Happier Abroad Forum Community

I am 50 now, but all my life I have never desired to have my own children. Never had a stable or settled enough life or been in a solid, serious, loving relationship to even consider it. Always been a loner and always on the move.

I actually enjoy the company of children...but I have never imagined myself as a father. The thought of the responsibility has always terrified me. The roots of my psychology about this issue are deep and convoluted.

But now I want to make a decision to have a vasectomy but it is so hard to make it. It seems so final. I have no one to discuss it with.

I am just so tired of using condoms (yes I know they protect against diseases) but every sexual encounter is mixed in with the terror of it failing and impregnating some woman that I have no feelings for, no intension of marrying, totally unsuitable as a mother, no financial means of supporting and bringing up a child properly and absolutely no desire to do so. The logic says do it but it is so hard.

How can I cross this bridge?

All thoughts, suggestions, ideas, analysis, experiences are welcome.

Do it if you must but why not vas-clips? Totally reversible and way less invasive! You can also freeze some sperm
so you will have a back up incase you change your mind in wanting children.

hey i did some research on a vasectomy, im 25 and been looking to get one asap cus i dont want kids, im not interested in the investment of someone elses livlihood, i look at my dad and mom and they had 7 kids, they are still trying to put their last 2 kids through college and they are in their 50s and 60s and they are tired, im one of those kids and i try to be as independent as possible in these hard times and not ask them for things cus i dont want to be a financial burden to them. . .. . i wishi could give them more. . . but my point in stating this is. . . cus i dont wanna be taking care of kids for 40 or 50 years of my life and have to pay for diapers, pay for doctor fees, hospital fees, school, daycare, babysitters, and most expensively college fees, oops i forgot to mention child support if the female decides to file for it, correct me if im wrong, i was never interested in investing in kids and thats exacltly wut kids are, they consume money and income, they are NOT free, some one will PAY for them,

as far as vasectomy, if you get one they are reversible but i spoke to Dr. Stein

http://vasweb.com/Dr_Stein.htm

and he said that its pretty hard to reverse a vasectomy 10 years after the vas tubes have been cut so just keep that in mind, im sure i want to have one cus i know i dont wanna spend $ on kids, EVER they cost too much and i feel its not worth my time or money, some guys just wanna have sex but not have to pay for kids after the orgasm, im one of those guys, but some men actually wanna be dads, thye just better be ready for the financial challenges that comes with raising a kid thats all i have to say

10 years after the vas tubes get cut, and its pretty much hard to get it reversed thats what the doctor said, so if you get it make sure its what you wanna live with that decision