Apparently, there are plenty of chronically-single pretty women+common assumptions

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mattyman
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Apparently, there are plenty of chronically-single pretty women+common assumptions

Post by mattyman »

Has anyone ever heard anecdotes that attractive women often are single and remain single? The main thing I want to do is address some unhelpful assumptions and to start questioning.

If you're out in public and you see an attractive woman, have you ever had the following assumptions;
  • She's got a boyfriend, all attractive women do
  • She's got loads of guys interested in her
  • She'd only be interested in x, y, z type guys
  • She must be unfriendly and stuck-up
Chances are, we've all had thoughts like this.

The questions I want to ask; how many times have you avoided starting a conversation (in any social setting, such as being introduced, at a party, meeting friends of friends, a meetup event) because of assuming one of these things? Also, how many times have you been proven wrong?

I'm wondering, could there be many attractive women out there who're single in large part simply because no-one approaches or starts a conversation with them, likely due to the above assumptions? Or, they only get approached by the sorts of guys who're only after one thing and are not interested in getting to know her as a person?

I hear one reason why attractive women are often single is that men simply don't start conversations with them, even within settings where there's mutual people, such as friends of friends.

Also, social circumstances. Remember the big social catch 22 of needing to know lots of people to meet people through? What's the most common way people meet their partner? Through people they know. Didn't it occur to you that this could apply? If you don't know many people who don't know many people, how are you going to meet people? Didn't it occur that the same may apply to women as well as guys? Think about that. If you've ever been frustrated about not getting to meet new people because your friends don't know ,any people, didn't it occur to you that there's probably women in the same situation?

Take some time to think and to question some of these assumptions. What evidence do you have to believe e.g. 'all attractive women are taken'? What evidence do you have against? Be careful of 'confirmation bias'; that is the tendency to focus more on evidence that supports negative assumptions more than evidence against and also causes us to dismiss evidence against our negative assumptions.

Yeah, yeah, I know there's likely to be knee-jerk cynical replies, but do stop and think, question your assumptions. I want questioning assumptions and evidence against.

NOTE; AUDIENCE THIS IS AIMED AT
This is not aimed at people who're looking for one-night stands or trophy wives. This is aimed at a) guys who're unhappily single and want to be appreciated for who they are b) guys who're enjoying happy dating lives and relationships who've had these thoughts in the past to share their perspective, opinion and insight.
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Yohan
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Re: Apparently, there are plenty of chronically-single pretty women+common assumptions

Post by Yohan »

mattyman wrote:
February 2nd, 2021, 1:17 pm
Has anyone ever heard anecdotes that attractive women often are single and remain single? The main thing I want to do is address some unhelpful assumptions and to start questioning.
If you're out in public and you see an attractive woman, have you ever had the following assumptions;
  • She's got a boyfriend, all attractive women do
Do we talk about Western women? Unhelpful assumptions?

I was working in a bank and a travel agency for 8 years in Europe when I was still young - before I moved on to Japan - and a large number of employees, the majority, were women of any age.

I have never met a Western single woman in my life - not even one - who was younger than 35 y/o (not only attractive ones, but also very moderate looking ones), who did not have a sexual relationship with multiple boyfriends at the same time - many girls were starting to have full sex as young as 13 and often asking for money in return from their boyfriends.

This life-style of these typical party-girls was however changing considerably after passing their 35th birthday, often divorced, single mothers of several children with several fathers and considerably less and less attention by men - but still grumpy and unfriendly, blaming men for all and everything and asking 'where are all the good men?' LOL
  • She's got loads of guys interested in her
Yes of course, stupid pussified men who were not ashamed to line up to approach them were showing up in droves.
  • She'd only be interested in x, y, z type guys
Yes, true, the preference was into men who were 'different' from mainstream - it was not always about money, also men who had nothing to offer, even jail brothers were welcome to share their exciting life-style...
  • She must be unfriendly and stuck-up
Yes, she is - against men who are looking for a long-term relationship with a woman, are doing a regular job, are just average looking....
I know best, believe me.

I do not say that women from elsewhere are all angels and women from Western countries are all bad - but the proportion good vs. bad is different, it is much easier for any Western average man to meet a nice woman outside of Western countries.

You can see this difference about the dating scene easily if you visit places like Pattaya in Thailand - plenty of single Western men with Thai women - but you will see also many Russian men of any age and they do not mix up with the local Thai girls, they always bring their own girlfriend or wife from their own country with them.
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Cornfed
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Re: Apparently, there are plenty of chronically-single pretty women+common assumptions

Post by Cornfed »

The thing is that the assumptions are right in about 99% of cases, so is it worth worrying about the rest? I personally have only met one beautiful young female incel in my life and in fact was roommates with her. I should have f***ed her while I had the chance. I have no idea what her deal was. They do exist, but your chances of encountering one other than by chance without facing persecution are low, so perhaps it is not worth bothering to try.
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Yohan
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Re: Apparently, there are plenty of chronically-single pretty women+common assumptions

Post by Yohan »

Cornfed wrote:
February 3rd, 2021, 9:22 pm
The thing is that the assumptions are right in about 99% of cases, so is it worth worrying about the rest?
I can only agree with Cornfed.

I remember when I was still young in Europe, I made a list about why women will reject me and I calculated the chance to find any local decent girl for me with 1:400 - this means just a waste of time and money.
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walrusface
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Re: Apparently, there are plenty of chronically-single pretty women+common assumptions

Post by walrusface »

Any woman who is anywhere near average or above has plenty of options, and it seems rare that women in general stay single for very long. Think about how much attention a woman gets in a pub, club or on a dating site. I think men are always starting conversations with them, but even if they don't, if a woman is single and wants to meet someone, she can easy open up tinder etc and have plenty of guys lining up.
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Jonnyblond
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Re: Apparently, there are plenty of chronically-single pretty women+common assumptions

Post by Jonnyblond »

I’ve always said all along that the hottest women are the easiest to get with and I’m not just talking about a one night stand or a short term hook up. When you don’t put women on a pedestal and truly believe your far greater then them and they should be glad to breathe the same air as you. That’s when the magic starts. I’ve seen some very average guys pull off more miracles then Jesus Christ. Most men think it’s a fluke that some average joe landed a hot chick when in fact ever see how some of those lads operate. Hell they ain’t even rich. So what’s the catch. Be a man not to be messed with. I don’t care how you have to get a girl to think this but achieve this and you’ll always be gold in their eyes forever. I find countries where men still act like men and women are more traditional and haven’t betrayed their femininity is where your best chances are. One thing I’ve seen is that women don’t even try to interrupt their man while he’s telling a story or talking because watch what happens if it does. The look. Everyone also knows that look like she just messed up. Hahaha..but this is just overseas I’m talking about. But isn’t that what happier abroad Is about.

But is this achievable in western countries. It’s even easier because there’s so many guys that are so girly over here that I find things would be almost easier if I wasn’t married. I can’t believe the young 20 year old guys at my work are like. I think..good god..what is wrong with them. One guy is a simp supreme even I feel embarrassed for him. You can tell him the truth of what’s happening with one girl he likes and he just wouldn't hear it. Everyone literally laughs at him but I think..what are you all laughing at. You guys ain’t no better. But I did help him and it worked but he screwed it up.

Sure women have plenty of options but did you ever see their options. They are the guys they aren’t even interested in. All of those guys bombarding them with attention are only wasting their time because it’s just inflating that chicks sense of self. Even girls that are 5s or 6s think they are 10s these days. The only option they are looking for is the guy who levels and pulverizes their self esteem and could care less about them. I even told that fool that was a simp supreme at my workplace to just try this.I said give her all your simp attention for two weeks since your already that nice guy in her mind anyways. Then halt all contact with her. No calls. No attention. I guarantee she’ll do something she never did before. She’ll call you wonder where her daily attention and lap dog is. Well..well..what happened. She called him a few days later wondering where he was and what happened. I had him prepared for it though. I said as soon as she calls. Say quickly “can I let you go. I’m talking to so and so(girls name) and hang up. I said she’ll call you back sooner then you think interested in who you are talking to. It happened and he looked at me like I knew what I was talking about and how did I know this was going to happen. I said This was one of my get out of the friendzone tricks. Anyways...I said..As soon as she does then just seem like your not interested in her but do tell her about your new interest. Then after that. Be friends with her but always and I mean always bring up this girl about this and that even though she don’t exist. If she wants to do anything with you. Make excuses. This will bother her to the point she’ll do something truly shocking. She will slowly become attracted to you because she now has competition and that is something all women crave is an adversary. A girl is more attracted to a taken man then a single one. But not only that..why is she having a change of heart about you. It’s because she doesn’t want to share you with anyone because they will get what you gave her. Attention, gifts, etc. this is your chance though to be a jerk though and really take control of this situation. Did he..long story short. It worked until he went back to his nice guy simp ways and telling her things of how lucky he was that she was with him. He used sayings such as..I don’t know what you see in me. Garbage. He came back saying she might have taken things to fast and wants to be friends again. He asked what could he do to get her back and I said..I don’t know..I wouldn’t waste my time with that again so I have no advice and good luck.

Long story short..sure there’s lots of gorgeous women out there single and yes..they are approachable and easy to get with if you have the right mindset going in. Women have a galaxy full of options but 99% of those options are just the guys that shower them with attention and all the things that turn them off. It’s the guys who do the opposite of what these girls are looking for that win. The guys that are saying it’s impossible to end up with these hot chicks are defeating themselves. But most of the hot girls over here are a incredible waste of time. To many games and far to much drama. Plus you have to also have jerk mode activated 24/7 and it gets old.
mattyman
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Re: Apparently, there are plenty of chronically-single pretty women+common assumptions

Post by mattyman »

RE Yohan, those types of women
I have never met a Western single woman in my life - not even one - who was younger than 35 y/o (not only attractive ones, but also very moderate looking ones), who did not have a sexual relationship with multiple boyfriends at the same time - many girls were starting to have full sex as young as 13 and often asking for money in return from their boyfriends.
They're trash and should be told 'no thanks' or 'F-off' by more more guys. If more guys simply said 'no thanks', especially at younger ages, this situation wouldn't be.

Anyway, it's easy to focus on those examples that support the beliefs (there might have been many), and ignore the examples against (there might have been none, it's all about the CIRCLES you mix with, you might not have had evidence). This isn't defence of western women, this post is about questioning assumptions about beautiful women.

Is it really always as grim?

I really want people to question confirmation bias; that is the tendency to focus on evidence to support negative beliefs, and to write-off evidence against.

@ Jonnyblond
I’ve always said all along that the hottest women are the easiest to get with and I’m not just talking about a one night stand or a short term hook up. When you don’t put women on a pedestal and truly believe your far greater then them and they should be glad to breathe the same air as you. That’s when the magic starts.
Exactly, treating women as fellow human beings. Not focusing on impressing. The old adage 'it'll happen when you least expect it'. Meet people as you find them, get to know people as people.

Get rid of this idea that people are 'above' you because they look a certain way.

RE guys bombarding with attention;

In most cases, particularly online, it's silly things like 'hey, 'hey babe', 'what's up', nothing reading what's in the profile.

The good news: there's a refreshing change out there for those leggings-clad hotties. But will they meet MY expectations or YOUR expactations for being a GOOD PERSON? That's it guys. HAVE STANDARDS.
mattyman
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Re: Apparently, there are plenty of chronically-single pretty women+common assumptions

Post by mattyman »

RE Jonnyblond "Sure women have plenty of options but did you ever see their options. They are the guys they aren’t even interested in. All of those guys bombarding them with attention are only wasting their time because it’s just inflating that chicks sense of self."
Yes I have seen the 'options', mostly guys saying 'hey babe you look great' or a variant thereof, no reading the profile.

For those chicks who are narcissists, they're easy to pick-out and ignore. That's why those types are single or don't get to meet 'nice guys' & complain 'where are all the nice guys'.
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