Conversion to Islam

[Shemp]

I have officially decided to call myself a Muslim henceforth, since these are the only people with the balls to stand up to both feminism and the covid-19 quarantines. As I understand, the 3 things a Muslim absolutely must do are:

1) Be circumcised. I was circumcised as a baby by the scam doctors trying to run up the medical bill, so easy decision for me.

2) Confess "There is one God and Allah is his name." I have no idea who or what is meant by the word God or how many Gods there are, whether zero, one, two, three hundred or infinity. Precisely because of my ignorance, making this confession no problem. As for the name, "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." In other changing the name of God from God to Allah makes no difference to the substance, so again no problem.

3) Confess "'Mohammed is Allah's prophet." This confession I actually agree with. Mohamed was inspired with religious feeling, so he is a prophet, and his rules are less stupid than those of the Christians. In particular, none of this foolishness about giving ALL your money to the poor, but rather just a little charity required, which is reasonable, and no foolishness about turning the other cheek either. Mohammed also prohibited alcohol, which I already avoid because it lowers testosterone. Now I will have a good religious reason to refuse vodka toasts in Ukraine.

There are supposedly lots of other rules for devout Muslims, which I will ignore. For example, I'm certainly not taking a pilgrimage to Mecca. And forget this idea of eating and drinking only between sundown and sunset during Ramadan. Instead I will eat once a day, as I always do, and drink water only. Regarding the prohibition on interest, I think this is a good rule for unsecured personal debt, such as credit card debt or student loans. Not so good regarding secured debt (mortgages on real estate, automobile loans) or business loans. Mohammed lived in primitive times when the only debt was unsecured personal debt, so his prohibition should be understood in that context.

[Yohan]

.....Muslim henceforth, since these are the only people with the balls to stand up to both feminism and the covid-19 quarantines

No idea what Islam did about the Covid-19...sounds more the opposite to me...

Pakistan arrests doctors protesting for coronavirus medical gear
Dozens arrested in Quetta for demanding protective kits for front-line health workers fighting coronavirus.

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/04/ ... 23621.html


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About feminism, it should be noticed that Buddhism is also not offering much to women...

There are many MGTOWs who are not Muslims and also stand up against feminism.

[Shemp]

.....Muslim henceforth, since these are the only people with the balls to stand up to both feminism and the covid-19 quarantines

No idea what Islam did about the Covid-19...

Muslims in Germany and France are ignoring the quarantine, police don't dare to arrest them, and everyone knows they will riot if forced to stay home during Ramadan. It's pretty clear the native Europeans have all become weakling soy boys and masculined feminists. Only the Muslims dare resist.

I'm just going by gut feel now, imagining how I'll feel when I tell people I'm a Muslim. A few years ago I would have laughed, sincev they were a despised underclass. But now they are the only people in Europe I can respect. So far I feel good about my conversion. Like I suggested, I'm going to be a moderate Muslim and only obey the Islamic rules I think are reasonable. Most educated Turks are moderate Muslims. Muslims in Bulgaria and Albania are also moderate.

As for Muslims in Pakistan and Buddhists in Asia, I don't care. I'm concerned about Europe only. Buddhists in Europe are mostly cowardly obedient leftist hippies.

[HappyGuy]

I have officially decided to call myself a Muslim henceforth

Why stop there, why not take the plunge and start a new life in Saudi Arabia? viewtopic.php?f=26&t=42093

[Cornfed]

But won't you have to stop renting whores? As I understand it, in Islam you are only supposed to have sex with your wives and bondmaids.

[Yohan]

Muslims in Germany and France are ignoring the quarantine, police don't dare to arrest them, and everyone knows they will riot if forced to stay home during Ramadan. It's pretty clear the native Europeans have all become weakling soy boys and masculined feminists. Only the Muslims dare resist.

This is the result, if you resist quarantine....

https://www.yahoo.com/news/42-thai-retu ... 50381.html

BANGKOK (AP) — Health authorities in Thailand say more than half the people returning from a trip to a mass religious meeting in Indonesia have been found to be infected with the coronavirus.

Forty-two of the 76 all-male Muslim pilgrims who arrived on a charter flight on Monday were found to be carrying the virus when they were tested on Tuesday.

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The Muslim group had traveled to Sulawesi island in Indonesia on March 17 to attend a ceremony organized by Jamaat Tabligh, a Muslim missionary movement.

More than 8,000 pilgrims reportedly had arrived at the meeting site by the time officials canceled the event, citing the health hazard.

The March 19-22 gathering at a boarding school in a rural area in South Sulawesi province was canceled after it became clear that a similar event held three weeks earlier in Malaysia was the source of more than 600 infections.

[Yohan]

I have officially decided to call myself a Muslim henceforth

Why stop there, why not take the plunge and start a new life in Saudi Arabia?

It's interesting to see that so many Muslims prefer to live with the infidels in Western countries and I ask myself why.
There is no shortage of Muslim countries, there are about 50 or more of them in Asia and Africa.

On the other side of the story, Muslims are not known to be very welcoming to infidels in their own countries.

[Shemp]

But won't you have to stop renting whores? As I understand it, in Islam you are only supposed to have sex with your wives and bondmaids.

You can marry the whore before sex then divorce her afterwards. Ulemas (Islamic legal scholars) have found authorization for this in the Koran, provided you say the right words during the marriage and divorce procedures, both of which can be performed privately. "I divorce thee! I divorce thee! I divorce thee!" is the authorized incantation for divorce. Not sure about marriage.

[Cornfed]

But won't you have to stop renting whores? As I understand it, in Islam you are only supposed to have sex with your wives and bondmaids.

You can marry the whore before sex then divorce her afterwards. Ulemas (Islamic legal scholars) have found authorization for this in the Koran, provided you say the right words during the marriage and divorce procedures, both of which can be performed privately. "I divorce thee! I divorce thee! I divorce thee!" is the authorized incantation for divorce. Not sure about marriage.

I was of course aware of this but I really didn't think you were going to resort to this degree of pathetic lameness. Of course we know you are not in fact resort to this degree of pathetic lameness. You just intend to ignore Islam in this case.

[Yohan]

But won't you have to stop renting whores? As I understand it, in Islam you are only supposed to have sex with your wives and bondmaids.

You can marry the whore before sex then divorce her afterwards. Ulemas (Islamic legal scholars) have found authorization for this in the Koran, provided you say the right words during the marriage and divorce procedures, both of which can be performed privately. "I divorce thee! I divorce thee! I divorce thee!" is the authorized incantation for divorce. Not sure about marriage.

Legally seen, a temporary marriage is possible in Shia-Islam (Iran) but not so easy, not sure if it is allowed in Sunni Islam.

For example, you are a Shia-Muslim man from abroad, want to study or doing business in Iran and intend to leave Iran within one year and do not consider to meet this woman again...

In Iran the rules in such a case are about the following, as far as I know:

There are various pre-conditions to meet or otherwise both the man and the girl and her guardian too can be accused and punished of prostitution.

A woman who has already a criminal history of prostitution cannot enter a temporary marriage agreement.

You have to get the permission of her custodian (might be the father) and the girl must also agree.
The girl must not be married of course.

You have to pay 'mahr' - money which belong to her and not to her custodian in advance, it is not refundable and after divorce she cannot marry again for several months according to Islamic Law (because of pregnancy issues) and you have to pay her this waiting time too (about 4 months I think) - in case of birth of a child, the child will be given to the father.

Unlike a full marriage contract the girl must be a Shia-Muslim (regular Islamic marriage accepts also a Christian or Jewish girl without conversion)

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I can only advice you choose the right Islamic group in the right Islamic country and keep your wallet ready. A temporary marriage in Islam legally approved is NOT such an easy and cheap task - expect also communication issues in such countries.

How many languages can you speak?
In which language do you expect to talk to those people in Islamic countries? Arabic? Farsi?

[Shemp]

You guys are overthinking this. Plenty of whores in Dubai, Istanbul, etc. Muslims in Bulgaria drink alcohol. And of course Christians don't give all their money to the poor or turn the other cheek. Religion is like a buffet, you take the things you like and ignore the rest. What I like about Islam is that, at least in Europe, Muslims are the only people standing up to the tyrannical governments. I don't plan to become a terrorist myself, but this covid-19 lockdown is making me see that Muslim terrorists are the good guys. Converting to their religion is a way of showing support.

[Spencer]

I thought you sex kung fu man never let sperm out, what happen, now are you possible find super white pure virgin north africa middle east since you big money man? so envy

[MrMan]

I hear that Muslims believe in the afterlife, they all walk some narrow plank over Hell to get to the other side. They all fall in, at least for a time. Maybe people who die in battle get an exception, which is why the radicals blow themselves to smitherines.

But more or less, the belief, as I heard it told, was that all Muslims go to Hell. That's something Muslims are pretty much in agreement with conservative Christians about. And going to Hell is a pretty big drawback to joining a religion. Since I believe in Jesus, and He died for my sins, I am reconciled to God through Him, so that's a big advantage over Islam. The Qur'an actually endorses the Torah, Psalms, and the Gospel. According to the Qur'an, we are supposed to follow them. But later, when people who actually read them compared them to the Bible, they weren't the same, so some Muslims came up with the theory that they had been corrupted. But they say the same thing they did in the time of Muhammad, so this claim doesn't hold water.

If you steal something and get caught and brought to court in Islam, they are supposed to chop your hand off, too. I read a hadith about a woman brought to Muhammad for stealing a sheet. She asked to be forgiven and not to lose her hand. He told her when her hand was removed, she would be as innocent as she was the day she was born. You'd better not take a pen from the bank and forget to take it back.

Other people have covered the no-sex-out-side of marriage, except for slaves rule. Most prostitutes probably won't want to marry you. Since slavery is illegal, you'd be limited to four wives. If you decided to get a Muslim wife, she might be 'circumcised', which would just be a lot less fun. Muslim men are told to deny disobedient wives their bed before they beat them. Denying your wife sex is also no fun.

Also, if the developed world ever wises up and realizes the political correctness is too extreme and decides to give Muslims a harder time because it is good for public safety, then they may put you on their watchlist. In the future, they may be able to detect you coming at the airport with a computer that knows everyone on earth. So you could get targeted with extra searches at the airport.

[fschmidt]

I have officially decided to call myself a Muslim henceforth,

Do you attend mosque? (I do.)
Do you pray daily? (I do.)
Do you give charity. (I do.)

I am not Muslim, but Islam is the most promising religion today so it deserves my support.

[MrMan]

I have officially decided to call myself a Muslim henceforth,

Do you attend mosque? (I do.)
Do you pray daily? (I do.)
Do you give charity. (I do.)

I am not Muslim, but Islam is the most promising religion today so it deserves my support.

If you let slip that you are not a Muslim and someone hears that you are a Jew, how will that go over?