My first month back from China.

[magnum]

Where to start....the second I landed in LAX the 3erd person I'd had contact was a rude prick, everyone that worked at the airport was a rude prick.


My emotional scars healed in china, I think I said that in my field report post, but I've become a better calmer less enraged person, I'm more driven than ever before, and with a chinese girl waiting for me, I've got my eye on the prize, but complications and america stand in my way.


So my buddy from Connecticut said I could come live with him and his wife, he lives in a 2 bedroom house and after growing up a little, I made the choice I didn't want to leech off of my poor father anymore, even though my grown up sister and her husband live in his house...and my mother is addicted to the internet and simply grows larger while contriburting nothing to my fathers marriage or quality of her own life.

Now I find my self in my buddys home, he's letting me live here free of rent, he lived with me for 2 years when he was younger, he's younger than I am, he's 21 I'm 27, we don't have the same mother but we're brothers in every way.


he told me he would have a job waiting for me, that living here would be no problem, everything sounded great, I figured, I'll put in my time...work for 2 to 3 months and return to my loving girl friends arms.


Well, nothing in life is simple, A job wasn't waiting for me....my friends wife was going to hire me but someone was "desperate for work" so they got someone before I showed up.

My friend had owed me 200$ that I lent him while I was unemployed from my lifes savings before I went to china....well he has spent maybe 50$ on me if that while complaining about how much food costs, so I told him alright...I'll just pay for it, that's fair after all...


that's all fine, life happens.

His wife one day flat out told me "you're donig chores" and that's when I started getting pissed off, I sucked it up and helped her out...but you don't tell a grown man who isn't your husband he's going to do chores maybe that flys with your husband, but you don't tell another man a guest "your doing chores" without even saying it as a question.


His wife has constantly been rude, insulted my girl friends accent "she has a french Chinese accent" when i skype with her, and just all around is racist, and she her self is mexican...


I love my brother, but I'm mad he thought it would be good to "help me out" by inviting me to a situation where his wife would hate me, he didn't have the money to actually help me out and knew I wouldn't have employment.

And my friend and his wife keep going on about this other woman I should date because she's so perfect for me while jokingly preaching it will fail with my girl friend and that she' is untrustworthy.....yet the friend they want me to date works at a sex shop and is 20 years old yet...my girl friend is a full time dedicated student who's 19 years old immature and not trustworthy apparently....go figure.

it pains me to see people so close to me think so little of someone I care about.

They're till going to introduce me to this girl, hell she's even spending the night at the house, I think they actually believe I'll fall for this girl and dump my Chinese girl friend, they've gotta be insane...


Had I known the pain in the ass of a world I'd be invited in to, I would have attempted to stay in china, but I didn't have the capital to last or the work visa, and I wasn't about to buy a fake diploma "i don't know how to make one my self" or sign a 1 year contract, as I don't know if I want to teach English that long.


A lot of these problems I know spawn from lack of knowledge on my part, but I'm sure learning fast.

Now I've dipped below 1k$ and I'm still not landing any jobs...It's sad, I was excited it land a interview at pizza hut making pizzas....but that fell through it seems...even though they said I would get a call Monday or Tuesday to start working.


I'm vary worried I might not make it back to china for my girl friends holiday, I will make it back one way or another, but I hate to disappointing her.

She even said she had this other guy hitting on her online, she told him she was taken.

I know this is on the level because...well to my shame I let my buddy talk me in to making a fake profile on the dating site I met her on and see if she'd take the bait, she didn't, and then told me about it.



Last night my buddys wife screamed "i've been doing dishes all day, someone better do the dishes cause it isn't going to be me" then she said "you want to do them"


As I'm the only one unemployed...I did them, but I'll tell you what, I'm getting sick of it, I don't mind carrying my own weight or even others, but I better at least have respect.

I'll be getting a 550$ return soon....It will sustain me for a little while... My food costs should be around 40$ for 2 weeks if I play my cards right, I'm good at budgeting, I'll make it last, once I use up the tax return though... I'm not sure, I can't return to my fathers house, I just morally wont allow my self to, even of he welcomes it, it's a toxic house and situation and everyone under that roof is ripe with negativity.

Next stop might just be the military, what do I have left, begging...I could hold up a sign that says "trying to escape to china and return to my true love" but the sad part is, I probably would get less money than the hobo with a "need weed" sign.



End of my rant for now.

[Cornfed]

Isn't there some form of welfare you would qualify for?

[Ghost]

...

[xiongmao]

Hmm, there's lots of talk of other people. Never rely on anyone, especially where money's concerned - you've got to be your own man.

My new friend here asked me for money - well that's the end of that friendship. Thankfully there's no shortage of people here.

Maybe you need to put your China plan on hold while you build some sort of career. And keep studying Mandarin and building up contacts over here.

It's not exactly cheap here. I mean stuff like household bleach is actually cheaper in the UK, as are red onions, most nuts, clothes etc. etc.

Fish is about the same price as the UK. It's only cheaper here if you eat horrible carp or the bits we Brits usually throw away.

And a lot of stuff here is crap, like my shoes that cost 140RMB and lasted 6 days!

Some stuff is much cheaper here, e.g. plants, goldfish and Coca Cola.

Last month I spent $1300 here (including my course fees and rent). Ouch.

Anyway, keep us posted on any developments! If she's worth it, you'll find a way to return.

[magnum]

The irony is, I don't believe in credit...I've never had a credit card.


But Yes, things are desperate right now.....

Hell, I don't even care if i do have to join the military at this point, I've got nothing in my life here worth missing, but I need to know what my future is with this girl first and that requires me to to find 2000$ one way or another.

I could sell my car for 500$ it's in California so why not, and I have a few collectors items wroth 200$ each...it would be a shame though if things fall through with this girl after all that trouble, we'll see...

My future isn't that of a English teacher, but a short run or part time job while I figure things out with the girl might be in order.

[Cornfed]

Hmm, there's lots of talk of other people. Never rely on anyone, especially where money's concerned - you've got to be your own man.

Such a thing is not possible. Everyone except those at the top of the system are dependants when it comes to money. For example, if you work for some whorporation you are dependant on the charity of that whorporation, and ultimately the Jews/banksters, for all your income.

My new friend here asked me for money - well that's the end of that friendship. Thankfully there's no shortage of people here.

This is one of the reasons the Anglosphere is so f***ed - because most Anglo men would not piss on another Anglo man if he were on fire. Therefore they are completely at the mercy of the corporate system and get picked off one by one, as they lack any kind of support network. Unless there is some kind of attitude adjustment the Anglo race will go extinct and be replaced by races who retain some community spirit. The individual is not a survivable social unit in the medium to long term.

[Dark_Sol]

I feel you, I've been back for a month and hate it. One guy said I have the look of a man who hates the world.

[aozora13]

Dark_Sol,

I agree with what you mean. I have been back in the US from my short vacation in Mexico and I have the same disgusted look on my face. Also, the fact that everything seems really negative now at home. I am thinking of a way to ultimately leave but for right now, I am stuck in my job.

[skateboardstephen]

I said i was not going to Post anymore but i could not help myself on this one.I relate to this guy alot and feel for him,that is why when i decided to leave the states i left prepared to not come back now i have residency and a permanent work visa.I don't even know what i would do if for some reason me and my wife had to go to the U.S. to live.My family isn't worth two cents for the most part and they barely even write me on Facebook it is every man for himself in the U.S. but in Brazil people who don't even know me have done nothing but help me.

In the U.S. you need so much money just to live a simple life and that causes so much stress,it is less stressful living in a Brazilian favela than it is to try to live middle class in the U.S. Then Brazilians here complain of stress and i tell them to go to the U.S. to the whole rat race then they will really know what stress is.

Mabey Magnum should try work agencies that have temp work that is how i got money up to leave.It may be worth it to go back to dads house if he will allow you to stay rent free while you save money.I don't know how China works but try to get residency there and a work permit.Can your girl hold you down for awhile while you get on your feet and find work?Could you marry her for residency?

[zboy1]

I said i was not going to Post anymore but i could not help myself on this one.I relate to this guy alot and feel for him,that is why when i decided to leave the states i left prepared to not come back now i have residency and a permanent work visa.I don't even know what i would do if for some reason me and my wife had to go to the U.S. to live.My family isn't worth two cents for the most part and they barely even write me on Facebook it is every man for himself in the U.S. but in Brazil people who don't even know me have done nothing but help me.

In the U.S. you need so much money just to live a simple life and that causes so much stress,it is less stressful living in a Brazilian favela than it is to try to live middle class in the U.S. Then Brazilians here complain of stress and i tell them to go to the U.S. to the whole rat race then they will really know what stress is.

Mabey Magnum should try work agencies that have temp work that is how i got money up to leave.It may be worth it to go back to dads house if he will allow you to stay rent free while you save money.I don't know how China works but try to get residency there and a work permit.Can your girl hold you down for awhile while you get on your feet and find work?Could you marry her for residency?

Great post skate. Please keep posting on this forum because you're one of my favorites on HA!

[aozora13]

Skateboardstephen,

You have been helpful to guys on this forum. I am thinking of possibly looking to start a small business in Mexico and seeing that the costs are low (a lot compared to small business cost in the US). It seems that salaries are really low and I feel I can make more as a business although I will not be rich, I know I will hopefully have enough to eat, travel and enjoy life.

Zboy1 is right that it is good to hear from men that actually were able to stay abraod long term instead of tourist adventures. I want to try next year as a goal to start a business as that is the only way I can work in the country without working for a small salary and it is something I would like to do that is not teaching.

[xiongmao]

Skate - you can generally only get residency here in China if you work or study. I chose the study route. If you work then you can generally only teach English. God knows there are enough people here already, so the Chinese government likes to ensure that jobs go to Chinese people. Hence there are very few Filipinos here.

The marriage route is another way of getting a residency permit but that's a heck of a decision. I nearly did marry my first Chinese gf. She was awesome, although on the other hand I went on to date even more awesome women.

Good tip about the work agencies though. In the UK we have loads of them, you can end up working in a factory but at least it's a job.

Given how hard it is to get a foreign bridge back to the UK I guess I'm gonna have to stay here in China for a while. I'm able to do so because I kept my head down at work and saved up a warchest of cash. I basically spent 3 years not buying anything except for food. I also have some online income. This is nice to have but it's dangerous to rely on it as it fluctuates so much. If I need extra cash I'll do a bit of English teaching and freelance programming.

As my Mandarin improves and I build my network of contacts, I'll have a go at exporting some stuff. In theory you can come here on a business visa and do this kind of stuff, but hell, my Chinese made shoes lasted me 6 days. So as you can see, buying stuff here to sell in the USA and elsewhere is going to be more trouble than a barrel load of monkeys!!!

I must admit I'm alarmed at how much I've spent here lately, it's not so cheap here really. I can give you a very long list of stuff that's more expensive in China than in the UK. Like household bleach for example. And there are loads of ways to spend your money here, especially if you want to hang out in the expats bars and restaurants. Sometimes I'm thankful that I live in the poor part of town.

As to my own plans, I could be here 5 years, maybe more. So I've got a long term game plan.

Don't dismiss English teaching as a job though. I've found it to be a lot of fun. Especially in Asia where the students are so attentive and eager to learn. Since the students here in China have Chinese teachers for grammar, we foreigners are just needed for our voices. So really all you need to do is to be able to talk about all kinds of stuff. Older guys are usually great at this.

[magnum]

Well the update is, I've landed one job, maybe two.


Now it's time to lock my self in my room for 2 to 3 months and return to my woman

[skateboardstephen]

Skate - you can generally only get residency here in China if you work or study. I chose the study route. If you work then you can generally only teach English. God knows there are enough people here already, so the Chinese government likes to ensure that jobs go to Chinese people. Hence there are very few Filipinos here.

The marriage route is another way of getting a residency permit but that's a heck of a decision. I nearly did marry my first Chinese gf. She was awesome, although on the other hand I went on to date even more awesome women.

Good tip about the work agencies though. In the UK we have loads of them, you can end up working in a factory but at least it's a job.

Given how hard it is to get a foreign bridge back to the UK I guess I'm gonna have to stay here in China for a while. I'm able to do so because I kept my head down at work and saved up a warchest of cash. I basically spent 3 years not buying anything except for food. I also have some online income. This is nice to have but it's dangerous to rely on it as it fluctuates so much. If I need extra cash I'll do a bit of English teaching and freelance programming.

As my Mandarin improves and I build my network of contacts, I'll have a go at exporting some stuff. In theory you can come here on a business visa and do this kind of stuff, but hell, my Chinese made shoes lasted me 6 days. So as you can see, buying stuff here to sell in the USA and elsewhere is going to be more trouble than a barrel load of monkeys!!!

I must admit I'm alarmed at how much I've spent here lately, it's not so cheap here really. I can give you a very long list of stuff that's more expensive in China than in the UK. Like household bleach for example. And there are loads of ways to spend your money here, especially if you want to hang out in the expats bars and restaurants. Sometimes I'm thankful that I live in the poor part of town.

As to my own plans, I could be here 5 years, maybe more. So I've got a long term game plan.

Don't dismiss English teaching as a job though. I've found it to be a lot of fun. Especially in Asia where the students are so attentive and eager to learn. Since the students here in China have Chinese teachers for grammar, we foreigners are just needed for our voices. So really all you need to do is to be able to talk about all kinds of stuff. Older guys are usually great at this.

Oh yeah i see the crappy imported electronics from China on E-bay all the time and you can just tell they are peaces of shit,so i wouldn't want to mess with that either.You will have some angry e-mails in your inbox LOL.Yeah the marriage thing is a big step and can be pretty scary.

[magnum]

for the 2 months I'm with my girl friend we're going to teach English in her home town, she has family in goverment and assures me I can get away without having a work visa due to her relatives.


She wants to save up enough for the first month we're together to travel around some of the cites in china, In that time I hope to learn enough about her to make my my final choice on carrying forward as though this girl is a permanent part of my future or not.


If she is, I have to make the choice, try to get her to marry me before she's done with school and earn money as she farther hers education.


Life has torn me...I don't want to teach English the rest of my life, nor do I think the practice is healthy as it lures people to come to the usa and I would save that fate for the poor kids that grow up thinking the usa has anything to offer them.

I've always had a warrior in my heart, it's in my blood all grandfathers on all sides have served in the military or been law enforcement, I have avoided the nature of my heart due to the military forcing you to sell your soul to them.


So, I have two choices, become a life long English teacher, betray what I really am inside but hold on to the happiness with this girl who thus far I'm in love with or attempt to walk both paths, become military, server for 3 to 6 years, take the skills I've learned and my weapon to Africa and help the lives of people with my new found ability and skill.

My girlfriend has voiced that she'll be willing to support me in this, though she admits she's slightly selfish and would be scared to go, but understands that I want to help people, and that she would translate for me as her major is going to be french.


The more I accomplish in life, the more confused I seem to get, i think life is just a juggle of best options and forcing your self to refine the options at hand, even when you plan.


If things don't work out with this girl, I don't see another chance at a girl happening ever unless I have a big bank roll....it's a blessing this girl isn't rejecting me for not having any financial backing.


oh well, choices can't be made until after I get back from china, I'm just so angry and frustrated, but at least it's for the right reasons.....It used to be out of bitterness and desperation being stuck in a social hell whole with no options, now it's because I have some many options... life is so much better even if it's slightly more confusing