Re: Should Jester Relocate from Mexico to Philippines?
Posted: March 8th, 2015, 6:41 am
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Jes, I absolutely applaud your efforts to "go with the flow", to be sociable and open to mingling with the locals. It might just be my opinion, but I am absolutely convinced that interacting with fellow expats is great, but embracing the local culture and community can really take you to the next level. Unfortunately I never really spent too long in Medellin, but I did in Davao City and it was truly amazing, especially when your hosts are so warm, hospitable and easy-going to start with.Jester wrote:I have been having doubts about staying in Mexico, but went with the flow, trying to being sociable. Saw friends last night and this morning. Made friends with another quality Mexican neighbor.
And tonight, I went to a gathering of well-off gringos, a dinner dance.
Made a few acquaintances, couple of friends. One Alpha-type guy that I made friends with there said SEA beats Mexico. Based on Asian women being compliant or malleable. (He was a metallurgist, he was using the terms of his craft.) He said that his gringo lady of 6 years was not compliant at all. She probably could hear this. He also said she was good to him, he would stay, yada yada. He is content.
They had just come back from SEA. He's been to Vietnam, Thailand, China, Cambodia, Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina. He said if single he would go to SEA.
Another guy, who had been a power lineman, now is enjoying his hobby of woodworking, and having coffee with his wife.
Both the above guys, btw, are interesting and likable and we exchanged contact info.
But I do not want to be in their shoes. All the couples there included men who were whipped or at least had "settled". No active world adventurers. This stands to reason since it is a retirement haven, but it repulsive to see up close.
I want out.
But wait. There's more.
Three different old women pulled youngish Mexican waiters onto the dance floor.
I have heard mentions of cougar behavior behavior, but hadnt seen it. I left.
This place is not for me. I will be leaving.
Married gringos have "settled" and really wont form a great community for me.
Single gringos are drunks.
Integrating socially with Mexicans is simply too slow.
I need to go.
Damn, I'm starting to think these places with great climates are strictly for the retirement set. They're the only ones in Tucson now who have any vibrancy. Very different thirty years ago. Got to go to some crappy FSU industrial shithole to find a scene of happening young women, it seems.Jester wrote:I have been having doubts about staying in Mexico, but went with the flow, trying to being sociable. Saw friends last night and this morning. Made friends with another quality Mexican neighbor.
And tonight, I went to a gathering of well-off gringos, a dinner dance.
Made a few acquaintances, couple of friends. One Alpha-type guy that I made friends with there said SEA beats Mexico. Based on Asian women being compliant or malleable. (He was a metallurgist, he was using the terms of his craft.) He said that his gringo lady of 6 years was not compliant at all. She probably could hear this. He also said she was good to him, he would stay, yada yada. He is content.
They had just come back from SEA. He's been to Vietnam, Thailand, China, Cambodia, Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina. He said if single he would go to SEA.
Another guy, who had been a power lineman, now is enjoying his hobby of woodworking, and having coffee with his wife.
Both the above guys, btw, are interesting and likable and we exchanged contact info.
But I do not want to be in their shoes. All the couples there included men who were whipped or at least had "settled". No active world adventurers. This stands to reason since it is a retirement haven, but it repulsive to see up close.
I want out.
But wait. There's more.
Three different old women pulled youngish Mexican waiters onto the dance floor.
I have heard mentions of cougar behavior behavior, but hadnt seen it. I left.
This place is not for me. I will be leaving.
Married gringos have "settled" and really wont form a great community for me.
Single gringos are drunks.
Integrating socially with Mexicans is simply too slow.
I need to go.
"Post industrial shithole"gsjackson wrote:
Damn, I'm starting to think these places with great climates are strictly for the retirement set. They're the only ones in Tucson now who have any vibrancy. Very different thirty years ago. Got to go to some crappy FSU industrial shithole to find a scene of happening young women, it seems.
MarcosZeitola wrote:
Any updates, Jester? It's been a while, it's almost April now and paradise is calling.
Jester wrote:MarcosZeitola wrote:
Any updates, Jester? It's been a while, it's almost April now and paradise is calling.
Fair question.
Just for fun, I got onto FilipinaCupid, found a dozen young beauties who agreed to chat with me. Trick was to ignore their age-range preferences. Kind of proud of myself.
(There were lots of approaches from over-age, plain-janes and scammers too of course, but my shields are up.)
But long-distance chat is pretty dull, didnt pursue it hard yet. Time zone difference, blah blah.
Over a week ago, friends here (vested interest in keeping me here) challenged me to develop 20 candidates here in Mexico via Craigslist or local newspaper online. I agreed - but not done yet.
Mexico has better internet than the Phils, so it makes sense to get some stuff done while I'm here. (Loose ends to tie up...) But ithe web is working only sporadically today. Is someone trying to tell me something?
Been listening to "LifeBeyondTheSea" to stay motivated. Can't listen today. Internet drops.
Yesterday a 40-ish married gringa, who likes me, ambushed me with a setup to meet a model-beautiful, classy..... SIXTY-YEAR-OLD.
There is more but it gets even more embarrassing.
It's not that there are no youthful candidates I can ever attract here. The big thing is that the kudzu of same-age-hood is going to grow over me if I don't take some radical action fast.
But... thanks for asking!
You need to leave the retirement community before you end up in an early grave like them. You can always go back but for now I think it may be time to leave.Jester wrote:MarcosZeitola wrote:
Any updates, Jester? It's been a while, it's almost April now and paradise is calling.
Fair question.
Just for fun, I got onto FilipinaCupid, found a dozen young beauties who agreed to chat with me. Trick was to ignore their age-range preferences. Kind of proud of myself.
(There were lots of approaches from over-age, plain-janes and scammers too of course, but my shields are up.)
But long-distance chat is pretty dull, didnt pursue it hard yet. Time zone difference, blah blah.
Over a week ago, friends here (vested interest in keeping me here) challenged me to develop 20 candidates here in Mexico via Craigslist or local newspaper online. I agreed - but not done yet.
Mexico has better internet than the Phils, so it makes sense to get some stuff done while I'm here. (Loose ends to tie up...) But ithe web is working only sporadically today. Is someone trying to tell me something?
Been listening to "LifeBeyondTheSea" to stay motivated. Can't listen today. Internet drops.
Yesterday a 40-ish married gringa, who likes me, ambushed me with a setup to meet a model-beautiful, classy..... SIXTY-YEAR-OLD.
There is more but it gets even more embarrassing.
It's not that there are no youthful candidates I can ever attract here. The big thing is that the kudzu of same-age-hood is going to grow over me if I don't take some radical action fast.
But... thanks for asking!
Jester, as most people have said, you should plan on going to the Philippines as soon as possible and I definitely concur! I'm younger than you but when people from your youth like Leonard Nimoy, Casey Kasem start dying, one quickly contemplates their own mortality and wonders what they've accomplished with their lives. It sounds like you've reached that point where you realize that your children can be your greatest legacy and you want to start that as soon as you can.MarcosZeitola wrote: Same-age hood is only really worth it if you meet each other early in life and grow old together. If you are an older male, you'd be a fool to settle for an older woman when you can get someone more then half your age easily. I browsed through some old pictures today, from a 2013 trip through the Philippines with my then-fiancée. I saw pictures of myself working, drinking and enjoying myself with her, her family and their many friends. I saw myself doing things I never could do back at home, in places far more beautiful then anything my country has to offer.
One picture I saw made me particularly happy, but it was a bittersweet happiness. It was a longing, a longing to be where I belong at last. It was a picture my wife took when we had just spent one of the most magical nights of our life in a resort near a beach, a resort that has since been washed away by the waves. After we checked out, we decided not to take a cab but instead hike through the mountains to the nearest village and take a bus from there.
I would not mind growing old with my wife, in fact I would love to. Because we share memories like this. Because we have seen beautiful places together and leaned on each other in hard times. You are in a different phase of your life, but it's a phase with far more freedom. Some of your friends may try to tie you down. Buyers remorse, plain and simple. They are stuck with an age-matched partner and would like to see you do the same because "it's what is right". You know better. You know the greener pastures. I can show you a million pictures and tell you a million times, but in the end it is only you who can take that step.
The sun will continue to shine, the wind will still blow, the ladies will still be young and pretty and the food will still be cheap and delicious. And every minute you spend there, is another minute of your life spent without that sun, those ladies, that food and beautiful nature.
Jester wrote:There is a lady back in Glendale, California. We were quite close for years, but rarely content and never compatible. Now see each other only occasionally.
I am still close to her family.
This past weekend her mother, sister and brother-in-law paid me an unexpected visit. (GF had a passport problem.) Enjoyed the visit.
Her B-I-L and I had a chance to share a drink and talk out on the patio after the others went to bed.
He is very Mexican at heart, from smalltown Michoacan, handsome only in a rough like, the coach on Mexico's national soccer team. He was a chef and is now a Food and Beverage director at a hotel, and has dome quite a bit of dating before he was married, and some afterward as well. He has traveled in Europe, and spent time in Lithuania.
He told me that for my personality, and wanting a submissive young girl, that the Philippines was the place to go. He said rural Mexico might have what I wanted, but was tough to break into.
So he confirmed what you guys have been telling me on this thread.
What was really remarkable was that:
(1) He is himself Mexican
(2) We were sitting outside my beach house in a tranquil "privada" listening to the ocean surf
(3) He and his wife are building a house up the coast, and love the peaceful stress-free feel of Mexico
(4) He is family with my Mexican gf in the US, who likes to introduce herself as my wife
(5) He has a Mexican wife
And most strikingly, I didnt invite them to come. They just appeared at the gate. And they had driven an extra hour in spring break traffic to come see me.
So I feel like he was sent by God as a messenger.
No direct experience that I know of. He has two coworkers who went to thePhilippines and came back with wives that seemed submissive compared to Latinas.OutWest wrote:Jester wrote: He told me that for my personality, and wanting a submissive young girl, that the Philippines was the place to go. He said rural Mexico might have what I wanted, but was tough to break into.
So he confirmed what you guys have been telling me on this thread.
How much time has the Mexican spent living in the Philippines? Has he had a Filipna wife or girlfriends?
Its hard to judge this through labels.
Many filipinas do tend to be cooperative and deferring, but that is more complicated than the image often sought by western men. It all takes place in the social and cultural backdrop, which VERY FEW Western men are willing to engage. Instead, they end up disillusioned, and for those claiming that filipinas are submissive girls of the meek lapdog variety, well those men have obviously never been married to one.