David wygant attacks guys going to asia

[argaluza]

I don't think argaluza is lying. He's probably a middle-aged man who has been living in China, maybe out of frustration about his life in the UK, maybe not. His words surely aren't hinting at the fact he was socially disconnected in his homeland. Perhaps he moved for business and liked it, or he liked a change, or some adventure. I don't know, he'll perhaps explain us in one of his future posts.

Well Publicduende, that post was brilliant and written in words that I could only try to convey.

My story? I have always wanted to go overseas and joined the army as a teenager to do that but that 'living abroad' experience didn't bring me what I wanted.

I am middle aged, married with kids, happy abroad and have been for the past 8 years but I have had my heart and my senses trampled, stabbed, set fire on and torn apart by 'western women' and I have done the same in return. Therefore, I realise that to blame a demographic for ones happiness or shortcomings is naive at best, especially when I have been guilty of exactly the same crimes as the 'western women' in question.

I like being abroad but as Publicduende as alluded to - it really is 'same shit, different bucket' wherever you go, there are new problems and annoyances and in the end, it is how you react to them which will bring you true happiness and contentment, when these potential HA'ers go to the Philippines and they are still unhappy, who will be to blame then? Sexism will turn to racism and it will all be the fault of the 'Stupid Filipinos' (as it is in a thread on here) instead of 'stupid western women' (which brings me to the point that women in places like China bring their own challenges, if you marry a Chinese woman, her first priority are her parents and whatever children you have, not you - and she expects certain standards from you.)

Another problem I see with a lot of posters on here is that they abhor feminism and western culture but are as equally dismissive of their partners culture when it comes to their role in a marriage, for example, will readily dismiss providing for their wife's family which is part of Filipino culture (for example) thus are only too ready to stamp their 'western' culture and values when and where they see fit by cherrypicking what they will or wont do.

So to summarise, going abroad is not easy, you will come across new annoyances, you will get frustrated a lot of times as well as gaining a lot of new knowledge and hopefully a better quality of life but it is all a balancing act. I have that now but it happened the day I took ownership of my own happiness and understood I was entitled to nothing - life became better. Going overseas won't change anything if you can't change your attitude.

[droid]

If there has never been "such evil" in your life, then what's the point with being so bitter and paranoid about the (alleged) evil of feminism? If you don't like the crowd in this location you can just stop reading. Nobody is forcing anybody's idea down your throat unless you want to read and debate about it.

Come on duende, by location I was referring to my geographical location, not the forum. I'll have to assume you didn't twist it like that on purpose. Half or your diatribe is null on that.
I love this forum, including you and the trolls, believe it or not.
Stop making stuff up for character-attacks. I rarely post about feminism here. My main points have been on how the demographics suck for males in the states, that's all. Anyone can look at my posts.

I don't think argaluza is lying. He's probably a middle-aged man who has been living in China, maybe out of frustration about his life in the UK, maybe not. His words surely aren't hinting at the fact he was socially disconnected in his homeland. Perhaps he moved for business and liked it, or he liked a change, or some adventure. I don't know, he'll perhaps explain us in one of his future posts.
What we guys have got to understand is that this community is but a tiny speck of the expat or wannabe expat sky. The accepted narrative of this place is that the US/UK/[your Western country of choice] is rotten to the core and one can only find solace for his romantic/dating/business life abroad, possibly in a second or third-world society where his first-world status can be revered and he can leverage this to have a better dating (which often means sexual) life, or finally find a good partner. These premises are all fine and dandy, yet they're not everybody's premises.

That we HA members can generalise about the whole world, especially those who base their knowledge on a couple of weeks or even months in Mexico of the Philippines, and feel entitled to look down on the rest of the living abroad community, I find it naive at best and arrogant at worst. And certainly we shouldn't feel attacked and insulted if, to an external observer who has had a different expat experience, our tenets come across as delusional, overly bitter and farfetched.

Please let's try not to reject people with different experiences than most of the members up here. Those lying, passive-aggressive sociopaths are not as you describe them, and - guess what - they're the vast majority of people living abroad.

Everybody leverages on any given market, you can't deny it. AW leverage on their market, some guys leverage whatever advantage they have in the states. YOU leverage when you buy chinese stuff or marry a Colombian lady. Now you demonize it when it's non-PC HA stuff?
You're also quick to label some arrogant, while giving a free pass to others. Not cool duende.

Overall, you're copping out. It's always been clear I don't have issues with anyone's bona-fide rational opinions, I only have problems with malicious m*therf**s, thus my first post on this thread.

[publicduende]

If there has never been "such evil" in your life, then what's the point with being so bitter and paranoid about the (alleged) evil of feminism? If you don't like the crowd in this location you can just stop reading. Nobody is forcing anybody's idea down your throat unless you want to read and debate about it.

Come on duende, by location I was referring to my geographical location, not the forum. I'll have to assume you didn't twist it like that on purpose. Half or your diatribe is null on that.
I love this forum, including you and the trolls, believe it or not.
Stop making stuff up for character-attacks. I rarely post about feminism here. My main points have been on how the demographics suck for males in the states, that's all. Anyone can look at my posts.

My bad, sorry, I mis-interpreted you. Which kind of explains why you're moving out of it soon. Where about, by the way? Again it might just be me, but I don't remember reading about the identity of your next location.

I don't think argaluza is lying. He's probably a middle-aged man who has been living in China, maybe out of frustration about his life in the UK, maybe not. His words surely aren't hinting at the fact he was socially disconnected in his homeland. Perhaps he moved for business and liked it, or he liked a change, or some adventure. I don't know, he'll perhaps explain us in one of his future posts.
What we guys have got to understand is that this community is but a tiny speck of the expat or wannabe expat sky. The accepted narrative of this place is that the US/UK/[your Western country of choice] is rotten to the core and one can only find solace for his romantic/dating/business life abroad, possibly in a second or third-world society where his first-world status can be revered and he can leverage this to have a better dating (which often means sexual) life, or finally find a good partner. These premises are all fine and dandy, yet they're not everybody's premises.

That we HA members can generalise about the whole world, especially those who base their knowledge on a couple of weeks or even months in Mexico of the Philippines, and feel entitled to look down on the rest of the living abroad community, I find it naive at best and arrogant at worst. And certainly we shouldn't feel attacked and insulted if, to an external observer who has had a different expat experience, our tenets come across as delusional, overly bitter and farfetched.

Please let's try not to reject people with different experiences than most of the members up here. Those lying, passive-aggressive sociopaths are not as you describe them, and - guess what - they're the vast majority of people living abroad.

Everybody leverages on any given market, you can't deny it. AW leverage on their market, some guys leverage whatever advantage they have in the states. YOU leverage when you buy chinese stuff or marry a Colombian lady. Now you demonize it when it's non-PC HA stuff?
You're also quick to label some arrogant, while giving a free pass to others. Not cool duende.

Overall, you're copping out. It's always been clear I don't have issues with anyone's bona-fide rational opinions, I only have problems with malicious m*therf**s, thus my first post on this thread.

I don't know what kind of leverage I had over my Colombian wife, since I first met her in Cambridge while she was studying English at a reputable school and had a career to go back to in Medellin. If anything, entering a relationship with her only served to disrupt her ongoing life in Medellin, since she overstayed her study period and had to leave her job, only to find an inferior one when she went back almost 18 months later, and missed her family and friends quite a bit. I know it's hard to believe, but she certainly wasn't the kind of woman who was looking to leave Colombia for pastures greener and marry a European. I was the equivalent of a serious tropical storm in her life, and indeed she was to me, too.

If you go back and read my posts, I am one of the supreme haters of this broad-brush generalisation that helps creating myths, both negative and positive, about life abroad and foreign girls. I reiterate and insist: the number of expats who move abroad, or contemplate to do so, as a reaction to a frustrating or asphixiating social environment at home are not a majority, however abundant they might be in this specific corner of cyberspace. This is a fact, and if you guys cannot fathom it I urge you to sail your boat away from HA island and discover the larger archipelagos and continents of expat communities.

And on this basis, I do agree with argaluza when saying that if somebody has trouble adjusting to the society and culture where they have spent their formative years plus n extra years, the kind of backlash from living in a different culture, having to scramble with an alien language and setting up a decent life platform that includes a job, a partner, a social circle etc. - all this stuff ain't going to be any easier to handle. People like Xiongmao left his homeland vowing never to return and started out their expat experience with all the best intentions, and ended up empty handed in the same place where they started: UK and a corporate job. This isn't to diminish XM's courage - kudos to him for plunging in and enduring storms and roaches! - it is though to say things rarely turn out as smooth as planned. Moving abroad is not a panacea, even if certain Filipinas are good at making us Westerners feel like revered rockstars, with our without ulterior motives.

Finally, I didn't really appreciate the hostility with which you welcomed argaluza on the forum. He might have erred on the side of the polemic and indulged in diatribes, yet I believe he meant no harm. One thing is to be un-PC, another is to be sectarian and trigger happy in labelling any expat who won't conform to the HA mold a troll, a female, a mangina, etc. I always take sides when I feel somebody is being mistreated - I did the same when Americaninbangkok started bashing on XiongMao with verbal violence that was (at least to me) clearly uncalled for.

[argaluza]

And on this basis, I do agree with argaluza when saying that if somebody has trouble adjusting to the society and culture where they have spent their formative years plus n extra years, the kind of backlash from living in a different culture, having to scramble with an alien language and setting up a decent life platform that includes a job, a partner, a social circle etc. - all this stuff ain't going to be any easier to handle. People like Xiongmao left his homeland vowing never to return and started out their expat experience with all the best intentions, and ended up empty handed in the same place where they started: UK and a corporate job. This isn't to diminish XM's courage - kudos to him for plunging in and enduring storms and roaches! - it is though to say things rarely turn out as smooth as planned. Moving abroad is not a panacea, even if certain Filipinas are good at making us Westerners feel like revered rockstars, with our without ulterior motives.

It took me a long time to adjust to living abroad, there are a lot of challenges to it and it takes more than a year, personally, it took me a few years. In the Far East, there is that feeling of being a laowai, waygook or gaijin and I have been ripped off whilst out shopping, insulted, my wife's family initially rejected her choice of husband (me!) and it took years before I got to a comfortable place in my mind (This involved learning the language, very important.)

You go to the Far East and China especially, you are dealing with millions of people sharing your space and of course the adjustment to their form of politese - they will push into queues and if you get angry at every single little thing that happens in regards politese then your day is going to be ruined. Chinese people are very polite in accordance to their culture but stupid me was looking through my westernised eyes and ways and it was no wonder I was get stressed out - though it was all my own fault for not realising it was I who had to change and not them.

I followed Xiongmao's journey on here and felt his frustrations because they were real, I don't know if he was prepared mentally, as he may have felt once he was abroad then his problems would just disappear like a lot of folk tend to think on here. He quickly moved on to Thailand but if he had stayed in China and got through that stage of alienation and frustration then he could have made it in China in the long term. I know in my case, there were times I didn't want to leave my apartment but as I was working out there, I had to stick it out.

And the dating scene brings its own challenges as well. Anyway, here is an excellent essay about a man who found solace in China though it took him years before he found it. The point I am making to all those yet to live abroad - you can get laid every night but if you are freaking out because the old timers are spitting gobfuls of crap at your feet or that people push into you when you are all boarding the metro then getting laid aint going to help.

Anyway, here is the essay.

http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/how- ... y-life.htm

[droid]

but I don't remember reading about the identity of your next location.

I don't know what kind of leverage I had over my Colombian wife, since I first met her in Cambridge while she was studying English at a reputable school and had a career to go back to in Medellin. If anything, entering a relationship with her only served to disrupt her ongoing life in Medellin, since she overstayed her study period and had to leave her job, only to find an inferior one when she went back almost 18 months later, and missed her family and friends quite a bit. I know it's hard to believe, but she certainly wasn't the kind of woman who was looking to leave Colombia for pastures greener and marry a European. I was the equivalent of a serious tropical storm in her life, and indeed she was to me, too.

If you go back and read my posts, I am one of the supreme haters of this broad-brush generalisation that helps creating myths, both negative and positive, about life abroad and foreign girls. I reiterate and insist: the number of expats who move abroad, or contemplate to do so, as a reaction to a frustrating or asphixiating social environment at home are not a majority, however abundant they might be in this specific corner of cyberspace. This is a fact, and if you guys cannot fathom it I urge you to sail your boat away from HA island and discover the larger archipelagos and continents of expat communities.

And on this basis, I do agree with argaluza when saying that if somebody has trouble adjusting to the society and culture where they have spent their formative years plus n extra years, the kind of backlash from living in a different culture, having to scramble with an alien language and setting up a decent life platform that includes a job, a partner, a social circle etc. - all this stuff ain't going to be any easier to handle. People like Xiongmao left his homeland vowing never to return and started out their expat experience with all the best intentions, and ended up empty handed in the same place where they started: UK and a corporate job. This isn't to diminish XM's courage - kudos to him for plunging in and enduring storms and roaches! - it is though to say things rarely turn out as smooth as planned. Moving abroad is not a panacea, even if certain Filipinas are good at making us Westerners feel like revered rockstars, with our without ulterior motives.

Finally, I didn't really appreciate the hostility with which you welcomed argaluza on the forum. He might have erred on the side of the polemic and indulged in diatribes, yet I believe he meant no harm. One thing is to be un-PC, another is to be sectarian and trigger happy in labelling any expat who won't conform to the HA mold a troll, a female, a mangina, etc. I always take sides when I feel somebody is being mistreated - I did the same when Americaninbangkok started bashing on XiongMao with verbal violence that was (at least to me) clearly uncalled for.

I'm going to China for one or two years and then to Eastern Europe, but who knows, I might never leave China, I want to see if there are some business opportunities too. I was there a couple years ago and 22 yos were stopping me and saying "you're beautiful", and asking for pictures. I'm I leveraging? yes, but so are they in my opinion. Everyone's looking for what they like best.
In that sense, if you tell a Colombian girl you're Italian/Spaniard/Argentinian you get super extra points, as opposed to saying you're peruvian or bolivian (kind of nasty but true). I wouldn't blame you if you used that leverage even a little bit lol. The other person doesn't have to be "starving" for these concepts to apply too.

I disagree with the concept of someone necessarily having problems adjusting in a different place. I agree with Winston in that it's about compatibility. For example, I like women to respond when someone says "good morning", and make eye contact, it's simple manners. In some places you get that, in some others you don't.

The whole concept of blaming the person is based on the premise that everyone's the same everywhere. But I think that premise is false/deceitful; while certain 'types' of people are found everywhere, the actual distribution varies from place to place.
I don't care that much because I know better, but there are innocent guys that stumble into sites like these, and getting their dreams shot down with lies of the sort is unfair as hell.

Not to dwell on this anymore, but you talk about mistreatment, while ignoring the low-blows this other person threw at several members here. I understand you like someone to enter the stage as a counter-balance opinion, but you end up biased.

[argaluza]

I disagree with the concept of someone necessarily having problems adjusting in a different place. I agree with Winston in that it's about compatibility. For example, I like women to respond when someone says "good morning", and make eye contact, it's simple manners. In some places you get that, in some others you don't.

Your opinion on this is null and void until you have been in a foreign country for around 4 months.

Some people have a 'honeymoon period' where everything is exciting and fantastic and then they go into a depression as everything becomes routine and normal.

Some people (like me) are depressed at the beginning and then work their way into a routine and their depression lifts, what you think is moot until you go through this yourself because one or the other will happen, especially in a culture as different to ours as China is, no holiday will prepare you for the moment you 'hit the wall' and you will either run or see it through.

So, come back when you have actually hit four months in China or wherever and I will take what you say a bit more seriously. Until then, your opinion is theoretical and you are actually talking to people who have actually done it which is the height of arrogance, who are you to tell anyone who has actually lived abroad how it is?

The whole concept of blaming the person is based on the premise that everyone's the same everywhere.

People are the same everywhere.

But I think that premise is false/deceitful; while certain 'types' of people are found everywhere, the actual distribution varies from place to place.

That is complete and utter crap, we get into racial stereotyping with that thinking 'The Japanese are more honest' 'The Chinese are more shifty' 'The English are more pompous' which of course is complete and utter nonsense.

I don't care that much because I know better, but there are innocent guys that stumble into sites like these, and getting their dreams shot down with lies of the sort is unfair as hell.

The facts are, most guys, innocent or not, won't get past first base with moving abroad, it is just a dream anyway whatever anyone says to them.

Not to dwell on this anymore, but you talk about mistreatment, while ignoring the low-blows this other person threw at several members here. I understand you like someone to enter the stage as a counter-balance opinion, but you end up biased.

When talk goes to my daughter being raped (the idiotic Cornfed) then the gloves are coming off pal. You and the other idiots want to call me a woman and a mangina and reference me as 'she/her' then don't cry when incoming is thrown back at you. Grow a pair and be nice and I will be nice to you back.

[Yohan]

When talk goes to my daughter being raped (the idiotic Cornfed) then the gloves are coming off pal. You and the other idiots want to call me a woman and a mangina and reference me as 'she/her' then don't cry when incoming is thrown back at you. Grow a pair and be nice and I will be nice to you back...

Honestly, when I read your comments, I wonder who is the idiot - and about considering you might be a woman is only possible because your comments sound like being written by a woman and not by a man. -

Nobody knows who you are of course, you are nothing but a user-ID, anonymous. As you decline to identify yourself, people can only guess what kind of human you might be by reading your comments.

Your comments are clearly strongly pro-feminist, and everybody who is questioning feminism is for you a 'woman-hater' or an idiot. Sometimes I guess you are nothing but a troll disturbing members of this forum.

[droid]

your comments sound like being written by a woman .... Your comments are clearly strongly pro-feminist

That would be fine, except they come off as from an evil woman, not a nice woman. And being pro-feminist would be Ok, if there were some honesty.

Problem is Yohan, you should not engage the passive-aggressive. That is a no-no. There is no rational dialogue with these types of personalities, only their desire for destruction.
Most normal people fail to realize this and expect logic in the exchange (including normal upfront insults/harshness), when in reality the P-A will use anything you say or disclose against you. These attacks are instead wrapped with a veil of humor or sarcasm, thus the 'feminine' characteristic they convey, and the strong dissonance triggered on the target.

There is no way to "convince" them of anything. In particular, the attempt is made to flip blame onto the other subjects, as their attacks are sprinkled with plausible-deniability for good measure.
The only recommendation is avoidance, or outright mockery. Expel that kind of person from your life. It's important to identify this early on and take immediate action.

Anthropolonerd followed this pattern of luring readers in with an apparent reasonableness, only to be followed by vicious stuff. And also happened to have a pro-feminist and ageist bias, that's why I'm still convinced it's the same person.

I had a childhood friend that, as he grew older, became like this. He would push people's buttons behind the facade of being 'intellectual' and 'politically rebellious' in his particular case.
He managed to ostracize his whole family, and I haven't seen him for about seven years, I had to cut him off.

[Novem]

If someone wants to go overseas that is their prerogative. Western countries in general create more incentive to seek companionship elsewhere. Amusing that the so-called capitalists of the west have a problem with the market correcting itself when it comes to dating. People need to disregard the opinions of people who ultimately don't matter to their personal happiness and ignore the shaming tactics.