Culture shock. "Borrowing" money.

[ladislav]

The Philippines is a communal SE Asian culture in which friends or relatives are supposed to help each other. A friend with more money should help one with less money.
However, in order to not lose face, if one wants to request money, one uses the word" borrow" . Both the giver and the receiver know it just means "give".
A foreigner does not know that. Just like foreigners in America do not know that " I 'll give you a call" or " We should get together sometime" mean nothing.
So the foreigners lend money and then expect to collect it . This results in bitter feelings.
Enter " When in Rome" .
This is how Filipinos would handle it.
' Can I borrow P3000 please?'
' Oh, no. I just sent all the money to my daughter for her college. But I have 20 pesos I can give you. Try next week'.
'Can I borrow money? I need P 3000. '
' Darn! I just sent it to my sister, she is in hospital. Try next week'.
'Can I borrow P3000. '
'Oh, you know, my wife handles all the money . She is in Manila now. You wanna try an text her and ask her? In the meantime, I can give you P 10
My wife will be back from Manila next week, you can ask her personally" ( She will tell them to come next week, next month, etc. Ad infinitum. .
Face saved, money saved, no hostility.
Wisdom the Filipino way.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

and this is why I don't have friends in the RP. I pump and dump or smash and trash or fck and chuck treat myself to Jollibees and McD's daily and K.I.S.S. life on the kisser!

[Jackfruits]

and this is why I don't have friends in the RP. I pump and dump or smash and trash or fck and chuck treat myself to Jollibees and McD's daily and K.I.S.S. life on the kisser!

I prefer to have less friends in life in general for this

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

and this is why I don't have friends in the RP. I pump and dump or smash and trash or fck and chuck treat myself to Jollibees and McD's daily and K.I.S.S. life on the kisser!

I prefer to have less friends in life in general for this

Yup that is what it has been relegated to because at least with the pump and dump, the sex feels good and gives NON-VIRTUAL stimulation which is sensory that's REAL. When people talk and don't follow through being true to their word, that makes them charlatan and not of virtue, but virtual imho...which is sensory that is FAKE.

In a perfect world, I'd fawn at the opportunity to have a hybrid lifestyle that I have the realest, coolest non-sexual friends AND smash the hottest girls sexually for no money...just acquiescence on hand and foot because I want it like that. Hey I ran out of crypto and cash tender, can I stay for free and fcuk you to the nines with no time limit and not shave your p***y because you have no STDs to mask? Or to my realest and coolest friends sector, "Hey guys I ran out of money. Can I stay for free and eat up all of your food and you will replace it unconditionally without getting inside your feelings?". Talk about wishful thinking, dreaming, and delusion; I know: say it, say it. *sigh*

[Jackfruits]

Read French philosopher Rousseau's Social contract theory or watch it on YouTube. That's pretty much how I look at life.

[publicduende]

@ladislav

Asking for money is a cultural thing, but only involves the masa, the lower class which, understood, makes up the bulk of Filipinos, especially outside the large cities and towns.

The simple excuses ("when in Rome") you listed tend not to work with foreigners because Filipinos know they are not tied to their meagre bi-weekly wages, or don't give any authority over their finances to their semi-illiterate 20-something wives. With a foreigner who lives in a nice condo in the centre of Manila or Cebu, and travels abroad several times a year, it's hard to pretend that the wife is managing all the money, or they are short of cash for the next 2 weeks. Foreigners are, on average, much wealthier and more financially stable than the locals all around them. Full stop.

Personally, having lived in the Philippines continuously for 7 years, I have given up on the excuses. When somebody asks me for "a loan" with that faux-innocent smile, I simply say things like "no" and "why should I?". If that makes me lose face with a bunch of under-educated, lazy or greedy men or women I don't want to have anything to do with in the first place, that's jolly good by me.

Of course, from time to time, I am forced to interact with people who might ask for money. Good examples are the contractors and workers who renovated my condo in Davao last year and those who are doing the same in my Ortigas condo. I try to keep a very casual, professional relationship with them, making them feel proud if they do something well and guilty if they don't. Sometimes I feel like I am dealing with dogs in training, or small children and I feel something's wrong. Yet, there's nothing that can be helped - this is the Filipino masa mentality.

Vice-versa, whenever possible, I try to open up more with acquaintances and friends who hail from the upper echelon of society. People who are more established, richer than me and, obviously, well educated, well travelled and better exposed to the ways of the civilised world. Not easy because those kinds of people tend to live in their own self-referential bubbles and are the least likely to bond with a foreigner unless they have to. Again, I have perhaps 2 or 3 friends and acquaintances like that and I don't meet them so often anyway, perhaps 2 or 3 times a year.

The bulk of my friends and acquaintances are, you would have guessed, expats and foreigners here. Again, functional relationships mostly, no real deep friendships there.

[publicduende]

and this is why I don't have friends in the RP. I pump and dump or smash and trash or fck and chuck treat myself to Jollibees and McD's daily and K.I.S.S. life on the kisser!

You can find the same mentality in some areas in Latin America. My ex wife knew a few people in urban Medellin who behaved exactly like that, What was worse, they were pretending to have emergencies and life-threatening problems when, in fact, they needed the cash to repay other debt contracted with people "slightly" more aggressive than her, or gamble it away.

That's another tell-tale sign of ignorance toxically mixed with greed. When someone needs money to pay for some stupid Ponzi scheme which, in their minds, will allow them to pay back their debt quickly while making a massive, painless profit. With all the information available online about what sound financial management is, I have ZERO pity for people like these.