Happier Abroad Forum Community

Ever been in this situation, you really want to go out and meet new people, but have no-one to meet up with, your friends are being flaky, boring home-buddies or have moved away. You're left with two equally unpleasant choices; be cooped-in or go to a pub on your own (no thanks). If only I was in a city where there were things to do in the evening that didn't require friends to tag along with, such as salsa events, games nights, language exchanges and places where I know people I know congregate that I can just drop into without the hassle of making plans. That would be great. I am of the knowledge that even people with gigantic social circle are occasionally cast into this situation. It sucks that if there;s no-one available to meet up with, there's nothing to do but go to pubs on your own.

I think I hit the nail on the head for why the social scene is so terrible and non-single-friendly; lack of things to drop into that don't require you to go with someone. I would even argue that social isolation is FORCED for a lot of people (whether going to sit in a noisy pub alone could be consider a 'choice' is debatable, for a large segment of the population, I think not). If those third choices were an option locally, then social isolation would be a choice.

At least in some cities out there in some countries, if you don't want to stay in and have no-one available to go out with, you're not forced to against your will. There is at least a CHOICE of things to do.

It's okay to go to bars alone at happy hour, and people will be at ease and more open. You'll typically see the same people after a while.

Sunday-Thursday evening, it's okay to go to a coffee shop and read a book, but that's pretty much the only option. You can't really go out alone Friday or Saturday evening because not having any plans with other people those nights makes you a loser. I don't know, maybe a coffee shop on a Friday night is a great place to chat up a lonely studious girl.

A sports league or running club can be an okay place to make friends, but you won't meet girls there.

Of course if you have a job as a waiter, bartender, cashier, or other customer-facing position you can go to work and talk to hundreds of people a few nights a week, and get paid for it. Just being a cashier at a hip book store will get you a constant flow of people to talk to and things to do. Once I found that, I stopped hanging around coffee shops and bars spending money and trying to make things happen when everyone around me was obviously lonely but fiercely antisocial. I stay at home most of the time now, because going out and spending money is not worth it.