My family is holding me back from HA

[MattHanson1990]

After my third trip to Ciudad Juarez, my family found out that I went to Mexico. First my scum feminazi sister found my passport in my pants pocket when she was looking for my cell phone. She said it was "naive" to go to Mexico and that I did something very dangerous. She said that I'll be happier in America than overseas. WTF? I nearly suffered a mental breakdown thanks to that bitch.

Then my dad found a few Mexican peso coins, and this is what he said to me. He said that if I go to Mexico, I put my family at risk. He thinks that I'll be kidnapped for ransom. Not only that, he thinks the kidnappers will call him, ask for a million dollars, and then he will have to sell his house and become homeless to get me released. OMG. He wants me to put HIS needs and desires first before mine.

The problem is that they believe what they hear on the news, and we all know that the mainstream likes to make us live in fear. My family is so negative.

I am so f***ing desperate to leave my family; I can't stand them anymore. I want to just cut off all contact with them, and I don't ever want to see them again.

[aozora13]

Matt,

That seems really crazy. I am wondering why your sister was looking for your cell phone first of all. Still, I guess the state of Juarez is related to drug cartel so that might be the reason. However, I was told by my parents, my Brazilian friend (Brazilian but naturalized American citizen) about how dangerous Mexico is and that I should not have gone to Mexico to meet a Mexican woman who worked for a telecom company at the time. I had a great time with her and enjoyed it better than even my ex who I broke up with recently.

I am not sure about totally cutting contact with them but I agree that once you can get yourself more self-sufficient you should limit contact with them unless a family event. It just seems that they want you to be 'safe' in the USSA. I believe that if you been to the Cuidad Juarez several times that you know your way around the city and that you are not just a naive tourist. Naturally the state of Juarez has violence but to be honest, there are violent places all around the US that are worse than Mexico. Also, another example was that most cities in Mexico are fairly safe. Sure there are corrupt police in the country but the US is not any better at how they treat Americans usually for minor infractions. Hopefully, you can eventually move out and limit your interaction with your family.

[MattHanson1990]

Matt,

That seems really crazy. I am wondering why your sister was looking for your cell phone first of all. Still, I guess the state of Juarez is related to drug cartel so that might be the reason. However, I was told by my parents, my Brazilian friend (Brazilian but naturalized American citizen) about how dangerous Mexico is and that I should not have gone to Mexico to meet a Mexican woman who worked for a telecom company at the time. I had a great time with her and enjoyed it better than even my ex who I broke up with recently.

I am not sure about totally cutting contact with them but I agree that once you can get yourself more self-sufficient you should limit contact with them unless a family event. It just seems that they want you to be 'safe' in the USSA. I believe that if you been to the Cuidad Juarez several times that you know your way around the city and that you are not just a naive tourist. Naturally the state of Juarez has violence but to be honest, there are violent places all around the US that are worse than Mexico. Also, another example was that most cities in Mexico are fairly safe. Sure there are corrupt police in the country but the US is not any better at how they treat Americans usually for minor infractions. Hopefully, you can eventually move out and limit your interaction with your family.

At least one of my good female friends from high school says to be careful. Even that girl I hit it off with in El Paso before I graduated from college told me just to be careful in Ciudad Juarez.

[starchild5]

Just chill....Its always going to be this way....You are designed to be born in a family that do not understand you....Everywhere its the same story...It does not matter where you were born...You don't need to get angry with parents but understand their Ignorance and move accordingly.

You should have known this already...and made plans that they never found your trip...You were very casual about it all...It looks like you are not fully aware of the control system that is designed to screw you.....You still seem to be believe in family structure and have emotional bonding with family....YOU MUST LOVE YOUR FAMILY BUT NEVER LISTEN TO THEM....

You will never find a parent on earth ...Who would say....go on son...go to mexico...have fun..enjoy...don't forget to date those hot chicas ..

Never DO THIS

I am so f***ing desperate to leave my family; I can't stand them anymore. I want to just cut off all contact with them, and I don't ever want to see them again.

The more you think like this...The more you will be stuck and the control system won't allow you to be free...You really need to come to terms with the Evil and move accordingly...Your are attached to the DNA level with your family....Never be angry BUT SMARTER...

Work on a plan....YOU CAN NEVER DITCH YOUR FAMILY AND BE FREE......You need a WORK AROUND...A SOLUTION....

They will always be THERE....What you need is a BETTER PLAN...Good Luck

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Don't listen to any idiot who says you should never detach from an abusive family. They are wrong.

We do not choose are families. When we are young, we have to endure everything short of illegal, and that can sometimes be horrible. But when we are grown, you have no obligation to a family that devalues, abuses, demeans, and discourages your life path.

If we can choose our spouses, then choose to detach from them if need be, then we have even more of a right to detach ourselves from abusive families we did not choose.

I ought to know, I "divorced" my family several years ago and have never known more personal contentment.

Do what will enhance your life and keep it free from abusive family members.

[Rock]

After my third trip to Ciudad Juarez, my family found out that I went to Mexico. First my scum feminazi sister found my passport in my pants pocket when she was looking for my cell phone. She said it was "naive" to go to Mexico and that I did something very dangerous. She said that I'll be happier in America than overseas. WTF? I nearly suffered a mental breakdown thanks to that bitch.

Then my dad found a few Mexican peso coins, and this is what he said to me. He said that if I go to Mexico, I put my family at risk. He thinks that I'll be kidnapped for ransom. Not only that, he thinks the kidnappers will call him, ask for a million dollars, and then he will have to sell his house and become homeless to get me released. OMG. He wants me to put HIS needs and desires first before mine.

The problem is that they believe what they hear on the news, and we all know that the mainstream likes to make us live in fear. My family is so negative.

I am so f***ing desperate to leave my family; I can't stand them anymore. I want to just cut off all contact with them, and I don't ever want to see them again.

Matt, your sis sounds awful. Ignore her and distance yourself from her when she's like that.

But I can actually understand your parents position on the Mexico thing. When I used to visit Colombia, I also wondered how things would play out if I were to get kidnapped and my parents were contacted. Imagine just because of my wanderlust and attraction to danger, it plays out and my parents hand over everything to save my life. Then what. Well their lives are ruined and no inheritance for my sister. That would just not be fair and I would feel like I single handedly ruined my whole family.

So, I would probably hope just to get killed in a fast and non-painful way like a bullet to the head. That would be better than having to live with the guilt and shame of destroying my family financially over my own personal choices.

I don't think it's selfish on their part to be concerned about kidnapping risk. You are already past 18 and they shouldn't have to bail you out if it seriously harms them and your sibling(s) materially. If I were you, I would tell them to just let the kidnappers keep you, not to pay any ransom.

[Ghost]

.

[Banano]

Most tavel insurances cover kidnappings but im not sure about mexico and colombia. Check your policy.
I always get free travel insurence through my platinum credit card which include kidnappings up to 250 or 500k

[Cornfed]

Most tavel insurances cover kidnappings but im not sure about mexico and colombia. Check your policy.
I always get free travel insurence through my platinum credit card which include kidnappings up to 250 or 500k

Is that irregardless of the country they are in? It sounds quite lucrative to kidnapp tourists for the insurance money.

[davewe]

I don't think you should break off contact from your family - sounds extreme. I guess the main question for me is - are you living at home? The sister going through your pants made me assume that you are. If so, arrange to move out. But if you choose to live at home, then deal with the unfortunate reality that they will assume they have the right to tell you what to do.

As far as kidnappings, the media (particularly Fox News) emphasizes this in foreign countries. Remind your father that there are plenty of kidnappings in the USA and tell them that you don't expect him to bail you out. Honestly the kidnapping and murder fears are overblown. Sure it happens but you could just as easily die in bed.

I've done about a million things that I am sure family members did not agree with. It's their problem. This is all part of growing up.

OTOH, if you have a family member whose input you trust and respect, talk to him about what you are doing. Sometimes people do do things that are unwise and having a trusted mentor can help. Truth is I have one (and only one) of those in my family and do seek advise at times.

[Banano]

We will not pay if:
• the kidnapping occurs in the countries or territorial
waters of Mexico, the Philippines, Somalia or in any
country (or their territorial waters) located in Central
America or South America


Seems like any other country is covered up to 250K

[MattHanson1990]

Just chill....Its always going to be this way....You are designed to be born in a family that do not understand you....Everywhere its the same story...It does not matter where you were born...You don't need to get angry with parents but understand their Ignorance and move accordingly.

You should have known this already...and made plans that they never found your trip...You were very casual about it all...It looks like you are not fully aware of the control system that is designed to screw you.....You still seem to be believe in family structure and have emotional bonding with family....YOU MUST LOVE YOUR FAMILY BUT NEVER LISTEN TO THEM....

You will never find a parent on earth ...Who would say....go on son...go to mexico...have fun..enjoy...don't forget to date those hot chicas ..

Never DO THIS

I am so f***ing desperate to leave my family; I can't stand them anymore. I want to just cut off all contact with them, and I don't ever want to see them again.

The more you think like this...The more you will be stuck and the control system won't allow you to be free...You really need to come to terms with the Evil and move accordingly...Your are attached to the DNA level with your family....Never be angry BUT SMARTER...

Work on a plan....YOU CAN NEVER DITCH YOUR FAMILY AND BE FREE......You need a WORK AROUND...A SOLUTION....

They will always be THERE....What you need is a BETTER PLAN...Good Luck

I think this next plan I have is any pesos I get in change I will exchange for dollars and deposit them to my bank account via an ATM.

[MattHanson1990]

After my third trip to Ciudad Juarez, my family found out that I went to Mexico. First my scum feminazi sister found my passport in my pants pocket when she was looking for my cell phone. She said it was "naive" to go to Mexico and that I did something very dangerous. She said that I'll be happier in America than overseas. WTF? I nearly suffered a mental breakdown thanks to that bitch.

Then my dad found a few Mexican peso coins, and this is what he said to me. He said that if I go to Mexico, I put my family at risk. He thinks that I'll be kidnapped for ransom. Not only that, he thinks the kidnappers will call him, ask for a million dollars, and then he will have to sell his house and become homeless to get me released. OMG. He wants me to put HIS needs and desires first before mine.

The problem is that they believe what they hear on the news, and we all know that the mainstream likes to make us live in fear. My family is so negative.

I am so f***ing desperate to leave my family; I can't stand them anymore. I want to just cut off all contact with them, and I don't ever want to see them again.

Matt, your sis sounds awful. Ignore her and distance yourself from her when she's like that.

But I can actually understand your parents position on the Mexico thing. When I used to visit Colombia, I also wondered how things would play out if I were to get kidnapped and my parents were contacted. Imagine just because of my wanderlust and attraction to danger, it plays out and my parents hand over everything to save my life. Then what. Well their lives are ruined and no inheritance for my sister. That would just not be fair and I would feel like I single handedly ruined my whole family.

So, I would probably hope just to get killed in a fast and non-painful way like a bullet to the head. That would be better than having to live with the guilt and shame of destroying my family financially over my own personal choices.

I don't think it's selfish on their part to be concerned about kidnapping risk. You are already past 18 and they shouldn't have to bail you out if it seriously harms them and your sibling(s) materially. If I were you, I would tell them to just let the kidnappers keep you, not to pay any ransom.

About the kidnapping risks, I met this composer in Albuquerque, and he said that the risk of being kidnapped is higher only if I'm just messing around in Mexico. And I think if one gets involved in organized crime or the drug trade, the risk of kidnapping is higher. Kidnappers won't just kidnap anyone.

The media has really blown things out of proportion, and this is why we live in fear.

[colibri]

You can't cut off ur family for good or bad they will always be with you , work hard so one day u can proof them wrong in wherever country or place u find happiness.

[MrMan]

Juarez used to be extremely dangerous. But with some of the drug lords getting out of it and becoming Christians and some changes in society, I hear people are going back to the park in Ciudad Juarez. Still, Mexico may not be the safest place. It doesn't sound weird to me for them to think going abroad is so dangerous. But if you don't want them to worry, there are plenty of other Spanish speaking places south of Mexico. Maybe you could find a non-feminist city where women are friendly. Would they freak out about trips to Asia or other places? I know, Mexico is probably a lot cheaper. You can drive there from some parts of the US.

I told my mom by email once in the 1990's that I was going to Singapore to get my visa done. She sent me an email to be careful because it sounded like a dangerous place. I had a laugh over that. I lived in Jakarta, where you could easily get run over crossing the street. Singapore is probably safer than a lot of small towns in the US. She'd heard the report of the government caning a teenager for vandalism.