Being faithful to my future wife.

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tamdrin12
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Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by tamdrin12 »

Hello,

As I have posted elsewhere I am living in Thailand. Soon, I am set to marry a very wonderful Chinese gal. However, living here in Thailand there are a lot of temptations. It is important to me to be faithful to my wife, but I often feel a pull to go to a massage parlor and get a hand job. I'm thinking I might have to leave Thailand to overcome this but I love it here and can't see my life being any better in the US. Do any of you have any advice about how I can be faithful? I'm afraid it's going to be difficult.
Been living abroad for 4 years now. India, Nepal, Taiwan, and Thailand. Currently in Thailand teaching English as my bread and butter.

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MrMan
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by MrMan »

I abstained from sex until I got married in my 20's. My wife did the same. We are both Christians. I abstained out of a desire to be faithful to God. Girlfriends aren't there looking and seeing what you are doing. You might think, 'What she doesn't know won't hurt her.' if you are concerned most with being faithful to her.

We've been monogamous, too. I've traveled a little, including briefly to Thailand, and I work away from home now. I haven't cheated on her. Based on past experience in other areas, there seems to be a pretty good chance that she'd have a dream or word of knowledge after praying if I did cheat and I couldn't keep it secret from her. That could happen if I just let my thoughts stray. I do not think God would 'have my back' in helping me keep sin against him from other people it effects. I'd also be a hypocrite if I lived like that, which is yet another reason. There are a lot of good reasons not to, but mainly I don't want to sin against the Lord.
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Cornfed
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by Cornfed »

This point needs to keep being made. Traditionally it is the female who owes sexual fidelity to the husband, not the other way round. There is no prohibition in any major successful culture of husbands f***ing whores on the side.
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Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by Contrarian Expatriate »

tamdrin12 wrote:
October 31st, 2019, 6:43 pm
Hello,

As I have posted elsewhere I am living in Thailand. Soon, I am set to marry a very wonderful Chinese gal. However, living here in Thailand there are a lot of temptations. It is important to me to be faithful to my wife, but I often feel a pull to go to a massage parlor and get a hand job. I'm thinking I might have to leave Thailand to overcome this but I love it here and can't see my life being any better in the US. Do any of you have any advice about how I can be faithful? I'm afraid it's going to be difficult.
Do what makes you happy. But I would advise that you be open with your wife and explain to her that you either wish to open up your marriage or that you no longer wish you be married.

I do wish men would think longer term before they decide to marry in the first place. If they did that, almost no men would marry at all which is the correct decision anyhow.
MrMan
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by MrMan »

Aside from the immorality issue, they say open relationships do not last long.
yick
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by yick »

Why are you getting married again?

You are probably best off being single, suits your lifestyle - it does for a lot of people.
chanta76
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by chanta76 »

don't get married . You should marry if you just want one p***y for life or if you want kids and family. If not ..and live the single life.
EricaR
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by EricaR »

If you truly love her, you can gradually give up your habits and be faithful to her..If you still feel you are cheating her even you are trying to give up your habits, and you really need to get out of your habits, it's better to talk to her.. She will understand your situation and will endure until you give up them. If you still feel you need to enjoy your life with lot of girls,just stay single
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Cornfed
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by Cornfed »

EricaR wrote:
September 9th, 2020, 10:49 pm
If you truly love her, you can gradually give up your habits and be faithful to her..If you still feel you are cheating her even you are trying to give up your habits, and you really need to get out of your habits, it's better to talk to her.. She will understand your situation and will endure until you give up them. If you still feel you need to enjoy your life with lot of girls,just stay single
A major purpose of marriage is that a husband can be confident the children of the woman are his and he is therefore serving his genetic interests by investing resources in her and them, so the wife owes the husband sexual fidelity, but not the other way around. There is no reason the husband should not f**k whores on the side.
MrMan
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by MrMan »

tamdrin12 wrote:
October 31st, 2019, 6:43 pm
Hello,

As I have posted elsewhere I am living in Thailand. Soon, I am set to marry a very wonderful Chinese gal. However, living here in Thailand there are a lot of temptations. It is important to me to be faithful to my wife, but I often feel a pull to go to a massage parlor and get a hand job. I'm thinking I might have to leave Thailand to overcome this but I love it here and can't see my life being any better in the US. Do any of you have any advice about how I can be faithful? I'm afraid it's going to be difficult.
First of all, to this, I would say..
I often feel a pull to go to a massage parlor and get a hand job.
Don't hang around girls who pull on you like that and don't let them touch you. :)

I'm a Christian and I don't believe in having sex before marriage. I didn't when I was young. I was dating a girl once and I picked up on some cues that indicated that I could basically have my way with her if I wanted to. I also found out she wasn't a virgin. I wanted to marry a virgin, so for those two reasons I figured I'd break up with her and not lead her on. It was nice having a girlfriend living alone as an expat overseas, but I didn't trust myself to behave since I felt like I was about 40% testosterone back then, and it wasn't really fair to her to string her along.

I'd say the main thing is don't go out on the streets where the prostitutes and hand job parlors are. I spent two or three days in Bangkok for work and the parts of the city I was in didn't have girls hanging around trying to pull me into some place. I also avoided this stuff by avoiding going into places that had pretty girls dressed nicely in the front trying to wave me in.
MrMan
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by MrMan »

Cornfed wrote:
September 9th, 2020, 11:08 pm
EricaR wrote:
September 9th, 2020, 10:49 pm
If you truly love her, you can gradually give up your habits and be faithful to her..If you still feel you are cheating her even you are trying to give up your habits, and you really need to get out of your habits, it's better to talk to her.. She will understand your situation and will endure until you give up them. If you still feel you need to enjoy your life with lot of girls,just stay single
A major purpose of marriage is that a husband can be confident the children of the woman are his and he is therefore serving his genetic interests by investing resources in her and them, so the wife owes the husband sexual fidelity, but not the other way around. There is no reason the husband should not f**k whores on the side.
I don't remember your backstory, but are you single or divorced? That's not a good attitude for a married. It's also not good for you to have your little bastards running around, being raised by a whore. If you were married, it wouldn't be fair to your wife for you to give her crabs, HIV, genital warts, syphilis, and a bunch of other diseases most of us have never heard of. Condoms aren't 100% effective and they don't cover all the bits that transfer diseases.
MrMan
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by MrMan »

chanta76 wrote:
November 10th, 2019, 8:13 pm
don't get married . You should marry if you just want one p***y for life or if you want kids and family. If not ..and live the single life.
I was reading a study the other day that married couples have more sex and report higher quality sex than singles. A woman has only one vajajay, sure, but if it's good and you get a steady supply, and you don't have kids out there you don't know about that are being raised by a single mother, doesn't it make sense to direct your sexual energies into a wife?
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Cornfed
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by Cornfed »

MrMan wrote:
September 10th, 2020, 2:29 pm
That's not a good attitude for a married.
For millennia it has been the attitude of most if not all non-loser cultures, so clearly time has proven you wrong.
If you were married, it wouldn't be fair to your wife for you to give her crabs, HIV, genital warts, syphilis, and a bunch of other diseases most of us have never heard of.
Obviously precautions should be taken, but to a certain extent getting diseases from your spouse is just part of life.
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Cornfed
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by Cornfed »

MrMan wrote:
September 10th, 2020, 2:27 pm
I'm a Christian and I don't believe in having sex before marriage.
Females should marry as virgins, but where in Christian scripture does it say that men should marry as virgins?
MrMan
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Re: Being faithful to my future wife.

Post by MrMan »

Cornfed wrote:
September 10th, 2020, 2:38 pm
MrMan wrote:
September 10th, 2020, 2:27 pm
I'm a Christian and I don't believe in having sex before marriage.
Females should marry as virgins, but where in Christian scripture does it say that men should marry as virgins?
Virgins do not have to marry. I Thessalonians 4 warns that God punishes/gets vengence on fornicators.
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