Why do some guys claim to experience no suffering?

[droid]

I'm just speaking truth to bullshit, Winston. Want to end suffering? Take control of your mind. The only things in life you have complete control over are your thoughts and your attitudes.
Thoughts arise spontaneously, but you don't have to 'think about your thoughts'. That's objective thinking, which can be controlled.
Your attitude is your problem, not someone else's. You can have 100% control over your attitude. It takes work. Nobody can do it for you.

Not entirely true I think, as that control itself should come from the spontaneous thoughts, excuse the recursion here lol.
If action doesn't "happen" to spawn, you're stuck with the attitude. We're kind of condemned to our hard-wired circuitry, to a point.

It's kind of like those that "decide" to quit smoking, and since they "decided", they are successful. But maybe in part their body just doesn't want the stuff anymore.
Having said that, our words here can probably have some effect on Winston's "program" to some extent lol.

[droid]

... duplicated post, sorry ...

[Mystery Writer]

Either there's an echo in here, or the EDIT button isn't working. Hmm.

Our words here will only have some effect if Winston grows a pair -- of ears.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Men in America are conditioned to "suck it up." Male suffering is not supposed to matter. Men are not supposed to complain about sexual abuse, harassment, or unhappiness in America.

What you experienced in that guy is conditioning. He likely suffers deeply but the veneer of American manliness seethes under the surface. That guy likely has an outlet that is unhealthy such as drinking, drugs, or some other vice that eases the pressure.

[SilverEnergy]

I'm just speaking truth to bullshit, Winston. Want to end suffering? Take control of your mind. The only things in life you have complete control over are your thoughts and your attitudes.

Thoughts arise spontaneously, but you don't have to 'think about your thoughts'. That's objective thinking, which can be controlled.

Your attitude is your problem, not someone else's. You can have 100% control over your attitude. It takes work. Nobody can do it for you.

As for your assertion that you don't paint things in black and white, ! Go back and find examples (not just here, in this post) of where you declare that everybody here is a nonconformist, agrees with you and buys into your HA (Hate America) rants. Honestly, all-or-nothing is black and white.

Perhaps if you focus your attention on succeeding in life, according to a business plan, your results may be better. You pour a lot of work into this forum, but it's a time-consuming pursuit with no end goal in your favor. A shift to a SMART plan might be better:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Actionable
• Realistic
• Timed

Most importantly, you need a Mission Statement with a positive thrust. "America Sucks" ain't it. Work on that and you might find you will be Leaving Las Vegas, not by suicide (like the guy in the movie), but because you can actually afford to get the health care you say you need abroad.

I consider this forum a useful tool for my research into retiring to the Philippines. It is by no means the only source of information on the subject. I'm attracted to the Philippines and Filipinos because of those I have met here, in the USA. They were affable, well-spoken and generally successful in life. Some relocated here. Some were here for higher education. Two were the children of Governors. None of them were 'provincial'.

I want to move there because I like the tropics, I like Filipinos and I like the idea of a pretty, well-spoken young woman loving me devotedly. I have plans for helping locals improve their lot in life through a specific tool that I won't discuss here (it's irrelevant to this discussion).

What's your plan?

+1000

[marklambo]

Men in America are conditioned to "suck it up." Male suffering is not supposed to matter. Men are not supposed to complain about sexual abuse, harassment, or unhappiness in America.

What you experienced in that guy is conditioning. He likely suffers deeply but the veneer of American manliness seethes under the surface. That guy likely has an outlet that is unhealthy such as drinking, drugs, or some other vice that eases the pressure.

Nope, I don't do drugs and never experimented with any in my life. The only so called "drug" I did was smoke weed over 18 years ago. Haven't smoked since. I haven't had an alcoholic drink in about a year and a half. I was never an alcoholic either. I only drank socially when going out. I am very healthy, I eat right, I go to the gym regularly. My T levels are good and overall I feel great. Not every man "suffers". Why is it such a taboo that a man can't be happy just because he lives in America? And if a man is happy, it is assumed that he's hiding it. Not everyone in America is unhappy and suffering. To be honest, what I feel from this forum is that many are depressed or are extremely unhappy with their lives. Am I the only "happy" person here? There is no way that I am the only one...

[Mystery Writer]

To be honest, what I feel from this forum is that many are depressed or are extremely unhappy with their lives. Am I the only "happy" person here? There is no way that I am the only one...

You're not the only happy person here. It's just that there are too many unhappy, vocal crybabies who won't own up to their own problems. Most of their 'wounds' are self-inflicted.

The problem is, when you tell them that, you're a 'hater' who won't validate their loopy explanation for why their lives suck. Instead, you don't 'respect' how awfully they've suffered.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Men in America are conditioned to "suck it up." Male suffering is not supposed to matter. Men are not supposed to complain about sexual abuse, harassment, or unhappiness in America.

What you experienced in that guy is conditioning. He likely suffers deeply but the veneer of American manliness seethes under the surface. That guy likely has an outlet that is unhealthy such as drinking, drugs, or some other vice that eases the pressure.

Nope, I don't do drugs and never experimented with any in my life. The only so called "drug" I did was smoke weed over 18 years ago. Haven't smoked since. I haven't had an alcoholic drink in about a year and a half. I was never an alcoholic either. I only drank socially when going out. I am very healthy, I eat right, I go to the gym regularly. My T levels are good and overall I feel great. Not every man "suffers". Why is it such a taboo that a man can't be happy just because he lives in America? And if a man is happy, it is assumed that he's hiding it. Not everyone in America is unhappy and suffering. To be honest, what I feel from this forum is that many are depressed or are extremely unhappy with their lives. Am I the only "happy" person here? There is no way that I am the only one...

I did not know until now that Winston was talking about you in this thread so pardon me if you took that personally. I will say that I find it implausible that someone has a perfectly happy life. Perhaps you are going through a particularly satisfying period in your life and that is great.

But that will not last. Suffering is part of the human experience. If you have not suffered, set your watch as it will occur. Medical conditions, family deaths, job problems, toxic people, relationship troubles, and a host of other things will find their way into your life like they affect others.

My larger point is that men do not have to behave as everything is all honky dory when it is not. So when the time comes that your "happiness" takes a break, do know that.

[Cornfed]

Historically most men have been happy when they are functioning in and contributing to a community that is worthy of their contribution and focused on worthy goals. Since no such community exists in the modern West, it is hard to see how a non-psychopath could be terribly happy in the long term.

[marklambo]

Men in America are conditioned to "suck it up." Male suffering is not supposed to matter. Men are not supposed to complain about sexual abuse, harassment, or unhappiness in America.

What you experienced in that guy is conditioning. He likely suffers deeply but the veneer of American manliness seethes under the surface. That guy likely has an outlet that is unhealthy such as drinking, drugs, or some other vice that eases the pressure.

Nope, I don't do drugs and never experimented with any in my life. The only so called "drug" I did was smoke weed over 18 years ago. Haven't smoked since. I haven't had an alcoholic drink in about a year and a half. I was never an alcoholic either. I only drank socially when going out. I am very healthy, I eat right, I go to the gym regularly. My T levels are good and overall I feel great. Not every man "suffers". Why is it such a taboo that a man can't be happy just because he lives in America? And if a man is happy, it is assumed that he's hiding it. Not everyone in America is unhappy and suffering. To be honest, what I feel from this forum is that many are depressed or are extremely unhappy with their lives. Am I the only "happy" person here? There is no way that I am the only one...

I did not know until now that Winston was talking about you in this thread so pardon me if you took that personally. I will say that I find it implausible that someone has a perfectly happy life. Perhaps you are going through a particularly satisfying period in your life and that is great.

But that will not last. Suffering is part of the human experience. If you have not suffered, set your watch as it will occur. Medical conditions, family deaths, job problems, toxic people, relationship troubles, and a host of other things will find their way into your life like they affect others.

My larger point is that men do not have to behave as everything is all honky dory when it is not. So when the time comes that your "happiness" takes a break, do know that.

No problem, I figured you didn't know based on how you wrote that reply. Of course every person suffers something eventually in life, that is life. I have had some major setbacks and major problems in the past of course...I think most people experience something at least once in their lives. I've experienced financial hardships, depressing relationships, etc. I know what it's like to "suffer" but sometimes it seems that people expect you to suffer every moment of your life and that does not have to be the case.

[Winston]

Do u think everyone suffers in some way? Equally? Or do some people experience no suffering?

Some people like mark lambo claim they have no suffering or social isolation in america. How do they do that? Whats their secret? If they have a way out of suffering why dont they write a book about it and reveal their secret? Lol

Do simple people suffer or only people who think too much suffer?

Usually if u dont have money problems then u have psychological or mental problems. The universe makes sure u have one or the other. Thats what i noticed.

[Winston]

@marklambo

If you really experience no suffering in life in general on a daily basis (except for the occasional setback) then why don't you write a book and explain your secret to living a life without suffering? You could make millions if your secret really works. Do you have any secrets that Buddhism or New Age doesn't have?

[Winston]

Someone told me:

"There is no equality to who suffers more. The poor and dumb suffermore."

[9/11, 9:37 PM] Winston Wu: But then how come theres the saying that "ignorance is bliss"? If u were a dog and didnt know anything u could be happy for no reason right? If youre a philosopher u could always find reasons to be unhappy by thinking too much right?

Thats why poor simple filipinos tend to smile and look relaxed and carefree.

But japanese with more money and class look grim and repressed. Ladislav says the japanese have a dark soul when u get to know them. I say the same about taiwanese. Very self hating and self repressing and grim. No ability to enjoy life or laugh or let loose or be carefree. Always in state of fear and guilt and too serious and too uptight.

So mexicans and filipinos seem to look happier than japanese or taiwanese or Americans. How do u explain that?

Smart people tend to see problems everywhere and issues to try to make sense out of and try to solve. In that sense smart people arent as happy. They overanalyze and try to solve everything instead of letting the universe be like taoism teaches. Problems tend to solve themselves.

[yick]

If you understand that life is about joy, happiness, suffering, pain, acceptance and rejection and all of it is temporary then you gain a lot of power.

When shit things happen, you have to realise that it will leave you eventually. You have to understand that nothing is permanent - the Buddha teaches that lesson. Life is an ongoing organ where you need to forgive constantly, try and improve constantly, read constantly, learn and be a better person - it's always ongoing, if you decided to stop doing any of these things then life starts to deteriorate because you're not going forward, you're just standing still!

Life is all about learning new lessons and experiencing new things and trying to be a better, more decent person. The ancient Chinese megatale 'The Journey to the West' was about exactly that - pain, suffering, defeat and misfortune can be used to make you a better person and you can learn from it. If you're suffering - its because you're standing still or you're harking back to the past - you can't change the past, it will always be with you, you need to forgive and move on - and it is hard to do this, it isn't easy but you don't have to live a life of suffering, you don't have to live like that at all unless on some subconscious level that is what you want.

[Winston]

Great points Yick. I agree with you. I thought you were just a redneck. I didn't know you had some intellectual wisdom too. lol.

Now the thing is, I don't think the Buddhist way of trying to reduce your desires or detach from them, is realistic. Even if you could do that, it would make you less human, because our desires is what make us feel alive. Nature gave us desires for a reason, not to get rid of them. So I've always had some skepticism toward Buddhism, even though it contains a lot of truth, and meditation is very useful for balancing your mind and regaining control over yourself. I don't think repression or trying to change human nature is the answer. Nor is abandoning the ego. The ego is there for a reason, not to be dismissed altogether.

A better approach I think, is offered by Stoicism and Nietzsche, which is to not take life seriously, and instead to see it like a drama or cosmic play, like when you watch a theatre drama. You laugh and cry with the characters, but you know it's all a stage and show. If you treat life like that, your suffering will be a lot less, because it's just a movie to you and you don't take it too seriously. That's sort of my approach too. I cannot just detach my desires or repress them or pretend they don't exist. That's simply not realistic. But learning to laugh more and take life less seriously (like many Russians and Eastern Europeans and Latin Americans do) is realistic and achievable, because one can change their attitude in that way.

That's my take on it anyway.

Btw, you mention Buddhism. I'm sure you know that most Buddhist sects believe in reincarnation right? So why then Yick, do you ignore me when I talk about my possible past lives, as though you discount them and won't even entertain the possibility, even though there's a lot of good research on the topic by great researchers like Dr. Ian Stevenson, and even university departments like the University of Virginia, and many compelling documented cases? If you're into Buddhism, then you should be open to the possibility of reincarnation right?