"Foreign women are friendlier because they need something from you" - Refuting My Cousin Susan's Narrow View

[Winston]

My cousin's daughter Susan told me in Las Vegas when I met her there before that:

"The reason women in Taiwan or America are standoffish because they don't need or want anything from you. In Philippines or Russia women will talk to you because they need something from you. That's the only reason for the difference."

I assume by "need something" that she means foreign women are hoping to get money, gifts, a green card, or free dinners from you. Sure it's true that if someone wants something from you, they will be more open to talking to you. That's true of salesmen, street peddlers, beggars, whores, prostitutes, gold diggers who are scoping you out, etc. However, she is only partially true and overly practical and narrow minded and misses the big picture. Let me explain to Susan and everyone else.

1. First, you forget thatI had a novelty factor in Russia so I stood out from the crowd, and since Russians are very curious (unlike Taiwanese and Americans) I generated curiosity from them of course. It wasnt just because girls need my money. Not all foreign women and girls who talked to me in Russia or Eastern Europe or Philippines wanted something from me. Many were just curious or wanted to practice their English or just had nothing better to do and see no big deal about talking to a stranger (especially one with a friendly benign non-threatening face like me) because not all countries are conditioned to be paranoid about talking to strangers.

Sure I've met my fair share of scammers, gold diggers, and users/leeches who tried to get me to buy something for them or loan them money, etc. But anyone who talks to strangers or cold approaches girls eventually meets those types too. It's part of the experience and one of the drawbacks, there is always bad mixed with good. But as long as you get dates or enjoy flirting with girls, the risk is worth it.

2. In many foreign countries, people are curious about foreigners are not as paranoid as in America or NE Asia (Taiwan). And they see talking to strangers as normal and natural. Not all countries are cliquish like the US or Taiwan. It doesn't mean there is some ulterior motive. In some countries people are just more naturally sociable and do not have an "ice barrier" between strangers and are a lot more relaxed and laid back. Not all countries are stuck up. If you would get out of the US and Taiwan and NE Asia, you'd realize that as you travel more. You failed to take that into account.

This is especially true in brown peopled countries like India, Nepal, Mexico, Indonesia, Philippines, etc. Or in countries that are primarily comprised of Slavic and Latin cultures/peoples. Or in cultures that are still conservative, right wing and traditional (e.g. Eastern Europe) and not controlled by any liberal/leftist media like the one that controls the US and FORCES multiculturalism, racial equality, gay rights and feminism (things which were considered bad and immoral before 1960 but are now virtues which you are required to agree with) on everyone without their consent, and makes it a requirement for everyone to conform to political correctness. Countries who have NOT succumbed to that and still retain their traditional cultures, tend to be more friendly, authentic and open to talking to strangers, in my experience. Remember that people are not antisocial or isolated or socially disconnected by nature, they have to be ENGINEERED and conditioned to be that way, which is obvious when you look at past history, which I will talk about next.

A common characteristic of Eastern European and Russian women is that they are very CURIOUS and ask a lot of questions of foreigners and people who are different from them. In contrast, Chinese and American women aren't as curious. Plus Euro girls and Russo girls will hang out with a guy even if they're not attracted to him and are not hung up about it, whereas most Chinese or American women tend to be all or nothing, in that if you're not their type they want nothing to do with you. Especially if they are shallow types. (not all of course but most are like that) But women/girls with more depth like in Russia or Europe will be more open to hanging out with men even if he's not their type.

3. America was not always socially disconnected in the past, yet you Susan act as if modern America is the way it's always been. Nothing could be further from the truth. You should know better. (I thought your mom said you were smart?) Before 1985 Americans were more open to talking to strangers, they talked to their neighbors and had more of a sense of community. Ask anyone who grew up in the 1970's and prior, and they will tell you that, if they have a good memory and are honest and no-nonsense and not trying to conform to liberalism or political correctness. Ring wing conservative types especially will tell you this. In the 1970's and prior, one could simply go out and meet people or make friends, just like you see in the movies. It was natural and not awkward with any "ice barrier" or social disconnection. A man could flirt with a female stranger and not feel like a "creep or pervert who should be in jail" etc. So you see, it's not just overseas countries today, but the America of the past was not so socially disconnected either.

In fact, humans have never been socially disconnected like today. Therefore it's NOT natural at all. So why do you act like it's natural? Because you conform to whatever is modern? (I thought your mom said you were smart? Are you only smart in the Asian way of memorizing stuff to take on tests? If so, that's not smart in my book, if you can't think for yourself or apply logic or critical thinking, then you aren't smart in my book.) Let me ask you this: If you were in a typical town in Medieval Europe, or the Italian Renaissance, or Colonial America, or the Old West, or Victorian England, do you think people would all be stuck up and disconnected and in their own bubble and never talk to strangers and never make eye contact with others? HELL NO! LOL. NO WAY JOSE! People of the past 2,000 years were always sociable and normal and would be glad to talk to a stranger as long as they did not look menacing or threatening. There was always social connection and a sense of community. It didn't feel like a crime or violation of boundaries to talk to a stranger in the past. That only started in 1985 and especially 1990, when Americans became more closed off and mean spirited and more hyper materialistic as well. Ask older people in America who are honest, sharp, aware, observant, and no-nonsense, and they will tell you that.

You know, there's a reason why elderly people in Taiwan and America are more friendly and talkative to strangers than young people are. It's not just because they are lonely and abandoned, or are more mature and less fearful. Those may be factors, but those aren't the prime reason. The prime reason is that when they grew up in the 1950's and 60's, Taiwan and America were a lot more social and friendly and neighbors talked to each other, not isolating or disconnected like today. So their era was different in the way I described. If you ask them, they will tell you that in their day, neighbors talked to each other and families were more close, unlike today. The modern generation is an EXCEPTION to all that. So you were wrong Susan, to assume the modern era as the natural default of human beings, as if God or nature created humans intending them to be closed, standoffish and socially disconnected from each other, and not speak to each other unless its business-related. HELL NO! You couldn't be more wrong Susan. It's was a big false assumption and fallacy on your part.

4. Even if women/girls are friendlier to me only because they want/need something from me, so what? I'd rather be needed or wanted than unwanted. There's no comparison. A man deep down likes to be needed. Makes him feel special and useful. It's better than being ignored or treated like you don't exist, that's for sure. As long as the women who need me treat me good and are cute and fulfill my needs in some way, whether its good companionship, fun or sex, I'm glad, at least for a while. It's definitely better than nothing. There's no dispute about that.

So even if you were right Susan, that doesn't mean much. Men still like to be wanted/needed. Maybe you don't Susan, maybe you are cold inside and can't understand or relate. Or maybe you are in denial. But if you were an authentic, natural, traditional, true male or female, and not a feminist, you would understand. (no offense) Real feminine women, who are uncorrupted by feminism, understand this because they too need men and it's in their female nature to. Women are not meant to be independent, that's why when they try to be, they look unhappy, not joyful or fulfilled (even if they pretend to be happy, it's all a facade, we all know that, so do you).

Why do you think women cannot be hermits and live in a cabin alone in the woods, but men can? Because women are social creatures who need interdependent relationships with others in a community, family or tribe. They cannot be lone wolves like some men can. Even in the Bible, in Genesis, it says that it is not good for man to be alone, that's why God created Eve out of Adam's rib. Hence, men and women were meant to need each other and complement each other by God or nature or the creative force of the universe. Men and women were NOT meant to be independent and hate each other, as feminism and the fake degenerate immoral modern American culture teaches. (and as you again falsely assume perhaps) Women are nurturers by nature, and when they fight that or try to go against that, they will be unhappy, which is why feminists tend to always look angry, frustrated and unhappy.

So again Susan, you seem to have made a major fallacy in assuming that women by nature are independent and don't need men and don't like talking to strangers or meeting people or making friends. No way jose! Go to any healthy country not poisoned or corrupted by liberalism, communism or feminism - e.g. Colombia, Russia, Eastern Europe, etc - and you will see that women/girls are NOT naturally like that at all. Some girls may be shy, but shyness has nothing to do with being closed, hateful, standoffish or unsocial. I've met many shy girls in friendly non-feminist foreign countries and they are nothing at all like the closed girls in Taiwan who are afraid to talk to anyone or make eye contact or flirt with others, or the man-hating feminists in America. The difference is greater than you can imagine.

Conclusion and Challenge to Susan:

Anyway Susan, I hope you consider all the above, and understand why your statement above is narrow and misses the big picture. Your mom said you are smart. If so, then why can't you have an open intelligent dialogue or debate about this? Why can't you reply to my points above with a point-by-point response like intellectuals do in a discussion or debate? You don't seem to have the patience for such things. You seem to like to make short simple statements and leave it at that. That's my impression of your personality from my observation. If I am wrong, then show me. Your mom said you are smart, if that's so then where are your articles and essays that demonstrate you can think critically or intellectually with reason and logic, and make logical arguments to support your thesis like intellectuals and academics do?

All I see Susan, is that you have a site about jewelry with images of jewelry, at www.liveordieglamorously.com. Nothing more. Don't you have anything intellectual or intelligent? If not, then why does your mom say you're smart? Just because you can memorize data in textbooks and remember everything for an exam? Or memorize instructions in a manual about how to set up a cabinet or desk piece-by-piece and figure it out on your own without a man's help? If so, that's nice but I wouldn't call that smart, anymore than I would call a copy machine smart because it's good at copying papers. Memorizing/copying is just what typical Asians are good at. It's nothing special. Even Janet Hsieh is good at that. It doesn't make you special or unique, especially if you have no original or new ideas, nor any evidence of any unique/original qualities or traits you have. So how exactly are you smart? In what way? Was your mom just speaking out of pride? Either way, her definition of smart and mine don't seem to be the same.

Why am I the only one of your relatives Susan - and perhaps the only person with Taiwanese blood (not to brag) - who can think outside the box and debate issues like this point-by-point with logical arguments? No one else among our relatives can do that. Why? All our other cousins just want to be left alone. None of them can have an open intelligent discussion. Why? Even on TV and in movies, people have intelligent discussions. So why are none of my Taiwanese relatives, including Americanized ones like you, capable of that? Is it because you don't want to? If so, why?

I've noticed that American women can hold intelligent conversations if they want to. But they choose to ignore and be abrupt with strangers most of the time. Is that the case with you too? Perhaps you don't care and don't give a shit, so you don't want to waste your time replying to this point-by-point, or you lack the intelligence and cognitive skills to do so? Who knows. Either way, there is no observable evidence that you're "very smart" as your mom claims (no offense). If I am wrong, can you show me? What areas are you smart in exactly?

Anyway, let me know what you think of all this Susan. Sorry this turned out to be so long winded, and sorry if any part of this letter/post to you sounds offensive or insulting. I am just brutally honest and candid and like to tell it like it is, and call a spade a spade. I'm not a fake BSer. Thanks for reading if you got this far. I'm going to post this in my forum and see what everyone else thinks. Hope you enjoy the feedback in my forum to this.

[samlarson]

My cousin's daughter Susan told me in Las Vegas when I met her there before that:

"The reason women in Taiwan or America are standoffish and dont talk to you is because they dont need or want anything from you. In Philippines or Russia women will talk to you because they need or want something from you. That's the only reason for the difference."

I assume by "want something" that she means foreign women are hoping to get money, gifts, a green card, or free dinners from you. Sure it's true that if someone wants something from you, they will be more open to talking to you. That's true of salesmen, street peddlers, beggars, whores, prostitutes, gold diggers who are scoping you out, etc. However, she is only partially true and overly practical and narrow minded and misses the big picture. Let me explain to Susan and everyone else

1. First, you forget thatI had a novelty factor in Russia so I stood out from the crowd, and since Russians are very curious (unlike Taiwanese and Americans) I generated curiosity from them of course. It wasnt just because girls need my money. Not all foreign women and girls who talked to me in Russia or Eastern Europe or Philippines wanted something from me. Many were just curious or wanted to practice their English or just had nothing better to do and see no big deal about talking to a stranger (especially one with a friendly benign non-threatening face like me) because not all countries are conditioned to be paranoid about talking to strangers.

Sure I've met my fair share of scammers, gold diggers, and users/leeches who tried to get me to buy something for them or loan them money, etc. But anyone who talks to strangers or cold approaches girls eventually meets those types too. It's part of the experience and one of the drawbacks, there is always bad mixed with good. But as long as you get dates or enjoy flirting with girls, the risk is worth it.

2. In many foreign countries, people are curious about foreigners are not as paranoid as in America or NE Asia (Taiwan). And they see talking to strangers as normal and natural. Not all countries are cliquish like the US or Taiwan. It doesn't mean there is some ulterior motive. In some countries people are just more naturally sociable and do not have an "ice barrier" between strangers and are a lot more relaxed and laid back. Not all countries are stuck up. If you would get out of the US and Taiwan and NE Asia, you'd realize that as you travel more. You failed to take that into account.

This is especially true in brown peopled countries like India, Nepal, Mexico, Indonesia, Philippines, etc. Or in countries that are primarily comprised of Slavic and Latin cultures/peoples. Or in cultures that are still conservative, right wing and traditional (e.g. Eastern Europe) and not controlled by any liberal/leftist media like the one that controls the US and FORCES multiculturalism, racial equality, gay rights and feminism (things which were considered bad and immoral before 1960 but are now virtues which you are required to agree with) on everyone without their consent, and makes it a requirement for everyone to conform to political correctness. Countries who have NOT succumbed to that and still retain their traditional cultures, tend to be more friendly, authentic and open to talking to strangers, in my experience. Remember that people are not antisocial or isolated or socially disconnected by nature, they have to be ENGINEERED and conditioned to be that way, which is obvious when you look at past history, which I will talk about next.

A common characteristic of Eastern European and Russian women is that they are very CURIOUS and ask a lot of questions of foreigners and people who are different from them. In contrast, Chinese and American women aren't as curious. Plus Euro girls and Russo girls will hang out with a guy even if they're not attracted to him and are not hung up about it, whereas most Chinese or American women tend to be all or nothing, in that if you're not their type they want nothing to do with you. Especially if they are shallow types. (not all of course but most are like that) But women/girls with more depth like in Russia or Europe will be more open to hanging out with men even if he's not their type.

3. America was not always socially disconnected in the past, yet you Susan act as if modern America is the way it's always been. Nothing could be further from the truth. You should know better. (I thought your mom said you were smart?) Before 1985 Americans were more open to talking to strangers, they talked to their neighbors and had more of a sense of community. Ask anyone who grew up in the 1970's and prior, and they will tell you that, if they have a good memory and are honest and no-nonsense and not trying to conform to liberalism or political correctness. Ring wing conservative types especially will tell you this. In the 1970's and prior, one could simply go out and meet people or make friends, just like you see in the movies. It was natural and not awkward with any "ice barrier" or social disconnection. A man could flirt with a female stranger and not feel like a "creep or pervert who should be in jail" etc. So you see, it's not just overseas countries today, but the America of the past was not so socially disconnected either.

That's not entirely true. That's happened because tourists usually spend their time in pretty much same places and women who want to marry a foreigner guy are usually out there "hunting"

[Winston]

My expat friend Mark recently made a similar statement to what Susan said when I told him that culture shock has nothing to do with being able to meet women. Geez people are so narrow.

Mark:

That's probably because most Russians are very poor, so as soon as women saw you, they just thought that you are the way to escape their poverty.

Winston:

You forget several things Mark:

1. I had a novelty factor in Russia too and i stood out. So i generated curiosity. It wasnt just because girls need my money.

2. Russians are fearless, a million times more than Taiwan. Russians fight to the death like in world war 2. Taiwanese avoid fights. Taiwan has never had a battle of Stalingrad.

3. Russians naturally have a deep soul. E.g. Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Pushkin, etc. No Taiwanese equivalents of those deep authors. I have deep soul too. Thus we are on same or similar frequency. Taiwan is not deep at all. Its very superficial.

4. You forget that women have always talked to strangers for thousands of years. If u were in 1800s Victorian England or medieval europe, the women would talk to u like its normal and no big deal. Its only in the 1980s that Americans became isolated and cold to strangers. So the default norm is being open to strangers. Has nothing to do with wanting your money. Its human nature to talk to strangers. Always has been for thousands of years. You dont need a monetary motive to.

5. I have no culture shock in Taiwan yet i feel everyone and everything is creepy as hell and awkward. Because my personality and taiwanese are like oil and water.

6. Keep in mind that race isnt the issue. There are white guys who feel same way about taiwan as me. And there are asian guys who love Taiwan and feel comfortable here. So no that is not the common factor.

Mark i thought u were an intellectual. You should have figured out all this yourself without my help. Come on. Many things in life have no simple explanation. This is one of them.

Geez its a fallacy to assume every guy is an intellectual. Mark certainly isnt.

[Winston]

That's not entirely true. That's happened because tourists usually spend their time in pretty much same places and women who want to marry a foreigner guy are usually out there "hunting".

I don't understand what you are saying. Could you elaborate? What point are you trying to make?

[samlarson]

That's not entirely true. That's happened because tourists usually spend their time in pretty much same places and women who want to marry a foreigner guy are usually out there "hunting".

I don't understand what you are saying. Could you elaborate? What point are you trying to make?

Sure, I will try to rephrase it.

Let's take Moskow for the example ( Because I've been there )

Tourists usually go for the same places ( same bars, same restaurants, same hotels even same shops ). This is a commonly known thing and you can spot a tourist right away because a local guy will never turn their head like that to see all the sites and places, locals usually walk straight forward with faces that represent zero emotions. Moscow is a big city and really expensive, but its also a magnet for girls from suburban areas because they want to find a wealthy guy. Its a giant completion and only the luckiest ones are successful and they use all the means necessary to get what they wanted.

But if you step away from those areas and blend in with the locals you will see totally different picture. People start to smile more, they want nothing from you and therefore you feel yourself in a more friendly atmosphere. And I think this formula works for every post-soviet city.

Hope you can now understand my point =)

[hypermak]

It's the usual story around the world... Thanks to social media and dating apps, the girls of today have endless oppportunities to show off their beauty and their talents (if they have any). If a girl is just about cuter than average and likes to be under the spotlight online, she will have no shortage of men of all ages and statuses complimenting them, drooling after them.

They will probably enjoy most of the flattering and occasionally hook up with the men they will fancy for that particular moment: a good looking young stud if they feel in the mood for s*x, a wealthy older man if they want (or need) to be pampered.

I can imagine Moscow's situation, as it's notorious, but this also happens in the cities I have lived in, so London and Malta, probably any big city, where women flock looking for opportunities and many of them, as you say @samlarson, will try to achieve those opportunities by any means possible.

I also understand @Winston's point, though, as traditionally Asians are not as brash "in your face" when they are in need for material stuff. I live in the Philippines and I can see most women try hard to be extra friendly and accommodating because they are looking for something. This something isn't always just money, it could be securing the companionship of a good man, so they can start a relationship and end up married. Another Asian value, a stable marriage and a family is far more important than any temporary bout of glitz and glamour, even if the man isn't that young anymore, not that good looking and not that wealthy.

All in all, it's not a great surprise that women put up their best front because they want something from us. Isn't it the same with us men? We try to impress longing for the moment they will slip into our bed. If we don't like the s*x or the prospect of the woman sticking around in our lives, we can be just as cynical as the girls, if not more, and "next" them with no qualms.

[MrMan]

We've gotten Hulu, and I've seen bits and pieces of those 90-day-fiance shows. Its something to watch while you are doing something and don't care if you miss part of it.

There was this young guy, probably around 30, that was dating some girl from central or South America who was probably a few years younger than him. They looked like the could go together. It wasn't one of these age gap relationship or a relationship where a whale-shaped short guy gets a beautiful model type. She was a pretty girl and seemed sweet. He'd gone down there and they met and dated there, and then had done a long distance thing. He was bringing her over on a fiance visa.

But then when she meets the relatives, someone suggested she might want to come to the US for a Greencard. If I remember right, someone may have suggested it to her face.

I think women in this situation ought to rise to the occasion and say, "Greencard? I'm not setting for a Greencard. I expect him to support me while I stay at home as a stay-at home mom and raise our children. I could have worked in a restaurant or retail down in Venezuala." That would probably get a laugh and display some seriousness about the relationship at the same time.

The higher wages in the US might help some of the foreigners with the decision, but suggesting she just wants him for a Greencard is like saying he doesn't have anything going for him in terms of looks and charm, so she just wants to work in the US. It's kind of insulting.

And some people have this ignorant mindset that everyone in the world wants to come work in the US, as if they don't have lives in their own countries. We do get a lot of illegal immigrants to the US from Mexico wanting to get paid more for unskilled labor, but most people do not fit into that category.

[Winston]

My article on 12 reasons why Russian women are not seeking a green card from you or desperate to leave their country also contains many good reasons why my cousin Susan is wrong too. Asians and Asian Americans are sooooooo damn narrow!

https://blog.happierabroad.com/2021/01/ ... untry.html

[Jonnyblond]

Let’s all be honest with each other. If someone is my friend. It’s not because I think the world of them. These days it’s because they have something I want or can benefit me somehow. How many people can say they like their boss. The vast majority of people don’t like them but when it comes time for a promotion. Let’s just say we all become buddy buddy because you know it may help you get up further. I’ve seen hard workers overlooked who absolutely deserved to be in a better position but end up losing to the guy who sucked the bosses hole off. I’m not saying be a suckhole but it never hurts to get along with them like a pal. I remember working with a girl who asked me all about why I was going overseas to Ukraine and wondered why I bothered with it. I told her the deal and she replied with she’s just using you for a PR card. I said why would you think that and she said isn’t Ukraine at war with Russia and it’s a pretty lousy place to live. I said it’s actually pretty nice and she’s actually a real cool chick. Sure nobody knows what the future holds but I’ve dated enough women to know a good thing these days. Every now and again she’d bring it up why my wife wanted to move to Canada and how it would benefit her and how the relationship was just a vehicle to get here. I said look..if it happens then I’ll learn from it but who am I to gatekeep a good life for someone. Sure I’d want her to have good intentions and be legit but I think she’s cool and things will work out.

Then there was one day at lunch she was talking about how much she hated this job and couldn’t wait till oil and gas got going again(Alberta was in a recession at the time). I said why would she want to leave a great job such as landscaping as we were making alright Money. She said because oil and gas pays way more. I said yeah but life isn’t always about money. I said here it’s kinda relaxed and you have great co-workers. I said why would you want to leave. She said so she could make more money and have a better life. I said hold up woman. So you’d leave this for more money and a better life. It makes sense. She then said yeah..It would be easier to pay bills and get more things and go down south etc. I said that sounds pretty sweet. So the main question is...why wouldn’t my wife want that too. She was like what. I said that when it came to my wife coming to Canada. The only reason she wants to come to Canada is a better life and a PR card. What’s wrong with that. I said you want a better life with more money so you can do things. Why wouldn’t anyone else want that too. She said that it was using people to get to that though. I said there’s nothing being used at all. It’s my call to take a chance on it. I said your only doing this job because oil and gas isn’t booming so till then...your using this company for work until it gets better then your leaving right. I said look..we all use things to get what we want. Some are good and some are bad. Either way if things work out for me and it turns out she’s legit. Then we both win. Long story short turns out my instincts were right and my wife turned out legit.

So do all these women use us. Absolutely and I don’t blame them but it has to be for the right reasons. If they actually care about you and want a life with you then sure..bring them over and let the games begin. Sure there are terrible women that only want to get over here and once they see that they have plenty of better options over here then they leave..ya..that’s pretty scummy. But the writing is on the wall pretty much when you meet a girl. It’s very very easy to tell if she’s into you or not. That’s why I don’t get how men can be scammed because if you dated around enough...you can always tell if a girl has the hots for you or not. But all in all...we all use each other so don’t think your any better. Some of us just tell it like it is

[Winston]

Yeah true Johnnyblond. Many relationships are practical. Especially in Asia where everything is practical and pragmatic and the people have no imagination or creativity or depth, which you can see on YouTube too.

However, some relationships are based on real love or shared interests and passions. For example, if you were a Greenpeace environmentalist trying to save the ecosystem and mother earth, and that was your passion, and you join a movement to do that, and while there, you meet a woman with the same goal and passion as you, then bingo, you got a soulmate and partner who shares your goals and passions. That's ideal. Yes that does happen and some people do have that kind of soulmate. Just because we are unlucky and only meet women who use us, doesn't mean that's true for all guys. Guys are not all the same, some are lucky and find their soulmate or true love who shares their passions and hobbies and helps them grow. Other guys do not and have only practical relationships.

However, even practical relationships have to be compatible, the couple has to like each other and their personality and disposition has to work well together. You can't take any two random people and put them together for practical reasons only. Unless of course, they are selfless Asians or Indians who have no ego or personality and simply merge with each other, that's how marriages were traditionally arranged in India and Asia, and they worked too because the couple had no ego or personality to cause conflict or friction, they had no individuality or self, hence they got along.

[MrMan]

When I lived in South Korea and I would take a weekend trip to Seoul or ride a bus for some other purpose, someone might see me and sit down next to me on the bus, then strike up a conversation in English. Sometimes this would be a man, and sometimes a young woman. A lot of them probably 'wanted something'-- to practice their English. They did not want something bad. It was not as if they were taking advantage of me, but they 'wanted something.'

I remember an English teacher talking about wanting to sleep or be alone and hating it when someone set down next to him to practice English.

I did not appreciate the guy trying to strike up a conversation with my while I was using the urinal in a bus station where the urinals were too close together. For me, that's not a good time to strike up a conversation.

If a young woman strikes up a conversation with you because she wants to find a husband and potentially be married to your for life, she 'wants something', but it isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Most of us 'want something' in social interactions. It could even be to make the other person feel welcome, which is, again, not a bad thing.

[willymonfrete]

Great post winston.

[MrMan]

You could have said, "So are you saying women are only friendly to a man if they need something from him? Is that the way you women are?"