Success! It works! My report from Cebu

[ladislav]

Please read this:

http://www.orientexpat.com/forum/22217- ... delusions/

[Mr S]

If you are a Westerner and looking for a decent place to stay in Cebu go to Kiwi Lodge: http://www.kiwilodgecebu.com/

It's cheaper than most of the other mid range hotels and this place is owned and run by a Kiwi so they have good Western food and a decent bar with a pub atmosphere. It's in a good location and no one gives you a hard time bringing back guests.

[Fenix]

Congratulations! We need more success stories like this! Are you going to post some pictures of you guys together?

[well-informed]

I like hearing stories like this, congrats man

[steve55]

Wow Steve. Wow. Don't you think you are rushing this? You gotta take more time. This is a big decision. What's the rush? If you do get married, make sure you do it in any country other than the Philippines.

I don't understand something though. There are many girls in the Philippines who are petite and sweet, like your girl. They are everywhere. What makes her any different or special from the rest? I don't get it.

What if she goes to the states, and then wants her kid to follow? What will you do? Do you mind living with a kid that's not yours?

And what will your parents think of her?

Wow, that's ironic Winston. As far as I know, my situation is no different than Darren's. Why do you say that about mine but not his. Lol. If I correctly recall what darren told me, he's only casually been chatting with his girl for a few months and decided to engage with her after only 4 , maybe 5 days of seeing her in person. How is Darren and my situation different??? Why would you say that about me but not Darren . Just curious on that is all.

[Winston]

Wow Steve. Wow. Don't you think you are rushing this? You gotta take more time. This is a big decision. What's the rush? If you do get married, make sure you do it in any country other than the Philippines.

I don't understand something though. There are many girls in the Philippines who are petite and sweet, like your girl. They are everywhere. What makes her any different or special from the rest? I don't get it.

What if she goes to the states, and then wants her kid to follow? What will you do? Do you mind living with a kid that's not yours?

And what will your parents think of her?

Wow, that's ironic Winston. As far as I know, my situation is no different than Darren's. Why do you say that about mine but not his. Lol. If I correctly recall what darren told me, he's only casually been chatting with his girl for a few months and decided to engage with her after only 4 , maybe 5 days of seeing her in person. How is Darren and my situation different??? Why would you say that about me but not Darren . Just curious on that is all.

Well I didn't know how long Darren was chatting with his girl, so my information about his situation was incomplete. Plus, I've known you longer so I feel more comfortable asking you such personal questions than I do him. I haven't known him that long, so I am going to be more polite with him of course, whereas with you, I've been talking to you for a long time, so I feel more comfortable being more blunt with you and asking you blunt questions. Does that make sense?

So please don't take it personally. But these are legit questions, which I'm sure your other friends and family have asked too, and I'm sure you've pondered them in your mind already, right?

So you have no fear of marriage? Have you ever been married before? Is this what you really want in your heart, or do you want it cause society says you're incomplete without it? You don't mind losing your freedom like that? These are big questions you should reflect and meditate on.

But I'm sure if she is sincere, sweet and has a good heart with good intentions, nothing could go wrong. You said that you knew other cases of men marrying their Filipinas right away and having it work out right?

[steve55]

Wow Steve. Wow. Don't you think you are rushing this? You gotta take more time. This is a big decision. What's the rush? If you do get married, make sure you do it in any country other than the Philippines.

I don't understand something though. There are many girls in the Philippines who are petite and sweet, like your girl. They are everywhere. What makes her any different or special from the rest? I don't get it.

What if she goes to the states, and then wants her kid to follow? What will you do? Do you mind living with a kid that's not yours?

And what will your parents think of her?

Wow, that's ironic Winston. As far as I know, my situation is no different than Darren's. Why do you say that about mine but not his. Lol. If I correctly recall what darren told me, he's only casually been chatting with his girl for a few months and decided to engage with her after only 4 , maybe 5 days of seeing her in person. How is Darren and my situation different??? Why would you say that about me but not Darren . Just curious on that is all.

Well I didn't know how long Darren was chatting with his girl, so my information about his situation was incomplete. Plus, I've known you longer so I feel more comfortable asking you such personal questions than I do him. I haven't known him that long, so I am going to be more polite with him of course, whereas with you, I've been talking to you for a long time, so I feel more comfortable being more blunt with you and asking you blunt questions. Does that make sense?

So please don't take it personally. But these are legit questions, which I'm sure your other friends and family have asked too, and I'm sure you've pondered them in your mind already, right?

So you have no fear of marriage? Have you ever been married before? Is this what you really want in your heart, or do you want it cause society says you're incomplete without it? You don't mind losing your freedom like that? These are big questions you should reflect and meditate on.

But I'm sure if she is sincere, sweet and has a good heart with good intentions, nothing could go wrong. You said that you knew other cases of men marrying their Filipinas right away and having it work out right?

Yes, it seems that half of the guys who marry a foreign lady do so only after 1 or two visits. My x filipina fiance was proposed to by her american online boyfriend on his first visit. Yes, he already had a ring in tow before he even met her in person! They are still happily married 4 years later! As crazy as it sounds , IT WORKS! How do you explain arranged marriages. They do it the same way. And arranged marriages have a similar 20% divorce rate too. So, those guys who proclaim that is crazy thing to do are wrong. These quick engagements are successful. There are tons and tons of cases where guys do that. The average guy gets 2 weeks vacation time per year. So, he is not going to spend 3-4 years in courting a girl just for the sake of getting more face to face time. Most of these guys who do this are ready, I mean REALLY READY for marriage and they want it so they make a decision pretty fast, often in one trip. That's how it often goes. And it works out most of the time.

And yes, I wholeheartedly believe in marriage. But only marriage with a foreign woman or foreign born woman. Marrying an american woman is just asking for trouble or like playing russian roulette.

I believe marriage is a sacred thing and is 100% for me. Winston, I know you have all these logical reasons why you don't believe in marriage. Ive read your reasons. I am nothing like you on this matter. I am 1000% opposite of you on this. Ive been trying to get married since I was 30 but because I wont just marry anyone, Ive not yet had success. I'm still picky and selective. Better to be single than miserably married. I believe my life is not complete and not a success until I am married with a family. I believe in the family unit, I believe in the meaningfulness and the value and sanctity of marriage. I want a wife, not a girlfriend, Having a wife is extremely very very important to me. You can rant all you want about why marriage is a bad deal. Speak for yourself. I am not you. I want to be married more than anything else in life. : ) Just like the 9/11 stuff, nothing you say will convince me otherwise. I know you see that as being closed minded,...fine, call me closed minded if you wish. : ) I know what I want in life and no one will ever convince me otherwise. 0% chance in doing so.

In a nutshell, having a girlfriend means nothing to me. Having a wife is meaningful and ads value and meaning to my life.

[Winston]

Wow check out what Steve told me about Cebu!

When you get done with R & R in Tawaian, you need to check out Cebu. Maybe its too expensive there? But Cebu is REALLY NICE! Even I could live there if I had to. Its like the US in cleanliness and orderliness. No scum bag types. All of Cebu felt really positive. Its hard to believe its really part of the Philipines.Maybe you can find a cheap place there?

[leavingusa]

I think I read the average marriage in US is like 7 years so I think these declarations of victory are premature.

Man this is kind of hard to read because it seems that some guys don't learn no matter how many beatings they receive.

You have to understand that women are not different anywhere, it's just their options are so limited. Just today I'm reading how some foreign women are starting to get more picky about age because their economy is doing better in relation to the US.

You take them out of that pool and they get exposed to this culture it's only a matter of time. They'll find out you're not a movie star, learn about hip hop culture and all that other party bullshit and how low on the totem pole you really are. Then they'll find out everything they stand to gain from dumping you. Look at girls from the same country who spent significant time in the US - that is gonna be your girl in 10 years.

The only places where age doesn't matter is where women are poor and don't live in a feminist society, they care about your age and when they find out what's up in America it's more likely than not that you are gonna get hosed with CS and Alimony.

I'm not trying to piss on anyone's parade but you can end up in jail if you can't pay CS or alimony, it's serious. And these days that's a real concern even for middle class guys.

I don't think people should bring girls back to this shithole but that's only my humble opinion, sorry. One thing I've learned in life is that women are very good actors, I don't think most guys here have good enough judgement in these matters because they are nice guys with a trusting nature who will marry the first person who treats them like a human being. They desperately want the fairy tale to be true.

I've dated several asian women who recently came from poor countries and one thing I've noticed is the longer you date them the more real they become. Even though they are more attracted to white guys the end it's all about babies and money, you are only the vehicle to get them there.

[swincor]

You have to understand that women are not different anywhere, it's just their options are so limited.

That's really the key to good behavior from women: limiting their options, and increasing dependency on men. Societies don't produce good women by giving them lots of freedom and independence. Ultimately, they need to be kept on some sort of leash, and men are the ones who have to hold that leash.

[goku714]

Congrats man I'm happy for the both of you

[DarrenFW]

I think I read the average marriage in US is like 7 years so I think these declarations of victory are premature.

Man this is kind of hard to read because it seems that some guys don't learn no matter how many beatings they receive.

You have to understand that women are not different anywhere, it's just their options are so limited. Just today I'm reading how some foreign women are starting to get more picky about age because their economy is doing better in relation to the US.

You take them out of that pool and they get exposed to this culture it's only a matter of time. They'll find out you're not a movie star, learn about hip hop culture and all that other party bullshit and how low on the totem pole you really are. Then they'll find out everything they stand to gain from dumping you. Look at girls from the same country who spent significant time in the US - that is gonna be your girl in 10 years.

The only places where age doesn't matter is where women are poor and don't live in a feminist society, they care about your age and when they find out what's up in America it's more likely than not that you are gonna get hosed with CS and Alimony.

I'm not trying to piss on anyone's parade but you can end up in jail if you can't pay CS or alimony, it's serious. And these days that's a real concern even for middle class guys.

I don't think people should bring girls back to this shithole but that's only my humble opinion, sorry. One thing I've learned in life is that women are very good actors, I don't think most guys here have good enough judgement in these matters because they are nice guys with a trusting nature who will marry the first person who treats them like a human being. They desperately want the fairy tale to be true.

I've dated several asian women who recently came from poor countries and one thing I've noticed is the longer you date them the more real they become. Even though they are more attracted to white guys the end it's all about babies and money, you are only the vehicle to get them there.

Noted.

I really like this girl and I'm planning on filing the papers for the K1 Fiance Visa.

The thing about this is that when one ventures into Global Dating and by that I mean true global dating, not global whoring, in order to see the girl again, you either have to marry them or carry on a long distance relationship by going back to their country over and over. They can't come to the USA without a Visa.
So its a tough choice made with a week or two exposure to the girl.

[DarrenFW]

You take them out of that pool and they get exposed to this culture it's only a matter of time. They'll find out you're not a movie star, learn about hip hop culture and all that other party bullshit and how low on the totem pole you really are. Then they'll find out everything they stand to gain from dumping you. Look at girls from the same country who spent significant time in the US - that is gonna be your girl in 10 years.

Steve's research refutes this. He found that a study by the Philippine Government showed around a 20% divorce rate.

[leavingusa]

If someone told me I had
a 20% chance of the living death that is divorce in America, I would run the other way.

And divorce is not the only problem. marriage here severly limits your ability to deal with your wife. If she turns into an absolute bitch what are you going to do? Divorce her? Just because you are not divorced doesn't mean you aren't perma-f***ed.

I'm hearing too many stories of what Americanized Filipinas are like not to mention I know many Americanized foreign girls from other ethnic groups.

Remember, she doesn't have to have sex with you, she can cheat on you all she wants, if you raise your voice it's DV and she can have you thrown out of the house. She can have boyfriends, let her daughters boyfriends live in the house, etc. and there's not a whole lot you can do about any of these things in America.

Just sayin' but good luck...

[leavingusa]

I think I read the average marriage in US is like 7 years so I think these declarations of victory are premature.

Man this is kind of hard to read because it seems that some guys don't learn no matter how many beatings they receive.

You have to understand that women are not different anywhere, it's just their options are so limited. Just today I'm reading how some foreign women are starting to get more picky about age because their economy is doing better in relation to the US.

You take them out of that pool and they get exposed to this culture it's only a matter of time. They'll find out you're not a movie star, learn about hip hop culture and all that other party bullshit and how low on the totem pole you really are. Then they'll find out everything they stand to gain from dumping you. Look at girls from the same country who spent significant time in the US - that is gonna be your girl in 10 years.

The only places where age doesn't matter is where women are poor and don't live in a feminist society, they care about your age and when they find out what's up in America it's more likely than not that you are gonna get hosed with CS and Alimony.

I'm not trying to piss on anyone's parade but you can end up in jail if you can't pay CS or alimony, it's serious. And these days that's a real concern even for middle class guys.

I don't think people should bring girls back to this shithole but that's only my humble opinion, sorry. One thing I've learned in life is that women are very good actors, I don't think most guys here have good enough judgement in these matters because they are nice guys with a trusting nature who will marry the first person who treats them like a human being. They desperately want the fairy tale to be true.

I've dated several asian women who recently came from poor countries and one thing I've noticed is the longer you date them the more real they become. Even though they are more attracted to white guys the end it's all about babies and money, you are only the vehicle to get them there.

Noted.

I really like this girl and I'm planning on filing the papers for the K1 Fiance Visa.

The thing about this is that when one ventures into Global Dating and by that I mean true global dating, not global whoring, in order to see the girl again, you either have to marry them or carry on a long distance relationship by going back to their country over and over. They can't come to the USA without a Visa.
So its a tough choice made with a week or two exposure to the girl.

Or live in their country where the laws favor you, to me that is the whole point of the excercise. Marry her in her home country.

I'm thinking maybe I can make money in one part of the world for part of the year then live in her home country the other part and either bring her along to work or have her keep the house while I'm gone.

That way I could provide a very high standard of living but I'm leary of leaving her alone. The only place I could think to make the kind of money I want in IT outside America is the ME and that seems dicey proposition to bring a woman there for a few months even.

Still if it was possible I'd prefer it to bringing her to America for a minute.