I would have never thought...

[publicduende]

Have you actually being over here, or just generalising? I think this is third thread I am writing on, where I am saying that pumping and dumping is NOT the problem here. I can have as much of that as you probably had back in the days, or now, you make the timescale.

There are "plenty of quality educated women available". Where, Saffa? Germany? Are they all in their 20s wanting a man almost twice their age? Are you sure about that? If you are positive on this, then you probably live in South Africa, but on a parallel plane of existence.

I am 42, separated (but I say divorced, OK that's a technicality), I might not be Channing Tatum but I am not ugly and definitely not fat. I don't expect women to worship me, but not expecting to go into a fight with a Filipino because I am trying to steal their women under their noses. Because that's the reality: if she is remotely hot and smart at the same time, she is married or engaged, she might well be into her first or second child.

Basically, you're accusing me of not being man enough to approach, or win or whatever, the quality women available. I am telling you we're stuck at the previous square here. There are no quality available women to speak of. Those who are not quality, I have no problem meeting, talking to, dining, banging etc. So stop talking about me like I am some clueless wimp. You don't know me in the slightest, you don't know what I am going through (which isn't much of your business anyway) and, most importantly, you're not here in Davao to judge.

There is more wine here than at the Stellenbosch wine festival. Do you want some cheese with the whine?

Fark, you are only 42 and whining about being washed up. That is an ideal time to find serious women. Many well educated biological clock types in their late 20s to mid 30s who now want kids will see your age and status as perfect husband material, unless you have limp pasta for a dick At that age I was pomping everyday, pulling very good looking women who wanted to settle. But I just got divorced so that was the last thing I wanted. I had a pick of hot educated ones wanting family and a good stable man.

Even for men older than you there are plenty of quality educated women available. What a sorry Mofo you sound like. You sound like an old man who has given up and are making all sorts of excuses for your failure. If you are are pathetic in person around women they will flee. That is what women see. Get up and sort yourself out and get a decent women. >95% of the world does it. The other 5% who sit and whine and don't need you to swell their ranks. They already have an entire faggosphere already whining that women dont want them, why would you want to join that pathetic lot? They make it sound like most men can't find women, but that is a crock of shyte as the vast majority of good men in the world are not single. Women also know that. Most men do find women. Only the whiners do not because women run away from them.

If you are an ugly fat fark with a bad attitude who expects young girls to worship you, you are out of luck. Why should they settle for that? They dont even need social media to know there is far better than that available. The attitude and fat you can do something about instead of just sitting back in your own dung complaining about it. The age and looks you can do nothing about, but many men your age and older pull in quality women that are relationship material. They are just not as pathetic in attitude. Even an italian woman would slap you if had that attitude and tell you to be man, whatever being a man in Italy means. Certainly filipinas don't see a man the way you come across.

[MrMan]

Publicduende,

If you are still married to someone else, your chances of getting a high quality woman in the Philippines could be quite low, and rightfully so.

[Kradmelder]

Have you actually being over here, or just generalising? I think this is third thread I am writing on, where I am saying that pumping and dumping is NOT the problem here. I can have as much of that as you probably had back in the days, or now, you make the timescale.

There are "plenty of quality educated women available". Where, Saffa? Germany? Are they all in their 20s wanting a man almost twice their age? Are you sure about that? If you are positive on this, then you probably live in South Africa, but on a parallel plane of existence.

I am 42, separated (but I say divorced, OK that's a technicality), I might not be Channing Tatum but I am not ugly and definitely not fat. I don't expect women to worship me, but not expecting to go into a fight with a Filipino because I am trying to steal their women under their noses. Because that's the reality: if she is remotely hot and smart at the same time, she is married or engaged, she might well be into her first or second child.

Basically, you're accusing me of not being man enough to approach, or win or whatever, the quality women available. I am telling you we're stuck at the previous square here. There are no quality available women to speak of. Those who are not quality, I have no problem meeting, talking to, dining, banging etc. So stop talking about me like I am some clueless wimp. You don't know me in the slightest, you don't know what I am going through (which isn't much of your business anyway) and, most importantly, you're not here in Davao to judge.

There is more wine here than at the Stellenbosch wine festival. Do you want some cheese with the whine?

Fark, you are only 42 and whining about being washed up. That is an ideal time to find serious women. Many well educated biological clock types in their late 20s to mid 30s who now want kids will see your age and status as perfect husband material, unless you have limp pasta for a dick At that age I was pomping everyday, pulling very good looking women who wanted to settle. But I just got divorced so that was the last thing I wanted. I had a pick of hot educated ones wanting family and a good stable man.

Even for men older than you there are plenty of quality educated women available. What a sorry Mofo you sound like. You sound like an old man who has given up and are making all sorts of excuses for your failure. If you are are pathetic in person around women they will flee. That is what women see. Get up and sort yourself out and get a decent women. >95% of the world does it. The other 5% who sit and whine and don't need you to swell their ranks. They already have an entire faggosphere already whining that women dont want them, why would you want to join that pathetic lot? They make it sound like most men can't find women, but that is a crock of shyte as the vast majority of good men in the world are not single. Women also know that. Most men do find women. Only the whiners do not because women run away from them.

If you are an ugly fat fark with a bad attitude who expects young girls to worship you, you are out of luck. Why should they settle for that? They dont even need social media to know there is far better than that available. The attitude and fat you can do something about instead of just sitting back in your own dung complaining about it. The age and looks you can do nothing about, but many men your age and older pull in quality women that are relationship material. They are just not as pathetic in attitude. Even an italian woman would slap you if had that attitude and tell you to be man, whatever being a man in Italy means. Certainly filipinas don't see a man the way you come across.

why on earth would I go to the Phillipines for women when I can find decent white one here? I would never do brown anyway.

Yes I am sure about it because I know quite few decent women. And I don't mean pump and dump, although that is available as well. I would not look for early 20s. That is close to my daughter's age, so why would I want to do that? At 42, it would be a woman that can be your daughter. And you still wonder why they run?

[yick]

at Krad's post - but the good intention is there, it comes in an iron fist. Sometimes that's whats needed.

But what would you expect if one of your upstanding, upper class Filipino young men who seems to have the pick of the women you want was to go to Italy and demand that he only wanted the upper class, single beauties who go to the University of Pisa/Florence/Milan....

You'd laugh at him, because he wouldn't stand much of a chance, even if he could speak fluent Italian.

So, you need to reel down what you want, I know it isn't what you want and you think it's a compromise but it isn't really - I mean, what's your social standing in Italy? If you are middle class in Italy yourself and your parents work in a bank or are clerical staff - why would it be so much of a compromise for you to date a (trainee or graduated) nurse? There are tons of nursing students in the Philippines who would make a good wife.

Going for the cream of any society is going to end in failure for the vast majority of foreigners. Just like if any foreigner went to Italy to get their creme de la creme.

[Kradmelder]

at Krad's post - but the good intention is there, it comes in an iron fist. Sometimes that's whats needed.

But what would you expect if one of your upstanding, upper class Filipino young men who seems to have the pick of the women you want was to go to Italy and demand that he only wanted the upper class, single beauties who go to the University of Pisa/Florence/Milan....

You'd laugh at him, because he wouldn't stand much of a chance, even if he could speak fluent Italian.

So, you need to reel down what you want, I know it isn't what you want and you think it's a compromise but it isn't really - I mean, what's your social standing in Italy? If you are middle class in Italy yourself and your parents work in a bank or are clerical staff - why would it be so much of a compromise for you to date a (trainee or graduated) nurse? There are tons of nursing students in the Philippines who would make a good wife.

Going for the cream of any society is going to end in failure for the vast majority of foreigners. Just like if any foreigner went to Italy to get their creme de la creme.

And he is still married at that. Yet thinks that in a Catholic country a decent young woman would settle for a married middle aged man because marriage is just a technicality With this fairy tale, he believes he is the one who sees reality and everyone else is in lala land

I am still surprised no filipino father has shot him, which would be well deserved if some middle aged married man were chasing your virgin young daughter.

Yet we are supposed to feel sorry for him I am too busy laughing at how ridiculous it sounds. Adama had him pegged.

[yick]

at Krad's post - but the good intention is there, it comes in an iron fist. Sometimes that's whats needed.

But what would you expect if one of your upstanding, upper class Filipino young men who seems to have the pick of the women you want was to go to Italy and demand that he only wanted the upper class, single beauties who go to the University of Pisa/Florence/Milan....

You'd laugh at him, because he wouldn't stand much of a chance, even if he could speak fluent Italian.

So, you need to reel down what you want, I know it isn't what you want and you think it's a compromise but it isn't really - I mean, what's your social standing in Italy? If you are middle class in Italy yourself and your parents work in a bank or are clerical staff - why would it be so much of a compromise for you to date a (trainee or graduated) nurse? There are tons of nursing students in the Philippines who would make a good wife.

Going for the cream of any society is going to end in failure for the vast majority of foreigners. Just like if any foreigner went to Italy to get their creme de la creme.

And he is still married at that. Yet thinks that in a Catholic country a decent young woman would settle for a married middle aged man because marriage is just a technicality With this fairy tale, he believes he is the one who sees reality and everyone else is in lala land

I am still surprised no filipino father has shot him, which would be well deserved if some middle aged married man were chasing your virgin young daughter.

Yet we are supposed to feel sorry for him I am too busy laughing at how ridiculous it sounds. Adama had him pegged.

Just a hypothetical situation here Krad, but just imagine you had an Italian immigrant down at the shooting club or the local rotary club, some dude, he's all right, but he is 42 and middle aged, and he started asking you and the other okes about your single daughters and nieces in their twenties and if you could make an introduction for him to them - how would it go down with you and your buddies, especially when you find out he's married (and he has been pomping half the girls in the squatter camp outside of town where all the white trash live...)

[Kradmelder]

at Krad's post - but the good intention is there, it comes in an iron fist. Sometimes that's whats needed.

But what would you expect if one of your upstanding, upper class Filipino young men who seems to have the pick of the women you want was to go to Italy and demand that he only wanted the upper class, single beauties who go to the University of Pisa/Florence/Milan....

You'd laugh at him, because he wouldn't stand much of a chance, even if he could speak fluent Italian.

So, you need to reel down what you want, I know it isn't what you want and you think it's a compromise but it isn't really - I mean, what's your social standing in Italy? If you are middle class in Italy yourself and your parents work in a bank or are clerical staff - why would it be so much of a compromise for you to date a (trainee or graduated) nurse? There are tons of nursing students in the Philippines who would make a good wife.

Going for the cream of any society is going to end in failure for the vast majority of foreigners. Just like if any foreigner went to Italy to get their creme de la creme.

And he is still married at that. Yet thinks that in a Catholic country a decent young woman would settle for a married middle aged man because marriage is just a technicality With this fairy tale, he believes he is the one who sees reality and everyone else is in lala land

I am still surprised no filipino father has shot him, which would be well deserved if some middle aged married man were chasing your virgin young daughter.

Yet we are supposed to feel sorry for him I am too busy laughing at how ridiculous it sounds. Adama had him pegged.

Just a hypothetical situation here Krad, but just imagine you had an Italian immigrant down at the shooting club or the local rotary club, some dude, he's all right, but he is 42 and middle aged, and he started asking you and the other okes about your single daughters and nieces in their twenties and if you could make an introduction for him to them - how would it go down with you and your buddies, especially when you find out he's married (and he has been pomping half the girls in the squatter camp outside of town where all the white trash live...)

He would get an introduction to a fist, and if i caught him with a hand on my daughter I would straight shoot him.

A neighbour of mine, his teenage daughter came home and said some black man just made some sexual remark to her down the street. he got in his car, drove down the road and smacked the darkie so hard they had to call an ambulance to take him away.

That is the sort of reception this italian paedophile should expect. Too bad the filipino men are a bit more reserved, but I am sure they feel the same way. If one day he comes and whines some filipinos laid into him, I would be not at all suprised and would drink a toast to filipino men with respects yo good brown men.

The black community would do the same. When a paedophile is caught here, they are desperate for the police to take them away because a black mob will dispose of them in an unpleasant manner.

[Rock]

I've been in touch with Duende from time to time on what's app or occasionally in person. Our most recent exchanges happened just a few days ago. Here are some observations:

1. Sometimes I can be a bit superstitious and perhaps find patterns where they may or may not truly exist. After all, personal anecdotes on a given theme or subject are hard put to reach a statistically significant number of trials. But still, I sometimes feel or even sense that after meeting or chatting with him about this whole adult foreigners and Filipinas topic, I myself suffer some bad luck or at least I become more skeptical and less hopeful about my own lot in the Philippines. Yet if I examine my own track record as an adult foreigner in the Philippines over the last few years, I can only be very grateful about the abundance and quality of local girls who have come my way. I've travelled and expated enough to recognized these last 3+ years for me has been a case of high dating and mating arbitrage.

2. Indeed, I've offered to show Duende evidence via photos of many different girls and documentation of my history. Yet he doesn't seem to be much interested in that. He just shakes his head and either assumes that I only go for girls too fat to be considered attractive by mainstream standards or else that he would not be able to get the same.

He knows that I strongly favor local girls with uni education, taller, lighter skinned, non-smoking, young or youthful, able to communicate well in English, of good character and values, not overly materialistic, and last but not least, without children. While I do go for curves and some of the girls I'm into are significantly overweight, others are still very much within mainstream tastes here. He also knows that I am not fixated on the 0.01% elite category the way he seems to be sometimes. The true elite comprises a population of less than 10,000 whereas the expanding middle and upper middle class consists of many millions of Filipinos.

3. Some things about him confuse me. Last time we met up, he pointed out a couple girls walking by he considered off limits to him and other similar foreigners. Yet these girls were fairly plain and even had apparent physical flaws. But then on another recent occasion, he shows up at the same Starbucks with a very presentable local Uber driver he had chatted up on the ride over and scored an insta date with. As I recall, she was well spoken, had her own car, had good educational background and career, was not at all dark or native looking, had no kids, and was of normal height. When I asked him why he didn't follow up with her, he mumbled something about her being too old (like late 20s) or not attractive enough. Duende do you realize that the upper end of millennial zone you often complain about is already 35?

He's also met Winston's friend Luisa who has almost Korean shaded skin, is fairly tall with a very nice figure, is not materialistic, down to earth, decent (though not elite style) conversation skills, is top of her class at the small school she studies in, is late 20s, no kids, and would be open to date someone like him. Her main flaw is that her face, while cute, has some visible asymmetry and a mole, the former of which could be corrected with Korean 2 jaw surgery and the latter an easy fix with a quick visit to a local derm. I might have introduced him to another one of Winston's friends too but zboy already snapped her up lol. Anyway, I doubt Duende would have been interested.

Finally, just a couple nights ago, I was having a What's App chat both with a professionally employed, wealthy, and well educated Chinoy friend in Cebu and Duende. I sent her his picture and she was also surprised that he struggles so much with dating here. He specifically asked whether any of her 20 something colleagues would be interested in dating a foreigner like him at his age. She answered emphatically, "yes". When I relayed that to Duende, he just said that every time he was ever introduced to anyone, she turned out to be unattractive.

Is he very picky? It seems so. But why does he sometimes point out very ordinary looking girls like he did that time in the mall? Does he have an obsession with elite society here? Probably. Was his previous partner a beauty queen, Rhodes scholar, his true soulmate, best friend, or in some other way gifted? Is he using her as a benchmark for finding his new love? Only Public can answer that.

4. It may very well be true that the playing field is in moving against us 'adult foreigners' in the Philippines. As I told Duende, I have not been very active on dating sites for something like 18 months now. I've either gone the referral route or been w a serious gf as of late. But still, based on my previous points, I think there is more going on than a crumbling dating environment. It appears a big part of the the problem is due to Duende's luck, beliefs, attitude, and actions.

5. I understand that initially, he saw his business plan as having some synergy with his dating goals here. Yet it's turning out that his business is nothing but a big distraction.

Finding and winning over a significantly younger and attractive life parter when you are at mid-life stage will likely require not only great luck but also laser focus, patience, and consistent plus smart effort. On the flip side, building a profitable professional business from scratch in the Philippines as a westerner is one of the most stressful, time consuming, and prone to failure activities I can imagine.

I've run into quite a few white foreigners here who are trying to create one sort of business or another. Some of them have been here for over a decade already and even speak good Tagalog. But the stories remain similar. Many have been waiting for that big deal, major break, or last regulatory approval right around the corner for years now. So many are seriously strapped for cash and already lost large sums of money here.

Philippines is still not a place where the overall climate and vibe will allow you to come in and create a sustainable and profitable business. It's like trying to plug holes in a boat while new holes keep appearing and some of the plugs you've already put in place are being undone. That just seems to be way things operate here. Getting things done and making things work are not part of the collective will. The more time I spend here, the more apparent that becomes.

Much better IMO for Duende is to keep things simple. Work for yourself making first world income in a place like SP and hunt for a wife in places like Phils, Vietnam, Indonesia, etc.

6. Where there's a will, there's a way. Get strong, stand up, and keep up the fight. Be patient in the face of bad luck and stop surrendering to counterproductive beliefs. Give your business a reasonable but firm deadline and if it doesn't come through, cut your losses while you still can find well paid employment as an IT professional in the first world.

[Rock]

at Krad's post - but the good intention is there, it comes in an iron fist. Sometimes that's whats needed.

But what would you expect if one of your upstanding, upper class Filipino young men who seems to have the pick of the women you want was to go to Italy and demand that he only wanted the upper class, single beauties who go to the University of Pisa/Florence/Milan....

You'd laugh at him, because he wouldn't stand much of a chance, even if he could speak fluent Italian.

So, you need to reel down what you want, I know it isn't what you want and you think it's a compromise but it isn't really - I mean, what's your social standing in Italy? If you are middle class in Italy yourself and your parents work in a bank or are clerical staff - why would it be so much of a compromise for you to date a (trainee or graduated) nurse? There are tons of nursing students in the Philippines who would make a good wife.

Going for the cream of any society is going to end in failure for the vast majority of foreigners. Just like if any foreigner went to Italy to get their creme de la creme.

And he is still married at that. Yet thinks that in a Catholic country a decent young woman would settle for a married middle aged man because marriage is just a technicality With this fairy tale, he believes he is the one who sees reality and everyone else is in lala land

I am still surprised no filipino father has shot him, which would be well deserved if some middle aged married man were chasing your virgin young daughter.

Yet we are supposed to feel sorry for him I am too busy laughing at how ridiculous it sounds. Adama had him pegged.

Just a hypothetical situation here Krad, but just imagine you had an Italian immigrant down at the shooting club or the local rotary club, some dude, he's all right, but he is 42 and middle aged, and he started asking you and the other okes about your single daughters and nieces in their twenties and if you could make an introduction for him to them - how would it go down with you and your buddies, especially when you find out he's married (and he has been pomping half the girls in the squatter camp outside of town where all the white trash live...)

He would get an introduction to a fist, and if i caught him with a hand on my daughter I would straight shoot him.

A neighbour of mine, his teenage daughter came home and said some black man just made some sexual remark to her down the street. he got in his car, drove down the road and smacked the darkie so hard they had to call an ambulance to take him away.

That is the sort of reception this italian paedophile should expect. Too bad the filipino men are a bit more reserved, but I am sure they feel the same way. If one day he comes and whines some filipinos laid into him, I would be not at all suprised and would drink a toast to filipino men with respects yo good brown men.

The black community would do the same. When a paedophile is caught here, they are desperate for the police to take them away because a black mob will dispose of them in an unpleasant manner.

Why accuse Duende of being a pedo? He's only expressed attraction to certain young but completely legal adults on this forum.

What would you do if Donald Trump, who is much older than Duende and probably whiter than you, showed up one day and grabbed your daughter by the...? He may have already done it with his...never mind.

[Kradmelder]

So Rock you say there ARE quite a few available decent educated professional women there, with no kids and light skinned. You are meeting them and you pulled one in. I assume you are also white and that was not a barrier. Far cry from his there are NO quality women. Now if the women are there, and probably in most countries, why is it you can meet them, I meet them, 90% of men meet them, but we are supposed to believe this whiner that they don't exist? With that attitude he won't meet any, and if he does, they will politely make excuses to get as far away as possible. Maybe that is why Italy is shaped like a boot. They couldn't fit all that shit into a shoe .

[publicduende]

Publicduende,

If you are still married to someone else, your chances of getting a high quality woman in the Philippines could be quite low, and rightfully so.

I have been separated for more than two years and the divorce (in Colombia) will take about 15 days to process, since we have no kids and assets in common. For all the doubts I have about how to proceed with my love life, the one thing I am sure about is that, as soon as I find the woman I like/want, I can be divorced quickly and do what I have to do (provided what I have to do is marry again in the only country in the world where divorce does not exist!).

So, I certainly don't feel guilty when I tell everybody I am "divorced" instead of "separated".

[Zambales]

From what Rock detailed, it does sound like you have a commitment phobia, Duende, which can stem from a previous relationship.

People with a commitment phobia long and want a long-term connection with another person, but their overwhelming anxiety prevents them from staying in any relationship for too long. If pressed for a commitment, they are far more likely to leave the relationship than to make the commitment. Or they may initially agree to the commitment, then back down days or weeks later, because of their overwhelming anxiety and fears.

Some people with relationship anxiety may confuse positive feelings of excitement for another person and the potential of a relationship with the feelings of anxiety. For instance, normal feelings of anticipation or may be misconstrued by the person as a panic reaction, or general negative anxiousness. Some may also just have a difficult time resolving the inherent conflict of romantic relationships — the craving of intimacy while wanting to retain their own individuality and freedom.

People with commitment issues come in all shapes and sizes, and their exact dating and relationship behaviors can vary. Some refuse to have any serious or long-term relationships longer than a week or a month, because of their fears. Others may be able to be involved with one person for a few months, but as the relationship becomes more serious and deeper, their old fears again come to the forefront, driving the person away.

Both men and women can suffer from relationship anxiety and commitment phobia, although traditionally it was thought primarily to be a male problem.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/ ... p-anxiety/

[publicduende]

why on earth would I go to the Phillipines for women when I can find decent white one here? I would never do brown anyway.

Yes I am sure about it because I know quite few decent women. And I don't mean pump and dump, although that is available as well. I would not look for early 20s. That is close to my daughter's age, so why would I want to do that? At 42, it would be a woman that can be your daughter. And you still wonder why they run?

Of course dude, I did not ask you to come over here. I just need you to understand that you can't judge until you at least know the kind of women you could find here.

In the UK or US or Italy or Germany it's quite possible to find very decent, good looking (and well maintained), unmarried women in their mid or late 30s who are well educated, with an interesting personality, hobbies and readings, the whole lot. You might be able to catch them after they split up and ready to move on. If they are really quality, there will be competition and that's where (at least in part) I agree with you: for a quality lady, a man has to take out his fangs and balls and show her that he is not the best choice, but the only choice for her. Masculine pride and all that.

Now, move your ass over here if you care and you will see something different.

Whether they're dirt poor, middle class or business royalty, whether they are 2-year diploma college drop-outs or PhD holders, whether their ambitions are to stick to a man for support or build the next big start-up thing and make a billionaire exit...all Filipinas are naturally groomed to be wives and mothers. And they will be one and/or the other very soon, in fact as soon as they can.

This means that, if you look at the age range that you think would be suitable for a man my age (or yours), the mid to late 30s, you will see that virtually ALL of these women are married and certainly with kids. Like I said before, Filipinas would rather not be married or never have a serious relationship again, than give up their motherhood. This makes it very, very hard to find quality women who tick all the boxes in the brains and looks departments and yet, as if by some obscure twist of fate, are single, never married, with no kids and...waiting for you!

Add to the mix that divorce does not exist and its equivalent here, annulment, is lengthy and expensive to obtain. And top up with a powerful adultery law (http://ndvlaw.com/how-to-sue-your-wife- ... ilippines/) that favours the man, so the cheated party in my hypothetical relationship with the woman. You will see that it's not so advisable to go for women who are married.

LOL if you think I am bronze-faced by saying I am divorced instead of separated, you should see the massive number of women who puts themselves back into the dating market telling everybody that they're single, when they're in fact still married - with no mutually agreed closure (annulment) in sight. Filipinos know this and consider them single by all means. My former secretary is 30 and a mom of 5 (!), still married to an asshole husband and yet was able to land another married man, a father of 1, who is in Manila and quite well off.

This means...you got it. I am not looking for 20-something girls because I am a perv or have a fetish for young(er) flesh. I am painfully aware that most of them will be too immature for me, and that is in fact it's one of the main reasons why I write them off so quickly for a long term relationship.

I am looking for girls in their mid to late 20s because that's the borderline age where I can still hope to find them unmarried with no kids. Again, a tall order, yet maybe possible. I have no kids and I am not ready to be an insta-daddy, especially knowing that support will be immediately on me unless mom has a good job (she almost never has). I don't want to have trouble with husbands who will sue me for adultery knowing I am a Kano, therefore capable to shell out cash, so I try to avoid married women for anything more than the occasional fling.

So this brings me where I am now. I hope I won't have to repeat myself on this, especially to refute the meaner of your accusations. Mention something about me liking 'em young because I am loser or something once more, and you'll go straight into my ignore list.

[publicduende]

But what would you expect if one of your upstanding, upper class Filipino young men who seems to have the pick of the women you want was to go to Italy and demand that he only wanted the upper class, single beauties who go to the University of Pisa/Florence/Milan....

I never said I want the upper class beauties. You guys keep confusing my reference to my well-established friends (Rotary etc.) and my desire to get a smart and pretty girl. I don't care about her background, although it is a statistical fact that, at least in a country plagued by socio-economic inequality and lack of upward mobility like the Philippines, the well educated girls are usually at least middle class, and most middle class girls are usually educated.

[Adama]

why on earth would I go to the Phillipines for women when I can find decent white one here? I would never do brown anyway.

Yes I am sure about it because I know quite few decent women. And I don't mean pump and dump, although that is available as well. I would not look for early 20s. That is close to my daughter's age, so why would I want to do that? At 42, it would be a woman that can be your daughter. And you still wonder why they run?

Of course dude, I did not ask you to come over here. I just need you to understand that you can't judge until you at least know the kind of women you could find here.

In the UK or US or Italy or Germany it's quite possible to find very decent, good looking (and well maintained), unmarried women in their mid or late 30s who are well educated, with an interesting personality, hobbies and readings, the whole lot. You might be able to catch them after they split up and ready to move on. If they are really quality, there will be competition and that's where (at least in part) I agree with you: for a quality lady, a man has to take out his fangs and balls and show her that he is not the best choice, but the only choice for her. Masculine pride and all that.

Now, move your ass over here if you care and you will see something different.

Whether they're dirt poor, middle class or business royalty, whether they are 2-year diploma college drop-outs or PhD holders, whether their ambitions are to stick to a man for support or build the next big start-up thing and make a billionaire exit...all Filipinas are naturally groomed to be wives and mothers. And they will be one and/or the other very soon, in fact as soon as they can.

This means that, if you look at the age range that you think would be suitable for a man my age (or yours), the mid to late 30s, you will see that virtually ALL of these women are married and certainly with kids. Like I said before, Filipinas would rather not be married or never have a serious relationship again, than give up their motherhood. This makes it very, very hard to find quality women who tick all the boxes in the brains and looks departments and yet, as if by some obscure twist of fate, are single, never married, with no kids and...waiting for you!

Add to the mix that divorce does not exist and its equivalent here, annulment, is lengthy and expensive to obtain. And top up with a powerful adultery law (http://ndvlaw.com/how-to-sue-your-wife- ... ilippines/) that favours the man, so the cheated party in my hypothetical relationship with the woman. You will see that it's not so advisable to go for women who are married.

LOL if you think I am bronze-faced by saying I am divorced instead of separated, you should see the massive number of women who puts themselves back into the dating market telling everybody that they're single, when they're in fact still married - with no mutually agreed closure (annulment) in sight. Filipinos know this and consider them single by all means. My former secretary is 30 and a mom of 5 (!), still married to an asshole husband and yet was able to land another married man, a father of 1, who is in Manila and quite well off.

This means...you got it. I am not looking for 20-something girls because I am a perv or have a fetish for young(er) flesh. I am painfully aware that most of them will be too immature for me, and that is in fact it's one of the main reasons why I write them off so quickly for a long term relationship.

I am looking for girls in their mid to late 20s because that's the borderline age where I can still hope to find them unmarried with no kids. Again, a tall order, yet maybe possible. I have no kids and I am not ready to be an insta-daddy, especially knowing that support will be immediately on me unless mom has a good job (she almost never has). I don't want to have trouble with husbands who will sue me for adultery knowing I am a Kano, therefore capable to shell out cash, so I try to avoid married women for anything more than the occasional fling.

So this brings me where I am now. I hope I won't have to repeat myself on this, especially to refute the meaner of your accusations. Mention something about me liking 'em young because I am loser or something once more, and you'll go straight into my ignore list.

Is it the case that you are a married-separated man looking for a separated-yet-still-married woman? Apparently the rules mean nothing. Why do people even bother with marriage when they turn it into mockery? God is going to hold people to those vows. These people are going to be in trouble. And it is not fiction but truth. Vows and promises are serious business.

If there are women doing such things as you wrote above, that still wouldn't make it just for a married person to present themselves as otherwise. Moral people need to know the proper answers, because moral people want to keep the laws of God. Basically if women don't know, you're pulling them into sin with you, if they connect with you. That's very bad for both parties, but especially you, having misled them intentionally.