Winston wrote:globetrotter wrote:You will see women like this in most Chinese cities, but not many. I walked by a woman that looked like this in Kaifeng, She was a bit older - 29-32. Just stunning. And here I am with a poor working knowledge of Chinese.
Meeting women is no problem. I meet women every single day.
You gotta know the lingo, though. No way around that.
I am in a small rural city so the girls are sweet and not as amped up as in Schenzen, Shanghai and other big coastal cities.
So girls are approachable there? How do you chat them up? Do you just say hi and then they are open to talking to you?
Chinese genes make them very inhibited usually. It's not just the culture. It's something in their DNA too.
I also find that Chinese women do not like guys who think outside the box. They are very conformist and believe that a good man conforms and becomes successful within the system by pleasing the establishment powers. Anything that is outside the box is seen by them as a mark of instability and danger. They are picky and value stability. And to them, stability means conformity.
Isn't that true?
I find that they tend to avoid guys who think outside the box or from a higher level. They shy away from that or just feel overwhelmed.
"So girls are approachable there? How do you chat them up? Do you just say hi and then they are open to talking to you?"
Very. There is a certain segment of young women who find laowai a curiosity. When I get that vibe I just say hello. Sometimes they run away like 5 year olds do on the playground when you tell a girl you have a crush on her, sometimes they don't. Then what happens is the conversation stalls due to my lack of Patunghua.
"I also find that Chinese women do not like guys who think outside the box. They are very conformist and believe that a good man conforms and becomes successful within the system by pleasing the establishment powers. Anything that is outside the box is seen by them as a mark of instability and danger. They are picky and value stability. And to them, stability means conformity."
I don't know about that. My suggestion would be to suppress those tendencies and put your best foot forward. I teach ESL, a position of respect and wealth in this small town, so I am seen as in the system, conforming and a success.
Big bank account helps, as always.
The Chinese are extremely blunt about the following:
-Your age
-Your relationship/marital status
-Your income
By 'blunt' I mean they will flat out ask you your age, if you are married and how much money you make in China and how much you made in the USA. If they discover that you have as much as $15,000 USD saved up, that is good enough. It almost buys a house here in rural China. Not Shanghai, HK or Beijing, obviously.
They also ask each other how much this or that cost, all the time. I believe this is one of the reasons for the razor thin business profit margins in China - everyone knows your internal cost.
In the States such info is a trade secret and only 2 or 3 of the top people know all that data.
In rural China a dowry, or payment to the girl's parents, is the societal norm. In a 'lucky number sum', such as:
2,222 Yuan
4,444 Yuan
8,888 Yuan (the best...)
11,111 Yuan
88,888 Yuan (this is the most I have heard and is for the girls in Shanghai, etc.)
efc.
So you shell out 8,888 Yuan, or $1,347 USD and have a one hour wedding, and that's it.
Buy an apartment for $12,000 USD, and start a family. No big expensive wedding reception, no $75,000 for the wedding. Just a dowry, and they will expect you to have a house/apt.
Of course you could marry for love only as some here in the RP have, and live poorly but happily.
But that is the RP...
