I don't want children, don't judge me

[marklambo]

I'm not going to even get into the instances about women impregnating themselves with the contents of spent condoms just to get the legal and financial hooks into the man.

Men should have the right to walk away if the women have the children against the men's wishes!

I'm sure you are referring to stories such as this one:
http://www.lasisblog.com/2011/02/26/man ... d-support/

That woman saved the sperm from giving the guy oral sex so she can impregnate herself and collect money.

There really is no such thing as "safe sex" anymore with women. Men must be careful in all different angles now.

It is so unfortunate that a guy who does not plan to have kids and has done what he can to prevent it, still risks having an unwanted child.

How about this case for paying for a kid you didn't want?
Feel free to play "reverse the genders".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermesmann_v._Seyer

Hermesmann v. Seyer (State ex rel. Hermesmann v. Seyer 847 P.2d 1273 (Kan. 1993)) was a precedent-setting Kansas, United States case in which Colleen Hermesmann successfully argued that a woman is entitled to sue the father of her child for child support even if conception occurred as a result of a criminal act committed by the woman.

These awful women sure do start out at an early age

[S_Parc]

Winston, I have a question- do you seek to bring any good to this world beyond pleasure for yourself and spreading the word that others can have this selfish but enjoyable existence themselves? It seems you advocate meeting women abroad, but not marrying them nor procreating with them. While most of us concede that marriage and children are personal choices, you seem to advocate your particular brand of hedonism for everyone.

I guess it all comes down to this: when you die, how do you want those you leave behind to remember you? What mark do you want to leave on this world? What brings you pleasure aside from simply bringing yourself pleasure? Do you live for nothing else?

I think you have a lot of great ideas, but a lot of misguided ones as well.

House,

I believe that some men, were born to have a family. I know a few of these fellas and for the most part, you don't need to get into some visceral "pro vs con" argument, about whether or not they'd want kids. They simply do it, on their own volition.

But then, once you're out of that *destiny* crowd, what do you have? The late great American founding father Ben Franklin, had disowned his son, William Franklin, because he was a loyalist to the British Crown. That was a completely fractured family but yet, today, many Americans remember Ben Franklin as one of America's greatest founding fathers, as well as the Renaissance man of his times.

If abortion was available in the 1700s, chances are, William would never have been born and then, the great Ben Franklin would have been a childless overachiever in the annals of American history.

[HouseMD]

Winston, I have a question- do you seek to bring any good to this world beyond pleasure for yourself and spreading the word that others can have this selfish but enjoyable existence themselves? It seems you advocate meeting women abroad, but not marrying them nor procreating with them. While most of us concede that marriage and children are personal choices, you seem to advocate your particular brand of hedonism for everyone.

I guess it all comes down to this: when you die, how do you want those you leave behind to remember you? What mark do you want to leave on this world? What brings you pleasure aside from simply bringing yourself pleasure? Do you live for nothing else?

I think you have a lot of great ideas, but a lot of misguided ones as well.

House,

I believe that some men, were born to have a family. I know a few of these fellas and for the most part, you don't need to get into some visceral "pro vs con" argument, about whether or not they'd want kids. They simply do it, on their own volition.

But then, once you're out of that *destiny* crowd, what do you have? The late great American founding father Ben Franklin, had disowned his son, William Franklin, because he was a loyalist to the British Crown. That was a completely fractured family but yet, today, many Americans remember Ben Franklin as one of America's greatest founding fathers, as well as the Renaissance man of his times.

If abortion was available in the 1700s, chances are, William would never have been born and then, the great Ben Franklin would have been a childless overachiever in the annals of American history.

Perhaps I wasn't clear enough. My question to Winston was not about children. It was a question about his philosophy of life as it relates to altruism and selfishness as a dichotomy to which he leans heavily in a single direction. I was simply asking if there was anything in his life that was truly selfless that brought him joy, for he seems to be a relentless advocate of selfishness as a way of life.

As I stated previously, the decision to have or care for children is a very personal one to be taken seriously. I do not believe having children is a noble thing for all people, but rather a thing that is right for some and wrong for others.

[marklambo]

I believe that some men, were born to have a family. I know a few of these fellas and for the most part, you don't need to get into some visceral "pro vs con" argument, about whether or not they'd want kids. They simply do it, on their own volition.

I agree. There are indeed those men out there who just have it in them to raise a family. What I am wondering is the percentage of men that actually "want" a family by choice. I know that in society, many men are somewhat forced into the whole idea of marriage/children, mainly because of the women they are involved with.

[Moretorque]

I am specifically the type of guy that is supposed to be a father, it pains me to watch my family tree die. My life has no real purpose and alot of it stems from not having a family.

It is for the better however.

[Winston]

If a man chooses to have or not have children, that is his personal choice. No need to judge anyone who makes a personal choice.

However, if you do have children but you fail to take full responsibility for the life that you bring into this world, then I will judge you. Most people on this board will probably not say anything to you but I will because you claim to be a seeker of truth. Winston, IMHO you are a hypocrite. You have no credibility on this subject. If you truly didn't want children, why did you father a child? Why didn't you have a vasectomy, which would have been the best thing to do if you did not want to have children?

Who are you to advocate that men should not have children? Why should anyone listen to you when you have your own son that you've left behind in the care of his mother. From what I understand, you provide financial support but that's it. You might visit once in a while, give gifts, take them to dinner, etc. but after awhile you leave again. Abdicating your responsibilities as a father to your son, except for the financial one. While you travel the world being happier abroad, you've left your son to be raised by his mother, indoctrinating and brainwashing him to her values.

Boys who are raised mostly by their mother usually grow up to be screwed up. At a minimum, they become another mangina in the world, endlessly white knighting women and putting them on a pedestal. Your son is already showing signs of being brainwashed. In another thread he calls you a playboy when he sees your picture. How much will he resent you or hate you after he grows up?

I have no respect for anyone who fails to take full responsibility for a life that they brought into this world. Your child didn't ask to be brought into this world. A man always has a choice and a real man takes full, not partial responsibility for the consequences of the choices that he makes. At least you're not as bad as many Filipino men, who father children and give absolutely no support to the children they bring into the world. At least you provide financial support.

I'm quite sure that you will relentlessly attack me for expressing this opinion and rationalize the choices that you've made. And your rationalization will go on and on and on and on..... But you can't change the truth.

Instead of calling your web site HappierAbroad, maybe you should change it to: SelfishlyHappierAbroad

You are unduly judgmental and an example of why we should avoid Americans like you who like to judge negatively.

Everyone makes mistakes. It's a part of life. As a father, I am in a position to know better than non-fathers about the consequences of having children. I am merely telling the truth about it. If anything I said it incorrect, please point it out. But judging like this isn't going to do anything.

In some ways I may be hypocritical. But who isn't? Life is full of double standards. Men who do p4p would not want their daughters or sisters to be hoes. What's new? Hardly anyone is an angel or saint.

But at least I tell the truth with no BS. That's better than most guys. What I said about the consequences of children above is true. What's wrong with telling the truth?

I'm sorry, but I can't be something I'm not. I've explained that before. Why is that hard for you to understand? Being a stay at home father with no freedom would not make me happy. It's not me. I would not feel alive. And I do not believe in enslaving myself to someone else just because it's the right thing to do or society says so. I'd rather be free and "immoral" than "moral" and totally enslaved with no freedom. It's a no brainer.

Sorry if you don't like that. But that's the way it is. I never claimed to be a saint or angel. But I am honest at least and do not BS like most guys do.

[S_Parc]

But then, once you're out of that *destiny* crowd, what do you have? The late great American founding father Ben Franklin, had disowned his son, William Franklin, because he was a loyalist to the British Crown. That was a completely fractured family but yet, today, many Americans remember Ben Franklin as one of America's greatest founding fathers, as well as the Renaissance man of his times.

If abortion was available in the 1700s, chances are, William would never have been born and then, the great Ben Franklin would have been a childless overachiever in the annals of American history.

Perhaps I wasn't clear enough. My question to Winston was not about children. It was a question about his philosophy of life as it relates to altruism and selfishness as a dichotomy to which he leans heavily in a single direction. I was simply asking if there was anything in his life that was truly selfless that brought him joy, for he seems to be a relentless advocate of selfishness as a way of life.

As I stated previously, the decision to have or care for children is a very personal one to be taken seriously. I do not believe having children is a noble thing for all people, but rather a thing that is right for some and wrong for others.

IMHO, Winston right now, has no purpose in life, other than being a sort of lifelong globe-trekking hippy of sorts [ but w/o the hair or Deadhead attire]. And thus, without that sense of purpose, it's even better that he doesn't have a family because that's not the best way to inspire children to follow their dreams as they grow up.

If Winston were more like let's say Ben Franklin, he'd have a lot of interesting hobbies and pursuits and probably wouldn't be complaining about women in Taiwan, as he'd be too busy writing a screenplay, climbing Mt McKinley, forming a musical band, or designing a new hang glider. Instead, all we hear around here is endless whining about Taiwan/USA being superficial and the Philippines being poor and backwards. Well ... that was 2008 news and now, it's 2013.

And no, being Ben Franklin or Leonardo daVinci doesn't mean that one should have kids either.

[Winston]

This kind of strikes at the heart of Winston's greatest flaw. Winston, I have a question- do you seek to bring any good to this world beyond pleasure for yourself and spreading the word that others can have this selfish but enjoyable existence themselves? It seems you advocate meeting women abroad, but not marrying them nor procreating with them. While most of us concede that marriage and children are personal choices, you seem to advocate your particular brand of hedonism for everyone.

I guess it all comes down to this: when you die, how do you want those you leave behind to remember you? What mark do you want to leave on this world? What brings you pleasure aside from simply bringing yourself pleasure? Do you live for nothing else?

I think you have a lot of great ideas, but a lot of misguided ones as well.

That's not my greatest flaw. I have far greater ones.

I don't understand your question. Sorry but I am not a self-sacrificing person who gets pleasure out of being selfless and serving others for nothing. Some do, but not all. Not everyone gets pleasure from doing charity work for no reward.

I do help others of course, in my own ways, but giving up your whole life and freedom for another is a another matter. We will all do favors for our friends, but there are limits to charity and self-sacrifice.

Some guys are marriage types, others are not. I don't tell anyone here what to do. I just educate them on the consequences of doing so.

I've never said that I was a saint or angel. But I tell the truth. And many people appreciate that. I tell truths that others dare not. That should be admirable at least.

I'm not going to lie and pretend to be something I'm not.

[Winston]

IMHO, Winston right now, has no purpose in life, other than being a sort of lifelong globe-trekking hippy of sorts [ but w/o the hair or Deadhead attire]. And thus, without that sense of purpose, it's even better that he doesn't have a family because that's not the best way to inspire children to follow their dreams as they grow up.

If Winston were more like let's say Ben Franklin, he'd have a lot of interesting hobbies and pursuits and probably wouldn't be complaining about women in Taiwan, as he'd be too busy writing a screenplay, climbing Mt McKinley, forming a musical band, or designing a new hang glider. Instead, all we hear around here is endless whining about Taiwan/USA being superficial and the Philippines being poor and backwards. Well ... that was 2008 news and now, it's 2013.

And no, being Ben Franklin or Leonardo daVinci doesn't mean that one should have kids either.

Nothing wrong with being a perpetual traveler. There are many places I want to see in this world. I just have bad time management skills, like most of you probably.

You obviously don't know me. I have more hobbies and interests than anyone else here. I have high knowledge in 7 or 8 subjects and MANY hobbies. Anyone can see that from my writings. Haven't you noticed? I've written a lot about history, philosophy, spirituality, paranormal, conspiracies, etc. I am a nature lover, not a big city lover like most here, and am happier in nature, not in cities. I have been on meditation retreats twice at a Buddhist center in Chino Valley, Arizona. I visit museums when I travel because I'm a history buff. I love tennis and swimming, and have been an actor. I am into chess and good at it too. I know a lot about astrology and paranormal studies as well. I've even written romantic poetry as well. How many guys here have done that?

So you see, I have a TON of hobbies and am very eclectic Renaissance type of man. So you obviously don't know anything about me. Please stop spreading lies and falsehoods.

[S_Parc]

Nothing wrong with being a perpetual traveler. There are many places I want to see in this world. I just have bad time management skills, like most of you probably.

You obviously don't know me. I have more hobbies and interests than anyone else here. I have high knowledge in 7 or 8 subjects and MANY hobbies. Anyone can see that from my writings. Haven't you noticed? I've written a lot about history, philosophy, spirituality, paranormal, conspiracies, etc. I am a nature lover, not a big city lover like most here, and am happier in nature, not in cities. I have been on meditation retreats twice at a Buddhist center in Chino Valley, Arizona. I visit museums when I travel because I'm a history buff. I love tennis and swimming, and have been an actor. I am into chess and good at it too. I know a lot about astrology and paranormal studies as well. I've even written romantic poetry as well. How many guys here have done that?

So you see, I have a TON of hobbies and am very eclectic Renaissance type of man. So you obviously don't know anything about me. Please stop spreading lies and falsehoods.

Ok, I stand corrected. I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong.

And likewise, I'm also a renaissance man and believe that I have a purpose to this life and thus, I'm in pursuit of just that, while enjoying the roses on the road.

Since that Brazilian relationship had ended, I'd completely lost interest in marriage and having kids. That's now certain, as before, I'd felt that I was hypnotized for those years, in some cul de sac where the Latin American way [ Catholic wedding/3-4 kids ] was the best path out of American misery. Today, that whole experience is little more than a memory.

[Rock]

IMHO, Winston right now, has no purpose in life, other than being a sort of lifelong globe-trekking hippy of sorts [ but w/o the hair or Deadhead attire]. And thus, without that sense of purpose, it's even better that he doesn't have a family because that's not the best way to inspire children to follow their dreams as they grow up.

If Winston were more like let's say Ben Franklin, he'd have a lot of interesting hobbies and pursuits and probably wouldn't be complaining about women in Taiwan, as he'd be too busy writing a screenplay, climbing Mt McKinley, forming a musical band, or designing a new hang glider. Instead, all we hear around here is endless whining about Taiwan/USA being superficial and the Philippines being poor and backwards. Well ... that was 2008 news and now, it's 2013.

And no, being Ben Franklin or Leonardo daVinci doesn't mean that one should have kids either.

Nothing wrong with being a perpetual traveler. There are many places I want to see in this world. I just have bad time management skills, like most of you probably.

You obviously don't know me. I have more hobbies and interests than anyone else here. I have high knowledge in 7 or 8 subjects and MANY hobbies. Anyone can see that from my writings. Haven't you noticed? I've written a lot about history, philosophy, spirituality, paranormal, conspiracies, etc. I am a nature lover, not a big city lover like most here, and am happier in nature, not in cities. I have been on meditation retreats twice at a Buddhist center in Chino Valley, Arizona. I visit museums when I travel because I'm a history buff. I love tennis and swimming, and have been an actor. I am into chess and good at it too. I know a lot about astrology and paranormal studies as well. I've even written romantic poetry as well. How many guys here have done that?

So you see, I have a TON of hobbies and am very eclectic Renaissance type of man. So you obviously don't know anything about me. Please stop spreading lies and falsehoods.

On paper, you sound like a great match for Janet Hsieh. Your talents and skills complement hers.

[Winston]

Nothing wrong with being a perpetual traveler. There are many places I want to see in this world. I just have bad time management skills, like most of you probably.

You obviously don't know me. I have more hobbies and interests than anyone else here. I have high knowledge in 7 or 8 subjects and MANY hobbies. Anyone can see that from my writings. Haven't you noticed? I've written a lot about history, philosophy, spirituality, paranormal, conspiracies, etc. I am a nature lover, not a big city lover like most here, and am happier in nature, not in cities. I have been on meditation retreats twice at a Buddhist center in Chino Valley, Arizona. I visit museums when I travel because I'm a history buff. I love tennis and swimming, and have been an actor. I am into chess and good at it too. I know a lot about astrology and paranormal studies as well. I've even written romantic poetry as well. How many guys here have done that?

So you see, I have a TON of hobbies and am very eclectic Renaissance type of man. So you obviously don't know anything about me. Please stop spreading lies and falsehoods.

On paper, you sound like a great match for Janet Hsieh. Your talents and skills complement hers.

LOL. Except that:

1. She considers herself out of my league, and may even be a lesbian in fact, according to rumors.
2. She's not an intellectual or freethinker.
3. She's a politically correct type who does not believe in telling negative truths, no matter how true they are. So you can't be too honest around her.

[Repatriate]

On paper, you sound like a great match for Janet Hsieh. Your talents and skills complement hers.

I've noticed that a lot of middle class and upper middle class Taiwanese people like to accumulate "high brow" type hobbies or interests without actually having any passion in any of it. So you'll see bored Taiwanese kids learning things like violin or piano or the same types talking about high art as if they really have an interest in it. Most of these people were force fed "high" culture by their face conscious parents and in fact have no interest in any of it.

The only time i'm impressed by these types is if they can bust out some truly subversive knowledge. Like one upper middle class Taiwanese-American I met was a chemistry major and was stereotypically forced to learn the violin at a young age. He turned his rather square occupation and Chemistry major into a keen interest in drug manufacturing techniques and bomb making. He never actually did anything with it as far as I know but it was interesting talking with him about the processes involved. He was Walter White in Breaking Bad before there was ever such a popular concept. But like I said he was interested in this stuff for knowledge sakes and never did anything with it as far as I know.

[S_Parc]

The underlying question, for either House or Winston, is whether or not one's activities and/or life's path (not always conjoined), derives some level of happiness, satisfaction, or beatitude?

If so, then in my opinion, altruism is a side effect, not the main driver. The first person who'd invented the dishwater, did it because her servants were routinely damaging the plates. Her invention was for herself but then later, the idea got around and was eventually available for others.

[S_Parc]

I've noticed that a lot of middle class and upper middle class Taiwanese people like to accumulate "high brow" type hobbies or interests without actually having any passion in any of it. So you'll see bored Taiwanese kids learning things like violin or piano or the same types talking about high art as if they really have an interest in it. Most of these people were force fed "high" culture by their face conscious parents and in fact have no interest in any of it.

This sounds like Amy Chua and the Tiger Mom thing.