Asian men complaining about XMAF situation. Have they got a point?

[Yohan]

That's very true, before I came here - I believed the urban myth that Chinese women would prefer westerners over their own men and then you get here and it's bullshit - why should they if one thinks about it logically? Their fathers, brothers, uncles, male classmates etc are all Chinese guys and they're Chinese themselves - as they look in the mirror at themselves everyday, they will find what they see as attractive on others - none of them give a shit about a man having blue eyes or blond hair ...

I can only agree with your comment.

If you are a Western foreign man living in Asia, sometimes the Chinese woman will stay with you, but if you relocate back to the States or Europe, such relationship will end often in divorce. I know personally such now divorced couples.

I was living among Chinese within a Chinese family and had a Chinese girlfriend in Malaysia (English educated, Malaysia at that time was still very much British orientated), I could read a lot of Chinese and speak also Malay (now not any more so much, it was more than 40 years ago, and I forgot a lot as no language exercise anymore and my main language is now Japanese) but still, after some years, I had enough of them all and it was I who left.

I still have a friendly relationship since decades with another Chinese family in Malaysia, who are working for Japanese companies, but everyone of them is 100 % Chinese - no way for a foreigner, even not for a Japanese, to be considered for international marriage, not with them and not with other families living nearby as far as I know them. Just not interested at all. Chinese, or overseas Chinese only.

[Yohan]

how to start a conversation with a girl has been an ongoing conversation for years, modern dating does not make it easy for guys. Women get approached...

In Western countries the dating scene is totally broken, I have no idea even how to start to look for a nice woman in Europe, I never managed it in my past to make it up to a Western girlfriend for even 30 minutes.

Most still available women have multiple boyfriends anyway, I am not the guy who is willing to line up as the no. 3 or no. 8. Just short-time, nothing serious. Legally also tricky in case of pregnancy, claiming abuse or even rape or divorce with children etc.

Dating in Western countries might be easy only for rich businessmen, or at least for young boys who have rich parents and support them financially, or for celebrities, but also for men who just don't care if something is going wrong - including criminals... girls often admire men with a crazy life-style and are shocked if something is going badly wrong.

If you are a young man without support from parents or siblings, just earn an average income - I guess you have no good chance to find a reliable soulmate, as there is none.

Dating is still better for Western men outside of their own countries, just my impression. many women in Asia are interested in a long-term relationship, however the main issue is how to manage it - there are visa issues, job permit issues, language issues etc. not so easy either for foreign men in Asian countries dating a local girl.

Also I found not so many Asian women are interested in international/interracial marriage and often refuse relocation.
Gender imbalance in some countries also plays a role.

I fully understand that many young men - worldwide - just gave up, are hopelessly single, a sad situation.

Even here in Japan, despite laws are not bad for young man - not treated as a second class citizen like in Europe or USA - dating is not easy.
Many Japanese young men are rather disappointed, not willing even to try.

----------------

One day I saw on Japanese TV a reportage about this never ending subject about so many single men in Japan - an interviewer asking two young men....they gave about same replies independently from each other.

Q: Do you have a girl friend?
A: No

Q: Do you prefer to be alone or do you feel lonely?
A: Yes, I feel often lonely, I do not like to be alone, especially not when I go out, walking around...no girl to talk with...

Q: Do you wish to have a girlfriend with you?
A: Yes

Q: Are you trying to find a girlfriend, are you actively dating?
A: No

Q: Why not?
A: I have only a simple job, small income, pay rent for a little room - if I really find a girlfriend, after a short while she will find somebody else and leave me anyway...Why shall I even waste my time for dating?....

----

What can you answer to such young men? I cannot say what they feel is so wrong...

If a man is dumped it can take him months, even years to find a new female partner, but if a woman is dumped, she can replace him with another boyfriend often within hours.

[chanta76]

It's all about social economics. That's why an old fat white expat can get a girl in Asia but I would say lower class Asian girl. If he was a young good looking white guy with money he can land a higher class Asian girl.
In Asia most Asian girls still prefer Asian men but some do go for white guys because of Hollywood and social economics.

As Asian countries rises and Asian guys tries to learn game maybe they can do OK dating non-Asian girls but its not there yet. Again social economics plays a big factor. Globally white guys sit on top social economically..

In western countries Asian men who live there struggle in dating and fair number of Asian American girls do only go for white guys ONLY because they are westernize and go for western taste and standard which again is reflection of social economics.

If Asian men were sitting on top globally in the sense of media , finance and influence ..you would see more Asian men with non-Asian women..and dating would be easier.

But part of the reason why dating is also harder in the west..is feminist movement that killed off feminine American women..which made some white guys go to Asia to find a feminine women.

So thats also a reason why you see so many more WMAF. Part of it is that white women are just bad..and I think even Asian men know so don't even put the effort to date them.

[Outcast9428]

I've looked at stats that show that asian women still date asian guys about 60% of the time even in America. It is true that asian girls go for white guys at a higher rate then women of other races do, but I think part of that is because asians in America are not as segregated as other races are. Black people are very self-segregated from whites and hispanics are the same way. Most asians on the other hand tend to live in majority white neighborhoods. Considering that white men are 65% of the men out there, and often more like 80-90% of the men that asian girls talk to or encounter on a daily basis, it is no surprise that asian girls end up dating white men at a very high rate.

I think asian men might be complaining though that traditional asian families do not get angry at their daughters for dating white men the same way that they do when they date black or hispanic men. Its also worth noting that surveys taken of asian women typically find that asian girls find asian men and white men to be about equally attractive. Some surveys indicate that white men have a slight preference but not as much of one as people think. There are definitely some asian girls who have white boy fever who might be pushing that stat up but there are other asian girls who are very insistent on staying racially loyal.

Overall I do feel sympathy for asian guys struggling in the American dating world because it really is an incredibly tough world out there. But at the same time, I love my asian girlfriend and can't imagine myself ever giving her up.

[Man With a Plan]

Asian men (western ones anyway) are too whiny. I have zero sympathy for you lot. Most people date their own, and Asians are the most keen in dating their own, PERIOD. Yes, Asians have the white-washing obsession, but if they don't, you can be certain they're only dating their own. I'll admit that I've seen a number of Asian girls IN THE WEST express anti-Asian sentiments, but understand those girls are an extreme minority. Actually go to Asia and you'll see that the ugliest, shortest pan-faced local men are wifed up with decent-looking, or even smokeshow women. It's the same in every community except black. The top shelf black women tend to date white men. But for Asians? No. The bitch will look good as a MF walking down the street with a dude who looks like Smegol from Lord of the Rings.

You Asian dudes need to stop trippin'. Women aren't easy. That's just how it is.

[yick]

That's very true, before I came here - I believed the urban myth that Chinese women would prefer westerners over their own men and then you get here and it's bullshit - why should they if one thinks about it logically? Their fathers, brothers, uncles, male classmates etc are all Chinese guys and they're Chinese themselves - as they look in the mirror at themselves everyday, they will find what they see as attractive on others - none of them give a shit about a man having blue eyes or blond hair ...

I can only agree with your comment.

If you are a Western foreign man living in Asia, sometimes the Chinese woman will stay with you, but if you relocate back to the States or Europe, such relationship will end often in divorce. I know personally such now divorced couples.

I was living among Chinese within a Chinese family and had a Chinese girlfriend in Malaysia (English educated, Malaysia at that time was still very much British orientated), I could read a lot of Chinese and speak also Malay (now not any more so much, it was more than 40 years ago, and I forgot a lot as no language exercise anymore and my main language is now Japanese) but still, after some years, I had enough of them all and it was I who left.

I still have a friendly relationship since decades with another Chinese family in Malaysia, who are working for Japanese companies, but everyone of them is 100 % Chinese - no way for a foreigner, even not for a Japanese, to be considered for international marriage, not with them and not with other families living nearby as far as I know them. Just not interested at all. Chinese, or overseas Chinese only.

I always wondered why men married women from overseas, brought them back to their country and lamented on them 'changing' course they're going to change as a basic survival mechanism of adapting to a new environment - I have changed a lot since I have left the UK. Any woman going from east to west is going to change, especially if she is expected to work and she will change to mirror the women around her, her friends, in-laws and workmates.

Chinese people are very much into keeping their families free of outside influences - not many families I know would accept a foreign son-in-law (or daughter-in-law even...) Koreans are pretty much the same though they would be more lenient if their children are older, divorced, single parents etc.

[Outcast9428]

Asian men (western ones anyway) are too whiny. I have zero sympathy for you lot. Most people date their own, and Asians are the most keen in dating their own, PERIOD. Yes, Asians have the white-washing obsession, but if they don't, you can be certain they're only dating their own. I'll admit that I've seen a number of Asian girls IN THE WEST express anti-Asian sentiments, but understand those girls are an extreme minority. Actually go to Asia and you'll see that the ugliest, shortest pan-faced local men are wifed up with decent-looking, or even smokeshow women. It's the same in every community except black. The top shelf black women tend to date white men. But for Asians? No. The bitch will look good as a MF walking down the street with a dude who looks like Smegol from Lord of the Rings.

You Asian dudes need to stop trippin'. Women aren't easy. That's just how it is.

I am inclined to agree with this but maybe its because I am biased. I truly think asian girls are the most wonderful females on Earth. They're beautiful, petite, cute, the most sweet and nurturing, statistically they are the least likely to divorce you and the least likely to cheat on you. Asian girls are the most open to dating awkward, nerdy guys. They are very family oriented and try to take care of the people around them. Asian girls are also the most romantic and seem to enjoy cheesy romantic gestures the most. In my experience, nobody will try harder to make you happy then an asian girl will. There may have once been a time when white girls were like that too but nowadays hardly any of them are. Even among asian-american girls though I still meet a lot of girls who are like how I described.

[Man With a Plan]

I am inclined to agree with this but maybe its because I am biased. I truly think asian girls are the most wonderful females on Earth. They're beautiful, petite, cute, the most sweet and nurturing, statistically they are the least likely to divorce you and the least likely to cheat on you. Asian girls are the most open to dating awkward, nerdy guys. They are very family oriented and try to take care of the people around them. Asian girls are also the most romantic and seem to enjoy cheesy romantic gestures the most. In my experience, nobody will try harder to make you happy then an asian girl will. There may have once been a time when white girls were like that too but nowadays hardly any of them are. Even among asian-american girls though I still meet a lot of girls who are like how I described.

I couldn't care less if you agree or not. For your """statistics""", I'm gon' need some kind of link on that. Surely you have studies that verify what you claim about them. As far as the whole bit about "they're family oriented and make you happy", f***ing lmao. Japan would like to have a word with you.

[Outcast9428]

I am inclined to agree with this but maybe its because I am biased. I truly think asian girls are the most wonderful females on Earth. They're beautiful, petite, cute, the most sweet and nurturing, statistically they are the least likely to divorce you and the least likely to cheat on you. Asian girls are the most open to dating awkward, nerdy guys. They are very family oriented and try to take care of the people around them. Asian girls are also the most romantic and seem to enjoy cheesy romantic gestures the most. In my experience, nobody will try harder to make you happy then an asian girl will. There may have once been a time when white girls were like that too but nowadays hardly any of them are. Even among asian-american girls though I still meet a lot of girls who are like how I described.

I couldn't care less if you agree or not. For your """statistics""", I'm gon' need some kind of link on that. Surely you have studies that verify what you claim about them. As far as the whole bit about "they're family oriented and make you happy", f***ing lmao. Japan would like to have a word with you.

I do have statistics but I'm not gonna put the effort into finding them again if you're gonna act like that. I don't know what triggered you so hard but I'm not inclined to have a discussion with somebody who reacts like this when I wasn't even attacking you in the slightest.

[Man With a Plan]

I am inclined to agree with this but maybe its because I am biased. I truly think asian girls are the most wonderful females on Earth. They're beautiful, petite, cute, the most sweet and nurturing, statistically they are the least likely to divorce you and the least likely to cheat on you. Asian girls are the most open to dating awkward, nerdy guys. They are very family oriented and try to take care of the people around them. Asian girls are also the most romantic and seem to enjoy cheesy romantic gestures the most. In my experience, nobody will try harder to make you happy then an asian girl will. There may have once been a time when white girls were like that too but nowadays hardly any of them are. Even among asian-american girls though I still meet a lot of girls who are like how I described.

I couldn't care less if you agree or not. For your """statistics""", I'm gon' need some kind of link on that. Surely you have studies that verify what you claim about them. As far as the whole bit about "they're family oriented and make you happy", f***ing lmao. Japan would like to have a word with you.

I do have statistics but I'm not gonna put the effort into finding them again if you're gonna act like that. I don't know what triggered you so hard but I'm not inclined to have a discussion with somebody who reacts like this when I wasn't even attacking you in the slightest.

Translation: I'm a dumbass who talks out his behind and has no statistics to speak of. Glad I figured out not to take you seriously early on. Beats having to waste time observing your posts to determine that. Thanks for playing!

[chanta76]

Manwitha plan

You asian ?

[chanta76]

how to start a conversation with a girl has been an ongoing conversation for years, modern dating does not make it easy for guys. Women get approached...

In Western countries the dating scene is totally broken, I have no idea even how to start to look for a nice woman in Europe, I never managed it in my past to make it up to a Western girlfriend for even 30 minutes.

Most still available women have multiple boyfriends anyway, I am not the guy who is willing to line up as the no. 3 or no. 8. Just short-time, nothing serious. Legally also tricky in case of pregnancy, claiming abuse or even rape or divorce with children etc.

Dating in Western countries might be easy only for rich businessmen, or at least for young boys who have rich parents and support them financially, or for celebrities, but also for men who just don't care if something is going wrong - including criminals... girls often admire men with a crazy life-style and are shocked if something is going badly wrong.

If you are a young man without support from parents or siblings, just earn an average income - I guess you have no good chance to find a reliable soulmate, as there is none.

Dating is still better for Western men outside of their own countries, just my impression. many women in Asia are interested in a long-term relationship, however the main issue is how to manage it - there are visa issues, job permit issues, language issues etc. not so easy either for foreign men in Asian countries dating a local girl.

Also I found not so many Asian women are interested in international/interracial marriage and often refuse relocation.
Gender imbalance in some countries also plays a role.

I fully understand that many young men - worldwide - just gave up, are hopelessly single, a sad situation.

Even here in Japan, despite laws are not bad for young man - not treated as a second class citizen like in Europe or USA - dating is not easy.
Many Japanese young men are rather disappointed, not willing even to try.

----------------

One day I saw on Japanese TV a reportage about this never ending subject about so many single men in Japan - an interviewer asking two young men....they gave about same replies independently from each other.

Q: Do you have a girl friend?
A: No

Q: Do you prefer to be alone or do you feel lonely?
A: Yes, I feel often lonely, I do not like to be alone, especially not when I go out, walking around...no girl to talk with...

Q: Do you wish to have a girlfriend with you?
A: Yes

Q: Are you trying to find a girlfriend, are you actively dating?
A: No

Q: Why not?
A: I have only a simple job, small income, pay rent for a little room - if I really find a girlfriend, after a short while she will find somebody else and leave me anyway...Why shall I even waste my time for dating?....

----

What can you answer to such young men? I cannot say what they feel is so wrong...

If a man is dumped it can take him months, even years to find a new female partner, but if a woman is dumped, she can replace him with another boyfriend often within hours.

Sounds to me Japan is becoming more like USA and the same applies to South Korea. What I mean is the standard that the local Asian women are looking for is too high along with feminism turned the local Asian girls off.