Problems Overthinking
Posted: May 28th, 2016, 3:58 pm
Does anyone else have problems with overthinking? Especially, like after reading an article about feminism and how it's messed up, etc., last night. I think I feel messed up today, because of it. I can't explain it, but it's like my thinking's horrible. It's all over the place, I feel bad/terrible, and my heads all confused.
Any one else have this issue? There are definitely triggers - but anything provocative/disturbing controversial will do it. I'll have literally days where I'm like that, for the whole day. The problem is, I used to have huge problems with this when I was young(er). I'd overthink so much, I had serious problems. I had medicine, and had them tell me I had a "disorder", something. Anyways, I've stopped taking the medicine(s). It was a lie, anyway - for big business.
I think it's when I try to think too much - about life, and be clever about things, like the Socialist Marxist stuff in our society, and try to make my own rules - it is always a horrible failure. I think & imagine others around me aren't really happy, but just playing roles - maybe some are happier in their roles than others (women), but ultimately all are unhappy because they aren't doing the work to live, and they aren't autonomous but playing a role.
I feel it's easy to keep it simple.
This is the hardest thing for me to do. I always want to make it more clever or complicated. I feel like I'm always searching for answers - trying too hard.
I don't want to miss out, if there's something I'm missing - if something I'm not doing.
I'm really depressed. I'm not experiencing the amount of women I wanted to. I'm ashamed. I wanted to have far more money, than I do at this point. I feel I should get something back for all my efforts, even if they were mostly in my head. I'm honestly very intelligent, just can't make it work.
I hate thinking about something like if I were in a different place - I'd have it all.
I just wish there was an answer - a simple way and a path to live life. Everything I try to do I fall flat on my face.
I've gotten diverted, plenty of times. And the things I've done I've brought it onto myself, sure.
But the thoughts we have determine boundaries for us, or are creating what we see for ourselves.
I feel like even, everything I do just shoots myself in the foot; while people around me effortlessly just glide on by and create and do things, somehow; and they aren't even clever or using their intelligence. It's not fair.
I want things, but the things I want change. What do we even have a mind for? It just f***s us. I'm tired of thinking all of the time, It drives me insane. It is confusing and pointless. Even when I got up from the chair, I caught a reflection in the window and my minds analyzing/comparing. I can't even get up from a f***ing chair.
Maybe it's good I'm moving to China. I feel like, in other parts of the world- I would have more success. I wouldn't have to act so much, and my talents would be appreciated - instead of ignored, minimized like it is here. I'm wasting my time and life here, just wasting away aging on a shelf.
I'm sick of explaining it to people. Only to be told it's my fault for always feeling the way I do. That I should feel good here, that I have to. That if you don't, you're a loser/lazy, it's your fault, etc., etc.
I'm sick of always struggling with the women. Waking up struggling thinking about the Marxist thing, the female thing, feeling unwanted. I'm tired of waking up unhappy, feeling miserable & being broke. I'm tired of walking outside to greet and meet women who couldn't give a shit about me. I'm sick of trying to impress them constantly, and come up empty. I'm sick of judging myself by all different standards - and not knowing which one to hold on to, or changing.
I'm in shape, fit, handsome...still it makes no difference. I could be all these things and it does not matter.
The thoughts in our minds create our lives. Thinking about this feminist stuff just seals our fates because, it creates our misery. Even if it's out there, we can't think it. Maybe, the answer lies in pure, absolute simplicity. Just not trying, not giving a damn. Not trying to do anything, just going out there and letting what happens naturally.
I ironically, know that this will work. Despite all my efforts, they don't do shit. It is a smack in the face - and humbling.
I'm sick of feeling bad, of having low to no self - esteem, having it based on all this shit - around me.
I'm sick of selfish people. I'm sick of my mind changing like the clouds in the sky. I just wish something would stay the same.
I'm sick of being lost.
I really do think too much - anyone have this problem?
What to do about it?
It feels like my brain exploded when I came to America. I've never had this problem anywhere else - but here because you're expected to do everything yourself, it's a lot of pressure/stress - your brain runs wild and you don't know what to do.
You're always thinking, guessing. There's just no place to rest your laurels, feel belonging.
Any one else have this issue? There are definitely triggers - but anything provocative/disturbing controversial will do it. I'll have literally days where I'm like that, for the whole day. The problem is, I used to have huge problems with this when I was young(er). I'd overthink so much, I had serious problems. I had medicine, and had them tell me I had a "disorder", something. Anyways, I've stopped taking the medicine(s). It was a lie, anyway - for big business.
I think it's when I try to think too much - about life, and be clever about things, like the Socialist Marxist stuff in our society, and try to make my own rules - it is always a horrible failure. I think & imagine others around me aren't really happy, but just playing roles - maybe some are happier in their roles than others (women), but ultimately all are unhappy because they aren't doing the work to live, and they aren't autonomous but playing a role.
I feel it's easy to keep it simple.
This is the hardest thing for me to do. I always want to make it more clever or complicated. I feel like I'm always searching for answers - trying too hard.
I don't want to miss out, if there's something I'm missing - if something I'm not doing.
I'm really depressed. I'm not experiencing the amount of women I wanted to. I'm ashamed. I wanted to have far more money, than I do at this point. I feel I should get something back for all my efforts, even if they were mostly in my head. I'm honestly very intelligent, just can't make it work.
I hate thinking about something like if I were in a different place - I'd have it all.
I just wish there was an answer - a simple way and a path to live life. Everything I try to do I fall flat on my face.
I've gotten diverted, plenty of times. And the things I've done I've brought it onto myself, sure.
But the thoughts we have determine boundaries for us, or are creating what we see for ourselves.
I feel like even, everything I do just shoots myself in the foot; while people around me effortlessly just glide on by and create and do things, somehow; and they aren't even clever or using their intelligence. It's not fair.
I want things, but the things I want change. What do we even have a mind for? It just f***s us. I'm tired of thinking all of the time, It drives me insane. It is confusing and pointless. Even when I got up from the chair, I caught a reflection in the window and my minds analyzing/comparing. I can't even get up from a f***ing chair.
Maybe it's good I'm moving to China. I feel like, in other parts of the world- I would have more success. I wouldn't have to act so much, and my talents would be appreciated - instead of ignored, minimized like it is here. I'm wasting my time and life here, just wasting away aging on a shelf.
I'm sick of explaining it to people. Only to be told it's my fault for always feeling the way I do. That I should feel good here, that I have to. That if you don't, you're a loser/lazy, it's your fault, etc., etc.
I'm sick of always struggling with the women. Waking up struggling thinking about the Marxist thing, the female thing, feeling unwanted. I'm tired of waking up unhappy, feeling miserable & being broke. I'm tired of walking outside to greet and meet women who couldn't give a shit about me. I'm sick of trying to impress them constantly, and come up empty. I'm sick of judging myself by all different standards - and not knowing which one to hold on to, or changing.
I'm in shape, fit, handsome...still it makes no difference. I could be all these things and it does not matter.
The thoughts in our minds create our lives. Thinking about this feminist stuff just seals our fates because, it creates our misery. Even if it's out there, we can't think it. Maybe, the answer lies in pure, absolute simplicity. Just not trying, not giving a damn. Not trying to do anything, just going out there and letting what happens naturally.
I ironically, know that this will work. Despite all my efforts, they don't do shit. It is a smack in the face - and humbling.
I'm sick of feeling bad, of having low to no self - esteem, having it based on all this shit - around me.
I'm sick of selfish people. I'm sick of my mind changing like the clouds in the sky. I just wish something would stay the same.
I'm sick of being lost.
I really do think too much - anyone have this problem?
What to do about it?
It feels like my brain exploded when I came to America. I've never had this problem anywhere else - but here because you're expected to do everything yourself, it's a lot of pressure/stress - your brain runs wild and you don't know what to do.
You're always thinking, guessing. There's just no place to rest your laurels, feel belonging.