Great video about the dangers of Self Help

[hypermak]

A great video about the dangers of getting hooked on self help material, which often leads to losing your mind (and finances) to this or that self-help "guru" who promises to change your life forever, or get you rich quick, or wanted by all the hot girls, or all of the above at the same time!



Great narration, perhaps genuinely coming from the vlogger's personal experience, and great editing.

Personally, I have never believed in any of that. The only thing I believe in is to know yourself, your achievements and your failures, your potential and your limits, and learn to be contented with it. Not all can become trillionaires within their lifetime, not all can have a harem of underwear models on a rota, not all can be loved and respected by everyone.

There is only so much we can do...and that's OK. At least we will have been ourselves. And that is, in this time and age, a lot more more than we can imagine.

[gsjackson]

There was a cartoon several years ago, probably in the New Yorker, that showed a guy about to hang himself standing on a pile of self-help books. I'm certainly not unfamiliar with the genre, and generally agree with the video. The only times I've been successful in life is when motivation has come to me externally, unbidden, and then I work hard toward a specific goal. Hatching plans to corral success is a bit like hatching plans to catch cats or women. They're elusive when they're being pursued.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Personally, I have never believed in any of that. The only thing I believe in is to know yourself, your achievements and your failures, your potential and your limits, and learn to be contented with it. Not all can become trillionaires within their lifetime, not all can have a harem of underwear models on a rota, not all can be loved and respected by everyone.

Glad to see you recognize your limitations (we finally agree on something), but you are far from being content with them. I've noticed that almost everything you vomit in your tirades is a projected commentary about yourself and your personal disappointments. What do I mean? Well you like to accuse others of:

-Seeking adulation or admiration when it is you who wishes you had it.
-Puffing up their accomplishments when it is you who wishes you had more social prestige than working in a hotel kitchen.
-Outright lying about their wealth, because it is you who secretly wishes you had the same.
-Consorting with prostitutes when it is you who are sexually bottom feeding on desperate girls in the Philippines.
-Being worried about economic and Coronavirus doomsdays when it is you who possesses irrational fears about both.

But your biggest problem is not so much cynicism with self-help material, your core issues are your horrible attitude, your habit of projecting your own pathologies onto others, and your overall bitterness about not being where you want to be in life while others have left you in the dust. The ironic thing about that is that all of your misplaced energy will actually keep you there.

Thumb your nose all you wish at the self-help industry. That's just your resignation to the fact that you CAN'T manage to self-develop. So why on earth would you ever want to see others try? God forbid, they might actually succeed and further damage your ego and we can't have that now can we?

[Spencer]

A great video about the dangers of getting hooked on self help material, which often leads to losing your mind (and finances) to this or that self-help "guru" who promises to change your life forever, or get you rich quick, or wanted by all the hot girls, or all of the above at the same time!

Great narration, perhaps genuinely coming from the vlogger's personal experience, and great editing.

Personally, I have never believed in any of that. The only thing I believe in is to know yourself, your achievements and your failures, your potential and your limits, and learn to be contented with it. Not all can become trillionaires within their lifetime, not all can have a harem of underwear models on a rota, not all can be loved and respected by everyone.

There is only so much we can do...and that's OK. At least we will have been ourselves. And that is, in this time and age, a lot more more than we can imagine.

Very nice post public duende and fitting for you....

watch to last minute for books recomendment stand out away from fakey self help trashes

[Spencer]

Personally, I have never believed in any of that. The only thing I believe in is to know yourself, your achievements and your failures, your potential and your limits, and learn to be contented with it. Not all can become trillionaires within their lifetime, not all can have a harem of underwear models on a rota, not all can be loved and respected by everyone.

Glad to see you recognize your limitations (we finally agree on something), but you are far from being content with them. I've noticed that almost everything you vomit in your tirades is a projected commentary about yourself and your personal disappointments. What do I mean? Well you like to accuse others of:

-Seeking adulation or admiration when it is you who wishes you had it.
-Puffing up their accomplishments when it is you who wishes you had more social prestige than working in a hotel kitchen.
-Outright lying about their wealth, because it is you who secretly wishes you had the same.
-Consorting with prostitutes when it is you who are sexually bottom feeding on desperate girls in the Philippines.
-Being worried about economic and Coronavirus doomsdays when it is you who possesses irrational fears about both.

But your biggest problem is not so much cynicism with self-help material, your core issues are your horrible attitude, your habit of projecting your own pathologies onto others, and your overall bitterness about not being where you want to be in life while others have left you in the dust. The ironic thing about that is that all of your misplaced energy will actually keep you there.

Thumb your nose all you wish at the self-help industry. That's just your resignation to the fact that you CAN'T manage to self-develop. So why on earth would you ever want to see others try? God forbid, they might actually succeed and further damage your ego and we can't have that now can we?

You project ugly misery self other uplifter aboarder......shut up go away grumpy oldman have nothing nice say

[hypermak]

Glad to see you recognize your limitations (we finally agree on something), but you are far from being content with them. I've noticed that almost everything you vomit in your tirades is a projected commentary about yourself and your personal disappointments. What do I mean? Well you like to accuse others of:

Everybody has limitations, it's just that some people don't recognise them and prefer to go on pretending to have the most perfect, successful and happy life ever. You are most certainly one of them, as everybody in here already understood.

Seeking adulation or admiration when it is you who wishes you had it.

Really? Admiration about being a sous chef? Admiration about having sex with Filipinas? When have I ever boasted about either of them? Last time I checked, it was about 75% of your posts being about your wealth, your ability to travel, your alleged shenanigans with Ukrainian girls less than half your age (when everybody knows Easter Europeans don't find blacks attractive, especially middle-aged overweight ones like you). I might well have something to say but don't boast about it. You have a lot of fakery in your life and you boast about it. Spot the difference? The way you defend self help means you have been hooked, or you still are, which explains your obsession with "selling" your BS as the ultimate truth and wisdom. Unfortunately you're so bad at it, nobody is buying.

-Puffing up their accomplishments when it is you who wishes you had more social prestige than working in a hotel kitchen.

I am tired to have to explain you what I do for a living. You have probably never dined beyond McDonald's so you won't even begin to understand what goes in managing a multiple restaurants, 35+ staff, pantries and stockrooms, menu design and decorations. I am not the CEO of a franchise, that's true, if that is perhaps the only accomplishment you would consider worth your admiration. I probably never will. But again, I am neither boasting about it, nor denigrating it. I am simply OK with it, knowing that I am aiming at something better. And I am in my early thirties still, so plenty of time to progress.

Last time I checked it was you who are stuck in this selfish retiree mentality, where you are spending your pension money to pimp college girls (if that's even true). Oh the prestige of being a sexpat on public government money, you can see everybody's mouth wide open in awe, can't you?

-Outright lying about their wealth, because it is you who secretly wishes you had the same.

Have you checked my payslip? Have you peeked into my bank account, or that of my family? Are you really sure I am poor? Is it because, unlike you, I never boasted about it? I make all the money I have to make, with free 5-star accommodation, meals and access to duty free shops. My family has several million of Euros worth of assets. Now you know, can you tell me why I should be boasting about it in a forum like this?

Last time I checked, it was you bragging about your six figure government pension, after working a paper pushing job that probably never got you to work hard one day of your life. As I said before, if you really knew the meaning of hard work, passion and ambition, you wouldn't even think of denigrating someone who has these qualities.

-Consorting with prostitutes when it is you who are sexually bottom feeding on desperate girls in the Philippines.

This is the most laughable one of all
Your biggest accomplishment to date is to pay girls in Ukraine to give you company or sexual favours and I am the one who is bottom feeding on desperate girls. "I" becomes "you", "you" becomes "they". Are you sorta autistic or what?

-Being worried about economic and Coronavirus doomsdays when it is you who possesses irrational fears about both.

I have loved ones to worry about. You have never had anyone around you, other than your "sugar babes". One reaps what they sow.

But your biggest problem is not so much cynicism with self-help material, your core issues are your horrible attitude, your habit of projecting your own pathologies onto others, and your overall bitterness about not being where you want to be in life while others have left you in the dust. The ironic thing about that is that all of your misplaced energy will actually keep you there.

Thumb your nose all you wish at the self-help industry. That's just your resignation to the fact that you CAN'T manage to self-develop. So why on earth would you ever want to see others try? God forbid, they might actually succeed and further damage your ego and we can't have that now can we?

Self-help is not a good idea, it could be an inspiration for a little while but, as the vlogger says, it's easy to get hooked and enter this parallel reality where you start boasting about stuff you did, or can do, without actually putting the effort to do it. You fit squarely into this description, but that's nothing any of us didn't know already.

Now you go back to your basement. daydreaming of your next flight to Kiev where you can be "the best possible version of yourself".

[Spencer]

Contarian big dumwit mule....be real truth self again pduende give-up sillyman souschef youngman play sex filipine girl ilusion because that sockpupet attracting to be contarian easy peesy bullybait so be if you be realself pduende then contarian shutup because then can talk like busness man that he respect and then if we luck he feel boring go away to fade sunset florada with the paradise for golden america retirment

[Contrarian Expatriate]

I have loved ones to worry about.

No you don't. If these were really loved ones, you would still be back in Italy . The truth is that you were a "Mammone" could not wait to get away from them, and they could not wait to get rid of you.

That's why you're in the Philippines. It's not an accident!

You won't even begin to understand what goes in managing a multiple restaurants, 35+ staff, pantries and stockrooms, menu design and decorations.

Oh my God. You ARE kidding right? I used to task my summer interns with more substantive responsibility than that! When you are in charge of a staff of 500+ spread around your global region, you come talk to me. When you are in charge of planning for and directing the spending of an annual budget of 15 million to 25 million depending on the year, you come talk to me. When you make life and death decisions on employees' lives and the lives of various members of the public, you come see me. When you have to field inquires from major news outlets pertaining to matters within your geographic area of responsibility, you come see me.

Your management duties are really cute and all for an entry level manager, but my clerical workers would find your job a cakewalk, no pun intended.

MENUS AND DECORATIONS

Go back to Italy and resume life as a Mammone. You are absolutely a joke if you think you are somehow important professionally speaking.

[Winston]

The problem with self-help is that it is full of BS and delusions, such as:

1. You create your own reality, implying you are God with godlike powers and can do anything with the power of your mind and beliefs.
2. There are no limits. Nothing is impossible. You can accomplish anything if you persist and believe in yourself.

These delusions make people go crazy. They have no evidence or basis and yet people accept them without questioning them, like low IQ savages with no critical thinking. Everyone accepts the tenets of their group, including New Agers and self-help crowds, without questioning it. Even if the tenets are ridiculous and make no sense and contradict basic logic and common sense. It's weird how low IQ people are and unwilling to think or question anything. No one questions their own beliefs these days, no matter how absurd they are. That goes for Christians, Atheists, New Agers and Truthers too. The ironic thing is that New Agers and Truthers consider themselves to be above the other two, to be progressive freethinkers who have higher truth. lol.

Another annoying thing about New Agers is that they hate labels so they won't even call themselves New Agers. It's weird because everyone else doesn't mind being called by what they are. Christians are fine with being called Christian and Atheists are fine with being called Atheists. But New Agers are different and unusual. They hate labels and believe they transcend labels and limitation, so they don't even like to be called New Agers. Plus the term New Age has woo woo connotations too, and a stigma of being lovey dovey and delusional, so they try to detach from it. Yet in my book, if you have New Age beliefs and subscribe to them, then YES you are New Age! For example, if you believe in these New Age tenets:

1. We are all One consciousness. The self is an illusion.
2. We are unlimited consciousness. We are God dreaming but haven't realized it yet.
3. Nothing is impossible. There are no limits unless you believe that there are.
4. The Secret and Law of Attraction.
5. We create our own reality. (which is very vague and undefined and insinuates that we have godlike powers to control everything in our life)
Etc.

Then YES, you are NEW AGE, even if you don't call yourself that. It's pisses me off how many people out there are espousing these tenets on YouTube as though they are great revelations and forms of higher truth, yet deny being "New Age". Yeah right. Then what are they then? They seem to prefer to call themselves "freespirits, spiritual but not religious, spiritual seekers, those seeking higher truth, those becoming awakened" etc. Whatever. If they believe in New Age tenets then they ARE NEW AGE in my book.

The thing they don't realize is that none of these are proven or logical. They are all beliefs. So they are not gospel truth, yet New Agers and many spiritual seekers consider them to be gospel truth, even though they can't prove it. Even if there is some truth to them or they are truth in a "higher dimension" they still cannot be proven in the real world. Plus they are impractical too. For example, if we are all one consciousness, and I'm just you in another form, then why won't you let me sleep with your wife? What does it matter since I am really you anyway? lol. Also, why doesn't the bank stop assigning account balances to names and just pool all money as "One" for everyone to share? lol. Because banks can't work that way of course. lol. So even if the tenet were true in some higher dimension, it cannot apply in the real world.

One obvious logic fallacy they make is that just because some things were considered impossible before, like airplanes, but later became possible, thus it means that EVERYTHING that it considered impossible can be possible. That is a huge logic fallacy that New Agers and self-help gurus are blind to. Just because a few things that were impossible became possible does NOT mean that EVERYTHING is possible. That is an obvious fallacy. I'm surprised no one sees it, including bright intelligent New Agers. They just accept it as gospel truth, like a mantra they chant because they want to believe it's true, even though there's no basis for it. Also, for every success story like the Wright Brothers inventing the airplane, there are many more that fail.

We do not have godlike powers. We cannot make things happen. They either happen naturally or they don't. We cannot walk through walls or fly without wings. So the notion that we are god and that we can "create our own reality" like Q from Star Trek, who can manifest anything by the power of thought, is obviously untrue. If we are God's creation, that means we are an aspect of God, like Spiderman is an aspect of Stan Lee, not Stan Lee himself. Duh.

Self-help could be legit if they just stuck with simple realistic wise teachings that are true and fit basic logic. For example, the Greek/Roman philosophy of Stoicism says:

1. Let go of that which you can't control. Focus on what you can control.
2. Be content with less. The less you desire, the less you will suffer.
3. Don't take life too seriously. Hard times will pass.
4. Have goals that are achievable, not unachievable. Recognize the difference between what is achievable and what is unachievable.
5. Do what you are good at and naturally talented at. All successful people have talent and skill in what they do. They don't do something they suck at. That gives you the best chance of succeeding, when you do something you are really good at and have a knack for. If you aren't good at anything, then you will have to learn new skills, either on your own or at a training/trade school, that can be useful somewhere, hopefully skills that match your interest.

Those are all simple, realistic and wise advice that I would agree with. If self-help just kept to real stuff and good common sense advice like that, it would be fine and legit. But no, that's not good enough for the self-help movement or for many Americans. They need to BS and try to go beyond that and claim that nothing is impossible and there are no limits and that we are God with unlimited power and potential, etc. That's where the problem lies. Once it deludes people, then people are confused and end up disappointed and disillusioned and then start blaming themselves, which can lead to insanity, depression and suicide. All because they were given false advice and delusions by the New Age/self-help industry, rather than realistic advice like from Stoicism.

For more on Stoicism, see the links I posted about it here: viewtopic.php?f=40&t=38408

[Winston]

Contrarian Expatriate and Spencer,

Why are you so hard on hypermak? He never did anything to you. He seems polite and positive. So why you bashing him? That's not logical or warranted. Why you attacking him for no reason and unprovoked? It seems totally unwarranted. He seems like a nice intelligent cheerful pleasant fellow. Thus you guys must be lashing out at something in your own mind, not in reality. It is wrong to attack innnocent well meaning people don't you think?

Please try to uplift people here so this forum can be a POSITIVE place, not a negative one. Thanks.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Contrarian Expatriate and Spencer,

Why are you so hard on hypermak? He never did anything to you. He seems polite and positive. So why you bashing him? That's not logical or warranted. Why you attacking him for no reason and unprovoked? It seems totally unwarranted. He seems like a nice intelligent cheerful pleasant fellow. Thus you guys must be lashing out at something in your own mind, not in reality. It is wrong to attack innnocent well meaning people don't you think?

Please try to uplift people here so this forum can be a POSITIVE place, not a negative one. Thanks.

For some reason, Hypermak got emotionally triggered months back when I obliterated his worldview about the realities of modern marriage and family. He has been ranting and personally attacking me ever since. However, when he gets hit back harder than the can hit, his feelings hurt and he feels victimized.

I don't even think I have been as hard on him as I could have been because I have held back with the really hurtful comebacks. But the thing is, if he dishes it out, he had better be man enough to take it.

Spencer is simply PAG who I have on ignore. I don't even read what he posts so he is not an issue for me.

[hypermak]

No you don't. If these were really loved ones, you would still be back in Italy . The truth is that you were a "Mammone" could not wait to get away from them, and they could not wait to get rid of you.

Does it make you feel better, to pull definitions out of your a$$? "Mammone" is someone who lives with their parents well until his thirties, perhaps entirely dependent on cash handouts from his family.
I have been working abroad since I was 24 and the least "mammone" person I know.

If anything, it's you who fit better to that definition, since the US government generously fed you while expecting the least amount of work possible.

That's why you're in the Philippines. It's not an accident!

Yes, I am in the Philippines enjoying my life while you keep hacking away at your keyboard in your basement, desperately hoping that someone will believe a little bit of your BS.

Oh my God. You ARE kidding right? I used to task my summer interns with more substantive responsibility than that!

Yeah, riiiight! Diversity quota, community college graduate interns as a manager.

When you are in charge of a staff of 500+ spread around your global region, you come talk to me. When you are in charge of planning for and directing the spending of an annual budget of 15 million to 25 million depending on the year, you come talk to me. When you make life and death decisions on employees' lives and the lives of various members of the public, you come see me. When you have to field inquires from major news outlets pertaining to matters within your geographic area of responsibility, you come see me.

Man, you know how pathetic you sound, right? Your mind is really playing up, it must be all that testosterone and other shit you take everyday to keep the dream alive.

What you just said was probably the responsibility of the guy in charge of your department. You have been a trained monkey, a white collar paper pusher warming up an office chair simply out of black diversity quota at community college. Now you're finally retired you have all these dreams of catching up on your hopes to be recognised, respected. Well, it ain't happening. You might have been a meek trained monkey for a few decades but I guess everybody preferred that to the arrogant, testosterone-pumped senile monkey you are now.

The mental damage of the kind of self-help BS you have gobbled up, perhaps you still do, is quite evident here.

And... LOL so I should be managing 500+ people to get the privilege of talking to you. I am already doing it, for entertainment purpose only. I don't think I'll ever want anything more to do with you, other than call you on your BS to improve my written English. I told you, your presence here is entertainment value only. Don't expect anything more from us. You're a non-ironic, boring and senile version of @StanfordGuy.

Your management duties are really cute and all for an entry level manager, but my clerical workers would find your job a cakewalk, no pun intended.

Considering you have been a clerical worker all of your working life, with no hope to go out, do you feel like bashing someone almost half your age who still has plenty of time to move up in the professional ladder?

MENUS AND DECORATIONS

Go back to Italy and resume life as a Mammone. You are absolutely a joke if you think you are somehow important professionally speaking.

I might go back to Italy and I will have my family and friends. You seem to be stuck in a very dark place, courtesy of the BS parallel reality you created for yourself.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Hey Mammone, Don't you have some carrots and lettuce to slice and a breakfast bar to clean for the morning?

I can see why your family and "friends" encouraged you to leave Italy. It's a much better country without you there.

It's so easy to get you all furious. All that is needed is to tell you the truth.

[hypermak]

Contrarian Expatriate and Spencer,

Why are you so hard on hypermak? He never did anything to you. He seems polite and positive. So why you bashing him? That's not logical or warranted. Why you attacking him for no reason and unprovoked? It seems totally unwarranted. He seems like a nice intelligent cheerful pleasant fellow. Thus you guys must be lashing out at something in your own mind, not in reality. It is wrong to attack innnocent well meaning people don't you think?

Please try to uplift people here so this forum can be a POSITIVE place, not a negative one. Thanks.

@Winston thanks for taking my side, much appreciated. The answer to your question is in the video as in the OP. People like @Contrarian Expatriate who build their own version of reality have to continue validate it just to feel alive. They will defend it tooth and nail as the smallest crack of doubt would collapse their worldview and they would plunge into depression.

I may never be a millionaire celebrity chef or the CEO of a multinational...and so what? I am happy and contented with who I am and what I have, which is why I don't have any need to boast it, even if, to some eyes, it might not look like the ultimate achievement. I am an exec chef and international restaurant manager with the legacy of a small food franchise created by my family (and myself) over 3 generations. I might become a lot more but who knows. All I know is that I am not complaining, never did and never will.

I don't need self-help books or courses to convince myself that I can be a lot more successful. I give it my best shot and see what happens.

If resident loser CE here needs to find something to object to my real life, it's because he wants to validate his imaginary life. Pure and simple. The newsflash for him and everybody like him is that, in the end, the dream bubble will pop, reality will set in and if they are not prepared to face it, it will get very ugly to them, not me.

[Winston]

CE, what does it matter if hypermak is a chef? As long as he's doing what he loves and what hes good at, that's what counts isn't it? And if he feels more free in philippines then thats good isnt it? Why not uplift him and let him be the best he can be? He's doing a lot better than the whiners and rioters in the US thats for sure.