Happier Abroad Forum Community

I have often found that none of my friends can go with me places because they cannot get up off their lazy asses to do anything so always I am forced to go places alone. It sucks but every weekend I have chosen to go out places and let nothing stop me from at least making an effort to enjoy my life.

In 2009, I was in a chronic state of heartbreak and depression but one night I chose to drive out to a nightclub with a positive attitude that I was good enough to meet people on my own. Because that is what everyone was telling me was that I was unhappy because I had a bad attitude towards life. As soon as I got there a bouncer shined a light in my face and said I needed to tuck in my shirt. Then I noticed that nobody else had their shirts tucked in and I couldn't imagine why anyone would have cared. Later that same bouncer yanked me by the arm and screamed profanities in my face. He slapped me on the back really hard and said "your shirt!" I didn't understand what I did to deserve that man's hatred and anger. Nobody cared what shirt I was wearing or how I was wearing it because I doubt anyone noticed my existence. I sat next to someone and just tried to make friendly conversation only to be told to go away. Having a positive attitude doesn't count for much when everyone around you has made the decision to be miserable. As depressed as I was feeling at that time I made the decision to go out and improve my situation. Other people in spite of every blessing they have still choose to be obnoxious pricks to everyone else and that is what it is to choose misery over happiness. I wasn't happy either but damn it at least I was trying.

In fact, when I went to California I went out to gay bars and found some pretty cool down-to-earth people who were happy with themselves. It wasn't anything so narrow-minded as being gay or straight, it was about who was friendly and who was a jerk to me. It really is not that complicated but if I told people that I went to gay bars, they look at me strange because it doesn't occur to them how nasty people are in mainstream places. I just made friends more naturally at gay bars because I never looked at them with any preconceived judgments. I accept that there are people in this world that are different than me and I hope they will accept me. Ultimately I went to Costa Rica for volunteer work because I could not tolerate being depressed all the time and it was all such a breath of fresh air. I didn't have to work to meet people anymore. I didn't have to search for sub-cultures of outcasts because people were naturally friendly and at peace. There was no more bullshit.

When I came back it was the same bullshit all over again. Nobody understood how I felt; they just assumed that I was happy to be back in the US and I damn sure wasn't. I found a salsa restaurant called Gloria's to indulge my love of salsa dancing and to a degree that was better because I was in a Latino culture of passion and love of life. I didn't have friends to go out with but I still went out to talk to women myself. The band was made up of Puerto Ricans that took a shine to me because I was different than most white people they knew. Since I was alone, I wrote what I thought in a journal because that is how I keep myself sane. One night I was writing about how I think Newt Gingrich is an idiot and the manager was on my case about people complaining that they thought I was writing about them. Are people really so petty and insecure? Why can I not mind my damn business without people turning it into something about them? This is ultimately what I hate about America for all its perks - people don't understand how I feel; they just assume how I feel and who I am. People are incapable of understanding my perspective.

I have found the clubs in the US to be really shitty places full of asshole bouncers, asshole people goers, and shitty prices for drinks. I have made the commitment to not go to nightclubs so as long I am in the US.

They're not so bad. They just take some getting used to.

The bouncers can be pretty cool if you get to know them (of course, depending on the bouncer).

Yes definitely. The vibe in nightclubs is very negative, weird, and unfriendly. The vibe and atmosphere is NOT cheerful, relaxed or inclusive at all. I've never understood why nightclubs are supposed to be a way to meet people if it's not even a friendly or relaxed atmosphere. Again, things are usually the opposite of what we're told. We live in an inverted upside down world, especially in America.

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Nightclubs in the U.S. are a see or be seen type atmosphere and with the one night stand culture and pickup meat market it caters towards women letting their hair down and "partying" in an acceptable environment. With the relative scarcity of half-way decent women this means men are trying hard to front and get with the few women. These women are probably very frequent club-goers too so they are used to turning men down left and right.

The competitive atmosphere creates tension and bad attitudes everywhere. This is especially true when people have had a few drinks in them so that the frustration and general stress starts to get to people.

The funny thing about nightclubs is that most guys i've talked with actually hate them but women love them. I know a wide range of guys from extroverts to introverts from handsome to mediocre looking guys and everyone says they dislike nightclubs. There's only one guy I know of who likes nightclubs and that's only because he worked as a DJ/promoter and knows a lot of people in the business and has a significant social edge in the scene.

I think if you're one of those celebrities then maybe nightclubs make more sense too. In that case you just walk in and girls walk up to you to party. But for your average dude who is not model like handsome or crazy rich you have to run around gaming girls for fairly low % chance of sex for a lot of work involved.

I thought drinking alcohol was supposed to relax people. Why does it cause people to be uptight and mean?

These are the type of guys you will find at bars and nightclubs in America!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_7Zx2uP ... QQ&index=8[/youtube]

I absolutely hate nightclub culture in the United States, for all the reasons mentioned so far in the thread. I can do a chill bar or lounge, but the club thing is is the worst.

@Temprano26,

I couldn't go to gay clubs (even though they are more-accepting because they are too ostracized from the mainstream sheeplefest)
because gays would relentlessly adamantly hit on me and that was too much for me.

It's better to be "temprano" as opposed to being "demasiado tarde" from unplugging yourself from the Matrix(tm).

[quote="jamesbond"]These are the type of guys you will find at bars and nightclubs in America!

And these type too:



..actually "hit up da club".

Believe it or not clubs are not much better in Brazil..at least i can speak for Salvador...since a lot of these places are only full of western women any way.. But they are not good places to meet women either..the women are only a little less bitchy and less rude in Brazil but nothing more than being separated from you money is going happen here in a club, unless you go for P4P.A dance club in Brazil is a place you bring a women you already met to..not to go meet people.

(snip)

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Winston wrote:Yes definitely. The vibe in nightclubs is very negative, weird, and unfriendly. The vibe and atmosphere is NOT cheerful, relaxed or inclusive at all. I've never understood why nightclubs are supposed to be a way to meet people if it's not even a friendly or relaxed atmosphere. Again, things are usually the opposite of what we're told. We live in an inverted upside down world, especially in America.

I can back Winston up on this one. Besides the 15 years I've done dating, I also went to quite a few of these places. Guys, I'm telling you right now! You're not missing out on anything. Save your money and wait for those kind of venues when you travel. Don't waste your money here. I noticed most AW's are very clicky. Especially in my state. If a girl even comes up and talks to you, you're lucky because it rarely, in most cases never happens.

This also goes back to Winston's testimony explaining the cold shield/social bubble American women have. If you go alone, you're not going to get anywhere approaching. I also don't recommend using PUA game. My point is if you approach, you're going to get shot down. If you dance alone, the only reason a woman will come up and dance with you (unless you look like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt) is because she feels bad for you.

I've had girls come up and dance with me when I danced alone at these venues, yet I didn't take a single one home. Guys, save your money and don't bother with these dance clubs in the West. Use that money to travel to better places to meet much better women instead. Don't waste your time here with these hussies who think they're better than everyone.