A Woman Being Able to Cook

[MrMan]

My wife is a traditional wife in a lot of ways, and she does the cooking.

But I met her when she was still in her early '20's. She'd lived with her family, with relatives, and in a boarding house. She could do survival cooking, when we met. She'd even run a few food stalls selling porridge, but she wasn't what I would say is a good cook.

When I was dating my wife, the prices had dropped from the monetary crisis. If we wanted to eat at a buffet or something a bit nice, it was about $2 per person. I ate a country club buffet with giant prawn and Chinese food for that. There were food options at 50 cents and one dollar. So before we got married, I took her out to meal after meal. After we got married and rented a place, she wanted to cook for me.

I remember when she wanted to cook spaghetti for the first time, she took out a bottle of ketchup. I think I stopped her in time. She'd never made it. I didn't really know how to cook, but I managed to make a decent garlicky sauce with fresh tomatoes. That may be the only time I cooked all year. This was before the Internet where recipes are at her fingertips.

We went as guests to eat at a home and the middle-aged woman there was a gourmet cook. The food was amazing. My wife determined that she wanted to be able to cook like that. She has a talent for it. She can taste something often guess what the ingredients are. We opened a food vending business. The first time she made a meal, someone approached us and said the lamb fried rice and lamb she served was better than the food served in fine dining establishments in the city. We continued that business and she would occasionally serve as guest chef at fine dining establishments.

But could she cook well in her early 20's when I met her? No. Not really. She could do okay. Some meals were pretty good. The first time she made 'opor', she either wasn't that great at it or I hadn't acquired a taste for it. That's a coconut-milk dish usually cooked with chicken. She did it with egg plant. Her cooking wasn't usually terrible, but it wasn't spectacular.

I remember her hearing an Indonesian woman say she couldn't cook. And she said it must be embarrassing for a woman to say that. She's a woman. She's supposed to know how to cook. That is probably less the case with office-working females in Indonesia these days than it was in the past. But men who marry women with this mindset are beneficiaries.

My mom can cook. She acknowledges that my wife is a better cook. But my mom did not __like__ to cook. My wife likes to cook, at least sometimes. She gets sick of it sometimes and wants to eat leftovers or is relieved if we get pizza or pick up fried chicken to eat at home for dinner on occasion.

I didn't know how to cook meat in my early 20's. I didn't know what to do with it. When I was in my very early 20's in South Korea and it was too late or too early to eat out, I'd cook ramen noodles and put an egg and/or a can of tuna fish (in oil not brine) in the soup after squeezing the oil out. Or I'd eat a cheese or cheese and imitation crab sticks sandwich in the toaster oven. Then I'd eat out for lunch. I then learned to grill. In recent years, I've learned to cook a bit, mainly stir frying greens and vegetables, sometimes with meat, or making soups like Phoa, soto, dueng jang, or something along those lines.

[michael.gaines]

It's quite common for people to start with basic cooking skills and gradually develop their abilities over time. Cooking is a skill that can be learned and improved with practice, and it appears your wife's passion for it played a significant role in her progress.

It's great that you've also ventured into cooking and have expanded your culinary repertoire. Exploring and experimenting with different dishes can be a rewarding experience. Cooking can be a wonderful way to connect with different cultures and enjoy a variety of flavors.