She's Not Yours, It's Just Your Turn

[jamesbond]

Good video by Joker from Better Bachelor. Guys, she's not yours, it's just your turn.

[MrMan]

What he says is probably true of a lot of relationships and a lot of women. But if all women were like that all the time, none of them would get married, settle into a married rut with a boring guy and die, and historically, a lot of women have done just that.

I was thinking back to when I was dating my wife. Prices were dirt cheap. I'd take her to a certain mall that had all kinds of food. I remember that was a little Italian buffet place that opened up for 20,000 rupiah, $2 at the time. That's probably nearly double in today's prices, and I was making an okay college graduate salary for the US, which went really far there. $2 per person was an expensive meal. So I took her out to dinner just about every night. Occasionally, she wanted to eat at some dirty street stall on the side of the road. Especially at first, she felt bad I was spending so much on her.

I took her out a lot. Sometimes it was the equivalent of fast food-- noodle soups or fried noodles or whatever. Most was a little higher end than that. Rarely anything fancy. Of course, as a college student, she hadn't been eating out like that, so maybe it was new. But I didn't try to do something really 'special' for her hardly at all, except on rare occasions like when I proposed to her. We both dressed up and I took her to a buffet at a nice restaurant near a garden that was actually a beautiful spot in Jakarta, something extremely rare.

Since I married her, I don't keep coming up with new and exciting things. She has complained that when we eat out, we eat at the same few restaurants. Occasionally, I mix it up. We added a Japanese restaurant to it, and rarely eat at that Mexican place. It's pretty boring, not all that exciting, but she's still with me.

But we have lived in various places in the world, including some idyllic locations, not necessarily our accommodations. Maybe moving every so many years counts as exciting.

If you are dating you can do some not-too-exciting activity, eat something not too expensive, and just say it is a good place to talk and get to know each other. That's what it's about, not providing spectacular entertainment. If she wants that, she can go to the circus. If she drops you after a few dates for not giving her more and more butterflies, you may be better off.