Happier Abroad Forum Community

OK, I've already heard that a lot of Filipinas you meet on dating sites will come up with a variety of fake sob stories to get you to offer them money. But the below is the first such example to happen to me. This is a 19yr old from Cebu I've exchanged about 5 or 6 messages with and befriended on Facebook. I asked her how her New Year's eve was and got this response:

"im so sad right now...its not a hapi new year for me...last dec.29..i lost all my money..included my fon..huhuhu so sad r u familiar with snatchers...riding on a motor bike?theyre known here as bikers...they snatch my bag..my salary,,my bonus which my boss gave me...huhuh...i cant even ask help becos i was shock..!even a single centavo..i hav nothing...even to buy food..huhhu!i hav nothing...i cried the whole day...even if i cried to death my bag wont come back to me..."

Should I immediately unfriend and block her? Or is there a chance she's legit?
Don't worry, there is no way in hell I'm gonna be gullible enough to send her money before meeting her in person.
But should I even continue talking to her?

btw, what's all the "huhuhu"s mean? Is that supposed to represent crying?

Here is how I look at it, almost all Filipinos are fairly poor, so they all have lots of sob stories. You can't help them or you'll be as poor as them in no time flat. Her story probably isn't true but she probably is poor. Even if it is true why would you send her money? You haven't met her, chances are you won't have a relationship with her even if you do send money and meet her. I'd just stop talking to her myself and cut her off your Facebook.

Hu, hu hu is probably crying.

I met a pickup girl in Cebu that I occasionally still chat with and sometimes hook up with in Cebu when I am there. Before christmas she messaged me and we were chatting and then she pounced and said her house burned down and lost all her possessions. So it doesn't matter even if you know them, many women will still try to con money off of you cause they think Westerners are walking ATM machines an have an endless supply of money. If she lost all her money and stuff, how she afford to hang around in an internet cafe half the day?

Even if this is true..which I really doubt, why should you personally take up the cause of helping every charity case that drops a sob story? I don't care if she's a FHM model at that level of just interacting on the internet she's not even really an acquaintance yet. As soon as someone drops those kinds of small fry con games it's time to move on. It would be a much different story if you knew this girl for awhile and saw it happen with your own eyes.

Guys there is this Magical Word that solves all of these issues.

'NO'.

The soap opera drama she laid on you is almost 100% certain to be pure BS. A couple of time I have been asked to personally check on
desperately sick relatives in hospitals, as reported from the Philippines to their Kano guy. Boy were they surprised when a real live yankee showed up to verify the story...which of course turned out to be total bullshit.


a good filipina will be very reluctant to ask for anything like that, and very rarely do even their misadventures sound like the story line from a Philippines soap opera...


Jake

Here's what an educated Filipino guy on my mailing list had to say about this thread:

Hard to tell if she is telling the truth. Things like that happens a lot here. At least her story is original. But I agree with the other posters there. Don't send money. It's not the guy's place. He can just say "I wish I was there to comfort you" then see what her response is. If she ask for money then it's time to let her go. I tend to not trust girls who are from the province and have access to the internet.

globetrotter wrote:Guys there is this Magical Word that solves all of these issues.

'NO'.

Most powerful word in the male psyche is No. Use it well. In addition, if she is on the damn Internet, she might not be poor.

Mr S wrote:If she lost all her money and stuff, how she afford to hang around in an internet cafe half the day?

Yeah, it's even more funny when your in the Philippines and your phone is blowing up from all the incoming texts and calls day after day. If they have money to do shit like that they probably don't need it so bad.

You need to test how strong her interest in you is. Send her a naked pic of yourself and if you never hear from her again she's lying.

Winston wrote:Here's what an educated Filipino guy on my mailing list had to say about this thread:

Hard to tell if she is telling the truth. Things like that happens a lot here. At least her story is original. But I agree with the other posters there. Don't send money. It's not the guy's place. He can just say "I wish I was there to comfort you" then see what her response is. If she ask for money then it's time to let her go. I tend to not trust girls who are from the province and have access to the internet.

First off, Let Me Repeat for everybody: My question is not "Should I send money?". I already know NOT to do that. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. She won't be getting a dime from me before meeting in person.
My question was: "Should I even bother continuing to talk to her or should I just block/unfriend her", i.e.- is there a chance she's legit?

Winston, I used your Filipino friend's suggestion. Here's what I messaged her:
"Wow, that's terrible. I wish I was there to comfort you. Did you go to the police and report it and give them a description of the perp?
Did their motorbike have a license plate?"

Her response:
"nope..i was shock at that time..yes the motorbike had the license
plate..but it runs so fast that i couldnt even read it...i cant even see their faces..because their faces are all covered with close helmets..huhuh..wish you were here.."

So she hasn't asked me for money. I guess I'll continue talking with her and possibly meet her when I'm in Cebu Jan.20th. What would you guys do?

YoucancallmeAl wrote:
So she hasn't asked me for money. I guess I'll continue talking with her and possibly meet her when I'm in Cebu Jan.20th. What would you guys do?

It might not have been a direct request but it sounds a lot like a baiting attempt to me. I would sever contact asap. I don't like women playing these games and to me that demonstrates low character and an agenda from the start. No reason to give "second chances" or "benefit of the doubt" to someone you don't even really know. There are plenty of women to select from in SE Asia.

Plus anyone that uses "huhuhu" to simulate crying on messenger/e-mail sounds like a total moron.

Repatriate wrote: Plus anyone that uses "huhuhu" to simulate crying on messenger/e-mail sounds like a total moron.

Haha! Yeah, well, she is only 19. And from Philippines. So I'm not expecting a rocket scientist.

I'm a little more tolerant than Repatriate, so I would give her another chance. If she comes up with another sob story, then Repatriate was probably right.

Any other signs from her? Have you seen her on webcam chat yet? If not, you should to get her vibes and make sure she is real.

Where did you meet her?

YoucancallmeAl wrote:First off, Let Me Repeat for everybody: My question is not "Should I send money?". I already know NOT to do that. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. She won't be getting a dime from me before meeting in person.
My question was: "Should I even bother continuing to talk to her or should I just block/unfriend her", i.e.- is there a chance she's legit?

Ok.

Then I will tell you what you should do.

"Should I even bother continuing to talk to her or should I just block/unfriend her"

No. Block her and move on. Don't waste another yocto-second thinking about her/this.

is there a chance she's legit?

No. Move on.

There. Done.