Top Regrets of Married Men

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Marriage for modern men spells eventual bitterness. Don't become yet another "Bitter Billy!" Stay free, wealthy, and with a steady stream of young, attractive women in your life.

[Splicelo]

You hardly seem happy, but misery loves company. So keep recruiting.

[Winston]

Isn't this primarily true of western couples only? Because westerners have big egos and independent minds and see themselves as individuals, not part of a collective. I'd imagine it's less of a problem for Asian couples, because Asians tend to be collectivists with smaller egos and more humility, and no independent thought, but more of a hive mind, so they get along with each other a lot easier. Right? For example, white Americans tend to not get along even as roommates in an apartments. But Asians tend to get along easily as roommates with no arguing, as though they have a harmony that Americans don't have, because Asians when together seem to have a hive mind, like ants and bees do. So they don't have the conflict and discord that westerners do. Hence Asian marriages are probably a lot more harmonious and conflict free right?

[Winston]

CE,
You will love this 1950s short film about married life in America and how terrible it is. It shows the couple quarreling over every little thing and unhappy. It looks pretty realistic. I can't believe they would show this in 1950s American television. Didn't they try to make all marriages look happy and ideal back then? lol. Do you think this couple represents the typical married couple in America when they are alone and not being watched by third parties? lol



Description:

Who's Right? by Affiliated Film Producers.; McGraw-Hill Text-Films.

Marriage for Moderns series by Irving Jacoby; Richard Leacock; Judson Gooding; Henry Adelbert Bowman;

Dramatizes the experiences of a young married couple whose quarrels undermine their happiness and prevent the development of adult love based on understanding. The husband sees his wife as spoiled, scheming and selfish. The wife sees her husband as controlling, uncaring and tyrannical. After keeping house and grocery shopping all day, the wife waits for the husband to come home from work. When he arrives he is preoccupied and complaining about the atmosphere at work. He does not seem to notice that his wife worked hard all day as well, especially to create a special dinner. Without saying a good word about the house, dinner or her looks, the husband talks on and on about what he has been working on at work, and the difficulties he has encountered. She is bored of hearing about his job and bored of her life at home. She would appreciate some attention and affection. He needs to feel that what he does is important. They argue about whether they are paying attention to each other and about how the money should be spent. Each of them wants to make up but neither wants the other to think he or she is right.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Isn't this primarily true of western couples only? Because westerners have big egos and independent minds and see themselves as individuals, not part of a collective. I'd imagine it's less of a problem for Asian couples, because Asians tend to be collectivists with smaller egos and more humility, and no independent thought, but more of a hive mind, so they get along with each other a lot easier. Right? For example, white Americans tend to not get along even as roommates in an apartments. But Asians tend to get along easily as roommates with no arguing, as though they have a harmony that Americans don't have, because Asians when together seem to have a hive mind, like ants and bees do. So they don't have the conflict and discord that westerners do. Hence Asian marriages are probably a lot more harmonious and conflict free right?

While I am sure there is a cultural component to this where it is most prevalent in Westerners, Asians who live in the West are subject to this marriage rot also. One famous, recent case is the Asian American who goes by the name Tech Lead on Youtube. His Japanese wife up and left him with their child and returned to Japan.

Tech Lead was taken completely off guard and he was devastated. So while Asians might be less apt towards the misery of marriage, their collectivist cultures tend to make the suffering more insular and able to weather the storms with more resilience.

[Winston]

Isn't this primarily true of western couples only? Because westerners have big egos and independent minds and see themselves as individuals, not part of a collective. I'd imagine it's less of a problem for Asian couples, because Asians tend to be collectivists with smaller egos and more humility, and no independent thought, but more of a hive mind, so they get along with each other a lot easier. Right? For example, white Americans tend to not get along even as roommates in an apartments. But Asians tend to get along easily as roommates with no arguing, as though they have a harmony that Americans don't have, because Asians when together seem to have a hive mind, like ants and bees do. So they don't have the conflict and discord that westerners do. Hence Asian marriages are probably a lot more harmonious and conflict free right?

While I am sure there is a cultural component to this where it is most prevalent in Westerners, Asians who live in the West are subject to this marriage rot also. One famous, recent case is the Asian American who goes by the name Tech Lead on Youtube. His Japanese wife up and left him with their child and returned to Japan.

Tech Lead was taken completely off guard and he was devastated. So while Asians might be less apt towards the misery of marriage, their collectivist cultures tend to make the suffering more insular and able to weather the storms with more resilience.

But CE. Aren't you cherry picking? I'm sure you and I both know many Asian couples in the US, not just in Asia, who stayed together for many years and are stable too right? You gotta consider that too, not just the examples you nitpick. Why don't you see the big picture? Most families I know stay together and are not divorced. Unless you run in white trash circles, you will see that most Asian families are very stable and the marriages last.

Btw, did you see the 1950's film I posted above? What did you think of it? Is that what most American marriages are like, even back in the 1950's? lol

[Contrarian Expatriate]

But CE. Aren't you cherry picking? I'm sure you and I both know many Asian couples in the US, not just in Asia, who stayed together for many years and are stable too right?

Not exactly. The Techlead case is one of the most egregious cases of zeroed out husbands REGARDLESS OF RACE. It was important to highlight it.

While I Sam no expert on Asian American cultural dynamics, I can tell you that there is a certain insularity that Asians live with so the misery factor will not be borne out in statistics and figures. From anecdotal observation, Asian husbands tend to suffer and toil in silence. There are more and more Asian Americans coming forward in the men’s rights communities to speak out on matters of marital oppression and the tyranny of wives.

You gotta consider that too, not just the examples you nitpick. Why don't you see the big picture? Most families I know stay together and are not divorced. Unless you run in white trash circles, you will see that most Asian families are very stable and the marriages last.

I’m not sure I would call the families you know the big picture by any means. Fact is that there is no visible big picture on Asian American marital misery just yet. Given that there are diverse groups of Asians in America, it would likely not be representative of them all anyhow.

Btw, did you see the 1950's film I posted above? What did you think of it? Is that what most American marriages are like, even back in the 1950's? lol

I think most American married couples are like that and often even worse! As someone who had to intervene in marital discord on occasion, and one who witnessed scores of train wrecks in professional life, the movie is a tame version of what really goes on in American marriages.

Women are governed by whims and feelings. Husbands are governed by their women. That, in and of itself, is enough to make all married men miserable (as much as most of them try to deny it)

[Contrarian Expatriate]

I think they get exactly what they asked for simply by getting married.

[Yohan]

Legally seen, there is a huge difference between a marriage contract 40 years ago and today in Western countries.
A major turn-away from marriage regarding men is surely legal concern.

Nowadays a marriage contract in Western countries simply said does not make any sense, men and boys anyway are considered as second class citizens.

About marriage today, many Western women are control freaks and consider their husband as their personal property, about 60 or more percent of all marriages are anyway ending in divorce within a few years, the bill for that pays always the man. It's getting even more complicated and frustrating in case of children.

Why should you really marry now? For what reason?

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Some Western men still believe in 'Yellow Fever' and bring an Asian woman back to their own Western countries, I think this is a big mistake.
In USA for example I did not notice any difference from where these Asian women were coming originally, they changed soon into the typical 'American girl next door'.

I can only advice you as a Western man to consider relocation to Asia if you still consider marriage.

If you cannot move away from Western countries for what reason ever, better remain single.

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You might ask me why I am married... I married more than 40 years ago, never divorced, but I married an Asian woman, moved away from Western countries for always. Never came back even not for a short visit. We have also daughters and granddaughters, even fosterdaughter. And so far, no problem at all for me.

In general women in Asia are not into man-hating feminist rhetoric and the legal system of most Asian countries is not acting against men.
Still the better place in this world for a long-term relationship if you prefer that kind of life.

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Of course not all Western women are bad and not all Asian women are good. I think, it is more about the proportion.
Likely 80 percent of Western women are trash and the remaining 20 percent are often taken early and are not available.

In Asia the proportion is opposite, maybe 80 percent are OK and 20 percent are trash - Asian countries often have a huge population, your chance to find a nice girl is easier in this sense. However to settle down in Asia as a Western man can be complicated, there are various concern regarding visa, working permits, available jobs, language issues and so on. I have seen many Western men who failed in Asia...