Happier Abroad Forum Community

Hi all, it's the intermittent poster mattyman again.

I'm very well aware that a common complaint women have is that guys only want to approach/start conversations/message because of what they look like & that nobody wants to get to know beyond that.

The truth is there's plenty of guys who're willing to get to know a girl beyond what she looks like as a person. The reason she doesn't get to meet these guys is VERY SIMPLE!
-Many guys simply assume she's taken & don't bother (IRL)
-Many assume she's probably got tons of other guys interested and don't even bother (both IRL and online)
-Many assume she's stuck-up/snobby/shallow/judgemental (both IRL and online)*

The guys that maybe willing to get to know you beyond your looks might be pushed away if you come across as shallow, judgemental etc. and click 'next'. The only guys that do approach are mostly those that you don't want; the 'hiya babe' can't be bothered to read profile (tip; make sure you have stuff in the first place for potential matches to start a convo over) and people blatantly after you for sex.

Here's a link to a blog post; common assumptions guys have about pretty women;

https://neverinsilence.wordpress.com/20 ... pproached/

Also;

What makes me want to click 'next'/'pass' on dating websites and apps? Not having anything to start a conversation over is a big one. Coming across as 'I'm so awesome I've achieved so much I want something equally awesome' also makes me lick 'next'. Se the linked article for more detail.

https://neverinsilence.wordpress.com/20 ... -as-a-guy/

The truth is that so many women, particularly western, have bugger all to start a conversation over (that's the whole rationale of a profile). It's about finding COMMON GROUND, not about IMPRESSING! This goes for both men and women.

Share what I've said. Share especially to female friends who complain that they only attract douchebags, people who don't want to get to know them for them.

"Put a bag over your head."

mattyman wrote: ↑

April 11th, 2021, 5:51 pm

.....
The truth is there's plenty of guys who're willing to get to know a girl beyond what she looks like as a person. The reason she doesn't get to meet these guys is VERY SIMPLE!
-Many guys simply assume she's taken & don't bother (IRL)
-Many assume she's probably got tons of other guys interested and don't even bother (both IRL and online)
-Many assume she's stuck-up/snobby/shallow/judgemental (both IRL and online)*

-----

The truth is that so many women, particularly western, have bugger all to start a conversation over (that's the whole rationale of a profile). It's about finding COMMON GROUND, not about IMPRESSING! This goes for both men and women.

This all does not sound that wrong, but despite with all of that worthless 'advice' nobody so far was able or willing to answer my questions.

1 - About internet/local women - How do you know who is who? How do you even know if this female profile exists as a real person? - many female profiles (up to 80 percent or more) are known to be fakes or contain otherwise misleading information - and still males outnumber females on most websites at least 6:1
It's timewaste.

2 - Without considering internet, where and how really can a simple man find a nice girl? Where can he go and try? The major obstacle is always the FIRST, the initial contact. You cannot approach any girl directly in the street, you cannot talk to any female at the workplace anymore, you have to be very careful with women you meet somewhere accidentally, she might have several boyfriends already, or maybe she has children (the proud and strong teen mom), or maybe she has plenty of debts or she is a drug abuser etc. How do you know?

So my question is where can you go and approach and try to talk to a girl, who is willing at least to listen to your self-introduction without being belittled, or receiving scornful or obscene remarks or even beaten up by her and her boyfriends?

The only possibility which comes to my mind is by introduction - but who will introduce you, if you have no siblings or otherwise relatives who are helpful towards you?

Introduction often works well in many parts in Asia - I can confirm that out of my own experience, but is very time-consuming, can be costly because of travel expenses, might be difficult to settle down for you in a foreign country because of visa regulations and working permits etc.

About this OP, I have no idea how to find any reasonable female in Europe or within other Western pro-feminist areas, maybe somebody can explain it to me how to do it.

You can ask a dating coach? They will tell you to improve yourself, and "Be a man!", and work hard for that higher salary, and put in more time at the gym, and do more approaches, and take more risks, and perform a laundry list of things that nobody ever expects women to do, including handing over money for their advice. Basically, accept the double standard, all the while that society preaches "gender equality".

At least Aaron Clarey bluntly says that a man should not get his hopes up about finding a good woman, because in the time we are living in, good women are not on the menu. That was a more honest answer than what we hear from dating coaches. (the same dating coaches he is too chummy with)

I hear that women complain that they only get approached by fuckwits and people who're not really interested in getting to know them beyond shallow things. I argue that that is why they attract those types. The truth is, coming across as shallow and 'I can have any guy I want' is NOT ATTRACTIVE. On dating sites it has me clicking 'next'. I'm guessing that a lot of the sorts of guys those women are wanting to meet are doing the same as I be doing.