Dave Fuller, Winston's arch nemesis, is in a divorce!

[Winston]

Check this out.

Inside sources tell me that my arch enemy and nemesis Dave Fuller, who used to heckle me on this forum years ago, just went through a nasty divorce with his Russian wife whom he touted as his success trophy.

He posted his long story about it anonymously in another forum here:

http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php?topic=7344.0

Check out what he wrote to his Russian wife to try to save their marriage. It's pretty sad because you can tell that their marriage was drifting apart irrevocably. Using typical male logic, he thinks that "fixing things" in their marriage can salvage it, as if it were a computer program that can be corrected, when the truth is, once the connection/chemistry is gone, there's really nothing you can do. Russian women are very changeable, cold and sociopathic inside. Perhaps he should try Asian women.


"Privet Dorogaya,

I am writing this letter to you to discuss our marriage and its future. Rather than confront you face to face with this I have written everything down here I wish to speak to you about. I have done this for a number of reasons. The first being I do not want this to turn into a yelling match. If I bought this up with you all we would do is end up screaming and yelling at each other and nothing would get resolved. The second is because it is written you can reflect upon what is written and things are not lost in translation. This will give you time to form a rational response instead of some quick nasty reply.

Darling, first off I want to say I love you and this is not supposed to be an attack on you. It is an attempt to save our marriage. We both know things have not been good between us lately. It has gotten so bad that if it continues like it has been then I cannot see a future together.

Things need to change in our marriage and there needs to be some major changes. When we spoke recently you pointed out how you had changed me in many ways for the better. When I mentioned I had changed you what you said is you have not changed at all. This is the problem. You need to make changes as well. It is hard to progress without change.

I have identified a number of areas I feel that need to change if we are to move forward in our marriage. I have listed them below.


Respect

I asked you around a month ago when we were arguing if you respected me and you went silent. I have suspected for a long time you have little respect for me and you proved that to me on this day. I am your husband and I expect your respect. I house, clothe and feed you and provide support for your mother. I show you respect and treat you with respect in the things you do. I expect the same in return.

If I say something I expect you to respect my decision. Not disregard it like you do now. I am a grown man and I can make decisions on my own. Decisions like choosing what I want to wear to the gym. You might have noticed I never go to the gym any more. It is because I do not like being told what to wear and being told I have to dress up in a jacket and long pants to walk for 15 seconds outside to the gym. This is one example of many. I know you think what you are doing is caring for me but some things you do are excessive and when I say I want to do something a different way I expect that decision to be respected. You may not agree with me in some decisions but you need to learn to live with this. I don’t agree with some things you do but I live with it because I respect your right to make your own decisions. I want you to respect my right to make my decisions going forward because I am sick of being dictated to. I managed to survive perfectly ok before I met you so I am capable of make my own decisions.


Household Chores

You have been gradually doing less and less and getting me to do more and more in this area. Despite this you still constantly complain I do not do enough. I would just like to clarify one point for you here. We are a single income family. A single income family consists of one person who earns all the money and pays all the bills and the other who looks after the house. My role is that of the breadwinner. Your role is that of the housewife. Like it or not this is your role.

Now I have sat back and copped a lot from you in this area. It seems a source of constant fighting between us and it needs to be resolved. Just because you may be busy it does not mean I am not. I spend 50 hours per week working to provide all of our finances. To expect me to come home from work and then have to wash, dry and iron all of my clothes is unreasonable and completely disrespectful to me. Should I demand you go out and work for 4 hours to contribute to our finances? I will help out from time to time with this but don’t expect it of me like a chore.

When it comes to cooking and the dishes, the fact you fail to acknowledge I contribute in this area at all is disgraceful. I do my fair share here and when you are busy getting ready for an exam or something I offer to cook and clean for you.

Going forward I will contribute to the cooking and cleaning in the same capacity I do now. I do a lot in this area despite you giving me no credit for what I do. I will not be doing my own laundry. It is disrespectful expecting me to do this. If you think this is unfair then find somebody who will house, clothe and feed you and do his own laundry. No Russian man would and you know this.


Egoism

I have sat back and copped a lot from you in this area. I am sick of you calling me an egoist. I am anything but. Would an egoist send your mum more than $10,000 over the last three and a half years? Would an egoist pay for 3 trips to Russia for you?

Every time our savings reach enough to buy a ticket to Russia, you insist on spending all that money for you and only you for a trip to Russia. That is being an egoist and thinking only of you. You complain we never go on holiday. Its not we, it is I. It is I who never goes on holiday. I have not had a decent holiday in the entire time we have been married. You have had four decent holidays of a month or more though. When I wanted to book a trip to see my Dad for four days your response to me was nothing short of disgusting. We had a big argument before you finally agreed to let me spend some of my tax bonus on my first overseas trip in 4 years. I found that extremely rude from someone who I just spent 5 times that amount for a trip to Russia a week earlier without any protest whatsoever.

After that display I have made a decision that our savings will be spent on something for the both of us in future. There will be no more egoism in the way we spend our savings. The money I put into savings is for us, not you. It will be used for something for us, not you. If you wish to take trips to Russia for yourself then you can go out and find a part time job to pay for your trip.

Intimacy

We seem to be getting less and less intimate. I always seem to be the initiator as well. I am the one kissing you, not vice versa. Basically I am losing interest in intimacy because not much interest is being shown from your end. You might have noticed that I am going to bed later and we go to bed at different times as well. Basically I can’t be bothered trying to be intimate with you. It is because after constantly trying and having excuses thrown at me constantly eventually I just cant be bothered as I know I will most likely be ignored in my requests.

There is a saying, you can go to a well but if it is always dry, eventually you will stop going to it. You are the well and you have been dry for a long time. If you want a sex life in our marriage then I suggest you start showing some interest in this area. I suggest you start showing the initiative a lot more..


Where we live

You live abroad. You need to learn to accept this. After three years together you still have not fully embraced the country we live in. You tell me the only reason you are here is because of me. This is not good enough. You need to be in this country because of me and because you would like to be here and make a life abroad.

Yes, you are Russian and will always be Russian but you have chosen to live abroad. If we have children they will grow up in this country. I don’t want them to have a mother who is complaining all the time about how awful living abroad is and who thinks she need to return home every 6 to 9 months. This is something that really annoys me.

I would like to see you try and adjust better. Find groups or activities where you might like to participate. Trust me, it is for your own good. When you stopped helping out in Church and participating in the group things, if affected you in more ways than you seem to realise.


Attitude

This is one of the main things that bugs me about you now. If you would have displayed the attitude you have in the last 6 months four years ago I would have dropped you like a hot potato. I would have never married you. Lately you are forever moody. You can go from warm and loving to complete bitch in a blink of an eye. The way you scream at me over trivial things pisses me off. The way you will not talk to me for days when I don’t respond the way you like pisses me off. You are sulky, moody and bitchy when you don’t get things your own way. Life isn’t about getting everything you want all the time but you seem to think it is. You need to think more about others rather than yourself.

Also you need to realise everyone is not out to get you. If someone praises someone else in your presence they are not saying you are bad. You try to read far too much into everything and are always looking at a negative angle. Try giving people the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming the worst and making baseless assumptions.


Summary

I want to start by saying that I love you. I have since we first met and still do to this day. If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t be making this attempt to save our marriage. I would just quit it. You have a lot of wonderful qualities and a number of aspects of my life have improved a lot from having you in it. However you have some qualities that are not so wonderful that seem to be getting worse with you.

You asked me why we don’t talk much any more. Well I have never been much of a talker and you know this. However what I have found is in the conversations we have in the last six months we usually end up having an argument. The less I talk the less the likelihood of an argument. You have been very volatile these last few months so I have avoided talking with you because of this.

Dorogaya, I have sat back and let you walk all over me in a number of aspects in our relationship so I am partly to blame because of this but now is the time where changes must be made by you if we are to survive as a couple. Is there a future in our relationship? If the person I married 3 years ago returns there is. If the person who I have lived with these last 6 months returns there is no future. The ball is in your court. I have done what I can and been as patient as I possibly can but you just seem to get worse and become more bossy and demanding. The time for patience is over and it is time you changed your outlook on things and the way you treat me.

I want you to spend the next month deciding what you really want in your life. Do you want to remain married to me and live abroad or do you want to remain in Russia? I know you love me but can you fully embrace life outside of Russia? Maybe you are someone who cannot live away from Russia and will always be conflicted living away from Russia. When we have children you will not be able to go running to Russia every 6-9 months. I hope you realise this. Sooner or later you are going to have to let go of Russia and embrace your new country.

I love you but things cannot continue to go on as they have been going on. Our marriage is self destructing and major changes need to be made to save it. They need to be made by you because whether you like it or not you are the main reason it is failing.

If you are willing to make these changes then I look forward to seeing you in July when you fly back home. If you decide your future is in Russia then I will understand. I will respect your decision whatever you choose.

I know this letter will upset you but the intention of it is not to upset you. It is an attempt to save a marriage which is failing. If things continue as they have in the last 6 months without change I see no future for us. I will speak to you regarding this after I get back from seeing Dad. Take that time to reflect on what I have written here."


Apparently, he later found out that she didn't want children too, which was a deal breaker for him because she had deceived him all along about wanting them.

[Repatriate]

It's never good to celebrate the misfortune of others even if they are your archenemies. It sounds like he fell into the same mistake a lot of western men tend to make. He married a woman brought her to the U.S. and expected for her to just fit in seamlessly without getting corrupted by the people or culture. Now he's going to pay the price in heart ache and break up.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

"I asked you around a month ago when we were arguing if you respected me and you went silent."

This is the fundamental issue with women. Women HATE betas. They have no respect for betas.

When I was getting divorced my wife told me that she had no respect for me. I asked her why and she had no idea why. She said "I just don't". She also did not trust me despite never knowing me to lie to anyone in 32 years while she had been lying her head off for 23 years to me. This is just how western woman are. It does not need to make sense.

The ONLY people women will have respect for are alphas or "bad boys" which they mistakenly think of as alphas.

My fav#5 asked me about this behaviour. She said "I have noticed among my girl friends that they will act like a little puppy when they have a "bad boy" boyfriend, but when the same woman has a really nice decent man as a boyfriend she will treat him like crap. What is that all about?"

So I explained it all to her...and she "got it" right away...she did not know how this worked but could see it as soon as it was explained to her.

This is why I have told my fav#1 I am not going to be "mr nice guy". I am not going to a beta. If she wants to be with me then I will be alpha and I will alpha her because that is what SHE NEEDS to retain respect for me. I have even told her that I do not particularly want to do that but that it is necessary for HER that I do it.

She agrees and knows full well what she is agreeing to IF she changes her mind.

I was telling her recently that she picked men she could dominate and control and in return she got men she HAD to dominate and control which does not work for a woman.

So yes...this Dave Fuller character is a beta smuck....just like I used to be.....it is easy to spot them since I was that way myself for so long......

And women HATE betas....they abuse them ruthlessly because they are not alphas and the woman is pissed off she did not get an alpha.......sad part is that is 90% of men.

The other sad part is that alphas tend to throw women away after they are bored with them because they can. Aphas have an endless supply of women throwing themselves at them. Even old over weight alphas like me can do well! LOL!! Imagine being a 25 year old alpha like the wealthy footballers. Must be good pickings if you do not want to marry.

Women want what they can not have. Alphas.....because by their very nature they are so few.

[ExpeditionSailor]

It's clear to me from reading the letter that his wife has zero love or respect for him. He gave her everything and what did she do? She shit all over him.

In one part of the letter, I see him admitting to being at fault for some things. He shouldn't be apologizing or making any such admission. I say that because, from my point of view, it's clear to me that she, not he, is at fault for the rapid disintegration of the marriage.

His soon-to-be ex-wife really, really needs to grow up. And soon.

If there was anything he was at fault for, was not recognizing the warning signs and negative trends early on and nipping them in the bud. In fairness, I realize he may not have been able to do much about those issues anyway, even if he had noticed their emergence.

I wouldn't be offering the bitch any concessions or ways to wriggle out. As painful as it is, his only choice now is to run, not walk, to a competent divorce lawyer and salvage what he can. By acting preemptively, he may be able to improve his position. Taking the initiative, or taking it away from the enemy usually wins battles.

Right now, she's causing him inordinate and needless pain. Considering how vindictively she is behaving, he should have no compunctions about returning the pain.

I once read a book called 'Street-Smart Survival', and the author had this to say about divorce: 'if your partner does something to force you to end a relationship, the relationship is beyond repair.'

I went through something similar with my own wife, although it wasn't nearly as extreme. In my case, wifey started sleeping on the couch downstairs claiming she was having trouble sleeping. Then she developed this mysterious facial ailment that left her unable to kiss me. I pushed her to go see a doctor about it and she dragged her feet.

Our sex life ended the minute she started sleeping on the couch, and no matter how I broached the subject, she consistently refused to talk about why she was behaving the way she was. Naturally, when this pattern of behaviour went on for a couple of weeks and didn't remit, the one thought that entered my mind was, 'this marriage isn't going to last much longer'. And sure enough, it didn't, because two months later we split up.

[MrPeabody]

I went to Ukraine 10 years ago and met Russian and Ukrainian women. They seemed to cold for me and I never went back.

[ExpeditionSailor]

I went to Ukraine 10 years ago and met Russian and Ukrainian women. They seemed to cold for me and I never went back.

Northern Europeans tend to be cold anyway. Cold climate, cold people. Canadians, who also live in a cold climate, can be friendly to a point, but they're not particularly warm people.

I had once considered looking for a Russian wife, but when I heard about how cold and manipulative a lot of Russian women are, I said, 'no thanks'. Lots of scammers in Russia and the Ukraine, too,
and it's probably near-impossible finding a Russian or Ukrainian girl on an online dating site who isn't.

[MrPeabody]

Also, writing a woman a letter with your complaints is a completely beta male thing to do. She will only respect you if you talk to her face to face. These women are use to dealing with Cossacks. A Muslim would bring his whip.

[Winston]

It's never good to celebrate the misfortune of others even if they are your archenemies. It sounds like he fell into the same mistake a lot of western men tend to make. He married a woman brought her to the U.S. and expected for her to just fit in seamlessly without getting corrupted by the people or culture. Now he's going to pay the price in heart ache and break up.

I'm not celebrating his misfortune. I'm not that mean spirited, like some people are. However, I ought to, because he would always celebrate my misfortunes and was entertained by them. But I'm not going to sink to his level. I have pride, compassion and conscience.

I wrote Dave Fuller and told him that RW are cold and sociopathic and that maybe he ought to try Asian women from now on.

He brought her to Australia, by the way, not the US. He is Australian.

Btw, he tried to add me as a friend on Facebook. I guess that Aussie guy in Lithuania was right when he told me, "I think Dave Fuller actually likes you, which is why he gives you so much attention. Otherwise, he would have ignored you long ago."

[davewe]

I don't think I've heard the term "arch enemy" used since I watched Rocky and Bullwinkle as a kid. So Winston, whether or not it was your intention, you did come across as celebrating his misfortune.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

He brought her to Australia, by the way, not the US. He is Australian.

Sorry...my mistake.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

Also, writing a woman a letter with your complaints is a completely beta male thing to do. She will only respect you if you talk to her face to face. These women are use to dealing with Cossacks. A Muslim would bring his whip.

I can confirm that....in my divorce I did this very beta thing too....because I was a beta.

[Winston]

I don't think I've heard the term "arch enemy" used since I watched Rocky and Bullwinkle as a kid. So Winston, whether or not it was your intention, you did come across as celebrating his misfortune.

Rocky and Bullwinkle had arch enemies? I don't remember that. That term is used in super hero films and comics all the time. It's also used in my favorite TV show Doctor Who. The Doctor had an arch enemy and nemesis called The Master, who appeared throughout the series, though infrequently. lol

Fuller's personality is in fact a lot like The Joker and The Riddler's. His berating heckling tone and style is very similar to theirs. lol The way the Joker laughs when Batman is in trouble is the exact way that he used to laugh whenever something bad happened to me in Russia.

In fact, he and his wooweasel gang of hecklers/villains sound a lot like Toy Man's voice in SuperFriends. It's a very mischievous voice, perfect for villains. Every time I saw him and Shane Neff's posts, I imagined Toy Man's voice. lol

Here let me find it for you on YouTube so you can hear what I mean. lol Oh here is a clip from a SuperFriends episode. Notice Toy Man's wicked sinister laugh as he talks about trapping the SuperFriends inside a book. lol That's how I imagined the WooWeasel members laughing at me before. lol These hecklers and bashers are like "The Legion of Doom". lol

[davewe]

I don't think I've heard the term "arch enemy" used since I watched Rocky and Bullwinkle as a kid. So Winston, whether or not it was your intention, you did come across as celebrating his misfortune.

Rocky and Bullwinkle had arch enemies? I don't remember that. That term is used in super hero films and comics all the time. It's also used in my favorite TV show Doctor Who. The Doctor had an arch enemy and nemesis called The Master, who appeared throughout the series, though infrequently. lol

Fuller's personality is in fact a lot like The Joker and The Riddler's. His berating heckling tone and style is very similar to theirs. lol The way the Joker laughs when Batman is in trouble is the exact way that he used to laugh whenever something bad happened to me in Russia.

In fact, he and his wooweasel gang of hecklers/villains sound a lot like Toy Man's voice in SuperFriends. It's a very mischievous voice, perfect for villains. Every time I saw him and Shane Neff's posts, I imagined Toy Man's voice. lol

Here let me find it for you on YouTube so you can hear what I mean. lol Oh here is a clip from a SuperFriends episode. Notice Toy Man's wicked sinister laugh as he talks about trapping the SuperFriends inside a book. lol That's how I imagined the WooWeasel members laughing at me before. lol These hecklers and bashers are like "The Legion of Doom". lol

I guess this was my point. Your role models are comics and cartoons? This presumes you must consider yourself the super hero and this other guy your arch enemy. Hmmm...

If you are truly the super hero of HA, I wish you would clean the place up a bit and kick some butt. Lots of us have been asking you but apparently Superman has left Metropolis and Batman's still hiding in Gotham.

[momopi]

I've said this several times before. Don't be "too nice" to people. If you assumed the "bent over" position yourself, don't act shcoked when you get screwed from behind.

Whenever I'm in a relationship, I make my positions clear on specific things like, as adults, I don't hit you, and you don't hit me. If you cannot abide by this, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

One of my friends hooked up with a Mainland Chinese girl who gradually increased her financial demands. Money for her shopping trips, money for her mother, money to pay off her mother's home in China, etc. etc. He asked me what he should do, and I told him to put her on a generous but firm allowance, if she cannot accept it, show her to the door.

3 years later, she is out the door and wants to come back. He asked his mother what he should do, and his mother told him to "go ask your friend".

I told him "you can do better".

[Winston]

I guess this was my point. Your role models are comics and cartoons? This presumes you must consider yourself the super hero and this other guy your arch enemy. Hmmm...

If you are truly the super hero of HA, I wish you would clean the place up a bit and kick some butt. Lots of us have been asking you but apparently Superman has left Metropolis and Batman's still hiding in Gotham.

Sure why not? lol That's what I grew up on. lol I'm not the only one either...

http://www.happierabroad.com/Hero.htm

Well who do you want me to clean out? Cleaning up the place is not an objective science. I've gotten rid of the spammers. As to trolls and detractors, what do you suggest? The hecklers here keep coming back and changing their IP's.

I've said this several times before. Don't be "too nice" to people. If you assumed the "bent over" position yourself, don't act shcoked when you get screwed from behind.

Whenever I'm in a relationship, I make my positions clear on specific things like, as adults, I don't hit you, and you don't hit me. If you cannot abide by this, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

One of my friends hooked up with a Mainland Chinese girl who gradually increased her financial demands. Money for her shopping trips, money for her mother, money to pay off her mother's home in China, etc. etc. He asked me what he should do, and I told him to put her on a generous but firm allowance, if she cannot accept it, show her to the door.

3 years later, she is out the door and wants to come back. He asked his mother what he should do, and his mother told him to "go ask your friend".

I told him "you can do better".

Why did you suggest he give her a generous allowance? A woman has no right to demand that a man buy her anything she wants or send money to her parents.