Winston wrote: ↑September 30th, 2020, 7:15 am
Great question kangarunner.
Yes of course to fit into America, you gotta match the culture, and that means you are competitive, materialistic, career oriented, sensitive to social status, strive to be successful, etc. You also gotta be kind of shallow, not deep, and superficial. And of course, you gotta be positive all the time, even if you have to fake positivity, and believe in the "fake it til you make it" routine. That's the culture. You're supposed to just conform to it and act like all that is normal, you aren't supposed to question it or ask about it. lol
In addition, you also gotta be cliquish it seems to have a social life, that means you gotta break into cliques too. The thing is, breaking into cliques is not easy. It's not something you just choose or don't choose to do. You don't get a panel with buttons that say "join clique" and "refuse to join clique". You either fit in or you don't. It seems that to break into a clique you gotta be pretentious, shallow, and think like the rest of the group. You can't just be yourself, because in America no one loves you for you, only for your image and status. People who fit into cliques naturally fit in, they don't try to. If you have to try to fit in or wonder how to fit in, then you probably do not naturally fit in. Because most people who fit in just do, they don't talk about it or think about it? Know what I mean? The average person does not think about these questions or ask them, because they just fit in without trying somehow.
Think of how it was in high school. Did most people try to fit into a high school clique? Did they work hard to join a clique or have some secret complex formula or method for joining a clique or making friends? No they didn't. It just came NATURAL to them, they just went with the flow and the flow put them in the clique they belonged in. Very simple and effortless. No rocket science. So if average normal people can find a clique in high school, it cannot be hard or complex. Some people are just misfits and don't fit in, it's not a choice, it's just that they don't belong and aren't like others at the core. You can't change the core substance of who and what you are. If it's different, people will notice it. That's why you can't just pretend to be "norma" by acting and talking normal. People like animals have an instinct and can sense whether you really fit in or not.
Think of all the friends and girlfriends you've had. Did you work hard to make them your friend or follow some secret formula or trigger or code? No of course not. It all happened naturally and with the flow. You and your friends naturally connected and went with the flow and became friends because you vibed together well. That's all. Nothing complex. You did not have to "make it happen" or "force it to happen" or go agains the grain. It either happened naturally or it didn't. It's not a choice that you had control over. See what I mean?
I don't think it's just about having American qualities and a type of personality that makes you fit in in America. That's the superficial part. I think at the core, you are either connected to the hive mind, like the Borg Collective on Star Trek, or you aren't. If you are, you don't have to try. You will just follow the trend and think what everyone else thinks, like ants do in their colony and group consciousness. If you aren't plugged in, you will feel off, like you have to figure out your own way and find your own meaning. For some reason, most people are plugged into the hive collective, but a few like us here, are not. I don't know why. That's the 64k question that I'm trying to figure out.
So there seem to be intangible aspects to this too, it's not simple and superficial. You can't just choose to fit in or be something you are not. Sure you can adapt and put on a mask to fit in, but if it's too different from the real you, you will suffer internally and have a psychosis and inner fragmentation. And you won't know why, you will just keep blaming yourself.
Unfortunately, most people who feel like us are programmed by society to blame themselves and try to improve themselves, so they never see the real problem or the truth about their culture and society. That's what I'm hoping to change.