"Paglalambing"

[ladislav]

Let's study Tagalog. The term today is:
Pag-lalambing
(pr: pug- lah-lum-BING)
It lit. means: "endearing oneself to".
Root word: "lambing" ( to endear);" malambing" means: "affectionate".
In simple English, it means to be coily affectionate to someone to get noticed. But in its bad sense it means "to ingratiate oneself/ to butter someone up before asking for something, to ingratiate yourself with someone to get something'".A type of passive aggressive behavior.
If in a physical environment, suddenly a person begins circling you, greeting you with a smile, and being nice in general.
Or they, out of the blue, start texting or messaging you on FB you with a simple " Good morning" and nothing else. They just type "good morning" and disappear. Then, they repeat the same thing in the afternoon and the evening.
On some occasions, they invite you to eat out and smile profusely while treating you, either saying nothing or just carrying on small talk.
The next step is hinting, not asking for anything directly:
"I have to enroll in a course". ( So, why are you telling me this? Go and enroll.)
"I'd really like to join that parade." ( Why do you need my permission? Go and march!)
"I'll be meeting my father today and discussing my rent problems with him". ( Good luck, hope your father can pay it).
If these do not work, a sob story follows, but still in an indirect, hinting mode. " I'm so worried about my school fees. "
If this does not work, either, they become very direct and often present you with an invoice or a bill that they need to pay. "My friend, do you think you can help me with this? It's 20,000 pesos ONLY!"
" I need to go to Bahrain to work, but I need P15,000 ONLY for my visa. ( this time, no invoice, no exact proof it anywhere, they just got the sum out of thin air.)
After the bleeding heart "porener" parts with his money, both celebrate and both feel like heroes. It's win-win NOT as the receiving party is often going to do something else with your money. Like paying off some gambling debts.
Trust but verify.
And beware of the bad use of paglalambing!

[publicduende]

Fantastic post @ladislav, enjoyed it

If may suggest, on your next instalment you may dwell a bit on the naughtier version of paglalambing, paglalanding.

[Gali]

Let's study Tagalog. The term today is:
Pag-lalambing
(pr: pug- lah-lum-BING)
It lit. means: "endearing oneself to".
Root word: "lambing" ( to endear);" malambing" means: "affectionate".
In simple English, it means "to butter someone up before asking for something, to ingratiate yourself with someone to get something'".A type of passive aggressive behavior.
If in a physical environment, suddenly a person begins circling you, greeting you with a smile, and being nice in general.
Or they, out of the blue, start texting or messaging you on FB you with a simple " Good morning" and nothing else. They just type "good morning" and disappear. Then, they repeat the same thing in the afternoon and the evening.
On some occasions, they invite you to eat out and smile profusely while treating you, either saying nothing or just carrying on small talk.
The next step is hinting, not asking for anything directly:
"I have to enroll in a course". ( So, why are you telling me this? Go and enroll.)
"I'd really like to join that parade." ( Why do you need my permission? Go and march!)
"I'll be meeting my father today and discussing my rent problems with him". ( Good luck, hope your father can pay it).
If these do not work, a sob story follows, but still in an indirect, hinting mode. " I'm so worried about my school fees. "
If this does not work, either, they become very direct and often present you with an invoice or a bill that they need to pay. "My friend, do you think you can help me with this? It's 20,000 pesos ONLY!"
" I need to go to Bahrain to work, but I need P15,000 ONLY for my visa. ( this time, no invoice, no exact proof it anywhere, they just got the sum out of thin air.)
After the bleeding heart "porener" parts with his money, both celebrate and both feel like heroes. It's win-win NOT as the receiving party is often going to do something else with your money. Like paying off some gambling debts.
Trust but verify.
And beware of paglalambing!

That is perfect a perfect conversation for White Knights. A goal for a hero.

[publicduende]

That is perfect a perfect conversation for White Knights. A goal for a hero.

I used to turn into a blob of tears every time a Filipina, especially a young and pretty one, would talk to me about the ultimate sob story involving her granny, cousin or next-door neighbor. Medical or job-related emergencies do occur, as they are endemic with the Filipino typical financial management style of "earn 10 today, spend 5 tonight and 6 tomorrow". Sometimes it's a sad reality that, even the most disciplined double-income households just don't have the kind of saving power that allows them to face hospital bills of 40K+ for Grandpa's surgery, or several months of no-benefit unemployment.

All of this is true but, whenever it happens, it's usually the Dad or Mom, or an adult, who goes to the porener cap in hand. Even in the event of a necessity, no morally-sound family would even entertain the idea of sending their cute, unmarried daughter to ask their 60-yo foreign friend for a loan.

This is why, whenever we hear the sob story from a young Filipina, it's 90% bullcrap and the money they will receive will, at best, cover a necessary expense that ought to have been covered ages before but wasn't because said Filipina decided to divert the cash towards something else. At worst, it's party money, which will be spent on a few boozy nights with friends, or a new digital gadget.

Once a friend here who runs a small hotel told me that, starting a couple of decades ago or so, he saw a peak in locals booking up rooms a couple of weeks before the beginning of college semesters, so May and November. As he soon found out, these were the weeks when hundreds of girls who spent their tuition cash on something else, or they genuinely didn't have the money to enroll, started to panic.

So here's your nice supply & demand problem! Lots of girls willing to make 10, 20k in a few days (or nights). Lots of available men flocking from all corners of Mindanao, booking private rooms to do the deed in exchange for that cash.

[Gali]

That is perfect a perfect conversation for White Knights. A goal for a hero.

I used to turn into a blob of tears every time a Filipina, especially a young and pretty one, would talk to me about the ultimate sob story involving her granny, cousin or next-door neighbor. Medical or job-related emergencies do occur, as they are endemic with the Filipino typical financial management style of "earn 10 today, spend 5 tonight and 6 tomorrow". Sometimes it's a sad reality that, even the most disciplined double-income households just don't have the kind of saving power that allows them to face hospital bills of 40K+ for Grandpa's surgery, or several months of no-benefit unemployment.

All of this is true but, whenever it happens, it's usually the Dad or Mom, or an adult, who goes to the porener cap in hand. Even in the event of a necessity, no morally-sound family would even entertain the idea of sending their cute, unmarried daughter to ask their 60-yo foreign friend for a loan.

This is why, whenever we hear the sob story from a young Filipina, it's 90% bullcrap and the money they will receive will, at best, cover a necessary expense that ought to have been covered ages before but wasn't because said Filipina decided to divert the cash towards something else. At worst, it's party money, which will be spent on a few boozy nights with friends, or a new digital gadget.

Once a friend here who runs a small hotel told me that, starting a couple of decades ago or so, he saw a peak in locals booking up rooms a couple of weeks before the beginning of college semesters, so May and November. As he soon found out, these were the weeks when hundreds of girls who spent their tuition cash on something else, or they genuinely didn't have the money to enroll, started to panic.

So here's your nice supply & demand problem! Lots of girls willing to make 10, 20k in a few days (or nights). Lots of available men flocking from all corners of Mindanao, booking private rooms to do the deed in exchange for that cash.

No need for Hollywood drama when you are in the PH. Specially we heard these stories and about these stories 10 times a day in AC. It is a good training against falling in love too easily and not to become a poor fool.