I wish I had someone to talk to...

[hypermak]

When you are in Italy, get yourself a little humble apartment. Live simply, frugally. Try and make friends. Maintain those friendships. Build up your social skills, your self-esteem. Everything. You are like a Build-A-Bear at this point... Build-A-Man. You're not one. You're a new, fresh page. A clean slate. Go, write on it who you wish to be. And make it so! And after that, only after, you go get those girls.

Good advice, @MarcosZeitola. It's a lot easier in Italy to socialise with workmates, much easier than it was over in the UK. Even finding a simple job like bilingual call center agent would help give him a social circle.

I agree on the fact that he would have to give up that awkwardness and social ineptitude. It could be forgiven at the beginning, most people would put it down to him being from a different culture and not used to the Italian way of living. After a while it would strike as genuine, so before that happens it's better if it was fixed.

[MarcosZeitola]

Good advice, @MarcosZeitola. It's a lot easier in Italy to socialise with workmates, much easier than it was over in the UK. Even finding a simple job like bilingual call center agent would help give him a social circle.

I agree on the fact that he would have to give up that awkwardness and social ineptitude. It could be forgiven at the beginning, most people would put it down to him being from a different culture and not used to the Italian way of living. After a while it would strike as genuine, so before that happens it's better if it was fixed.

I have no way of knowing where in Italy @Tsar would be located, or where you would be situated yourself. But I heard you'll be leaving the Philippines shortly, within a few weeks. And Tsar will be leaving America for Italy within a few weeks, too. Maybe you could shoot him a PM at some point. He may benefit from your social skills, your advise. And him being an American, he may be a nice opportunity to improve your English, which in written form is already flawless. If anyone here on HA would benefit from your help, it'd be him.

[hypermak]

Good advice, @MarcosZeitola. It's a lot easier in Italy to socialise with workmates, much easier than it was over in the UK. Even finding a simple job like bilingual call center agent would help give him a social circle.

I agree on the fact that he would have to give up that awkwardness and social ineptitude. It could be forgiven at the beginning, most people would put it down to him being from a different culture and not used to the Italian way of living. After a while it would strike as genuine, so before that happens it's better if it was fixed.

I have no way of knowing where in Italy @Tsar would be located, or where you would be situated yourself. But I heard you'll be leaving the Philippines shortly, within a few weeks. And Tsar will be leaving America for Italy within a few weeks, too. Maybe you could shoot him a PM at some point. He may benefit from your social skills, your advise. And him being an American, he may be a nice opportunity to improve your English, which in written form is already flawless. If anyone here on HA would benefit from your help, it'd be him.

My hometown is in Veneto, the region where Venice is. No idea what @Tsar wants to do and when. I assume it might be a few more months before he gets his passport and organises his trip to Italy. Enough for this Covid insanity to have eased, or be over. Who knows...

Happy to help...

[Tsar]

What is some of the proper lingo I should learn how to use? I would think each culture or country has its own lingo or is American lingo universal? I never had a friend in real life ever except people online which I mentioned many times in the past when I was an active poster.

I was going to go to Russia a few months after I settled permanently in Europe but Russia closed its borders so I will be going to either Belarus or Ukraine in 2021.

I'm not at all suicidal. My hope is very high because I can finally leave the United States and I'm been building up to this moment.

It's just the timing and situation of me leaving America when from 10 weeks down to 3 because of the crisis I am now in but I guess even in the worst of times there are still some positives. I am looking forward to leaving everything behind because I'm done with the United States for a very long time. I'll be letting everything expire when I'm in Europe. My drivers license, US passport, and I'll maintain no residence in the USA.

You will need to get out there, a lot. You will need to socialize, a lot. You will need to befriend people, and focus first and foremost on not befriending local girls, but men. Guys your age. Or younger. Or older. A guy with no friends, no social life, going after young girls? Creepy. A guy with a rich social life, friends, someone established in the community, doing the same? Eccentric. Be fit. Be healthy. Be sociable. Be the type of guy other guys think of fondly, and it will greatly help you in every way possible.

To go from "having no real-life friends" to romancing girls, is pretty much zero to 100 and you will find it hard, if not impossible. So first you need to forget about girls for a moment. For as long as a year, friend, I advise you to drop the quest for love and instead embark on a quest for friendship. Establish yourself in Europe. And, as @Yick said, stay in Italy for a while. A while, as in, at least a year or so. Make a life for yourself. Get some work. Make friends. It's easier said then done... this will not be an easy process. But you have to, man. You have to. It's that sink or swim moment.

I love sex and beautiful women as much as the next guy, Tsar, but Rome wasn't built in a day. In order for you to get the physical affection, validation and hopefully love you desire and so desperately lack right now... you need to change, who you are. Can I tell you how to talk, how to act, what lingo the 'cool crowd' uses? I dunno... I'm out of things. Out of the loop. I haven't actively pursued girls in quite a while, having married and started a family about six years ago. You would have to stop getting information from people online, from social media, movies, popular culture... hell, this place, is not a good place for advise either. And what you will need, is real life, on the ground experience.

There are certain things people talk about, yes. There's a certain attitude people have. There are cool topics, not so cool topics. Topics to be welcomed universally, and topics to be avoided rather desperately. I'm not insinuating you lack any social grace, Tsar, because if I recall correctly, you were once employed by some bank or firm? And you have also been a part of a family, had siblings, cousins, right? So you know the bare basics. You can function. But you have trouble actually connecting to people. Which you will need to do, now. And soon.

When you are in Italy, get yourself a little humble apartment. Live simply, frugally. Try and make friends. Maintain those friendships. Build up your social skills, your self-esteem. Everything. You are like a Build-A-Bear at this point... Build-A-Man. You're not one. You're a new, fresh page. A clean slate. Go, write on it who you wish to be. And make it so! And after that, only after, you go get those girls.

I don't think it's going to be Italy but I am leaving in a few weeks. Italy is more affordable than the US but I was going to go more east into the EU where its cheaper. I don't have enough money to be in Italy although I would like to have gone there if it were possible. The places I saw available online are really old and in need on major repairs. I need a place with new construction happening and cheap real estate prices for leasing and that's in the eastern EU.

Somewhere like Romania, Croatia, or Bulgaria. I haven't gotten my ticket or AirBnB yet but that's happening next week once I sell something things to raise enough money for all of that. I hope I'm out of America by November 2-5. I'll decide based on how the calendar falls. But I know November 5 is the final day I could possibly stay without losing more of what little I have left.

Technically I had a job but I didn't get it myself and it was intolerable work meant for literal trained monkeys or a robot. It was terrible. My family was never close so I have no real relations. I wish I had a better life but I guess it's partly good my life was terrible otherwise I wouldn't have spent all my effort working to leave the United States.

It will be challenging for me to make friends and learn how to interact well with others since I only have really interacted in business conversations and online conversations (mostly online gaming or forums). I have chatted with girls online before but only a few showed interested but I lose interest eventually if nothing real good develops or the girl doesn't message me first occasionally. That is one of the reasons why I always use to post I wanted my girl to be extraverted so she could compliment me and maybe help me learn to be better at being more social.

It's difficult for me to make friends whether they're male or female in America but I assume it should be easier abroad. I just don't know the first step. I could cold approach a girl in a park or on the street just fine and ask for her number or if she wants to go on a date, but how would I say hello to a guy and try to be friends?

[Tsar]

Good advice, @MarcosZeitola. It's a lot easier in Italy to socialise with workmates, much easier than it was over in the UK. Even finding a simple job like bilingual call center agent would help give him a social circle.

I agree on the fact that he would have to give up that awkwardness and social ineptitude. It could be forgiven at the beginning, most people would put it down to him being from a different culture and not used to the Italian way of living. After a while it would strike as genuine, so before that happens it's better if it was fixed.

I have no way of knowing where in Italy @Tsar would be located, or where you would be situated yourself. But I heard you'll be leaving the Philippines shortly, within a few weeks. And Tsar will be leaving America for Italy within a few weeks, too. Maybe you could shoot him a PM at some point. He may benefit from your social skills, your advise. And him being an American, he may be a nice opportunity to improve your English, which in written form is already flawless. If anyone here on HA would benefit from your help, it'd be him.

My hometown is in Veneto, the region where Venice is. No idea what @Tsar wants to do and when. I assume it might be a few more months before he gets his passport and organises his trip to Italy. Enough for this Covid insanity to have eased, or be over. Who knows...

Happy to help...

Maybe you could talk to me about Italy. I don't know if its possible for me to move there immediately because of my income and money situation. By the time I leave the United States I'll only have my 360 Euro + whatever else if remaining from my November income and whatever I managed to sell in the meantime. I thought I would have more money but being technically homeless has complicated it and accelerated my move from 10 weeks to 3-4 weeks but more like 3 weeks.

I'm also doing some trickery to buy new products I already own and return the same but used products so I can attempt to sell the new one on eBay before I leave. Things I wouldn't have been able to bring with me either because of size or I don't have a use for them anymore.

[yick]

Good advice, @MarcosZeitola. It's a lot easier in Italy to socialise with workmates, much easier than it was over in the UK. Even finding a simple job like bilingual call center agent would help give him a social circle.

I agree on the fact that he would have to give up that awkwardness and social ineptitude. It could be forgiven at the beginning, most people would put it down to him being from a different culture and not used to the Italian way of living. After a while it would strike as genuine, so before that happens it's better if it was fixed.

I have no way of knowing where in Italy @Tsar would be located, or where you would be situated yourself. But I heard you'll be leaving the Philippines shortly, within a few weeks. And Tsar will be leaving America for Italy within a few weeks, too. Maybe you could shoot him a PM at some point. He may benefit from your social skills, your advise. And him being an American, he may be a nice opportunity to improve your English, which in written form is already flawless. If anyone here on HA would benefit from your help, it'd be him.

My hometown is in Veneto, the region where Venice is. No idea what @Tsar wants to do and when. I assume it might be a few more months before he gets his passport and organises his trip to Italy. Enough for this Covid insanity to have eased, or be over. Who knows...

Happy to help...

Maybe you could talk to me about Italy. I don't know if its possible for me to move there immediately because of my income and money situation. By the time I leave the United States I'll only have my 360 Euro + whatever else if remaining from my November income and whatever I managed to sell in the meantime. I thought I would have more money but being technically homeless has complicated it and accelerated my move from 10 weeks to 3-4 weeks but more like 3 weeks.

I'm also doing some trickery to buy new products I already own and return the same but used products so I can attempt to sell the new one on eBay before I leave. Things I wouldn't have been able to bring with me either because of size or I don't have a use for them anymore.

Do you have an Italian passport yet? If you don't then hold on until you do.

And though there have been people who have started a new life with 360 or less dollars in their pocket, they have gone to people already established in that country, family, friends, accquaintances from their hometown... do you know the language of Bulgaria, Romania or wherever? How are you going to support yourself? And if you think you are just going to walk into Finland and start claiming dole, have another good think about that - part of EU laws is that any EU citizen can be deported if they start being reliant on the state.

You aren't thinking any of this through, are you?

[hypermak]

Maybe you could talk to me about Italy. I don't know if its possible for me to move there immediately because of my income and money situation. By the time I leave the United States I'll only have my 360 Euro + whatever else if remaining from my November income and whatever I managed to sell in the meantime. I thought I would have more money but being technically homeless has complicated it and accelerated my move from 10 weeks to 3-4 weeks but more like 3 weeks.

I'm also doing some trickery to buy new products I already own and return the same but used products so I can attempt to sell the new one on eBay before I leave. Things I wouldn't have been able to bring with me either because of size or I don't have a use for them anymore.

There is a lot I could tell you about Italy but the main questions for you are:

• how close are you already, to Italy? Do you speak some Italian, do you have some distant relative there, who might help you settle and make your first period less chaotic and hard?
• do you really want to move to Italy because of your ancestry, or it's because you are really keen to settle in Italy, which means trying (hard) to learn Italian, find a decent job and socialise (with adults, not "jail bait" teens!)?

Selling some of your old stuff, or stuff you don't need anymore, is an excellent first step.

[MarcosZeitola]

Technically I had a job but I didn't get it myself and it was intolerable work meant for literal trained monkeys or a robot. It was terrible. My family was never close so I have no real relations. I wish I had a better life but I guess it's partly good my life was terrible otherwise I wouldn't have spent all my effort working to leave the United States.

It will be challenging for me to make friends and learn how to interact well with others since I only have really interacted in business conversations and online conversations (mostly online gaming or forums). I have chatted with girls online before but only a few showed interested but I lose interest eventually if nothing real good develops or the girl doesn't message me first occasionally. That is one of the reasons why I always use to post I wanted my girl to be extraverted so she could compliment me and maybe help me learn to be better at being more social.

It's difficult for me to make friends whether they're male or female in America but I assume it should be easier abroad. I just don't know the first step. I could cold approach a girl in a park or on the street just fine and ask for her number or if she wants to go on a date, but how would I say hello to a guy and try to be friends?

You are in a difficult position. You have all these desires. But so little life experience to work with. This is hard. It will not be easy. I want you to be aware of that now. Before it all starts. You start anew. Fresh slate. From scratch entirely. This seems idyllic and it is, in a way, but it's also hard as hell. Without the prior social experience, building up these skills will require hard work and dedication. Those video games you play? Sell 'em all. The devices you play them on? Sell 'em all. Sell everything you do not need.

Be minimalist. All things you owe that could keep you holed up in your apartment, you have to rid yourself of them because your money will be running low sooner rather than later and you will be out on the street. You need to work your ass off. Apply for jobs. Talk to people. Joke with people. You will fail. You will make the wrong impression at times. This is normal and natural. Do not be discouraged; you will go through all the trials and tribulations most of us went through as we learned these vital social skills in our childhood and teenage years. Now you will have to learn them as a grown man in your thirties, which means that regardless of where you are in the world, you WILL be expected to know the social cues, the right words, and if you don't, sure folks may be more patient abroad but their patience is low, given your age.

Your main focus now is survival. Acquiring all the skills needed to survive. And, later on, building upon those needed for you to thrive. As you work your way through life abroad, keep on improving your social skills. This will be your salvation, and will allow you to get and keep your dream girl, perhaps years from now. To save yourself from starving in the street or being evicted, work any job you can get your hands on. In your free time, get a cheap laptop and learn a useful skill like maybe programming, something you can do from home and learn in the evenings.

As for friendships, I could not tell you how to develop them. It comes natural. But I would tell you to read some books by Robert Green. The ones on Power and Seduction specifically may be of interest to you. Even to befriend someone includes, at times, elements of seduction. Humor is important. Dressing, looking and coming across the right way, matters. Not taking yourself too seriously helps a lot, too. All this you have to learn. If you fail to learn this, if you fail to develop the social and life skills necessary for any man not born into a Trust Fund, you're dead meat anywhere you go. So now is your time, to be the best you. And show all the haters wrong. Make radical changes. Get radical results. Or, die trying.

[Neo]

About 20 years ago, I went to live in Germany for a short time. I had made a trip before that in the same year, and I met a few people and I stayed with them, until I found an apartment, which also a friend helped me to get. I couldn't read German.

I was also able to get a permit to allow me to stay there for one year.

After that I met a "girlfriend" who helped me pay my rent for a time while I found a job working.

The problems I had though, was that my job was so far from my apartment that the cost of commuting on the subway and rail system took up too much of my money and hours of my time. And the cost of rent near my job were very high as well, and my job didn't pay much.

I'm glad I came back to the states for a while though. That's where I got saved.

But it was fun to live there in the summer time, and it seems to me that there are more women who are absolutely gorgeous there compared to the percentage in the States. Lots of 10+ women everywhere, but also women with other kinds of looks as well.

And basically for years, up until late 2018, my mind has continually been trying to figure out ways how to get back there and live comfortably. But now the problem is, I don't think there are any churches in Germany that I could go to that believe the same way that I believe. Lutheranism doesn't count for me.

[MarcosZeitola]

And basically for years, up until late 2018, my mind has continually been trying to figure out ways how to get back there and live comfortably. But now the problem is, I don't think there are any churches in Germany that I could go to that believe the same way that I believe. Lutheranism doesn't count for me.

What's the matter, you couldn't find some whacky Evangelical cult in Germany that'll make you pay 10% of your monthly income in 'tithes' to its pastor so he can live a life of luxury, like you're used to in the United States of Gaymerica?

Nah seriously, jokes aside, you'd have to belong to a uniquely rare and special denomination not to find a single Church of it in Germany, a nation of83 million souls. And surely God will consider you saved either way. I mean you accept Jesus, right, so why the need to go Church to show off how pious you are, don't you believe salvation is 'without works'? No need for Church.

[Neo]

And basically for years, up until late 2018, my mind has continually been trying to figure out ways how to get back there and live comfortably. But now the problem is, I don't think there are any churches in Germany that I could go to that believe the same way that I believe. Lutheranism doesn't count for me.

What's the matter, you couldn't find some whacky Evangelical cult in Germany that'll make you pay 10% of your monthly income in 'tithes' to its pastor so he can live a life of luxury, like you're used to in the United States of Gaymerica?

Nah seriously, jokes aside, you'd have to belong to a uniquely rare and special denomination not to find a single Church of it in Germany, a nation of83 million souls. And surely God will consider you saved either way. I mean you accept Jesus, right, so why the need to go Church to show off how pious you are, don't you believe salvation is 'without works'? No need for Church.

OK, thanks.

[MarcosZeitola]

OK, thanks.

Nah seriously I am legit curious about what church you belong to that is so rare that Germany does not have a single church for you to attend? Many German towns have multiple denominations, surely the would be something, for you?

What's your church?

[Neo]

OK, thanks.

Nah seriously I am legit curious about what church you belong to that is so rare that Germany does not have a single church for you to attend? Many German towns have multiple denominations, surely the would be something, for you?

What's your church?

Thanks for asking. It isn't about the denomination but about their beliefs and doctrines. I don't want to make this thread about me or religion though. It's about Tsar. But you have inspired me to renew my search, and some good churches are already listed on a website that I've been to before, but I hadn't checked on the international section.

[Tsar]

HELP!!!

Is TransferWise any good? I can't open a traditional bank account in the United States at the moment. I will need Euros so I guess I'd rather to TransferWise rather than a bank then withdraw it instantly and close that TransferWise account if I won't need it which I probably won't because the first thing I do when I get to wherever it is I'm going in 3-4 weeks is opening a bank account within the first week or two. Has anyone used TransferWise? I should just bring dollars but I figure it isn't worth it. Only reason why I would bring dollars to the EU is to hope the exchange rate gets back to $1.12 for 1 Euro or better like the 2016 decade low of $1.05-$1.07.

(DELETED THE RANT PART OF THE POST)

[TruthSeeker]

And basically for years, up until late 2018, my mind has continually been trying to figure out ways how to get back there and live comfortably. But now the problem is, I don't think there are any churches in Germany that I could go to that believe the same way that I believe. Lutheranism doesn't count for me.

Why do you seek a building?

Acts 7:48 Howbeit the most High dwells not in temples made with hands;

1 Corinthians 3:16 Know you not that you are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?

As to Martin Luther, he made great strides in exposing the falsities of the Roman Catholic Church leading the way to show that salvation and, consequently, eternal life are not earned by good deeds but are received only as the free gift of God's grace through the believer's faith in Jesus Christ as redeemer from sin.