How can Taiwan be "friendly" if no one wants to be your friend?! 10 Reasons Why Taiwan is NOT friendly!

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

I was wondering something. How do most foreigners in taiwan go about as if nothing is wrong? Dont they notice that Taiwanese are super repressed and self hating and different from other countries?
-----
One thing no one will deny, even if they consider Taiwan to be "friendly or polite" is that for sure the women in Taiwan (and people in general) are definitely NOT easygoing or easy to get along with or easy to get to know.

Taiwan is only an island with about 24 million people, it has a good living standard, but there are only few local women available and men in Taiwan are well-known to import foreign (in general Asian) women as their wife. The future of this island is unclear.
In case of an attack from China, these people have nowhere to go.

The people in Taiwan are a bit difficult to deal with - they do not want to become a part of China, but they do not want to be a good friend of Japan either and often argue together with China against Japan, they have no relationship/friendship with Koreans.... the only place they respect as 'equals' are only those people in HongKong...

As a tourist you are welcome, it's a safe place to walk around, plenty stuff for sightseeing, all is available, all is in best order - and not so expensive, however the island is not so large, entertainment is limited somehow, it's OK for a week or so I guess. Not a bad place for a short-time visit.

Personally I prefer Japan - it has also its problems - and dating with Japanese women is not so easy, but the country is wider, with more people around you.

To work and to live in this area (Taiwan, South Korea, Japan) is surely not everybody's dream. A few Western foreigners stay, but many leave after a while.

About Taiwan women, I know many interracial/international couples (Europe/Asian) and often such marriages hold for a very long time, but I know only 2 Western men from Europe, financially in a very good position, who were married with a woman from Taiwan - after a few years, both of them were divorced when moving back to Europe.

Surely Taiwan is not a favorite place to look for a Chinese girlfriend if you are a Western foreigner...

It sounds like a great place to pump & dump TW women there in TW (Taiwan) -- just not good for LTR but don't let them know that; just let them take the lead and ride her (sexual and figurative pun intended) until the wheels fall off.

[Winston]

Greek guy stuck in Taipei:

"Some people might like taiwan i get it. To me being here is like having existential cancer. I suffer 24 7 just by looking the apathy of the ppl around me. Just a simple exchange of words makes me my stomach ache. The lack of a single intelligent association or emotional reaction. Look at this girl 19 years old. Just take a look. You know what i mean,"

Winston:

"Yeah theres something creepy about Taiwanese people. Hard to explain. They make me feel creepy and weird and sick to my stomach. My dad says its my imagination. But i dont agree. No way."

[Winston]

Why Taiwan is like a living hell. Damned if u do, damned if u dont.

If u stay home u suffer because u need social connection, fresh air, and activity. Man is not meant for sedentary lifestyle. Its unhealthy. Personally i am outgoing and thrive on social connection. However, if u go out no one wants to connect with u. Trying to connect with anyone feels weird, awkward and against the grain. The vibe is very negative too. Everyone ignores you and acts like u dont exist and talking to women is unwelcome and inappropriate.

So u cant connect with anyone or stay home. Either way you lose. Its a living hell, you can't do either, you cant stay home or go out. Terrible. Horrible. Like a nightmare u can't get out of. Why does God allow a place like this to exist? Its an insult to creation.

In 2004 when i talked about this everyone said i was crazy. Now some people are starting to agree with me. In my experience i think about 25 percent of foreigners agree with me about Taiwan. 50 percent partially agree but are not vehement about it. 25 percent strongly disagree and dont see anything that i see in Taiwan, and claim that Taiwan is "wonderful and friendly" per the cliche.

[Winston]

Blog articles about why it's so hard to make friends in Taiwan and why Taiwan is very lonely and alienating where everyone ignores you. Wow many people in the comments section feel the same way I do about Taiwan. Or similarly. Scroll to the comments section. You will see that many others also feel lonely and alienated in Taiwan and find it hard to connect with people or make friends. So I'm not the only one. In 2004 I was the only one online that said these things. Now others are catching up!

https://nihaositgoing.com/2019/05/08/lo ... -the-hump/

https://nihaositgoing.com/2017/08/29/wh ... asons-why/

[Winston]

I posted this in the comments section of the blog above:

"Wow I'm surprised anyone is willing to blog about how hard it is to make friends or meet people in Taiwan. In 2004 I was the only one complaining about the impossibility of connecting with Taiwanese. They seem so empty, soulless, repressed and antisocial and most of all, CLOSED. Something is very off about them, it's hard to explain, but I'm sure anyone who is soulful and has been to Taiwan knows what I mean. There is this NEGATIVE energy/vibe there. It's very different from Philippines or Thailand or Russia or Eastern Europe or Latin America, where the energy/vibe is very fun, lively and soulful. Taiwan in contrast is very boring, sterile and soulless. It kills your life force and enthusiasm and confidence too. It's hard to explain why, there's something very SOUL SUCKING about it. You guys know what I mean? But no one dares to talk about it. I'm surprised another blog besides mine is willing to. I wrote many posts about why Taiwan is unfriendly in my forum and blog. See the link below. One question I ask is "If Taiwan is so friendly, like most travel blogs claim, then why does no one want to be your friend?" That question stumps everyone.

viewtopic.php?style=11&f=5&t=42507

Language barrier has nothing to do with anything. I know people who speak Chinese who cannot connect with anyone in Taiwan. And when I first went to Russia, I spoke no Russian but was able to meet girls everyday and found a girlfriend in 2 days too. For the first time in my life I had no shyness or social anxiety. It's all about the vibe and soul of the country.

Do you ever wonder what everyone is smoking when they say that "Taiwan is so friendly, wonderful, and a hidden gem?" How can that be when:

1) The women are not approachable at all. They are very closed, standoffish, cold and have a negative vibe. Even trying to talk to them feels uncomfortable and awkward. And flirtation is a big NO NO, definitely NOT allowed.
2) The people have this grouchy, self-hating, repressed, negative, grim, awkward vibe and personality too. It's hard to explain or put into words, but if you've been to Taiwan and have an authentic living soul and aren't an automaton or zombie, I'm sure you know what I mean. What's more, they have absolutely NO enthusiasm or interest in making new friends. All they do is exclude you and ignore you. It's insulting to be treated like that. Better to be alone in nature than in a crowd of Taiwanese who ignore and exclude you.
3) The atmosphere in Taiwan has this creepy soul-sucking vibe that erodes your confidence and self-esteem. You certainly cannot come out of your shell and be confident, outgoing, lively, playful and fun, the way you can in Thailand or Philippines or Brazil. No way jose. Hell no. You never feel good about yourself the way you do in SE Asia or Brazil.

Given all that, what is everyone smoking when they say online and on YouTube that Taiwan is "so wonderful and friendly and a hidden gem"? Can anyone explain? Is everyone lying or are we all in different parallel universes and dimensions? Most people seem to have a hive mind nowadays anyway, they just say whatever is trendy and popular even if it's not true at all. Very weird. As a living soul, freethinker and freespirit, I'm the opposite of all that and am super honest and tell it like it is. But of course, honesty is not valued in Taiwan, you are expected to be positive and say only nice things about Taiwan, even if you have to lie. The culture of Taiwan definitely doesn't value honesty like other foreign countries do. Even mainland China feels a lot more authentic and normal than Taiwan.

What do you all think? Can anyone shed light on my questions? Feel free to read all my anti-Taiwan essays in my forum and blog.

Thanks,
Winston
Founder of HappierAbroad.com, the most unique expat site and forum in the world"

[Winston]

Some comments from the blog.

https://nihaositgoing.com/2017/08/29/wh ... nt-page-1/

Valentin Vasilyevich Bondarenko (@ValentinVasily3) says: April 2, 2019 at 4:10 am
Hello,
Have been here for two years, it’s so difficult that I chose to sleep during daylight and go out at night having meal in HiLife. Simply because i don’t want to see locals anymore.
I feel so ignored that I prefer being in city when locals are at home in bed.
An empty road feels better than when Taiwanese are on it completely ignoring me.

“but for the majority, it is easier to have a good time by staying in a homogeneous group of people”
Good article, But I don’t understand why staying in a homogeneous group is easier? I could have stayed in my homogeneous country, but came to Taiwan because homogeneous is too boring and uncomfortable for me. I always avoid meeting people of my country when I travel. Have been traveling for 12 years away from home already. I thrive for meeting different people and really dislike when I see people of same country flock together.

I’m obviously listening to Confucius , while Homogeneous Taiwanese are not.
I’m not homolingual, homocultural, homonational or homo anything.


Bob says: December 13, 2017 at 6:39 pm
Interesting article. Befriending locals simply does not seem to happen. My girlfriend’s relatives, colleagues and friends mostly speak English very well, but still any conversation that includes 2 or more locals within a few minutes changes to Mandarin. Every 15 minutes I may be updated about the topic they are talking about. My girlfriend uses the same argument as mentioned above: “…it is easier to have a good time by staying in a homogeneous group of people who speak Mandarin”. Most of the time I rather not join these dinners, but then still get the blame that without me they can’t order that many different dishes. It is not that the locals have a goal to exclude you, it is just that they don’t care or bother to include you, to help you fit in a bit more.


Stan says: September 2, 2017 at 7:44 pm
As a Taiwanese person that grew up overseas, that speaks perfect mandarin, to me culture is the biggest factor. For my first 4 years in Taiwan I really made a huge effort to befriend locals. I worked in various Taiwanese companies. I had lunch with my colleagues everyday, at night I’d hang out with them, go to KTVs, hotpot dinners, coffee, etc. At one point I realized that I just don’t enjoy having conversations with them any more. I even did my millitary service and I also did my very best to befriend other conscripts during that year. In my final four years in Taiwan I gave up and pretty much hang out exclusively with foreigners.

Here are some factors:
1. Topics of conversations. Simply I had nothing in common with most Taiwanese. My ex-colleagues could talk about online shopping for an hour, or talk about Korean soap operas, obsession with food and restaurants. For me I could never relate to them, as culturally we are so different. For me its unbelievable that they’ve never seen the Godfather films, or heard of Green Day or U2. Also its nigh impossible to talk to them about sports. I love to travel but most Taiwanese only go to neighbouring countries or at most United States, more often than not in awful tour groups.

2. Humour. Taiwanese do not have the concept of many things we consider humorous in the west. Such as sarcasm, irony, euphemism, etc. Often I speak sarcastically and they think I”m stating the obvious or simply being stupid.

3. Superstition. Taiwanese are incredibly superstitious and we in the west tend to be more logical. I listened to my ex-colleagues talk about marriage rituals and do this and that, eat this and that to avoid cancer (they’ve told me to soak onions in red wine is an example), or even tell ghost stories for hours. I simply cannot tolerate this kind of conversation.

4. Believing in stereotypes, often to the point of bigotry. Taiwanese revolve their lives around stereotypes of foreigners. They’d make horrible comments about brown skin people. Especially people from India, South East Asia, Africa. They feel they are superior and classist. Often its just ignorance and poor education. For example in my company we had a visitor from the US head office and he is an African American. One colleague went up to him and said: do you play basketball? do you like chicken?

5. Hypocrisy
For example: They’d say westerners in Taiwan should be openminded and try stinky tofu, gaoliang etc. While themselves overseas on business trips they stick to Chinese restaurants and refuse to try any foreign food. They pride themselves on being friendly and hospitable people, yet they treat their Filipino housekeepers like slaves.

After 8 years, despite having a decent career and good friends, I decided to move out of Taiwan. As simply I couldn’t stand the people (the living environment is another factor). Working with Taiwanese people is whole other story that is even more complicated.


Khoon Tan (@khoonie) says: July 11, 2018 at 9:31 pm
Stan,

OMG you just described my experience 100%. I’m from South East Asia and of Chinese descent and I speak the language. I’ve lived in Taipei for a decade and I can tell you it has been a mental struggle.

The moment people find out I’m from SE Asia, at least 1 out of 2 change their tone with me. I have been rejected outright for jobs the moment I tell them my nationality. My education is assumed to be “high school level only” (I have a masters) and they would outright reject and talk over me in a disrespectful manner.

The other half would still be cordial, and they will have decent conversations with you at work, but that’s about it.

Anyway to cut through the chase I have but 2-3 friends here only after a decade, and they are either foreigners or ABCs.


Valentin Vasilyevich Bondarenko (@ValentinVasily3) says: April 2, 2019 at 4:54 am
Dear Khoon Tan
a decade in Taipei? You remind of an innocent who spent 10 years in prison and then was exonerated.
Thanks for sharing, usually people who went through pain are humiliated and discouraged to voice their experience. Only positive views get to surface for a sugar-coated ignorance.

the part of Titanic I like is the sinking scene. Similarly, your comments are more exciting than “Taiwan is great, best place for expats”

I wouldn’t believe finding 2-3 friends in a decade is possible. But after my 2 years I have 0 local friends and learning to isolate myself. I also tell my counselor I’m happy because otherwise he sent a letter to my family (I’m 32 years old!) and gave me warning. So I have to say I’m okay.
Living abroad for 12 years, finding friends in Taiwan is harder than on Moon.


sty126 says: February 5, 2019 at 10:53 pm
I am born and raised in Taiwan, but I can truly understand and feel your pain when having conversations with some Taiwanese people. Some of my friends (okay, ‘used-to-be’ friends) were just as you said, talking about soap dramas, pointless shopping experience, etc. What upsets me more is that they were trying to stereotype everything, or giving people labels based on their race, gender, education, job title, or whatever they like. I simply couldn’t put up with this and at the beginning, I tried to give them some new insights but soon I realized that was useless and I started hating myself ‘lecturing’ others. It’s kind of something rooted in their mind due to the education, family, and media. I often found myself have nothing to talk about in that kind of pointless group conversation but still tried hard to not to be ignored. Those were some of the most awkward and unpleasant moments in my life. Well, still, not all Taiwanese people are like that. I am still able to find some like-minded people to talk with and be friends. I guess it somehow depends on the type of working environments/school/social groups we go to.


Valentin Vasilyevich Bondarenko (@ValentinVasily3) says: April 2, 2019 at 4:36 am
Glad to see your comment Stan.
Factor number 2 is very true. I often say “If Jim Carrey comes to Taiwan, he will get depressed”
Taiwanese take a long time to build friendships, that means you can’t have a great evening with them until a few seasons pass.
factor 4: I don’t fully agree, Taiwanese watch Bollywood. They have blond fetish but didn’t really hear them saying terrible things about India or brown people.
5: Agree. I found Taiwanese and friendly two different things. Their concept for friendship is that if they don’t beat someone with stick, they’re being friendly.

I understand you don’t enjoy conversations with them, they’re very quite and boring. sometimes I says why nobody talks to me, but I look around and see they’re not talking to each other as well. Very quite with their eyebrows shaped in a very sad frame. It seems depression is the standard of happiness in Taiwan.

Glad you left, can’t figure out why you stayed so long. I loved your comment, will definitely share with my sister now and auntie in Canada!


Jaysun says: August 30, 2017 at 8:19 pm
Well written. Adding my two cents: From my experience traveling around many parts of the world, I’ve found that it’s easier to talk, relate, and possibly befriend anyone in the world who isn’t Oriental (not going to say Asian because I can relate to Russians, Indians, etc.). It’s about upbringing and national conditioning (I agree that it has nothing to do with culture, unless your culture is prone to being ethnocentric, which some are) that shape how people tick as they develop as a person. As a teacher, I find it’s much easier to relate to the Taiwanese elementary kids I teach because they haven’t been fully indoctrinated in the national way of thinking. My observations after traveling have found that most Orientals (not by DNA but from national upbringing) have a way of thinking and operating that is very different from the rest of the world. I related and befriended people from all over the world when I was traveling, both locals and foreign nationals whom weren’t Oriental. You may disagree, but from my first-hand experiences, I’ve found that it’s very hard to comfortably relate and befriend most Orientals because of their national conditioning. That’s a shame because I have always liked conversing with locals and getting to know all different types of people around the world. My close Taiwanese friend happened to go to university in Australia for 8 years, so I’m able to relate and comfortably hangout with him because he broke out of the national bubble. Every country has a national bubble mentality, but Orientals’ seems to be more intricate. I’m not saying that there is something wrong with Orientals’ national conditioning per say, I’m just saying that it closes them off from relating to the rest of the world that thinks and operates differently. And don’t get me wrong, I love Taiwanese and other Orientals even if I don’t relate with them.

[Winston]

My new blog post:

Foreigners Speak Out About TAIWAN Being "Lonely, Alienating, Depressing and Hard to Make Friends" - So You're Not The Only One and Neither Am I!
https://blog.happierabroad.com/2020/12/ ... ssing.html

[Winston]

@Yohan can you explain why people say this about Taiwan?

viewtopic.php?p=350961#p350961

What do you think of the comments from the blog above?

The comment about it being easier to make friends on the moon than in Taiwan is so funny and true. Also the one about Jim Carrey being depressed if he came to Taiwan is true too. Taiwanese have no sense of humor at all and would not jibe with it. It's also true what the comment said that an empty road is better than a road full of Taiwanese who all ignore you and exclude you, which is insulting. It's like, if China came and blew Taiwan to smitherines, why should anyone care since Taiwanese don't care about you and exclude you and ignore you?

Why does God allow a place like Taiwan to exist? It's an insult to creation. So inhuman and cold. How do Taiwanese see that as normal and why do foreigners online say that Taiwan is "a great place for expats, number one, very friendly, wonderful, and a hidden gem"? Can you explain that?

[onethousandknives]

One experience I can remember that may pertain to Taiwan is in some ways naturally shy people tend to open more to other shy people. Or some people have a gift of it? I remember one place I worked in USA about a decade ago now, I sold windows at fairs. We were partnered up with one other employee at the booth for the day. There was a girl there that was super duper shy, and we actually talked quite a lot all day together when we were at a fair, she shared her food with me, etc. (I ended up quitting two weeks after and wasn't partnered up with her again...) I told my other friend who worked there and got me the job about this and he was downright amazed, and said "Wow, that's amazing, nobody else has ever gotten her to talk at all." I was certainly not a "player" and used zero "game" back then. I just was myself and we hit it off relatively OK, and I apparently got farther than anyone else who worked there. Obviously regrets about not trying harder to seal the deal and go out with her, etc, but the point still stands with someone shy I made it farther than average.

In my life in USA, I feel like I've made a lot of friends in school, neighbors, work, etc, just with shyer people who wouldn't open up to others. Another situation I had more recently was a married girl with pretty extreme anxiety who almost talked to nobody else at my gym took me out with her (under non-dating pretenses at first, I ended up not taking it further as I had my girlfriend and she was married) but told me "You know, you've always been nice to me, never made fun of me, and never judged me for anything." In Taiwan I feel like people were very much more open to me compared to USA maybe for that reason, like it's a shy/shy attraction where they don't feel threatened by me compared to someone more stereotypically extroverted.

I can't speak for your own experience in Taiwan, as it's your own experience, but I think something like this is why I feel socially good there.

[Natural_Born_Cynic]

Sounds like Taiwan is a first world sh#thole..

[Winston]

Have u noticed that not only are Taiwanese cold, closed, soulless and reptilian, but they have a negative vortex or black hole inside them too? U can feel it from them when you're around them. Its definitely in their aura. I can feel it for sure and very strongly too. It sucks your confidence and spirit and makes u feel weakened severely. I thought it was my imagination but now I'm 100 percent sure its real.

Thats why u never feel confident or strong around Taiwanese people, especially Taiwanese women. And thats why u never see any brave or confident or tough Taiwanese. They always act weak and timid. Never like Chuck Norris or Sylvester Stallone or Clint Eastwood. Never. No way.

Have u noticed that? Ask yourself:

- Have u ever met a brave strong confident Taiwanese person?
- Are you able to be confident, strong, brave and relaxed around Taiwanese people, especially Taiwanese women which tend to be super conformist?

Probably not. I definitely would say no, never. Not even in America. Even in America they arent that much different. Thats why i try to avoid going out in Taiwan. Its not good for my aura or self confidence. Therefore if u too always feel weak and scared and unconfident around Taiwanese people and groups, its not your imagination or your fault.

Also anyone who grew up in a Taiwanese family (including me) knows that Taiwanese parents always make u feel weak and insecure and afraid to take any risks even small risks. They never energize you to feel strong or confident. Never. Thats why every Taiwanese u meet looks weak and timid. The culture and people of Taiwan do that to you so they must have a soul sucking negative vortex. I feel it around them all the time. I swear.

Thus Taiwan could never win any war with anyone. Not even with another country of the same size. Thats yet another reason Taiwan can never defend itself against China. No Taiwanese ive ever met has any real confidence or bravery or courage at all. Not even one. They all act super weak and insecure and fearful.

All this may be taboo and impolite to say, but i would swear on the Bible that its true.

Do any of u notice the negative vortex or black hole inside the Taiwanese people too? Its very strong and noticeable. But no one dares to mention it of course. Its very taboo to expose this. Especially since truth is not a virtue in Taiwanese culture, only political correctness, conformity, politeness and squareness is.

Its probably not intentional though. They probably dont even know they have the negative vortex inside them. Even u talk to them and have a polite conversation u can still feel the negative vortex. It feels kind of creepy. I dont like it.

Even my parents have it sort of but dont know it. Its strange because my parents are nice and kind but they dont know they have a negative vortex emanating from their aura that takes away my confidence. I told my dad about this. He just denies it and has no idea i mean and thinks its my imagination. Lol. I keep swearing to him that its real but he refuses to listen and doesnt understand me or relate to me at all.

I guess if u have a negative vortex u wont notice if others have it too. Lol. Thats only natural and to be expected.

Whats worse, if they have a negative vortex and i have a positive vortex or vibe then they may perceive me as the one with the negative vortex or vibe. And probably they do. In fact i would probably be perceived as being negative for exposing all these truths about Taiwan too. Its so twilight zoneish. Like a sci fi dystopia movie. Lol. Go figure.

[Winston]

I saw the lady president of taiwan on youtube saying that taiwan is free and everyone is allowed to be themselves. Yeah right. Thats a lie. Sure u wont be arrested for being weird or eccentric in taiwan. But u will definitely be socially ostracized. Thats for sure. Because Taiwanese stricly like normies and square people only. U can feel it in any taiwanese group. Theres a vibe that says "you better be square and normal and non-controversial or pretend to be".

Someone replied:

"Its total control. There is no need to enforce anything since people are willingly slaves. Its a succesful slavery experiment. Enslave them from the inside."

So true and sad. Yet the media never talks about this. All it does is accuse china and north korea of lacking freedom. Never taiwan or japan.

[Winston]

[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: Could it also be that people who are closed and cliquish are friendlier to other people who are the same? Lol. So if i was closed and cliquish then i could connect with Taiwanese and Californians better? Lol. And be let into more cliques?

[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: Yesterday my cousins said her daughter in Taipei (who is abc) has made a lot of abc friends in taipei and hangs out with them a lot in groups and has gotten to know tons of people. She asked me before why I can't just do the same. What do u think rock?

The thing is this daughter is 40 now and she looks very fake and leftist. She thinks shes an independent thinker. But she hates trump and thinks all his supporters are fake news and at the airport she wears a whole astronaut suit because shes paranoid of covid-19. Yet she considers herself an independent thinker who listens to nobody? Lol. Go figure.

Yet she is popular in taipei and hangs out in large groups and cliques. Most likely most of these friends are just acquaintances though right? No one can have a ton of real friends.

What do u think rock? Why cant i do the same? Lol.

Is this a case where if ur closed and cliquish u are more accepted into groups of others who are similar and conformist and mainstream and "normies"?

When i met her before she had a weird vibe. Wasnt down to earth at all. However her mom and i vibe well and is down to earth and is an alternative health junkie too like me. So her mom and i always have stuff to talk about. Shes probably the only cousin i vibe with. The mom i mean.

[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: This is what she looked like in 2014 when i met her. Lol. Doesnt she look like a different species from me? Lol. Like a spoiled california abc girl? Lol. She had a weird vibe. Wasnt down to earth. Hard to explain.
[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: How does she fit into taipei and have a lot of groupie friends? Lol. Just because shes shallow and a normie? Lol
[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: No she seemed like someone from another universe. Her mom though is very down to earth.
[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: The lady in black shirt is her mom.
[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: It makes sense though that like attracts like. So if ur fake or cliquish u will get along better with others who are the same.
[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: Her mom fits taiwan though and has a lot of friends in taiwan.
[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: She has positive vibe too.

[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: Its an enigma. Because most people online say the opposite about taiwan and insinuate that im crazy or that it must be all my imagination. I dont get why. I know what i see. So its very twilight zoneish and inexplicable. A big mystery. How can taiwan be warm and friendly and open to everyone but me? I cannot be hallucination or imagining the coldness and closedness i see in taiwan. Yet everyone implies that i am. Out of the 23 million people in taiwan not one admits that Taiwanese are closed people. Im the only one. So by conventional standards i must be crazy and wrong and off. Right? Yet i am the most honest guy u know. So how can that be? Isnt this a bigger mystery than the pyramids or atlantis? Lol

[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: Btw my dad is kind of dumb and naive. He told me at the table with the relatives above that if i were to talk about mainstream subjects that Taiwanese people are interested in, rather than deep subjects, then i would be able to fit into taiwanese social groups like susan does.

Thats so dumb. It doesnt work that way. My dad acts like he has no social experience or life experience. Very naive and clueless about human nature and psychology. Why does he give such bad advice and assumptions?

We all know it doesnt work that way. Its not what u say its how u say it. And if people dont like you or your personality or your core essence it doesnt matter if u talk about topics theyre interested in. Right?

If someone like u they dont care what u say. If someone doesnt they will see everything u say and do in a negative light even if u have common interests.

Susan's mom told me that Taiwanese groups probably exclude me and treat me coldly because i am too intellectual and deep for them. However filipinos are simple and uneducated yet they are much more warm and positive to me. So being smart or dumb cant be the reason. There must be something deeper. Like a difference in nature. Being pickier and more reserved is closer to the truth.

[12/11, 12:05 PM] Winston Wu: I told jon aflague the other day that people who are closed and cliquish see nothing wrong with others who are the same way. They see them as normal. Plus their definition of friendliness is simply that other people are polite and dont bother them and dont hit them on the head. Lol. Its not the same as my definition. He agreed.

[12/11, 12:12 PM] Winston Wu: Why does my dad naively think that if i talk about mainstream topics that normal people are interested in, then i will be accepted into normie groups and cliques? Lol. Where does he get that? Do u guys agree?

I can talk about anything. With filipino girls i talk about simple topics like their family, their homes, swimming, beaches, etc. I dont talk about intellectual stuff. So my dads theory doesnt make sense. Im not on a deep wavelength 24/7. I can talk about simple stuff too.

[12/11, 12:23 PM] Winston Wu: I thought of a good analogy to describe Taiwan.

Its kind of like this: if u pour ketchup on chocolate bar or a cookie it will taste awkward and off and weird. No one does that. When i try to connect with people in taiwan, especially mainstream people, it feels the same. Like very awkward and off. Like trying to mix two things that arent supposed to mix. It never feels natural or comfortable. Never feels right.

However that doesnt mean theres something wrong with me. Ketchup mixes well with french fries and has a good synergy of flavors. But it doesn't mix with milk. But milk mixes well with cereal well. See what i mean? In some foreign countries i feel much more natural and good and positive. Like philippines or thailand or russia. So it cant just be because i suck.

My dad doesnt get it. He thinks everyone can mix with any group or culture as long as he acts normal and talks about normal topics. Lol. So naive and clueless. Where does he get that???

[Winston]

Q: Why do taiwanese people ignore you winston?

[1/2, 9:22 AM] Winston Wu: I dont know. I been asking that since 2004. I think its because:

1. In NE asia people dont talk to strangers unless they are introduced.

2. The people are not interested to make friends. They are polite and distant and dont like to get close. Even most of my relatives and cousins are not close to us anymore.

3. Taiwanese do not like people who are eccentric or different or think outside the box. They like normies who are very square and politically correct. If u are different it makes them uncomfortable and they dislike u and cut off communicate with u. Thats what i dont like about Taiwan. So even if i meet people i dont connect with them. Their attitude is weird and narrow to me. If i was white they would treat me better i hear because they expect white people to be different but asian people are supposed to act the same to them.

4. So even if i meet them we have nothing in common and they dont like my vibe or personality. Theres never any connection or chemistry or synergy. Only old people here are open minded and will tolerate me. The young people give me a dirty look because they sense i am not like them. I am open and direct and too honest. They dont like honesty. Its not considered a good quality here. Hence they do not like the core essence of what i am. I would be much more appreciated in Europe for sure.

Even in america ive never met a taiwanese girl that i could connect with. I only connect with freespirited asians but those are rare. They are like a different species. U have to be very square to get along with taiwanese. U cannot be eccentric or freethinker or freespirit. That makes them uncomfortable. Also taiwanese culture does not allow flirting like philippines does. That's taboo just like in America.

[1/2, 9:22 AM] Winston Wu: Do u know what "being square" means? It means like being very obedient to society and mainstream and always being normal. Never eccentric. Never abnormal. Never saying anything thats not politically correct. and never being controversial. U have to be square to get along in sterile countries like taiwan or japan. Not to connect but just to get along. Otherwise people will avoid u and gossip behind your back. Even in america most asians are square and only tolerate u if u are square too.

[1/2, 9:22 AM] Winston Wu: I dont go out much here. Nowhere to go. No one invites me to do anything either. They treat me like a ghost. I also dont like the vibe here. When i see people it makes me feel sad that i cannot connect with them. Not because of language but because of culture and personality and soul. As one guy said in a blog, better to be alone in nature than around thousands of taiwanese who exclude u and ignore u. So true.

Also most of the year is hot and i cannot even sit outside without insects biting my skin. So Taiwan is not even good for nature or outdoors. I cannot even sit outside to read a book for long. You are lucky in europe and america u can sit outside and enjoy nature without insects biting u. Lol

[Winston]

Countries like Japan and Taiwan are socially totalitarian with a totalitarian vibe. Why? The government is not totalitarian. Its the social culture that is totalitarian. What that means is that the social culture is super restrictive and repressed. Not the government. Everyone lives in fear and never expresses themselves. U gotta wonder why? People do not talk to strangers openly like in most foreign countries. And women especially are closed and never make eye contact with strangers. When i say hi to them they walk by as if i dont exist. Its very depressing.

This just goes to show that freedom is not about the ability to vote like americans think. U can vote in taiwan but there's no freedom. Theres a totalitarian vibe. Because of social culture, not government. Everything feels super repressed and restrictive. U cannot be yourself or express yourself. Not even talk to strangers or flirt. Very totalitarian vibe for sure. No freedom at all. Why does no media ever talk about this? If i do it will be suppressed and condemned because such obvious truth is taboo.