Why Shouldn't I Kill Myself?

[Tsar]

I don't know why I'm posting this here or anywhere on the internet but I'm seriously thinking of just killing myself and being done with it. I don't feel there's a point to living anymore. If I do it then it will most likely be on May 31, 2016 after I have everything in order and a Will to distribute my valuables, good items, and virtual assets; after I printed out a suicide note and make a few youtube videos using my headset microphone talking about why I'm going to kill myself, and then destroy all my hard drives and anything else I don't want anyone to see once I'm dead.

I'll probably be calling the suicide hotline tomorrow or next week if I get more suicidal just to hear peoples' reasons why I shouldn't.

I feel like it's all hopeless and I'm in checkmate. It's like trying to escape being sucked into a blackhole and not be ripped apart by your atoms. It's just not possible to escape a blackhole and that's what my life is. Torment, suffering, and repeating the same things over and over with minor variations in the details. I should just kill myself and be done with it. No one cares. No one will remember my name. I won't be missed. I don't have anything to live for. My dreams are broken just like my heart. I have no more hope. My anger and my hatred are meaningless. Nothing is fueling me. I'll never rise so I figure I might as well experience my final fall by my own hands. The past month it's just been a deep plummet into this abyss and I realize the only exit and only victory is dying. I'll probably post a variation of this thread elsewhere on the internet for different answers. I don't expect I'll hear anything that will change my decision but I guess there's always a chance someone might be able to influence me from metaphorically jumping off the edge or the ledge, whatever you think is the better fitting word.

Here's my possible three best choice methods:

Overdosing on high content alcohol, a bottle of pharmaceutical cough syrup with codeine I didn't use, and an entire bottle of prescription anti-anxiety medicine. I figure this has a 95% success rate

Buying ultra sharp razors, so sharp I wouldn't feel the pain, and then slitting my wrists and bleed to dead. I figure this had a 99.999% chance if I made vertical slashes and cut my veins. Horizontal slits have a higher survival rate so I'd go with the vertical slashes so I'd have a better chance of dying.

Buying sleeping medicine, overdosing, and collapse outside at night and die of hypothermia while passed out outside. I figure this has an 85% success rate at this time of year

I would list jumping off one of the two major bridges in my state but I don't feel like experiencing all my bones breaking when I hit the water and then having to be fished out of the waters. I want my family to see my dead body and I want them to feel whatever pain they would feel once I am dead.

Most likely I'll choose to overdose on high content alcohol (so much my liver wouldn't be able to process it fast enough and it would poison my blood), cough syrup with codeine (adds to the alcohol and will negatively affect my breathing), and the entire bottle of my anti-anxiety prescription (calm, soothing, and also help me go through with it). Even if they revive me I'd probably be in a coma permanently so I'd write in my will I don't want to be kept alive on life support.

Edit: Corrected spelling errors

[fightforlove]

You need to turn off your computer, breathe deep, relax, smile, and talk to someone you trust. Call/visit a friend, family member, etc. You're in a rut and reading/posting on the internet is exacerbating your troubles. You need to get offline and into the real world, talk to people, and make changes.

[Tsar]

You need to turn off your computer, breathe deep, relax, smile, and talk to someone you trust. Call/visit a friend, family member, etc. You're in a rut and reading/posting on the internet is exacerbating your troubles. You need to get offline and into the real world, talk to people, and make changes.

I'm in the real world everyday since I am working full-time. My family is terrible. I have no real friends to talk to. I smile almost everyday but it's fake. I'm not happy and probably never will be with the way things are and the way my life is.

[fightforlove]

You need to turn off your computer, breathe deep, relax, smile, and talk to someone you trust. Call/visit a friend, family member, etc. You're in a rut and reading/posting on the internet is exacerbating your troubles. You need to get offline and into the real world, talk to people, and make changes.

I'm in the real world everyday since I am working full-time. My family is terrible. I have no real friends to talk to. I smile almost everyday but it's fake. I'm not happy and probably never will be with the way things are and the way my life is.

Then you need to make an effort to find new friends. Also, visit a psychologist as soon as you can. You are blessed with life, with many blessings right around you. Start talking to some new people, and you'll start to see how good you have things.

[Cornfed]

Wouldn't it be possible to save money and go abroad with your current job? What exactly is the problem?

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

He's bluffing. Real suicidal maniacs move in silence. He's not about that life....or death I should say. lmao foh. Yup f-o-h with that dumb shit.
Or you can even get Markus McCloud to do it for you so you wouldn't be to identify whom he is anyway after he does it to you.

[Wolfeye]

Tsar: Maybe a big problem is that you're trying to find a "meaning" to life (as in: "what's the meaning of life?"), but it's an incongruent question- it doesn't match up with the situation. You might remember being a kid & someone would ask "Are you gay?" & you'd say "No" & then they'd say "Do your parents know you're gay?" It's like that. It's a question that presumes life is a task, which it's not. Don't know how much point there is in trying to articulate what it is, since language has to eventually connect to something & so there's no way to ultimately define anything.

Not trying to rub your face in anything, but it seems you're trying to ratiocinate life. This is a "hampster wheel" situation. Keep in mind that (and this doesn't mean that it's not important) there's no objective reason to anything, even survival. Why would it be important? So that the species can be continued? So what- why is that an issue? Because the planet would be a dead rock? So? Not unimportant things, but any kind of value is not an objective style- then again, neither is the drive to be objective or "objectish" (the second one is perhaps more apt).

As far as your reasoning that you might wind up in a coma & would have a DNR order, don't believe that it would be effective. My mother's boyfriend was at the hospital when his father died & they had kept him alive DESPITE the "Do Not Resuscitate" order. They don't really think other people sway their actions, even the ones they direct toward THOSE people. If you're worried about waking up retarded or maimed in some way, keep in mind that they DO that shit deliberately from time to time.

Are you still living in America? I thought you didn't like that part of the world. I know there are times where I feel like I'm trying to hunt deer in the ocean living here & it's made worse by people that act like surrounding conditions are not a factor- in order to feel less vulnerable, they act like there isn't a situational component to what you can do. They act like it's all a question of you & how much intensity you put into what you do- even when there's nothing to apply any action to. What are you supposed to be doing? Conjuring a situation through mere willpower?

Just as a suggestion, you might want to try a vacation somewhere to "recharge your batteries" so you can get something real going. Another idea is to workout really hard- actually push yourself, instead of what people tend to think of as "the safe way." Not saying to keep going if it feels like your joints are coming apart, but basically push yourself severely. This is kind of exertion seems to be helpful in ways that are a little tough to describe, but it's at the very least not "whistling in outer space."

[Teal Lantern]

I'm seriously thinking of just killing myself and being done with it. I don't feel there's a point to living anymore.

This is not the attitude of someone who believes they have what it takes to roll with the mobster toughs.

[Talisman]

First off, this feeling probably won't ever be shaken from your life, as, our situation in the world is accurately assessed through these types of feelings--suicide. But, you're making a big mistake doing this. I argue against doing it from a spiritual perspective, but, maybe that isn't your thing. I didn't see any reflection on your part of consequence for losing your human self. But, taking another track, no shit family is worthless, f**k 'em, but not by you being dead in a casket. Just f**k them--be free of all the shit symbolically in death. Die somewhat to that which is trying to kill you. You are at the base floor--that's the best place to be for not being fooled by reality--and then just go out and do stuff. Get out of your situation, get out of America. Be a truthseeker and find the amazing magic that is out there. You can only find it if alive. I hope you decide to do so. I will feel bad if you kill yourself as we probably have all been there.

[gnosis]

Tsar,

You are employed at the moment and saving money, correct? If you kill yourself, you're letting your destructive family and the bastards in your environment get the best of you. I think before you kill yourself you should consider all the options you have. If you're willing to kill yourself, then why not take a big risk and try something new with your life? You have nothing to lose. Killing yourself means there is a 100% chance that nothing will ever work out for you. Doing something crazy like working on a ranch in Brazil has a < 100% chance of failure.

Here are some ideas:

1) Save your money so you can rent an apartment. Limit communication with your toxic family. You'll feel better in your own place and can maybe get a woman.

2) Spend less time on the internet.

3) Work out. Bulk up or get fit.

4) Make a plan to vacation abroad.

[jamesbond]

I don't know why I'm posting this here or anywhere on the internet but I'm seriously thinking of just killing myself and being done with it. I don't feel there's a point to living anymore. If I do it then it will most likely be on May 31, 2016 after I have everything in order and a Will to distribute my valuables, good items, and virtual assets; after I printed out a suicide note and make a few youtube videos using my headset microphone talking about why I'm going to kill myself, and then destroy all my hard drives and anything else I don't want anyone to see once I'm dead.

I'll probably be calling the suicide hotline tomorrow or next week if I get more suicidal just to hear peoples' reasons why I shouldn't.

Holy Jesus Tsar, I didn't know you felt this bad. DON'T KILL YOURSELF, we all have felt horribly depressed at various times in our lives. Winston himself said he felt like killing himself a few times when he was younger.

Now he says it's a good thing he didn't commit suicide or he would of never had all the fun and met all the women he has in his traveling to Russia, Ukraine and the Philippines.

Please don't do it Tsar, I will be praying for you.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

You guys are stupid enough to give him attention to "validate" his existence. The most posts, the more the egg-on.

[droid]

Asking for sympathy this way is kind of gay if you ask me. But hey this kind of thread shows how social isolation rots many individuals' minds in America.
He would get more sympathy if he was humble and depressed, but he is arrogant and depressed.
Dukes of Hazard reference: "my life sucks.., but I'm so above everyone else".

@Tsar
Face it Tsar, you are just an average Joe like most of us, deal with it. No sun-king or any of that bullshit, and things won't land on your lap just by themselves. Just let those delusions go. Heck even rock stars had to put a lot of sacrifice to become such.
If you had some humility you'd see things are not just about yourself and that others actually have bigger problems. There are many nice things out there to experience and you have received plenty of advice on how to get started, instead of sticking to theorizing and bullshit extreme idealism.

I'm waiting for S_parc's take on this.

*I hope there are no legal consequences for opining in a thread like this, should the dude actually do something stupid.

[Adama]

Watch these videos to help you become a member of God's family:

[Adama]

Oh yeah, and if you screw up your suicide, you could become a conscious vegetable for the rest of your life, and you'll have to live with that shame, most likely in a nursing home bed.