Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

[Gali]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq2RHtP1DZU
UFC 266: Alexander Volkanovski awesome walkout/entrance on Down Under

[Tsar]

His name was Shemp the Sheepdog
He loved hoes seriously into dog dick
More predictable than a sex cyborg
He sometimes pays girls to give him a trick
One look at a girl and he begins to bark
He is always chasing human female tail
Rumors say he even did a few in the park
He's so nasty he even went for a landwhale
He loves to approach females and then sniff
He'll get harder than a rock and want to hump
He'll know if they're in heat with a single wiff
Doesn't matter if they're quite thin or rather plump
He wants to try to impregnate a girl with puppies
He's so stupid that his brain is smaller than a guppy's

No offense. If this is too explicit, please move it to the NSFW section and create a NSFW poetry thread.

[Shemp]

Poor Tsar! His body may have recovered but the worms evidently did permanent damage to his brain and now he is projecting his own morbid perversions onto other people.

[Tsar]

Poor Tsar! His body may have recovered but the worms evidently did permanent damage to his brain and now he is projecting his own morbid perversions onto other people.

You're the one that brought up "relations with animals" on several occasions so I made a poem about you and that theme. You shouldn't be too surprised.

[Tsar]

Shemp the Sheep took the vax
He thought he would do fine
Developed a clot in his two sacks
So not to be close to the end of the line
At least his girlfriend will care
No, she's only with him for money
He even paid her to take a horse's flare
Everyone knows Shemp doesn't get honey
Shemp's symptoms worsened and he cried
Greedy Jews were eyeing Shemp's fortune
Shemp had cardiac arrest and mysteriously died
It was his greatest and worst misfortune
Dr. HouseMD needed to become great
He created Frankenshemp the Reprobate

[Shemp]

@Tsar: weren't you planning to move to Romania? Have you learned the local language? Probably not. Instead of doing real work, you are wasting your mental energies composing doggerel sonnets that will only be read by a handful of nobodies.

[Tsar]

@Tsar: weren't you planning to move to Romania? Have you learned the local language? Probably not. Instead of doing real work, you are wasting your mental energies composing doggerel sonnets that will only be read by a handful of nobodies.

I wasn't planning to move anywhere because I need to find where I have a magnetic connection. Then I will move somewhere.

[Tsar]

Shemp thought he was a goat
So he began to bleat and bleat
He began to eat oat after oat
Then sucked a female goat's teat
The farmer caught him in the act
He thinks he's a playboy like Casanova
Shemp's a little crazy, that's a fact
Like a perverted old dog called Rover
When he gets offended it gets real
He trashes as if in an autistic fit
He begins to honk like a giant seal
Honestly, the guy must be a halfwit
Don't worry, all he needs is a good whack
Then he'll get moving like an Asian yak

No offense

[Voyager1]

This here's a jam for all the fellas
Tryin' to do what those ladies tell us
MZ Get shot down 'cause you're overzealous
Play hard to get, females get jealous
Ok, smarty, go to a party
Girls are scantily clad and showin' body
PAG - A chick walks by you wish you could sex her
But you're standin' on the wall like you was Poindexter

Next day's function, high class luncheon
Food is served and you're stone cold munchin'
Music comes on, people start to dance
Winston you ate so much you nearly shit your pants
A girl starts walkin', guys start gawkin'
Sits down next to you and starts talkin'
Says she wanna dance 'cause she likes the groove
So come on, fatso, and just bust a move

Ah, ah, yeah
Ah, ah, ah, yeah
Ah, ah, yeah (just bust a move!)
Ah, ah, yeah, ah, ah

Tsar You're on a mission and you're wishin'
Someone could cure your lonely condition
Lookin' for love in all the wrong places
No fine girls, just ugly faces
From frustration, first inclination
Is to become a monk and leave the situation
But every dark tunnel has a lighter hope
So don't hang yourself with a celibate rope

New movie's showin', so you're goin'
Shemp Could care less about the five you're blowin'
Theatre gets dark just to start the show
Then you spot a fine woman sittin' in your row
She's dressed in yellow, she says "hello
Come sit next to me, you fine fellow!"
You run over there without a second to lose
And what comes next? hey, bust a move!

If you want it, you got it
If you want it, baby, you got it, (just bust a move!)
If you want it, you got it
If you want it, baby, you got it

In the city, ladies look pretty
Guys tell jokes so they can seem witty
Tell a funny joke just to get some play
Then you try to make a move and she says, "no way"
Girls are fakin', goodness sakin'
They want a man who brings home the bacon
Tsar Got no money and you got no car
Then you got no woman and there you are

Some girls are sophistic, materialistic
Looking for a man makes them opportunistic
They're lyin' on the beach perpetratin' a tan
So that a brother with money can be their man
So on the beach you're strollin', real high-rollin'
Everything you have is yours and not stolen
A girl runs up with somethin' to prove
So don't just stand there, bust a move!

If you want it, you got it
If you want it, baby, you got it (just bust a move)
If you want it, you got it
If you want it, baby, you got it (break it down for me fellas)

Ah, ah
Ah, ah
Ah, ah
Ah, ah
Ah, ah, hey, yeah
Ooh, uh, hey, yeah!
Ooh, uh, hey, yeah!
Ooh, uh, uh, uh

[Tsar]

Tsar formed the hottest new band
Tsar & the Lolitas is what it's called
It really was magnificent and grand
But Voyager1 was completely appalled
You might ask why was it so wrong?
Because all the Lolis were thirteen
Tsar "loved" the Lolis after every song
Tsar posted "At least none are a tween"
The girls were really innocent and sweet
He took each of the Lolitas' virginal flower
Tsar enjoyed giving them an internal treat
He wouldn't accept females old and sour
Tsar would give each Loli a gentle touch
Every girl moaned...loving it so very much

(This is just a poem. I hope it's not inappropriate)

[Voyager1]

@Tsar do one of Cornfed.

[Tsar]

@Tsar do one of Cornfed.

Cornfed left New Zealand into exile
He traveled an ocean to get to Mexico
His Prime Minister is a Covid Crocodile
Now he gets to drink an infinite mojito
He has begun to lose his excess weight
He fasts for two weeks, living with hunger
He can't eat, only his thirst will he sate
He's a great guy...he isn't an old monger
But he hasn't found the female he desires
He knows that many women are now sluts
He wants a girl to ignite him with many fires
Would he ever date two girls with bubble butts?
Who knows...but he could try a beach in Cancun
Maybe he can find some tight Latina poon

[Tsar]

Tsar will be a star
Travels to lands afar
Wanting girls youthful
Always more beautiful
Pure and untainted
But "white" they'll be painted
They'll lick with their tongue
They really aren't too young
Some people say it's a vice
Spencer said take Yohan's advice
But Tsar will not bow to others
He wants to make teen mothers

[Tsar]

Sorry, Dan, no teen girls for you
You must get use to being blue
Don't worry, keep acting silly
You can play with your willy
You have that little red stamp
Makes you worse than a tramp
You might get a female that's old
Almost like eating bread with mold
You don't have the ability to run
No drinking Mai Tais in the sun
You are never leaving terrible Cali
Keep fantasizing in your lonely valley

(No offense)

[Tsar]

HouseMD was a pompous doc
He became like Jekyll and Hyde
Broken, right twice a day...a clock
He began confused and cried
But he started to become mad
He would experiment on Jews
He would smile and be glad
Injecting them with viral flus
The old doc was a really bad boy
He was caught by an Israeli spy
Quite the really uppity bad Goy
A scalpel plunged into one eye
There was nowhere for him to run
The Mossad killed him with a gun

(No offense)