To Tsar Re: attitudes to relationships
Posted: December 10th, 2013, 1:07 pm
I must admit that I don't post very often here, I usually like to lurk and occasionally check stuff out. I have indeed read some of your posts and in some ways, do agree with what you sy about people's attitudes towards love and relationships. This is where I would like to put my input.
I'm very well aware that you have stated openly about not keen you are on, basically women with multiple sexual partners. I'm imagining that your need to feel wanted and special to someone, and to be able to trust someone is very important to you.
It's perfectly normal for guys to be put-off by women who's had lots of sexual experience.
I think the number one reason that they're put-off, is mainly because of the sense that 'how could I be anything special to this person'.
No doubt, it's also harder to trust someone, particularly if they're the kind that appear to take dating and relationships for granted.
To a smaller degree, there is possibly fear about being compared to previous partners.
I'm sure that a lot of guys feel like that.
Now, as for me, I certainly wouldn't mind women with a handful of relationships that haven't worked-out for whatever reason. However, for one's who seem to treat boyfriends like disposable commodities, who throw them away like used tyres, who appear to take them for-granted (yuck!) or who judge prospective partners by their number of partners (seriously, how trashy is that?), that would be a different story and yes, those things really put me off. IN fact, my definition of a skank would be a woman who appears to take relationships for-granted.
We ALL have a need to trust people, to feel wanted by others, as I have illustrated above. The degree to which varies tremendously from person to person of course. I guess these needs are particularly great among the sensitive.
What I do find particularly perverse about modern attitudes towards relationships, is that if you do have those afore-mentioned values and needs, people are quick to judge you negatively for it, to say you have some kind of childish fantasy (who knows, probably such people are jaded and cynical, you really cannot blame them if they've largely dealt with skanks can you?). Some even go so far as saying those needing to be able to trust a woman and to feel like they're someone special to their partner makes them less of a man! WTF!? That's pretty dysfunctional and judgemental.
Sure, there are people out there who's values are more towards short-term fun. I haven't got a problem with that at all. We all have different values and needs, and the degree of importance varies a lot from person to person. The problem with western culture, is that is DOESN'T RESPECT THIS.
I'm very well aware that you have stated openly about not keen you are on, basically women with multiple sexual partners. I'm imagining that your need to feel wanted and special to someone, and to be able to trust someone is very important to you.
It's perfectly normal for guys to be put-off by women who's had lots of sexual experience.
I think the number one reason that they're put-off, is mainly because of the sense that 'how could I be anything special to this person'.
No doubt, it's also harder to trust someone, particularly if they're the kind that appear to take dating and relationships for granted.
To a smaller degree, there is possibly fear about being compared to previous partners.
I'm sure that a lot of guys feel like that.
Now, as for me, I certainly wouldn't mind women with a handful of relationships that haven't worked-out for whatever reason. However, for one's who seem to treat boyfriends like disposable commodities, who throw them away like used tyres, who appear to take them for-granted (yuck!) or who judge prospective partners by their number of partners (seriously, how trashy is that?), that would be a different story and yes, those things really put me off. IN fact, my definition of a skank would be a woman who appears to take relationships for-granted.
We ALL have a need to trust people, to feel wanted by others, as I have illustrated above. The degree to which varies tremendously from person to person of course. I guess these needs are particularly great among the sensitive.
What I do find particularly perverse about modern attitudes towards relationships, is that if you do have those afore-mentioned values and needs, people are quick to judge you negatively for it, to say you have some kind of childish fantasy (who knows, probably such people are jaded and cynical, you really cannot blame them if they've largely dealt with skanks can you?). Some even go so far as saying those needing to be able to trust a woman and to feel like they're someone special to their partner makes them less of a man! WTF!? That's pretty dysfunctional and judgemental.
Sure, there are people out there who's values are more towards short-term fun. I haven't got a problem with that at all. We all have different values and needs, and the degree of importance varies a lot from person to person. The problem with western culture, is that is DOESN'T RESPECT THIS.