Is the UK the closest European country to the USA?
Posted: November 13th, 2010, 3:57 pm
I just wanted to say that a lot the features of the US social environment talked about on this site also apply to the UK, particularly the closed, cliquey bubble mentality. Some of you may not agree with this statement however, there are some issues in the UK social environment that have been a major irritation for me.
Firstly, I can confidently say we too have a 'no talking to strangers' rule over here. I remember them telling me at school to never talk to strangers, that they may want to kidnap me etc. The media is also constantly focusing on the negative as well. Parents increasingly drive their kids to school as opposed to letting them use the bus for paranoid fear that everyone is potentially dangerous. I remember being told not to talk to strangers at school, that they were potential kidnappers and so forth.
Everybody, on public transport and in the streets, minds their own business. In public, I have found that it's only middle-aged people or older that are open to small talk. I have tried starting conversations with girls on public transport and I can say on most those occasions, they give fairly paranoid and defensive body language as if you've broken some rule, or at best are polite and distant. If for instance you visit Spain or France (especially regions further south) and then return to the UK you definitely notice quite a difference in the vibe and demeanour of people. It's hard to explain, but in those two afformentioned countries, I noticed people didn't have such a paranoid look on their faces and actually smiled a lot more than in the UK. They didn't look so well, on edge.
Another thing I must add is that, just like the USA it's only socially acceptable to meet new people in a limited set of social settings such as school, work, introductions through friends as well as clubs and pubs. May I assert, that if you're with the sort of people that won't introduce you to new people or invite you to parties or social occasions, you're pretty much buggered. One thing I want to say about pubs and clubs is that, in the main, people just go to get drunk and they generally stay within their little group, not to meet new people. In such a setting it feels incredibly awkward and unnatural to try and break the ice, plus the fact, those sort of places seem to have a very dark intimidating atmosphere that's hardly conducive to bringing out one's best. I suppose that those settings are ok for bumping into people you've already met.
Another thing is neighbourliness. Where I am people don't talk to their neighbour beyond saying the occasional 'hi'. People generally like to keep to themselves. I have heard of cases where people have died in their flats and no-one's even noticed until the smell of decomposition sets in. The worst of the isolationism is to be found in cities and is most severe in the lower socio-economic strata. In villages in the countryside you will find neighbours interacting with each other more. I have a mate who lives in a village up-country from me, they have that community spirit of knowing one another and regularly interacting. In France, people keep to themselves far less than they do in England. When I stayed with a friend's relatives in a village in the Poitou Charentes region of France, they said that it's not uncommon for people over there to invite each other over for dinner! They own a B&B and are British expats themselves and they know their neighbours really well. Inviting neighbours over for dinner is unheard of in the modern UK. When I talked to them about these differences in the social environments, they said similar things about the UK that said about the US on this site.
I personally think, that in many ways, the UK has a lot in common with the US. What I've mentioned here are just a few minor examples.
Anyway, in my opinion, I think the UK is much more socially closed and has a noticeable paranoid mentality and vibe, especially when compared to other countries on mainland Europe. Has anyone here travelled around Europe including the UK? Has anyone here been both to the USA and UK? Would anyone say that a lot of the complaints about the USA social environment on this site (re cliques etc) apply to the UK as well? I certainly feel so. I would be very interested to here some views on this.
Firstly, I can confidently say we too have a 'no talking to strangers' rule over here. I remember them telling me at school to never talk to strangers, that they may want to kidnap me etc. The media is also constantly focusing on the negative as well. Parents increasingly drive their kids to school as opposed to letting them use the bus for paranoid fear that everyone is potentially dangerous. I remember being told not to talk to strangers at school, that they were potential kidnappers and so forth.
Everybody, on public transport and in the streets, minds their own business. In public, I have found that it's only middle-aged people or older that are open to small talk. I have tried starting conversations with girls on public transport and I can say on most those occasions, they give fairly paranoid and defensive body language as if you've broken some rule, or at best are polite and distant. If for instance you visit Spain or France (especially regions further south) and then return to the UK you definitely notice quite a difference in the vibe and demeanour of people. It's hard to explain, but in those two afformentioned countries, I noticed people didn't have such a paranoid look on their faces and actually smiled a lot more than in the UK. They didn't look so well, on edge.
Another thing I must add is that, just like the USA it's only socially acceptable to meet new people in a limited set of social settings such as school, work, introductions through friends as well as clubs and pubs. May I assert, that if you're with the sort of people that won't introduce you to new people or invite you to parties or social occasions, you're pretty much buggered. One thing I want to say about pubs and clubs is that, in the main, people just go to get drunk and they generally stay within their little group, not to meet new people. In such a setting it feels incredibly awkward and unnatural to try and break the ice, plus the fact, those sort of places seem to have a very dark intimidating atmosphere that's hardly conducive to bringing out one's best. I suppose that those settings are ok for bumping into people you've already met.
Another thing is neighbourliness. Where I am people don't talk to their neighbour beyond saying the occasional 'hi'. People generally like to keep to themselves. I have heard of cases where people have died in their flats and no-one's even noticed until the smell of decomposition sets in. The worst of the isolationism is to be found in cities and is most severe in the lower socio-economic strata. In villages in the countryside you will find neighbours interacting with each other more. I have a mate who lives in a village up-country from me, they have that community spirit of knowing one another and regularly interacting. In France, people keep to themselves far less than they do in England. When I stayed with a friend's relatives in a village in the Poitou Charentes region of France, they said that it's not uncommon for people over there to invite each other over for dinner! They own a B&B and are British expats themselves and they know their neighbours really well. Inviting neighbours over for dinner is unheard of in the modern UK. When I talked to them about these differences in the social environments, they said similar things about the UK that said about the US on this site.
I personally think, that in many ways, the UK has a lot in common with the US. What I've mentioned here are just a few minor examples.
Anyway, in my opinion, I think the UK is much more socially closed and has a noticeable paranoid mentality and vibe, especially when compared to other countries on mainland Europe. Has anyone here travelled around Europe including the UK? Has anyone here been both to the USA and UK? Would anyone say that a lot of the complaints about the USA social environment on this site (re cliques etc) apply to the UK as well? I certainly feel so. I would be very interested to here some views on this.
Since I "fit" into Asia I often just sit back and observe some of these things. It's quite interesting to see "fellow" Americans open each other up with snarky attitudes after a few superficial pleasantries. I have to admit that after meeting a few American expats and tourists I pretty much started avoiding our countrymen as well. Thai-americans are pretty nice people to get to know though.
lol