I agree with all of the above, but in my opinion its not that Americans don't want to talk about the issue, it's the fact that Americans don't take the time to analyze their own culture and see if anything is wrong with it.Winston wrote:I've often wondered about this:
- Why is it that on TV and in movies, Americans are so open, friendly, sociable, communicative, and easily invite you into their cliques, taking you out for fun and introducing you to others? They act so warm, emotional, full of life and feeling, and are easy to talk to and get involved with. And in romance/drama films of old (less so nowadays) people were so passionate and full of feeling in their eyes and expression, as though they were fully aware and conscious.
- But in real life, Americans are generally uptight, closed, cliquish, paranoid, anti-social outside their clique, difficult to meet, don't talk to you unless its business related, and basically ignore you and expect you to mind your own business while they mind theirs. People are in a bubble and there is an "ice barrier" between strangers. They seem like zombies/automatons who are totally unaware and oblivious to others around them, as though they were not fully conscious. They are always in a rush to get through their daily routine. They seem totally uninterested and unconcerned with human connection. And if you are not like that too, you stick out like a sore thumb, like you are in a sort of Twilight Zone - in a different reality from everyone else!
Why is there such a HUGE difference that no one talks about?! It's so bizarre, like the Twilight Zone!
My friend and cultural advisor, a former US immigrant, made the same observation in my forum:
viewtopic.php?t=8855
This is so blatantly obvious, yet no one talks about it. To do so would make you look like a loser, so no one dares to. It's like an "Emperor's New Clothes" syndrome. Either that, or people don't see it due to the cognitive dissonance of their programming."I think generally, the biggest culture shock that people experience in the US is not between their country and the US but between what they thought the US would be and what it actually is. Books and movies about America make the place appear very free and exciting and happening and the people are so interesting and emotional. There is sex and fun and romance going on. When they arrive, the place looks very conservative and the people appear robotic and quiet. Sex is subdued and hard to come by. The people are not open at all, they look closed and mistrustful. Everybody is just working and looking tired and apathetic. Talking to strangers is taboo. There are thousands of little rules and laws and social mores that seem as dogmatic and strict as those in a Muslim society. And every time you are at risk of breaking yet another law and facing very dire consequences. That is the biggest culture shock of all."
There is also an unspoken social law that says that anywhere you go, you MUST say that people are very friendly and wonderful, or you say nothing at all. Or you can blame yourself. But you are NOT allowed to say that people are anti-social. That is a big taboo and No-No. Thus truth is censored no doubt.
Lucky for me I'm pretty smart, I traveled around the state, and I payed close attention to other cultures such as Indians (from the sub continent), and Mexicans, and I noticed they seem to have more of a good social life (that helps them get through life easier).
Another thing I have noticed is that Americans have this belief that America is the best country in the world (but they never lived out of the country!) and that no other place can be better. So once again, this mentality kind of locks you into a mental box and you just just put up with the lack of social life and fake friends.
