Doctor in need of advice- rejections due to height

[MrPeabody]

Height is very important to most American women and even many foreign women. Being physically attractive or charming will not compensate if you don't meet their height requirement. You will waste endless years of frustration and become demoralized seeking women in the United States. It will drain you like a vampire. As a doctor, you are employable anywhere. I would go to Brazil. The US isn't as lucrative as it use to be for doctors, and you could spend years in lonliness paying off loans to start a practice.

[Falcon]

Guys, it's not the height or the charm or some random hocus pocus. Many Western women will always find something wrong with you no matter what.

If it's not your height, then it's your weight.
If it's not your weight, then it's your looks (facial features).
If it's not your looks, then it's your "confidence."
If it's not your "confidence," then it's your socio-economic background.
If it's not your socio-economic background, then it's your personality.
If it's not your personality, then it's your style of approach.
If it's not your style of approach, it's your ...

You see, the list goes on and on.


A few forum members here have lost plenty of weight, and have gotten taller, more "confident," and/or richer, but claim all that didn't help. Magnum has lost a lot of weight, some guys have tried the uber-"confident" PUA approaches, and there are extremely lonely guys from fabulously wealthy families.

I had no idea what was supposed to be wrong with me that had kept me from dating women in the U.S. Who cares, I simply got out of the country and didn't have to worry about those things anymore.

[AmericanInMexico]

Guys, it's not the height or the charm or some random hocus pocus. Many Western women will always find something wrong with you no matter what.

If it's not your height, then it's your weight.
If it's not your weight, then it's your looks (facial features).
If it's not your looks, then it's your "confidence."
If it's not your "confidence," then it's your socio-economic background.
If it's not your socio-economic background, then it's your personality.
If it's not your personality, then it's your style of approach.
If it's not your style of approach, it's your ...

You see, the list goes on and on.


A few forum members here have lost plenty of weight, and have gotten taller, more "confident," and/or richer, but claim all that didn't help. Magnum has lost a lot of weight, some guys have tried the uber-"confident" PUA approaches, and there are extremely lonely guys from fabulously wealthy families.

I had no idea what was supposed to be wrong with me that had kept me from dating women in the U.S. Who cares, I simply got out of the country and didn't have to worry about those things anymore.

As usual Falcon, your post is spot on. American women seem to be impressed by nothing. No matter how many good traits a man has, she will focus only on the one bad trait. In my case it is the same as the OP, height. I'm a bit taller than he is (I'm 5'9) but for many women that still isn't tall enough; I too was once told by some 5'1 girl that she would not date me since I was "short" and I'm 8 inches taller than her! I think part of the problem is that American society has taught people that "the customer is always right" and to "have it your way"...the result is that Americans have no sense of delayed gratification and therefore little to no tolerance when things don't go 100% as planned. I can still remember being on a field trip and an American girl started screaming simply because she couldn't find her pretzels in her backpack.

ShortDoctor37, you have heard enough users here tell you to go abroad. Start picking out a country now. Falcon is also an Asian-American who has had success with women down here in Mexico; I am a white American who has primarily had success with white Mexicans. You should give Mexico a try or maybe an Asian country, being Asian yourself.

[davewe]

I am 5'6" so I can certainly relate. Yes, I have had some success in the U.S. and been married a time or two to women who were both a bit taller than me. But I always was acutely aware of the problem. Like others have mentioned this is especially obvious in online dating where women who are 5'1" or 5'2" will only date a 6' guy. I had one 5'1" girl say she required a guy at least 6'2".

You will find if you travel that not only are women abroad less concerned about your height, but that in some cultures your confidence will grow because you will seem taller. Hell, in the Philipiines where so many girls are 5' or less, you will feel like a giant

I must admit and I know this sounds petty, that being with my current gf who is at most 5'1" and 98 lbs. is a wonderful experience compared to my 5'8" 165lbs. ex wife.

Go forth young doc!

[Falcon]

And great responses as always, AmericanInMexico.

As for Latin America, honestly they are best for people who are highly fluent in Spanish (or Portuguese). That's pretty much all you need. I would attribute my success to fluency in Spanish more than anything else. Similarly, OTB is a fluent Spanish speaker and has had great success with Mexican and Colombian women. So I'm Asian, AmericanInMexico is white, and OTB is black. This shows how Latinas are willing, if not enthusiastic, to date men of any background as long as the guy speaks good Spanish and is knowledgeable about her culture.

Otherwise, Southeast Asia countries are excellent destinations for non-Spanish speakers.

[clearbluesky]

Hello,

I am a new reader of happierabroad and I have to say that I really enjoy the frankness found on these forums. Winston and co don't mess around. I am a 37 year old surgeon of cantonese descent (however I was adopted by a white family and have an English last name). I am also only 5'5 on a good day. Not to sound shallow, but I had always envisioned being able to attract women with my status and salary (which is good, but by no means 7 figures). However my height seems to be an incredibly huge dealbreaker. I believe I am fairly confident, as I would have to be in my line of work so everytime someone says "Dude it's your confidence," I think they are straight bsing. True story, I had once asked out a nurse who I thought was one of the friendliest people I had ever known in a hospital setting. She turned to me and said, "maybe if you perform surgery on yourself to get taller." And she was 5'3...

My question to all of you is should I continue to try to get women in the States, and if so how should I go about it to maximize my success? I don't have much free time and it's damn annoying coming home looking for some interaction and finding nothing but loneliness.

Hi,

Nice to meet you my fellow surgeon. I am in a similar situation as you. I am 37y/o also. I am a surgeon/urologist for the USAF. Currently stationed in Germany for the past 3 years, but headed home to northern california this August (unfortunately). I am the same height as you. Although I wear heel lifts to reach 5'7". It won't matter what you do in the US, don't change to fit other people's/society's unrealistic expectations. Go where you will be appreciated. The guys on HA know what they are talking about. Ever since I was involuntarily sent overseas, I have come to realize how great women overseas really can be. I personally prefer Asian women, so I have been flying over to China every 3 months to date a bunch of really great/beautiful and sweet chinese girls that I meet online at Asianbeauties.com. It's very expensive though (about $2000/month for letters and chatting), but you're a single surgeon, so it should not be a problem. If you are really serious about finding someone, I can help you as well. I have made some connections with the girls in these matchmaking agencies since I have been there so often. I love the travel and have been all over Europe and China (20 countries in past 3 years). I spend about $40,000 a year on international dating, but I am serious about my search for the right woman, so spending that kind of money is not an issue for me. Besides, that is pocket change for a civilian GS like yourself, right? Trust me, I know exactly what you guys make on the civilian world, which is a hell of a lot more than what uncle Sam pays me. And you guys don't get deployed to a nasty sandbox either. Besides, I enjoy fancy hotels and site-seeing, so I make it my vacation as well and learn about other cultures and countries. If you want, message me privately and we can chat more. In fact, I will be headed to china again this July. Maybe you would like to go with me?

[ShortDoctor37]

Thank you for all of your replies guys. I will look into travelling to perhaps Eastern Europe/Russia. Right now my finances are tight since I just finished residency and the loans are piling up. Haha I honestly wish I had made an agreement with the military to help with the repayment and also maybe get sent to another part of the country. I'm going to give American women the old college try one more time just to reaffirm what I probably already know. I think part of the problem is I went for liberal free-thinking women, who I just realized are perhaps the most hypocritical shallow women in America.

[ExpeditionSailor]

For what it's worth, I'm 5'6" tall and can't get a date to save my life. Not online, not anywhere. With the exception of overseas online dating sites, where I usually get a fair bit of interest from women in the Philippines, who, if they're not scammers, are probably only interested in me because I might, like any other hard-up Western male, rescue them from poverty and take them to the land of milk and honey.

So I know what you're experiencing. As a result, I spend most of my time at home if I'm not working and rarely venture out unless I need to.

Needless to say, a lot of the time I feel pretty angry about having to live in a world where I am essentially excluded because of my height and my looks.

[jamesbond]

I think part of the problem is I went for liberal free-thinking women, who I just realized are perhaps the most hypocritical shallow women in America.

You hit the nail on the head. Liberal women are the most feminist type of women on the planet. Avoid them like the plague!

I have heard of guys who traveled to eastern Europe and Russia say, they saw lot's of guys holding hands with girls that were taller than them! I guess the women in that part of the world are not as picky about what guys they date. If they like the guy, even if he is shorter than them, they will still date him!

With American women, they have so many requirements when it comes to men, that it's ridiculous! Some women in the US, have more requirements than some employers do!

[ExpeditionSailor]

I think part of the problem is I went for liberal free-thinking women, who I just realized are perhaps the most hypocritical shallow women in America.

You hit the nail on the head. Liberal women are the most feminist type of women on the planet. Avoid them like the plague!

I have heard of guys who traveled to eastern Europe and Russia say, they saw lot's of guys holding hands with girls that were taller than them! I guess the women in that part of the world are not as picky about what guys they date. If they like the guy, even if he is shorter than them, they will still date him!

With American women, they have so many requirements when it comes to men, that it's ridiculous! Some women in the US, have more requirements than some employers do!

The way I look at the 'requirements' issue is that it's a cover, a smokescreen for fear of real intimacy. I would submit that the vast majority of women now do not know how to really relate to men. This is a direct result of feminism, which has brainwashed women into believing that men are absolutely the enemy. After all, it's really hard to be intimate with your enemy, isn't it? Unless your idea of 'intimacy' involves getting up close and personal with the enemy and slitting their throats.

Surely women must know that by throwing up a list of endless and unattainable requirements, they're going to shrink the pool of available candidates down to such a small size that their hope of realistically finding a partner is going to be slim to none. But I see this kind of behaviour happening in online dating sites all the time. The women think that the long list of requirements is gojng to somehow filter in a top-drawer guy. The top-drawer guys are just going to laugh and say, "Get real", even if the woman with ultra-high standards is a bombshell.

One other reason why women put out laundry lists of requirements, obviously, is that they have been conned into believing they really are 'all that and a bag of chips too'. I mean, they must believe that to be true, because they saw it on TV, and everything you see on TV is true, right?

[onezero4u]

hmmmm

something is missing from the equation here...

a surgeons salary and prestige trumps shortness...(not including midgets)

but 5'5" is not freakishly short...just under average and not that short compared to asians in general.

are you dressing well, being somewhat social & charming, hygiene and grooming is good to go ?????

[ShortDoctor37]

My hair is cut every three weeks. Short on the sides and back, and medium on top (I can't really describe a haircut well haha). Also no problems far as I can tell on the hygiene front. I would like to think I am moderately handsome, or at the very least not hideous and I work out about 3-4 times a week. I don't know if this matters or not, but most of the women I try to pursue are white, whereas I am Asian. The Asian girls I have pursued in the past were either in my class or worked as residents and in some cases nurses. For the most part, I found the halfway attractive Asian girls either went for the doctors who were already studs (tall, dark and handsome) or went for a very "rugged" white guy who they would try to "civilize" (their words, not mine). I am not saying I never had any options available to me, but at the risk of sounding shallow, they were mostly either overweight or really did not care about their appearance even at a basic level (noticeable hair on the lip, BO, etc).

The white women I have pursued are all career oriented types (aged 27-34), which I guess was a stupid decision on my part. I had thought that since they also had relatively busy schedules and careers they were dedicated to, we would have something in common. But that also probably is what makes my earning potential and "status" less attractive to them. They definitely want it all. A great career and a trophy husband. Actually scratch that, I can't honestly say what they want. I have tried to guess and adapt in the past, but it never really works. I like the "girl next door" type, but most of them are waiting for that nerdy-but-not-really prince to sweep them off their feet.

[Iawesome60]

Hello,

I am a new reader of happierabroad and I have to say that I really enjoy the frankness found on these forums. Winston and co don't mess around. I am a 37 year old surgeon of cantonese descent (however I was adopted by a white family and have an English last name). I am also only 5'5 on a good day. Not to sound shallow, but I had always envisioned being able to attract women with my status and salary (which is good, but by no means 7 figures). However my height seems to be an incredibly huge dealbreaker. I believe I am fairly confident, as I would have to be in my line of work so everytime someone says "Dude it's your confidence," I think they are straight bsing. True story, I had once asked out a nurse who I thought was one of the friendliest people I had ever known in a hospital setting. She turned to me and said, "maybe if you perform surgery on yourself to get taller." And she was 5'3...

My question to all of you is should I continue to try to get women in the States, and if so how should I go about it to maximize my success? I don't have much free time and it's damn annoying coming home looking for some interaction and finding nothing but loneliness.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVpmDsHF ... ure=fvwrel[/youtube]



These videos show that shorter men can find a woman. Also, I know short men who have dated and/or married tall women. For example, Kevin Hart married a woman taller than him and he is 5'2". Just because you are 5'5" does not mean you cannot score with women. I know you can score with women. I promise!

[magnum]

Guys, it's not the height or the charm or some random hocus pocus. Many Western women will always find something wrong with you no matter what.

If it's not your height, then it's your weight.
If it's not your weight, then it's your looks (facial features).
If it's not your looks, then it's your "confidence."
If it's not your "confidence," then it's your socio-economic background.
If it's not your socio-economic background, then it's your personality.
If it's not your personality, then it's your style of approach.
If it's not your style of approach, it's your ...

You see, the list goes on and on.


A few forum members here have lost plenty of weight, and have gotten taller, more "confident," and/or richer, but claim all that didn't help. Magnum has lost a lot of weight, some guys have tried the uber-"confident" PUA approaches, and there are extremely lonely guys from fabulously wealthy families.

I had no idea what was supposed to be wrong with me that had kept me from dating women in the U.S. Who cares, I simply got out of the country and didn't have to worry about those things anymore.

I used to be 300 lbs, now I'm standing at around 169 to 175, ripped by American standards or at least in shape standing at about 6'0", and guess what, if I'm lucky I might get a girl to look my way once in a blue moon, but that's about it.


I'm honestly about 1 point above average in the face department or average, I try to be ultra realistic about it, as I suggest you do, because once you come to terms with your pride, and realize that you can't get a girl that's even ON THE LEVEL of your attraction and worth, you'll soon come to the conclusion America is a empty market for men.


Right away you need to do 4 things, and this isn't pro American feminist piddle, this works for any country.


1. exercise

2. dress nicely

3. nice hair cut

4. maintain a good diet

And that's literally it, the rest should always be WHO you are, and find a woman who can respect that, and trust me, America isn't the place for it, when is the last time you met anyone who was REAL in America thus how can you be your self when everyone is too busy being fake around you.


in may I hit 27 years old, and I realized if I was to stay in this country, I could literally go my entire life alone if I didn't change myself to fit in to some kind of contrast America thinks I should be, and if I can't WILL my self to be the perfect rich guy, I have to accept I'm screw in to dating a fat thankles woman who's so desperate to be lazy she decided to "settle" for me as my worth is zero in America, and yes the fat girl would be settling for me.

The sad part is, I hate to tell you, I've put forth more effort than anyone I've ever known.....to get women...I've done everything almost to get them, I got in shape lost weight....I got a six pack from being 300 lbs.....I didn't attempt any one tactic that much, because honestly, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize you'll get the same results 90% of the time, and the 10% of the time you don't, it will be from a girl you honestly didn't want to go out with in the first place.

you see all American women settle for who they are with, men are the lucky ones, NO MATTER WHAT, even if he's almost perfect, he's lucky SHE allowed him to be with HER, even if he's in perfect shape and she's fat, even if he's rich and she is jobless.

And some other things you need to know.

In America unless you know a group of friends with single females who are comfortable with you, you'll mostly get rejected if your not a model with a rich bmw.

Unless you have girl friend who regarded you as high status, they'll never recommend you to quality friends, instead they'll try to hook you up with ugly/desperate friends, oddly enough I once attempted to get a Chinese co worker to hook me up with a fellow Englishman student looking for a boy friend, she gave me 2 contacts, both ugly, and both hardly gave me the time of day, so see....even when they've come to America it doesn't take them long to catch on.

The best in america you can hope to accomplish is be a sugar daddy if your happen to have the cash, but if you want a relationship, your in the wrong country.


You need to ask your self what your priority are in life, if it's money, stay where you are and forget about women, let money be your mistress.

If it's a relationship, seek out a job in another country, find a girl in that country, and start a family with a woman who will love YOU and not your pay check or your "support" but what you really have to offer from inside your heart and mind, not just your "status" and wallet.

The only reason I haven't left this country is I have not been able to save enough to for the life of me to get the hell out....still stuck at 3k even....god I need to get out..

Most of all remember when you read these forums, they are opinions and each one of us has a different background and life experience, never take anything any one person says as fact and always cross reference it with not only your experience but other posts on these forums, one must seek truth happiness and the correct path to success not just fallow words that make them feel happy in the moment and best about the good or bad choices they've made.

use the forum as a tool to success not a place of loathing and pride boost/destroyer.

I hope you find happiness.




Oh and to the rest of the forum, I've had problems with my account for whatever reason it got activated and I didn't even know it, so now I'm back.

[zboy1]

Welcome back Magnum!