, and white girls of your generation in other towns and other school districts -- like Kennedy High, for example, or in Oakland and San Francisco where they're all mostly poor Asians -- but in Fremont?! Hah!!!! That's the bedroom community of Silicon Valley $$$$$$, Winston! It's the shit hole where the wannabe richies live! You came from the zip code where they're not rich at all. Just mostly trying to be. And the kids there were certainly not poor or low class, nor middle class, but just upper middle class spoiled brats. Not a Beverly Hills 90210 crowd, but mostly just wannabe 90210 kids. And Mission San Jose you went to? That's one of the best schools in the Bay Area. I have rarely met a kid cranked out of there who was not very well educated. Kennedy High? That's mostly a blue collar, lower class neighborhood and school districted you attended. Notice how the kids were nicer and more accepting overall? Less stuck up? Less driven at home to succeed? More of the peasant class. Girls nicer there, too.
** You know what sickens me about Asians, Winston? It's not the race, but the immigrant culture here in America. I like Asians abroad and some here, but, generally, don't care to know them much out here. Why? Because there's too much of that show, show, show and focus on securing the American dream, etc. Doing it at any cost. You usually find households run by women. The men are mere wage slaves. They focus on educating the children, and yet a true education is not given. Not even serious skills. I have seen it a lot in the sciences and engineering where Asians and other races are said to exceed the white man. That I have rarely seen and I don't mean that as a racist statement. Many are the reports of great academic achievement I read from Asians and other races abroad -- in China, Japan, India, etc. But rare are the great things I read from scientific and technical Asians and immigrants in America. Why is that? Well, when I look at all the years I spent in engineering and in school, I worked with some of the smartest Asian kids you can imagine. Indian kids. Filipinos. Some white ones. But, generally, the Asian engineer or scientist that I would hire or care to work with is a rare one. Same for the Filipinos. The Hispanics. Often, the Indians are preferable. Usually the white ones.
**Why is that? How I can say such a heretical, racist thing? Well, it has nothing to do with race, but immigrant culture and financial status. Where they grew up poor or among that wannabe richie culture, you usually find a shallowness in their professional streaks, too. It's all about the money; The job; The title; Their parents being able to boast of them. It's not about love of the work. They're mere slaves with little soul on the job, but that makes a HUGE difference in the engineer or scientist's quality. In the physician's quality. In the quality of anything output. I've seen the smartest of Asian kids pull A's on tests in nuclear physics, but all from just memorization. When it comes down to it, they don't learn the material. It doesn't get into the heart and soul. They don't spend enough time dancing with it. They're like you with women....moving rapidly onto the next and not spending enough time getting to know that one in particular. However, what you find is that 2nd generation immigrants -- children raised among relative comfort, acquired wealth, actually less academic drive, and more time to freely pursue their own interests -- these immigrant kids go on to become much finer scientists and engineers compared to their fathers or older brothers. It's because they weren't pushed into the profession for all the wrong reasons, but rather came there of their own heart. It wasn't about giving their little bitch wife a fancy house and car. So, your quest to find life for an Asian man other than in materialism...it is a noble and good one that does lead to happiness. It's the sex-tourism factor and lifestyle that will not lead to happiness ANYWHERE. The anger behind it.
** Bottom line: You cannot judge all of America or its women based upon people you grew up with in the Bay Area or all of California. This state is the land of fruits and nuts!! It's not even the real America. It's a disgusting place of vile savages!!!! Same as the East Coast and most our cities. Nothing but filthy rats in a cage with their noses in the air and thinking their shit doesn't stink. If you want to find the real America, you have to leave all the city areas and go about 2 hours drive outside the Bay Area but then you're in redneckville where they're more likely to lynch mob you and string you up to a tree as an Asian than ever date you!
** And the colleges you went to? Yeah, you're right. Not many parties there. All commuter campus. All just business and study. Some dating, but, even at the big name schools, the whole party thing is much the myth. It goes on, but you cannot study anything serious and graduate or even stay in the first year like that.
** Anyhow, I don't mean to offend you as an Asian. Most Asians I know bitterly resent even being called "Asian". That lumps you in with the Koreans, the Japanese, the red Chinese, the North Vietnamese, the South Vietnamese, the Filipinos, etc. You're Taiwanese. It's a very different culture than the others with some commanlity. The nicer streaks in you and your family....hell, nobody sees that. They just lump you all in as vile children of that rude little, bitch old lady with her grocery cart. Frankly, there is a deep melancholy-cultural/ Asian coldness streak that white people and other races just sense often in the Oriental spirit that is different from our own. I think it has something to do with that whole Taoist / "be centered" / balance of the emotions/ Mr. Spock-like culture. If you look at Star Trek's Mr. Spock he's basically a Taoist monk. Same for Yoda. American women are emotional goo goo cases. Look at how they weep on They Oprah's shoulders. They want to be treated as equals. They want to be respected and often actually superior to men in the household. And, you, Winston Wu...you come from a culture where the woman is often just a baby factor, a maid, and a worker bee at that. They see you looking straight at their tits, not into their eyes. Many things. They hear you talking of your putang adventures. All these things are vile to the American woman, and so, you are right, you are better off finding them abroad. They are often better and much more suitable for marriage abroad. Certainly often more sane and less the spoiled little bitches of a decadent society. But, still, when wandering abroad, WHEN FINDING ALL THESE BEAUTIES, WHY DO YOU KEEP SEARCHING RATHER THAN KEEPING THEM? WHY DO YOU HAVE A NEED TO KEEP REJECTING AND DUMPING THEM, WHICH HURTS THEM IF YOU ARE TRULY SO CHARMING? Seems to me more vengeance than a love of women abroad. If you want true vengeance, you should be dating American women, pumping, and dumping them while leaving them broken-hearted and knocked up, eh?
Why do you direct your inner anger at women abroad? And if you hold American women in such contempt -- perhaps rightfully so -- aren't they a pretty sad and pathetic case that deserves your pity and forgiveness?