Hidden Costs of Schooling GF in PH

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yick
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Re: Hidden Costs of Schooling GF in PH

Post by yick »

publicduende wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 4:35 pm
Shemp wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 4:53 am
IMO, whenever there are big wealth or age differences, but especially if both, then best get the relationship on a sugar baby basis ASAP, to avoid miscommunication. It may or may not be cheaper this way, but at least there are no big surprises in the negative direction.
It happened to me at least twice. Unfortunately, it was with girls who were hotter than average and much better than average at the sex craft. With one of them, we had a very steam Sunday doing it all day, to which she said she would meet me the following Friday at the mall. On the day, she texted me instructions to meet her in front of a particular corridor kiosk selling Timex watches. While waiting, I wondered why that specific place, but only until she promptly told me she really loved Timex and she was interested in a particular timepiece, costing around P5,000.

Lost the grace, lost the irony, I thanked her for the big boobs and the sex and told her that I didn't consider a single day of sex with her worth P5,000. The very fact that she had been making excuses not to meet me until the following Friday only meant one thing: she had a bf and was doing the side gigs in the hope of getting some quick material rewards out of it.

Could I have kept her as a sugar babe? Maybe so. But if, in her mind, a single one-day session commanded 5K, it was anybody's guess how much in gifts (or cash equivalent) she would have wanted for 5 or 6 days of her undivided company a month.

The miscommunication is all in the man's head. Even the absolutely dumbest of the Filipinas I met, like the one above, made it abundantly clear if and when they were expecting money or gift back to me. Sure, it hurts a man's pride to have the reality been slapped on our faces, the reality being that you need to look like George Clooney or Brad Pitt to be in your late 40s or early 50s and have a girl half your age being genuinely attracted to your physique.

I mean, there are lottery-thin chances that the girl may have a massive daddy fetish or may be attracted to older bodies (and minds!). By experience, this almost never happens in the Philippines. Girls naturally like the young, fresh, naturally muscular body of a young man of the same age, maybe 5 years older max. Being with a foreign man in their late 50s is, for them, a means to an end. This doesn't mean affection won't develop, and that affection will turn into love. Yet, the premises are less than natural, less than obvious.

As documented on these very pages, which some members might still recall, the nasty bundle of pride that is me took a long time to come to terms with this simple reality. I am happily married with a wonderful, youthful-looking and incredibly smart girl 19 years younger than me. She keeps saying I am a "manly man" and she finds me hot. Beyond the flattering, the thought of whether she likes the likes of me because she lost her dad at an early age and never had a chance to fully enjoy his paternal embrace, grazes me from time to time. Again, up until 2 years ago it used to concern me. Now, significantly less f*cks are given.
Shemp wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 4:53 am
It is almost always cheaper and safer for a man who is wealthier than the girl to pay per meet than to marry. Paying per meet turns you into a milk cow, who is carefully kept alive and happy so it keeps producing milk as long as possible. Mistreat the cow and the milk supply instantly stops. Marrying turns you into a meat cow: lots of trouble to keep you alive but big payoff when you finally die, thus incentive to accelerate time of death.
Not necessarily, @Shemp. At least not necessarily here in the Philippines, where people are often inconsequential and lazy. She might get tired of having her bits stretched by a horny man in his 40s and maybe opt for a much older Korean or Japanese, with more propensity for gift-giving than sexual appetite. She might entertain multiple men and naturally build a pecking order where, once again, it's the one with the least to demand and the more to offer who wins. And so on...
Good post!

I have taught thousands of Asian girls - Chinese and Korean girls - teenagers and girls barely in their twenties and more or less every single one of them apart from about twenty or thirty of them have Chinese and Korean pop stars/actors on their wall and on their phones.

They're not as interested in white guys as white guys think they are - I remember some white guy going on about his 'blue eyes' being a factor when it isn't a factor at all! I am sure it is the same for Filipinas and the classier ones are probably more rigid regards this.

It's good in a way because it's your money and you're in charge! Of course male ego and pride gets in the way and it is a dent in that pride and ego when the realisation that you have to pay for it in one way or another and if the funds stopped so will access to her pert body but this is a half glass full/empty scenario.

There are always going to be exceptions but I don't think most Asian girls in any country within that continent find white, western guys more attractive than their own men - they might find your wallet attractive, but from my knowledge of teaching young Chinese women they are not particulary enamoured with white westerners and quadruple that lack of interest about men 20-30 years older than them! That's a big no-no - even if they actually find you attractive!
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publicduende
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Re: Hidden Costs of Schooling GF in PH

Post by publicduende »

yick wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 8:24 pm
Good post!

I have taught thousands of Asian girls - Chinese and Korean girls - teenagers and girls barely in their twenties and more or less every single one of them apart from about twenty or thirty of them have Chinese and Korean pop stars/actors on their wall and on their phones.

They're not as interested in white guys as white guys think they are - I remember some white guy going on about his 'blue eyes' being a factor when it isn't a factor at all! I am sure it is the same for Filipinas and the classier ones are probably more rigid regards this.

It's good in a way because it's your money and you're in charge! Of course male ego and pride gets in the way and it is a dent in that pride and ego when the realisation that you have to pay for it in one way or another and if the funds stopped so will access to her pert body but this is a half glass full/empty scenario.

There are always going to be exceptions but I don't think most Asian girls in any country within that continent find white, western guys more attractive than their own men - they might find your wallet attractive, but from my knowledge of teaching young Chinese women they are not particulary enamoured with white westerners and quadruple that lack of interest about men 20-30 years older than them! That's a big no-no - even if they actually find you attractive!
Thanks!

I think it's been dissected to the marrow, why Filipinos and Filipinas seem to fancy white men. Every time I ventured into this kind of conversation, the answers were always the same: it's all about the white skins and the pointy noses. As you say, blue eyes don't register much, and neither do blonde or light hair.

Filipinas, especially the more dark-skinned ones from poor rural backgrounds, know that their skin is almost a "social class passport" that will be carried with them for life. It's all natural for them to dream that, among the perks of having a child with a white foreigners, there's the high probability that said child will be much fairer-skinned and much less flat-nosed than them.

A Filipina I met a few years ago was cute but very, very dark. So dark she could have passed for a Somalian or a Sri-lankan. She had a young daughter from an American man, not a good man at all as it later turned out. I never met her but, judging from the photos she showed me, she looked nothing like her mom, she was white skinned and with mostly Western features, with only a hint of Asian-ness in her eyes.

She told me that, every single time she would walk around with her, doing shopping with her, taking her to the doctor, etc. compliments about her daughter's good looks would pour plentiful and unsolicited. Yet, never once any of these people thought she was the biological mother. They always thought the mom was actually the yaya (nanny) or a servant accompanying the girl.

At first, she said, she would feel offended. Over time, she started to feel amused and slightly "vindicated", by having a girl of her own who looked so much whiter than her, that they couldn't recognise her as her daughter!

Back to the subject of male pride, it's also a matter of putting the right value to your side of the transaction. Yes, you need, say, P5,000 for a night with her. Yet, come to think of it, P5,000 is more than 100 USD. It's more than what a teacher would make in 2 weeks. It's more than what they would make in 3 weeks, slaving away 6 days a week, 10 hours a day in a mall. The incentive for them to give away their sexual commodity for a relatively high reward, is there and is very high.

I admit I did pay a few girls for sex, back in the old days. After one or two missteps, I learned pretty quickly how to give these kinds of transactions their market value. I never paid more than P3K and, if the transaction was on the table from the beginning, I wouldn't even entertain the idea of treating them to a lunch or dinner. It was a P150 Starbucks coffee and down to business.

I think this kind of behaviour was not out of thrift. It was me, more or less unconsciously, giving a much lower value to sex without physical interest, let alone attraction or passion. No matter how hot, educated and classy-looking, a girl who didn't show any connection would immediately feel like a waste of money. Vice-versa, I would much more enjoy girls who were shier, harder to please, harder to get but, once caught their interest, would show genuine interest in spending time with me.

The vast majority of these girls, and I mean 95 out of 100, never asked me anything explicitly. They knew they were treated well, they knew they were knowing me as my sweetest, my most passionate and my most generous.
yick
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Re: Hidden Costs of Schooling GF in PH

Post by yick »

publicduende wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 9:05 pm
yick wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 8:24 pm
Good post!

I have taught thousands of Asian girls - Chinese and Korean girls - teenagers and girls barely in their twenties and more or less every single one of them apart from about twenty or thirty of them have Chinese and Korean pop stars/actors on their wall and on their phones.

They're not as interested in white guys as white guys think they are - I remember some white guy going on about his 'blue eyes' being a factor when it isn't a factor at all! I am sure it is the same for Filipinas and the classier ones are probably more rigid regards this.

It's good in a way because it's your money and you're in charge! Of course male ego and pride gets in the way and it is a dent in that pride and ego when the realisation that you have to pay for it in one way or another and if the funds stopped so will access to her pert body but this is a half glass full/empty scenario.

There are always going to be exceptions but I don't think most Asian girls in any country within that continent find white, western guys more attractive than their own men - they might find your wallet attractive, but from my knowledge of teaching young Chinese women they are not particulary enamoured with white westerners and quadruple that lack of interest about men 20-30 years older than them! That's a big no-no - even if they actually find you attractive!
Thanks!

I think it's been dissected to the marrow, why Filipinos and Filipinas seem to fancy white men. Every time I ventured into this kind of conversation, the answers were always the same: it's all about the white skins and the pointy noses. As you say, blue eyes don't register much, and neither do blonde or light hair.

Filipinas, especially the more dark-skinned ones from poor rural backgrounds, know that their skin is almost a "social class passport" that will be carried with them for life. It's all natural for them to dream that, among the perks of having a child with a white foreigners, there's the high probability that said child will be much fairer-skinned and much less flat-nosed than them.

A Filipina I met a few years ago was cute but very, very dark. So dark she could have passed for a Somalian or a Sri-lankan. She had a young daughter from an American man, not a good man at all as it later turned out. I never met her but, judging from the photos she showed me, she looked nothing like her mom, she was white skinned and with mostly Western features, with only a hint of Asian-ness in her eyes.

She told me that, every single time she would walk around with her, doing shopping with her, taking her to the doctor, etc. compliments about her daughter's good looks would pour plentiful and unsolicited. Yet, never once any of these people thought she was the biological mother. They always thought the mom was actually the yaya (nanny) or a servant accompanying the girl.

At first, she said, she would feel offended. Over time, she started to feel amused and slightly "vindicated", by having a girl of her own who looked so much whiter than her, that they couldn't recognise her as her daughter!

Back to the subject of male pride, it's also a matter of putting the right value to your side of the transaction. Yes, you need, say, P5,000 for a night with her. Yet, come to think of it, P5,000 is more than 100 USD. It's more than what a teacher would make in 2 weeks. It's more than what they would make in 3 weeks, slaving away 6 days a week, 10 hours a day in a mall. The incentive for them to give away their sexual commodity for a relatively high reward, is there and is very high.

I admit I did pay a few girls for sex, back in the old days. After one or two missteps, I learned pretty quickly how to give these kinds of transactions their market value. I never paid more than P3K and, if the transaction was on the table from the beginning, I wouldn't even entertain the idea of treating them to a lunch or dinner. It was a P150 Starbucks coffee and down to business.

I think this kind of behaviour was not out of thrift. It was me, more or less unconsciously, giving a much lower value to sex without physical interest, let alone attraction or passion. No matter how hot, educated and classy-looking, a girl who didn't show any connection would immediately feel like a waste of money. Vice-versa, I would much more enjoy girls who were shier, harder to please, harder to get but, once caught their interest, would show genuine interest in spending time with me.

The vast majority of these girls, and I mean 95 out of 100, never asked me anything explicitly. They knew they were treated well, they knew they were knowing me as my sweetest, my most passionate and my most generous.
Exactly, here in China, they might like height or if a westerner has 'big' or 'deep' eyes but the actual racial fetish isn't here really though there are some things that are more common amongst westerners than their own people but I have rarely known any Chinese woman to have a preference for a westerner over their own though I know they exist they're definitely a minority and that is definitely true about Chinese men and western women - I knew a very pretty blonde woman in her early twenties who wouldn't be short of suitors back home get swatted away from some Chinese guy around her age - I thought it might have been that he was shy/felt awkward etc but nope, apart from the initial excitement of her interest in him, he wasn't really interested in her.

That is another good point is realising not just your worth but their worth also - a great point is Miss Big Boobs who wanted a 5000 peso watch which I know you could have afforded but the fact that she only bothered to make the next appointment to buy her this watch meant that she didn't value your time or money that much and she probably had someone (or more...) on the side but that you realise your value meant you were able to walk away.

I suppose you could have bartered her down but the price would have kept going up as soon as you agreed to a minimum of what was expected - I am sure some of the really young girls - teenagers of 18 wouldn't be so bold and would rather dress it up as 'school fees' in regarding saving face/risk of face loss but still - all types of transactions exist and as long as you can see it for what it is and treat it as such - if one such 'girlfriend' is a good lay - give her some of what she is asking for and if you ring her again for another roll in the hay and she is busy or you go straight on to answerphone then find another one.

Also, like you have pointed out - there are big differences between occasional lays asking for money and girls who like you and your company being treated well and spoiled upon - one needs to know the difference but also one needs to take time to find and court these girls properly like you stated.
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publicduende
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Re: Hidden Costs of Schooling GF in PH

Post by publicduende »

yick wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 9:29 pm
Exactly, here in China, they might like height or if a westerner has 'big' or 'deep' eyes but the actual racial fetish isn't here really though there are some things that are more common amongst westerners than their own people but I have rarely known any Chinese woman to have a preference for a westerner over their own though I know they exist they're definitely a minority and that is definitely true about Chinese men and western women - I knew a very pretty blonde woman in her early twenties who wouldn't be short of suitors back home get swatted away from some Chinese guy around her age - I thought it might have been that he was shy/felt awkward etc but nope, apart from the initial excitement of her interest in him, he wasn't really interested in her.
I have never had direct accounts of Chinese men not liking Western girls but your story seems to drive the point home. Most Asian culture seem to cherish specific traits they consider markers of beauty, and not much else. I think we can agree the fair skin is a universal across all of Asia, as it's traditionally associated with purity and with minimal exposure to sunlight (in itself a sign of a more refined lifestyle). Same for flat nose, it's an Austronesian/Malay trait that is associated with populations Asians traditionally considered underdeveloped, therefore inferior. And, as my wife keeps saying every time I dare contest her, it's an objectively unpleasant feature to have.

I know Japanese and Korean (and probably Chinese) men love their women petite, not so tall. I think height, especially in Chinese women, became a dangerous obsession when the central government started to dictate minimum height requirements for girls who aspired to certain coveted positions in the politburo, or job as flight attendants. Lots of girls started to go through extremely painful leg extension procedure to gain that extra 10 or 15 cm.

Even about the boobs, yes, Japanese and Korean have an almost fetish taste for large breasts but I also heard most Chinese young men prefer flat chests, a B at most.

Here in the Philippines, I guess generations brought up looking up their Spanish, American and mestizos elites left a mark in perception and self-perception. As it's been said many times on this forum, we Western foreigners enjoy the arbitrage value of finding dark-skinned, native-looking Filipinas cute and sexy, whereas the locals would not fancy them and shun them. On the flip side, between Manila and Davao I have seen young, good looking Korean and Japanese men with stunning fair-skinned Filipinas who would probably not give us Western divorcee in our 40s a second glance.
yick wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 9:29 pm
That is another good point is realising not just your worth but their worth also - a great point is Miss Big Boobs who wanted a 5000 peso watch which I know you could have afforded but the fact that she only bothered to make the next appointment to buy her this watch meant that she didn't value your time or money that much and she probably had someone (or more...) on the side but that you realise your value meant you were able to walk away.

I suppose you could have bartered her down but the price would have kept going up as soon as you agreed to a minimum of what was expected - I am sure some of the really young girls - teenagers of 18 wouldn't be so bold and would rather dress it up as 'school fees' in regarding saving face/risk of face loss but still - all types of transactions exist and as long as you can see it for what it is and treat it as such - if one such 'girlfriend' is a good lay - give her some of what she is asking for and if you ring her again for another roll in the hay and she is busy or you go straight on to answerphone then find another one.

Also, like you have pointed out - there are big differences between occasional lays asking for money and girls who like you and your company being treated well and spoiled upon - one needs to know the difference but also one needs to take time to find and court these girls properly like you stated.
Well, that easiness with letting her go after she named her price and overshot it wasn't so much about me realising her value relative to me, or vice-versa.

It's due to the simple economics of dating over here. Unless you are decrepit and look absolutely hideous, dating here is like shooting fish in a tank, with a bazooka. If Miss Big Boobs A had given me another day or three of steamy sex in exchange for maybe a dinner and a movie, I wouldn't have minded. As she may or may not have been aware, I was only a few mouse clicks away from next Miss Big Boobs B, or Miss Cute Eyes, or Miss Perky Butt, and so on.

As we all know, over here there is an endless supply of cute to good looking girls who will join you in bed for the excitement of getting sex from a foreigner, or because they like to be treated well from time to time, or maybe to quench their stress and loneliness, or maybe all of the above.

It's almost too easy and, as it happened to me after a while, the risk is real to end up feeling dry, depleted after a while. A year or two into this routine, excitement waned and I started to look for many other qualities in a girl I would consider worth a long-term relationship. So long I was only looking for sex, I would never get frustrated. As soon as I started looking for something better, deeper, truer, that's where all the drama started.

And I consider myself lucky to have found C, in Davao nonetheless, who ticks all the boxes, including that of pretending my past life as a womanizer didn't matter.
yick
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Re: Hidden Costs of Schooling GF in PH

Post by yick »

publicduende wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 10:12 pm
yick wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 9:29 pm
Exactly, here in China, they might like height or if a westerner has 'big' or 'deep' eyes but the actual racial fetish isn't here really though there are some things that are more common amongst westerners than their own people but I have rarely known any Chinese woman to have a preference for a westerner over their own though I know they exist they're definitely a minority and that is definitely true about Chinese men and western women - I knew a very pretty blonde woman in her early twenties who wouldn't be short of suitors back home get swatted away from some Chinese guy around her age - I thought it might have been that he was shy/felt awkward etc but nope, apart from the initial excitement of her interest in him, he wasn't really interested in her.
I have never had direct accounts of Chinese men not liking Western girls but your story seems to drive the point home. Most Asian culture seem to cherish specific traits they consider markers of beauty, and not much else. I think we can agree the fair skin is a universal across all of Asia, as it's traditionally associated with purity and with minimal exposure to sunlight (in itself a sign of a more refined lifestyle). Same for flat nose, it's an Austronesian/Malay trait that is associated with populations Asians traditionally considered underdeveloped, therefore inferior. And, as my wife keeps saying every time I dare contest her, it's an objectively unpleasant feature to have.

I know Japanese and Korean (and probably Chinese) men love their women petite, not so tall. I think height, especially in Chinese women, became a dangerous obsession when the central government started to dictate minimum height requirements for girls who aspired to certain coveted positions in the politburo, or job as flight attendants. Lots of girls started to go through extremely painful leg extension procedure to gain that extra 10 or 15 cm.

Even about the boobs, yes, Japanese and Korean have an almost fetish taste for large breasts but I also heard most Chinese young men prefer flat chests, a B at most.

Here in the Philippines, I guess generations brought up looking up their Spanish, American and mestizos elites left a mark in perception and self-perception. As it's been said many times on this forum, we Western foreigners enjoy the arbitrage value of finding dark-skinned, native-looking Filipinas cute and sexy, whereas the locals would not fancy them and shun them. On the flip side, between Manila and Davao I have seen young, good looking Korean and Japanese men with stunning fair-skinned Filipinas who would probably not give us Western divorcee in our 40s a second glance.
yick wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 9:29 pm
That is another good point is realising not just your worth but their worth also - a great point is Miss Big Boobs who wanted a 5000 peso watch which I know you could have afforded but the fact that she only bothered to make the next appointment to buy her this watch meant that she didn't value your time or money that much and she probably had someone (or more...) on the side but that you realise your value meant you were able to walk away.

I suppose you could have bartered her down but the price would have kept going up as soon as you agreed to a minimum of what was expected - I am sure some of the really young girls - teenagers of 18 wouldn't be so bold and would rather dress it up as 'school fees' in regarding saving face/risk of face loss but still - all types of transactions exist and as long as you can see it for what it is and treat it as such - if one such 'girlfriend' is a good lay - give her some of what she is asking for and if you ring her again for another roll in the hay and she is busy or you go straight on to answerphone then find another one.

Also, like you have pointed out - there are big differences between occasional lays asking for money and girls who like you and your company being treated well and spoiled upon - one needs to know the difference but also one needs to take time to find and court these girls properly like you stated.
Well, that easiness with letting her go after she named her price and overshot it wasn't so much about me realising her value relative to me, or vice-versa.

It's due to the simple economics of dating over here. Unless you are decrepit and look absolutely hideous, dating here is like shooting fish in a tank, with a bazooka. If Miss Big Boobs A had given me another day or three of steamy sex in exchange for maybe a dinner and a movie, I wouldn't have minded. As she may or may not have been aware, I was only a few mouse clicks away from next Miss Big Boobs B, or Miss Cute Eyes, or Miss Perky Butt, and so on.

As we all know, over here there is an endless supply of cute to good looking girls who will join you in bed for the excitement of getting sex from a foreigner, or because they like to be treated well from time to time, or maybe to quench their stress and loneliness, or maybe all of the above.

It's almost too easy and, as it happened to me after a while, the risk is real to end up feeling dry, depleted after a while. A year or two into this routine, excitement waned and I started to look for many other qualities in a girl I would consider worth a long-term relationship. So long I was only looking for sex, I would never get frustrated. As soon as I started looking for something better, deeper, truer, that's where all the drama started.

And I consider myself lucky to have found C, in Davao nonetheless, who ticks all the boxes, including that of pretending my past life as a womanizer didn't matter.
It sounds really good to be honest, once this pandemic is over - I am going to go and visit it and try it out for sure! I understand the economics point and will be ready for it. I will probably just stay around Manila at first but I have always fancied going but have yet to go about it but I will do soon for sure!
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publicduende
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Re: Hidden Costs of Schooling GF in PH

Post by publicduende »

yick wrote:
October 15th, 2021, 10:21 pm
It sounds really good to be honest, once this pandemic is over - I am going to go and visit it and try it out for sure! I understand the economics point and will be ready for it. I will probably just stay around Manila at first but I have always fancied going but have yet to go about it but I will do soon for sure!
LOL now I sound like I gave you the forbidden fruit - you know what awaits you here but you can't get here, yet :D

Soon enough, my friend, soon enough...
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