Huddo wrote: ↑May 1st, 2021, 10:45 pmTsar,
don’t that this as discouragement, just some honest advice from a guy who’s been married, raised a family, divorced, dated successful in his own country and in a foreign country and has had a long term Russian GF.
Foreign dating is not as easy as people think. Take Ukraine and Russia for example, only 5 percent of men who get on a plane ever marry a FSU woman. Most fail due to unrealistic expectations regarding the age and looks of the women they can realistically attract. FSU women know their value in western culture and are picky to say the least, when it comes to the type of man they will marry. Even a divorced single mother, living with her parents, while working a minimum wage job has standards when it comes to men.
Most older men in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s don’t marry stunning 20 year old models like the PPL sites would have you believe. 95% marry age appropriate women who don’t look like Instagram models. Those who do are delusional and generally get used as gullible visa mules, then dumped for younger men once she has citizenship.
This is an old post. But I would say that there is so much variety among couples that it is hard to make generalizations like this. It is not that unrealistic for a man in his early to mid-20's to marry a woman in her early 20's. If he is her type for looks-- and if he is accomplished, skilled, respectable, a leader, good at fixing stuff, confident... whatever rings the particular girls bells for attraction in addition to looks, he could attract a woman. I heard a Jordan Peterson video that said that they took for pictures of a man and matched him with four different profiles. Women went for men who were highly skilled in the lower paid low profit sector just as much as they went for men who were highly skilled in the for-profit sector. It wasn't about money. It was about competence and stuff like that. (I did not read the study. It could be that there was no statistically significant difference between the categories of men they chose.)
Some women go for higher status men. It's engrained, and not necessarily something the intellectually plot to do. There are some countries where white men are considered 'high status' still because of the colonial past. I get the impression that the Philippines is that way. Indonesia is. It seems to be getting less the case, but it is still there. The Dutch--white people-- ruled Indonesia for 400 years and marrying someone Dutch was marrying someone from the ruling class. The Spanish colonized the Philippines, and then the US had it for a relatively short period of time. Incomes can be really low in some of these countries, too. English teachers in Indonesia, when I was there in the 1990's during the monetary crisis, were being paid as much as fairly high level managers there. Standing in front of a group telling them what to do is a little bit 'alpha' even if teaching may be on the low end of the spectrum of activities that might be considered 'alpha.'
White men in the movies are tough, blow up the asteroid that is about to destroy the planet, etc. This has shifted a bit. I don't know if all the movies where white men are snivelling dorks standing alongside a scrawny Kung Fu chick who has the ability to beat up men with ten times the upper body strength has become so prevalent for Hollywood to work against being American or white on the foreign dating scene. A friend of mine pointed out how Indonesian women always saw heroic, good-looking white men. He went to see Armageddon with his employees. One of the men there said, "It is a good thing America is there to help" after the American blew up the asteroid. Girls watch this stuff, too. I think white men dating abroad have long reaped the somewhat incremental benefits of this.
There is also the fact that being foreign can have some benefits. A man who happens to like Asians might find a Chinese or Korean girl's accent cute and endearing. (I don't know if that can apply for Vietnam and Cambodia since them's some really messed up accents.)
You might sound like an awkward dork in your home country, but the accent and just being different from being foreign might mask or override social awkwardness. Also, there are some men who go for Asians or redheads that aren't all that good-looking. In their minds they are pretty because they are Asian or because they are red-heads. Foreign women can be the same, especially if you are talking about Asian women. The 'pointy nose' is a desirable trait in Southeast Asia, as is light skin. A plain-looking man in the US may have the pointiest nose in down in the Philippines or Indonesia.
Also, being abroad and maybe even speaking a foreign language might push a man out of his shell. He might feel bolder in a different environment. After seeing every eye on a bus staring at me when I was waiting on a red light, after a while, I got to the point where I just did not care as much about people looking at me thinking I was odd. That might have made me a bit bolder. Also, living abroad may cause you to be lonely and start looking for human companionship. The need for it may help you overcome shyness or awkwardness.
What I am saying is that there are a lot of reasons a woman might be attracted to a man. This applies overseas. In some places, foreign men from certain countries have an advantage.
There are also cases where two white people or two white people or whatever hit it off in the home country, and there is an age gap. Some girls are attracted to older men. Some don't mind as long as he looks relatively young. Why would a woman being from another country rule out this possibility?