Happier Abroad Forum Community

During my travels, I have come across very few women who are willing to help pay for dates. I know some American women aren't as well, but I think if you stick to mostly professional women, they're far more inclined to pay for their own freakin' dinner during a date. Some people on here may think I'm selfish, but there is nothing selfish about wanting to invest your hard earned money and hours of your life on yourself and only yourself. To be selfish is to expect someone else to pay for you. In some ways I have to say I prefer the modern dating game better than that of the past. I prefer having my autonomy and not having to support a woman, and dating women who are capable of supporting themselves. I think many men who wish we could go back to the 1950s way should be careful for what they wish for.

I had a date with a girl from Bangladesh that was far from demanding. We just agreed I'd pay the check while she tips. I agree with you - compromise.

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Ghost wrote:Paying for dinner is the last thing I'm concerned about.

I agree, paying for some food are usually small expenses, no need to count every single dollar.
It does not make sense even to think about.

It depends on what you guys want. I think her paying for her own dinner says a lot about her. I'm a MGTOW in a way that I have less and less desire to ever get married every day. Why would I ever want to spend a penny on a woman, unless she was really important to me? Remember fellas, a penny saved is worth more than a penny earned. I prefer to invest in myself. The whole point of this is that it's much better to have a woman who can pay for her self than one who is too worthless to do so.

I forgot to add the most important thing here.. If you pay for her meal, she will only look at you like a wallet. She will be forever psychologically conditioned to associate you with a meal ticket. You are not a human being with interests, ambitions, and hobbies. You exist in her life because she is hungry. If you think for one second she'll actually appreciate you, when you can bet your ass she's doing the same thing to several other guys simultaneously, you have no clue about the nature of women. If this isn't dehumanizing to you, I don't know what is.

I'm personally not really looking for anything at this point. Just dating and whatever happens, happens. If you just want to get laid, sure, whatever. Swallow your pride and pay for her dinner so you can get the lay.

sentinel89 wrote: I'm a MGTOW in a way that I have less and less desire to ever get married every day. Why would I ever want to spend a penny on a woman, unless she was really important to me?

I think in general, the person who invites, should pay.

About your comment, I merely wanted to say, that these expenses are a small amount of money compared to my income, and I pay often when meeting some friends, and sometimes they pay. Sometimes I have visitors from Asian countries and I pay here in Tokio, and when meeting them in their own country they will pay... I do not count every single dollar I spend for some lunch or dinner.

My wallet however remains firmly closed when facing charities, which are all known to give only a little amount to the 'poor children' and keep the big part of donations for themselves. Same is with 'religious visitors' ringing on my door all the time and claiming to rescue my soul if I join their church organization and of course in return they expect a donation from me for their offer. - Money from me? No way...

Yohan wrote:

sentinel89 wrote: I'm a MGTOW in a way that I have less and less desire to ever get married every day. Why would I ever want to spend a penny on a woman, unless she was really important to me?

I think in general, the person who invites, should pay.

About your comment, I merely wanted to say, that these expenses are a small amount of money compared to my income, and I pay often when meeting some friends, and sometimes they pay. Sometimes I have visitors from Asian countries and I pay here in Tokio, and when meeting them in their own country they will pay... I do not count every single dollar I spend for some lunch or dinner.

My wallet however remains firmly closed when facing charities, which are all known to give only a little amount to the 'poor children' and keep the big part of donations for themselves. Same is with 'religious visitors' ringing on my door all the time and claiming to rescue my soul if I join their church organization and of course in return they expect a donation from me for their offer. - Money from me? No way...

I've personally never paid for a guy friend just because I invited him out to lunch with me. I don't know where that comes from. It's "would you like to spend time with me," not "can I pay you to spend time with me for a couple hours?' Why would I treat it any different for a woman?

I don't know about Tokyo, but if you go to a luxurious place in the undeveloped world, it will actually cost more, sometimes up to 3x as much as it would in the developed world. Same thing if you get a gym membership to a nice gym. The capital to provide quality services in undeveloped nations is scarce, so it costs even more. Of course, upscale bitches expect upscale dinners. That's why I'm sticking to the "girl next door" type of girls for now.

I'd have to ask you what you think you're accomplishing by paying for her meal at a nice expensive place? Would you drop a few dollars in a burning fireplace just because "it's not a big expense compared to my income?"

sentinel89 wrote: I don't know about Tokyo, but if you go to a luxurious place in the undeveloped world, it will actually cost more, sometimes up to 3x as much as it would in the developed world.
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I'd have to ask you what you think you're accomplishing by paying for her meal at a nice expensive place? Would you drop a few dollars in a burning fireplace just because "it's not a big expense compared to my income?"

Tokyo is full with restaurants of any price category and all Japanese are obsessed with going out for eating, karaoke, etc. etc. and usually these are not such luxurious places, and sometimes one person pays and sometimes another.

Maybe I misunderstand something, but Tokyo is not a city in the undeveloped world. As said before plenty of money is wasted for eating outdoors in all Japan with or without friends, co-workers, newly met people etc. etc.

The same is also going on with small gifts from and to everybody all the time.

Most people really think in this mindset 'no big expense compared to my income' in Japan. Nobody thinks about 'to accomplishing something'.

Yohan wrote:

sentinel89 wrote: I don't know about Tokyo, but if you go to a luxurious place in the undeveloped world, it will actually cost more, sometimes up to 3x as much as it would in the developed world.
.....
I'd have to ask you what you think you're accomplishing by paying for her meal at a nice expensive place? Would you drop a few dollars in a burning fireplace just because "it's not a big expense compared to my income?"

Tokyo is full with restaurants of any price category and all Japanese are obsessed with going out for eating, karaoke, etc. etc. and usually these are not such luxurious places, and sometimes one person pays and sometimes another.

Maybe I misunderstand something, but Tokyo is not a city in the undeveloped world. As said before plenty of money is wasted for eating outdoors in all Japan with or without friends, co-workers, newly met people etc. etc.

The same is also going on with small gifts from and to everybody all the time.

Most people really think in this mindset 'no big expense compared to my income' in Japan. Nobody thinks about 'to accomplishing something'.

I never implied that Tokyo was undeveloped, that's why I was trying to make a clear distinction to what I was referring to - my experiences in Latin America. Latin America and Japan probably have 0 in common culturally, unless if you are in one of the few pocket Asian communities in Brazil or Peru. Obviously, Japan is a first world country that is somewhat of an exception in terms of culture, as in it is also nothing like the west (correct me if I'm wrong, this is my preconceived notion). With Latinas, you'll attract all the wrong types of women if you give them gifts and buy them fancy dinners. But, if you date professional white women in the United States, they are far less likely to expect you to pay for their dinner. I actually have had girls pay for my drinks in night-outs, with the unspoken agreement that I'd of course cover the expenses the next time. That's the point I was trying to make.

It's funny. My first girlfriend, back in 2001, she actually paid for both me and her on practically all dates we went on! And she even insisted that she pay! And I pretty much just rolled with it.

The first time the man pays. Thereafter, if she has a job, she ought to either take turns with you paying the whole bill, or pay for herself. We are living in the age of equality.

But I don't believe in dating. So this is a moot point to me. You guys actually worry about stuff like this. I guess if you are going to be a serial dater, then yes, this is a valid concern, because you'll be dealing with like-minded people, whose intentions are only to date every person they can. That's the Merry-Go-Round you've hopped onto. As your posts openly state, you've shunned true relationships because you fear the loss of money. So you've chosen to have temporary relationships, because you're concerned about money.

I have never met a woman that would be willing to go dutch. if you ask a woman to go dutch she'll flake on you.

Having dates is good everywhere regardless of paying for dinner or not. It's not having dates that is the problem, which seem like the issue of many young men these days.

I'm irked if a woman steps on my toes and insists to split a bill or worse yet pay for me. I once had a woman get ahead of me in the coffee line at Starbucks for a date and pay the cashier for our teas. I handed her a few bucks and she just shook her head. That definitely bothered me, but it was also my fault for not making sure I got strategically positioned ahead of her in the line.