How do I approach a girl in SE Asia, who's flirting with me?

Voice of Reason · Post by **Voice of Reason** » July 6th, 2012, 11:29 pm

I'm in Malaysia at the moment at Malacca, and there is this pretty woman at the mall who I believe could be flirting with me.

I went into a stall to look at the bags (I need a new bag) and as I left she yells out "Hi!" to me. The next day I walked past again, and she made eye contact with me and I nodded and smiled. Then her and the other girls with her started laughing and speaking in Malay.

This is only my second week in SE Asia, and I am totally not used to this! I'm not sure what to do! This sort of thing never happens back home in Australiaâ€¦this is a new situation to me. And living in the west hasn't exactly given me much self-confidence when it comes to approaching women.

I think I should approach her, but how should I go about it? It's not a place that sells food, so it's not like I could buy a meal there and start conversation with her. How do I do it? What if she doesn't speak English, and it ends up being too awkward? Or what if it ends up just being awkward? How can I approach her, and in a way that minimises the chances of awkwardness?

Any help or advice would be appreciated! Thanks!

CerealKiller · Post by **CerealKiller** » August 26th, 2012, 9:51 pm

Voice of Reason,

Sounds like you've got a good thing going on down there in Malaysia. I've met quite a few Malays here in SE Asia, and I find their personalities refreshing after spending an extended period of time in East Asia.

Now I'm not one to spoon-feed people, but as for your question there... just stand and deliver mate. Don't worry about it! It's not as if she's going to bite.

Are you still in Malaysia, or have you gone elsewhere? Would be interesting to hear how things worked out for ya over there.

Taco · Post by **Taco** » August 26th, 2012, 10:45 pm

Just introduce yourself and tell her your looking for a good restaurant for lunch. Ask her if she wants to join you, she'll be delighted by your offer. There no awkwardness when asking Asian women on a date, that's strictly a product of western culture.

I've been in the Philippines 3 months now and I've had more women tell me I'm handsome(gwapo) than any other time in my life and I'm well past my prime. Actually, it happened to me yesterday a customer at my Filipina's store saw me walk in and told my Filipina I'm gwapo, she was in her early twenties and very single. My Filipina just laughed and said you can have him if you want.

Jester · Post by **Jester** » August 27th, 2012, 9:11 pm

Taco wrote: I've been in the Philippines 3 months now and I've had more women tell me I'm handsome(gwapo) than any other time in my life and I'm well past my prime. Actually, it happened to me yesterday a customer at my Filipina's store saw me walk in and told my Filipina I'm gwapo, she was in her early twenties and very single. My Filipina just laughed and said you can have him if you want.

CerealKiller · Post by **CerealKiller** » August 27th, 2012, 9:48 pm

Taco wrote:I've been in the Philippines 3 months now and I've had more women tell me I'm handsome(gwapo) than any other time in my life and I'm well past my prime.

Now if only Winston were to discover the Philippines...

Oh wait. He already has. That's where his illegitimate son and mother of said son live!

momopi · Post by **momopi** » August 27th, 2012, 9:54 pm

Voice of Reason wrote: I think I should approach her, but how should I go about it? It's not a place that sells food, so it's not like I could buy a meal there and start conversation with her. How do I do it? What if she doesn't speak English, and it ends up being too awkward? Or what if it ends up just being awkward? How can I approach her, and in a way that minimises the chances of awkwardness?
Any help or advice would be appreciated! Thanks!

Malaysian and English are compulsory in school. Those attending ethnic schools also learn Chinese or Tamil.

If she is Muslim, be aware that you're opening a large can of worms.

Jester · Post by **Jester** » September 1st, 2012, 12:20 am

momopi wrote:
Malaysian and English are compulsory in school. Those attending ethnic schools also learn Chinese or Tamil.

If she is Muslim, be aware that you're opening a large can of worms.

That's okay, they probably fry those and eat them.

Ginger · Post by **Ginger** » November 2nd, 2012, 4:21 am

Ginger · Post by **Ginger** » November 2nd, 2012, 4:25 am

Post by **Winston** » November 2nd, 2012, 7:43 am

This is simple. Just approach her and say hi and go with the flow. Don't you know how to make small talk? Talk to her like you are talking to us. Be funny and playful and sweet. SE Asian girls like that. If you get good vibes or if she smiles at you a lot, ask for her phone number.

Does your smart phone have a language app that you can use as an electronic dictionary?

davewe · Post by **davewe** » November 2nd, 2012, 10:24 am

Ginger wrote:
Taco wrote:Just introduce yourself and tell her your looking for a good restaurant for lunch. Ask her if she wants to join you, she'll be delighted by your offer. There no awkwardness when asking Asian women on a date, that's strictly a product of western culture.

I've been in the Philippines 3 months now and I've had more women tell me I'm handsome(gwapo) than any other time in my life and I'm well past my prime. Actually, it happened to me yesterday a customer at my Filipina's store saw me walk in and told my Filipina I'm gwapo, she was in her early twenties and very single. My Filipina just laughed and said you can have him if you want.
Oh we say gwapo to every foreigner, so don't be too flattered about it, it's part of bola-bola culture. Sorry to be the grinch

Of course it's obvious that Filipinas throw out those guapo compliments pretty darn liberally. The point is in the West you're never gonna be complimented, even if you are married to the girl.

So, my gf calls me guapo. I take it with a grain of salt but it's sure nicer that what my ex-wife called me.

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » November 2nd, 2012, 10:38 am

Ginger wrote:get a local wingman or winggirl....and if she is islamic, you are toast.

Agreed, this works well in Mexico and with Latinos in the U.S.

Ginger wrote:Go approach her, the worse that can happen is you getting slapped, and if you tall enough she might not be able to reach that far up

Great advice. In the U.S., our automatic response is "run and hide" for very good reasons - rejections can be far worse than simply getting slapped. For example, some guys, including Winston, have had security called on them.

Rayn · Post by **Rayn** » November 2nd, 2012, 11:01 am

As a Malaysian member here in HA I am of course obliged to give advice when it comes to dating in my homeland.

To play a bit of a devil's advocate here...Malaysians do call guys handsome without necessarily having the intention of flirting or staring a relationship with them. I know, I have been called that by mothers and wives, even other guys before. So yeah, like Ginger said, don't' be too flattered about it.

Also the girl you mentioned is far outside of Kuala Lumpur, which of course is a positive indicator so I'll say go for it (I'll probably start a controversial thread detailing why KL is NOT an ideal place for foreigners to look for relationships - hookers and gold diggers excluded, but it depends whether my mood is up for it). She's likely to be humble enough to not push you off simply because you followed Winston advice of saying hi and going with the flow instead of doing some unthinkable boombastic sweep-her-off-her-feet pickup.

However, brace yourself for the reality...if she's Muslim the only way you can bone her is to marry her AND be a Muslim yourself. Or you can just play the bad boy card and illicit her into doing it against her moral consciousness. Or perhaps you will be lucky enough to find that she is a naughty girl in denial, LOL.

Jester · Post by **Jester** » November 2nd, 2012, 9:26 pm

Ginger wrote:
Voice of Reason wrote:I'm in Malaysia at the moment at Malacca, and there is this pretty woman at the mall who I believe could be flirting with me.

I went into a stall to look at the bags (I need a new bag) and as I left she yells out "Hi!" to me. The next day I walked past again, and she made eye contact with me and I nodded and smiled. Then her and the other girls with her started laughing and speaking in Malay.

This is only my second week in SE Asia, and I am totally not used to this! I'm not sure what to do! This sort of thing never happens back home in Australiaâ€¦this is a new situation to me. And living in the west hasn't exactly given me much self-confidence when it comes to approaching women.

I think I should approach her, but how should I go about it? It's not a place that sells food, so it's not like I could buy a meal there and start conversation with her. How do I do it? What if she doesn't speak English, and it ends up being too awkward? Or what if it ends up just being awkward? How can I approach her, and in a way that minimises the chances of awkwardness?

Any help or advice would be appreciated! Thanks!
get a local wingman or winggirl....and if she is islamic, you are toast.

Go approach her, the worse that can happen is you getting slapped, and if you tall enough she might not be able to reach that far up

note to self --
always hit on short girls!

Jester · Post by **Jester** » November 2nd, 2012, 9:29 pm

davewe wrote: Of course it's obvious that Filipinas throw out those guapo compliments pretty darn liberally. The point is in the West you're never gonna be complimented, even if you are married to the girl.

especially

How do I approach a girl in SE Asia, who's flirting with me?

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