Dianne is NOT a bar girl! Anyone who says that is BANNED!

[starchild5]

Terms like social skills, self improvement, game, self-confidence and other similar crap are american invention, im not even sure if these are even used in other languages, it would sound lame translating them.
Social skill, wtf, term absolutely stinks, implies we are born antisocial and thats something you need to learn, cavemen didnt have any social skills back in the day and it didnt stop them from socializing and getting laid. Its pathetic.

Can somebody tell us if these crap exists in other languages, russian,spanish,chinese etc.

I cant find any of these in my native language unless we got infected with self help virus in the past 10 years

It doesn't in Indian of over 100 languages

[Ghost]

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[Yohan]

Some of you guys have very weird deep-seated issues on avoiding "degeneracy" and doing things the "proper way" especially in terms of meeting women.
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And Cornfed why bother posting here? It seems like you have no interest in traveling.

I call it 'risk-averse' and 'mistrust'. - It is not about degeneracy etc. - but is it so difficult to understand that if women were hurting you over years that you are careful to choose a 'proper way' to avoid false allegations?

I could never even imagine to enjoy any private conversation - not to talk about a sexual relationship, that's totally out of question - with a Western female, as I mistrust them all - they make me worried, even afraid, that they could harm me - so I stay away from them, which is not so difficult in the country I am living now.

About Cornfed, I do not know anything about him, but he seems he was seriously hurt in his past by females - much more than me obviously, and this says a lot. It also seems he made particularly bad experiences with black people in general.

You cannot just expect that other men have the same good experiences as you had in your past with women. I surely had not.

As far as I know however, Cornfed was travelling around in China, Korea and some other Asian countries.

[Yohan]

Ohh com'on, it's obvious most of us are not going to Indonesia. Don't use that diversion.

@ yohan
If I can ask, how/where did you meet your wife?

I see no reason why to exclude Indonesia while looking for a foreign wife, Indonesia is not against foreign men looking for a wife, even if she is Muslim.

About myself, I was working in a travel agency in Europe and also part-time motorcycle instructor in a driving school. My Japanese wife at that time was working in Europe for a Japanese motorcycle part/accessory import company. I knew many Japanese at that time because of my work in the travel agency, and some of them introduced us to each other.

[Yohan]

What's with all the jadedness Yohan? you seem pretty traumatized still, i thought all the years in saner japan had a healing effect.
I'd say you and cornfed are a bit out to lunch.

I am really a happy man here in Japan, and especially the last 10 years or so in Japan were my best in my life - without any problems at all.
No family problems, no health problems, no financial problems, no problems with housing, free health care in Europe and Japan up to the end of my life, etc. - no problems at all.

The only problem I will face in near future is my age, but there is nothing what I can do about.

To answer to your comment, healing does not mean to forget and to forgive everything and I see no reason why I should be silent about my bad experiences in the past.

Out of many reasons I do not recommend any personal connection with a Western woman. Better stay alone and avoid any personal contact with them, or if you want to try, look around elsewhere, away from Western society.

To say that does not make me 'pretty traumatized'.

[MattHanson1990]

Dragon,
You are still on the social skills thing? I suspect that "social skills" is an American concept to blame people who don't fit in for being rejected by society. I stand behind the belief that very few people have legitimate problems with socializing. It all comes down to whether or not people want to know you. Just look at Winston... He said that he was treated like garbage here in America but he seemed to be getting along with the Russian women in his videos. He was flirting,joking, and breaking the touch barrier and they seemed receptive.
The problem with people like Cornfed and others is they are acting like people in other countries are just as messed up as people here in the U.S when they aren't. Its not the individuals lack of "social skills'. It's the culture.

If you look at historical documents, they NEVER mention social skills or self-confidence. Not even the bible mentions those things.

[Ghost]

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[RickyRetardo]

There's a reason why America is the country with the highest rate of mental illnesses in the entire world.

This culture will drive you crazy. I mean that literally. Why else are we the only country that has a mass shooting every few months? It's almost always the same story--someone was over-stressed, felt sad and angry, and eventually snapped.

There is something deeply and profoundly wrong here.

[GoingAwol]

Terms like social skills, self improvement, game, self-confidence and other similar crap are american invention

Actually, social skills are a very real thing. I've seen which foreigners living\traveling abroad tend to be the most well-liked and respected, and in my experience it's always the ones who are easiest to talk and get along with. Having a sense of humor really helps too. If you are in any way lacking in the social skills department, and you don't have the money & looks to make up for that, it is a serious handicap in the dating market.

I've seen two European guys and an American who married a girl from my wife's village. Two of them are not well-liked by the locals and not accepted by the community because they are painfully shy and rather awkward. One of them is integrating in society well and making friends, because he is a social person.

Social skills are not an "American invention", that's the biggest bullshit I ever heard.

Hahaha!
Nice try! Let me tell you a little story..... I am a very friendly and open person but I am no longer friendly and open with American women. Why? Because they always brush me off and reject me. This has caused me to feel shy and insecure around American women. If I'm at a party I tent to stay with my male friends and avoid approaching women. Why? Because every time I try to talk to American women I get rejected! This in turn hurts me and ruins my day! And when I'm at a social gathering I want to have fun and not have any negative experiences. Am I flawed for feeling that way? Well most people tell me I am! They say " GoingAwol, the reason you are single is because you are shy around women! Grow some balls and man up!" And I tell them "no! I am shy and insecure because women always reject me before I even open my mouth" but they won't even consider that I'm right about this. Guess what? I finally took the plunge and started corresponding with foreign women online and its the best thing I have ever done! I have started chatting with them on camera and the phone and I don't feel shy or awkward at all! I would even go so far as to say I feel confident! Why this change you ask? Because these women are sweet and friendly! And they show an interest in me! Furthermore they don't seem to be paranoid man haters like American bitches and are very relaxed with me. This in turn makes me feel relaxed! I have zero problems talking to these women. This proves that my social skills aren't the issue. If they were I wouldn't be able to get along with foreign women would I?

[Banano]

Constant rejections have potential to destroy persons confidence and self-esteem.
You go any western club and you will notice that majority of guys dont approach women at all and doubt its because guy lacks social skills. Put the same person in different enviroment where women hardly reject him and you will see his social skills, confidence and self esteem skyrocket.

How come western women never seem to lack so called social skills? constant validation?

[GoingAwol]

It's just male shaming, plain and simple. In case you haven't noticed the U.S is a misandrist society. So much so that people even blame men for shit we have no control over, one of those things being how women choose to respond to us. Whenever I try to reach out to American women they either outright ignore me or give me really short one word answers and its clear they want nothing to do with me. Is it my fault that women shut me out before I even get a chance to project my personality? No! Communication is a two way street. If I'm trying my damndest to communicate with someone and they aren't putting forth any effort its not my fault, nor is it my problem. It's their problem! Not mine.

[Falcon]

As I've said in,
viewtopic.php?t=20051

7. Dianne is quite different from the women working in the bars here, in that she's actually born and raised in Angeles City and speaks Kapampangan as her native language. Most of the bar ladies are not even from Luzon Island, but rather are Visayans from places like Samar, Leyte, Cebu, and Mindanao. Most locals don't work long-term in the bars, and are economically better off than the migrants from the south. She's now 24 years old, which means Winston would have picked her up while she was a virgin at 18 or 19. I'm slightly younger than Dianne.

Dianne is an intelligent, articulate, tall, and good-looking Luzon lady. Not the typical go-go bar type for sure.