After 8 years of plutonic dating a FW, I got friendzoned

[Citizen]

How was it put in the song that beggar entertainer Beyonce sang? "If you liked it you should have put a ring on it." I am taking a shot in the dark but from what I read we have a woman who wasted eight years waiting for a man to do something. He says he didn't even fck her. I could understand if he didn't want to fck her but if he wanted her then why didn't he? Way I see it is he didn't do anything so she gave up on him being a man in her culture, desiring her or ever moving forward. Aren't men in her Latin culture aggressive when it comes to seducing and possessing women? Like she said, too different. Learn her signals. Women are desperate to get out of the countries they are stuck in. Women want to have a life too.

[Hero]

What the Hell, dude. You put up with a girl who wouldn't even let you French-kiss her for EIGHT YEARS??? I dump a girl if I haven't done that by the third date!

[Falcon]

Hey Irizarry, sorry to hear that. But I thought you're el Rey de los Mujeriegos (top lady's man)? Almost thought this came from a forum newbie haha.

Not funny. I don't understand why my luck is so bad now. May there's something in the cards that this is supposed to happen and that I need to refocus on other things in life.
That's the only sense I can make out of this. You're one of the only people that can spell my name correctly; thanks.

Wow, sorry. Hope your cheer up. I don't mean to pick on you or make you feel bad in any way. Life gets tough sometimes, but keep in mind that it goes up and down. The up's will come soon if you stay strong and positive.

Think of it this way too: It's her loss. There are plenty more fish out in the sea. Hit the streets again and know more people. Suerte compa.

You're one of the only people that can spell my name correctly; thanks.

Español helps lol. Pretty used to all sorts of long non-gringo last names by now.

[Cornfed]

I don't get why you would care about such a relationship, especially while you were pumping and dumping various sluts in the meantime. I mean, after she was eight years older, wouldn't she be too old anyway?

[Kradmelder]

How was it put in the song that beggar entertainer Beyonce sang? "If you liked it you should have put a ring on it." I am taking a shot in the dark but from what I read we have a woman who wasted eight years waiting for a man to do something. He says he didn't even fck her. I could understand if he didn't want to fck her but if he wanted her then why didn't he? Way I see it is he didn't do anything so she gave up on him being a man in her culture, desiring her or ever moving forward. Aren't men in her Latin culture aggressive when it comes to seducing and possessing women? Like she said, too different. Learn her signals. Women are desperate to get out of the countries they are stuck in. Women want to have a life too.

what is platonic dating?

The purpose of dating for men is to get a heifer to stick your dick into long term, a companion, and a mother to your kids who will support you. For women it is to get a ring on the finger and some kind of financial commitment from a man that they can make a life with together, or the evaluation of such future things in young men. Dating you will know after chatting a week or 2 if there is potential to wait and carry on without sex, or move on. Then you can wait so she makes you realise she is not a slut, you can be sure she doesnt sleep around, that sex doesnt blind you to the person etc. Once these formalities are done, you meet the family and friends, start doing domestic stuff, and get physical (except for the no sex before marriage ones). Such women are worth the wait, although they are rare.

If you just want sex, you dont date or chat long. You bring the topic to sex quickly and if not coming, you move on after at most 3 meetings. In this case, neither got what they should get from dating. So it was futile and well past time to cut bait.

If you believe that she is a virgin, it would make sense that she wants dates and a ring on it. In that case the delay and no sex would be justifiable and 8 years very patient waiting for a proposal on her part. Hard to say not knowing the girl. Perhaps she was keeping him on a string until someone came along who would put a ring on it so she cut the strings. Even if that new one was of less worth, after 8 years she must settle. Maybe the comment we are different means she wants commitment and none was coming. Like who wants an 8 year long distance text relationship? Not me. Sooner or later you must shit or get off the pot.


Erizarry how do the know the weight issue and currency return issue were because you are american and not because you are black? Lots of people don't like your race. Granted, i wouldn't ever cheat them or swindle them, but I have no interest in making them feel welcome. If blacks in brazil are as criminalistic and obnoxious as they are everywhere else, officialdom there would have no reason to like them, and you were just guilty of walking while black in the wrong place.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

She was a Bogota Colombiana. We only went out twice in the last two weeks...
Before then we haven't seen each other since we met in person in 2009.

It doesn't take eight years but she and I didn't get serious until 2-3 years ago of me coming to Colombia to see her. I only come here to Colombia once every 1.5-2 years so that may have played a factor but I'm not blaming myself at all.

I'm confused.

Were you sending her any money at all during these eight years?

No way! I never send money abroad to a broad.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

Hey Irizarry, sorry to hear that. But I thought you're el Rey de los Mujeriegos (top lady's man)? Almost thought this came from a forum newbie haha.

Not funny. I don't understand why my luck is so bad now. May there's something in the cards that this is supposed to happen and that I need to refocus on other things in life.
That's the only sense I can make out of this. You're one of the only people that can spell my name correctly; thanks.

Maybe your life will change now that you have moved the shit out of your life. I been on just purely mistresses for over 5 years. No dates. Just sex and send them home. No emotions, no drama, no meet the kids. Just keep them if they are good in bed, if not or if the heifer starts tasking relationshit, dump them.

Dumped the last one November. A month later met a very decent very attractive successful professional lady. No way would she do the mistress thing. Did the dating, no sex, courting, holding hands old fashioned thing. Now I am no longer single. Good in bed, but bright, good conversation, highly educated, wealthy, great cook and packs me lunch. Owns her own house yet Cleans my pool Cleans the kitchen, all traditional stuff. Far cry from modern women. Moral blonde afrikaans girl attractive without a carousel background. Independent head strong woman that just needed to meet her match in terms of a man who can outdo her and stand up.

Maybe this is the one I will get involved with. Perhaps I already am. From both sides it is exclusive and not just pomp and go. Certainly no regrets. I just need to get her on a bike. So far has flat out refused and is terrified. Now I must do the meet the friends and mother thing. There has none of the kak, drama, games, stories that I am used to or your latrina has pulled.

That's all they seem to be good for. Do you know that no Brazilian nor Colombian women cooked for me unless my male friends asked their girlfriends to cook for me? Yeah, that's just bad. I never had a girl directly cook for me down here in South America.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

How was it put in the song that beggar entertainer Beyonce sang? "If you liked it you should have put a ring on it." I am taking a shot in the dark but from what I read we have a woman who wasted eight years waiting for a man to do something. He says he didn't even fck her. I could understand if he didn't want to fck her but if he wanted her then why didn't he? Way I see it is he didn't do anything so she gave up on him being a man in her culture, desiring her or ever moving forward. Aren't men in her Latin culture aggressive when it comes to seducing and possessing women? Like she said, too different. Learn her signals. Women are desperate to get out of the countries they are stuck in. Women want to have a life too.

I like your honesty and constructive criticism here. My plan was to NEVER bring her to America permanently. I think that is a contributing factor to why s.hit hit the fan. Thanks for your comment.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

What the Hell, dude. You put up with a girl who wouldn't even let you French-kiss her for EIGHT YEARS??? I dump a girl if I haven't done that by the third date!

Okay let me explain what probably hasn't been explained:
She and I only hung out in person only three times in eight years: once the first time we met in 2009, the second time was a week and half ago, the third and last time was 5 days ago. Yes, common sense would say by the third date (let's say within a month or so period), would be to dump her.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

I don't get why you would care about such a relationship, especially while you were pumping and dumping various sluts in the meantime. I mean, after she was eight years older, wouldn't she be too old anyway?

As much as I'm a w.horemonger, she seemed like the perfect girl to have as a woman at home while having safe sex discreetly with other women that I really don't love but only like to fvck. We're men; we need that. Besides it's ingrained in Latino culture that most of us men dip out on women, but as long as we dont' bring home a STD nor rub cheating in her face while still taking care of home (i.e. paying bills ontime, making great love to the GF/wife, et. al.), then that's how it should be IMHO. So that's why I really, really liked her.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

How was it put in the song that beggar entertainer Beyonce sang? "If you liked it you should have put a ring on it." I am taking a shot in the dark but from what I read we have a woman who wasted eight years waiting for a man to do something. He says he didn't even fck her. I could understand if he didn't want to fck her but if he wanted her then why didn't he? Way I see it is he didn't do anything so she gave up on him being a man in her culture, desiring her or ever moving forward. Aren't men in her Latin culture aggressive when it comes to seducing and possessing women? Like she said, too different. Learn her signals. Women are desperate to get out of the countries they are stuck in. Women want to have a life too.

what is platonic dating?

The purpose of dating for men is to get a heifer to stick your dick into long term, a companion, and a mother to your kids who will support you. For women it is to get a ring on the finger and some kind of financial commitment from a man that they can make a life with together, or the evaluation of such future things in young men. Dating you will know after chatting a week or 2 if there is potential to wait and carry on without sex, or move on. Then you can wait so she makes you realise she is not a slut, you can be sure she doesnt sleep around, that sex doesnt blind you to the person etc. Once these formalities are done, you meet the family and friends, start doing domestic stuff, and get physical (except for the no sex before marriage ones). Such women are worth the wait, although they are rare.

If you just want sex, you dont date or chat long. You bring the topic to sex quickly and if not coming, you move on after at most 3 meetings. In this case, neither got what they should get from dating. So it was futile and well past time to cut bait.

If you believe that she is a virgin, it would make sense that she wants dates and a ring on it. In that case the delay and no sex would be justifiable and 8 years very patient waiting for a proposal on her part. Hard to say not knowing the girl. Perhaps she was keeping him on a string until someone came along who would put a ring on it so she cut the strings. Even if that new one was of less worth, after 8 years she must settle. Maybe the comment we are different means she wants commitment and none was coming. Like who wants an 8 year long distance text relationship? Not me. Sooner or later you must shit or get off the pot.


Erizarry how do the know the weight issue and currency return issue were because you are american and not because you are black? Lots of people don't like your race. Granted, i wouldn't ever cheat them or swindle them, but I have no interest in making them feel welcome. If blacks in brazil are as criminalistic and obnoxious as they are everywhere else, officialdom there would have no reason to like them, and you were just guilty of walking while black in the wrong place.

I appreciate your comments. I know you are an Anglo nationalist, and I respect that. Just for correction's sake, I'm not a Black man even though you saw my pics and assume that I am. You should know I look like a Coloured from ZA, which better identifies me. Think of Trevor Noah with a little, less blunt Sub-Saharan African features; that's what I look like.
Yes, I thought it was an American vs a local Colombian man to keep her pride and sovereignty too that played a part. It's a lot more than on the surface so life goes on and I already cried it out and I'm going have better in my life. This is life.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Friendzoning has happened to most of us. They way I deal with it is to drop them if my romantic interest is rejected.

Women friendzone men to keep them as beta orbiters and to exploit them for favors and resources. The false hope of the men keeps them hovering around the female friend indefinitely.

Alan Roger Currie is the master of being upfront and straightforward with women EARLY. If they are friendzoning, drop them and just charge it to the game.

I recommend Currie's books which are groundbreaking on the subject.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

Hey Irizarry, sorry to hear that. But I thought you're el Rey de los Mujeriegos (top lady's man)? Almost thought this came from a forum newbie haha.

Not funny. I don't understand why my luck is so bad now. May there's something in the cards that this is supposed to happen and that I need to refocus on other things in life.
That's the only sense I can make out of this. You're one of the only people that can spell my name correctly; thanks.

Wow, sorry. Hope your cheer up. I don't mean to pick on you or make you feel bad in any way. Life gets tough sometimes, but keep in mind that it goes up and down. The up's will come soon if you stay strong and positive.

Think of it this way too: It's her loss. There are plenty more fish out in the sea. Hit the streets again and know more people. Suerte compa.

You're one of the only people that can spell my name correctly; thanks.

Español helps lol. Pretty used to all sorts of long non-gringo last names by now.

Ya tú sabe, pana. Me alegra me entiendes. No estabas metiendote conmigo. Solo me dijiste lo que te sentiste.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

I don't get why you would care about such a relationship, especially while you were pumping and dumping various sluts in the meantime. I mean, after she was eight years older, wouldn't she be too old anyway?

Well, I have a vasectomy but I never told her that although she claimed she doesn't want kids.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

I think the smart and less expensive thing would have been to keep the affair platonic forever. Give him (E Irizarry) something to fantasize about while regularly dumping his load in those American BBWs. True lesson learned is that reality often disappoints where women are concerned. Better to focus on the hunt and the fantasy as the real sources of pleasure.

I guess from what I read here that it make sense. Duly-noted.